Well, today was my last session with Nicole for personal training. I did work harder today than I have before. It was a good day that way. Also got to see a good friend around lunch time and had a chance to talk with him - always a good thing. I got my measurements updated at the gym, so have moved my measurement list so it's here at the bottom of my journal. I'll probably add another list of my goals, too so it's all closer today. I'm in a pretty good spot - been losing very consistently which has been exciting. Spend a lot of time in the bathroom in the morning, but it's worth the inconvenience to be able to get to my goal weight eventually! Time to sleep, so I had better go. I'm down 41 inches overall at least than 4 months out from surgery!

Wow! This month has been just fantastic. I'm now down 81 pounds and feeling great. I started seriously exercising this month and I think it has been helping in getting the old metabolism moving, too! It's hard to believe I've lost over 10 pounds since just the 16th.

I did something else I haven't before on this site. I updated my weight - so my bmi now shows at 57.2. Before surgery it was 71 by some calculations!

Physically, I'm doing well. Still have "morning issues" but usually all is fine by the time I leave for whereever I have to go. Has been quite decent as far as gas, unless I really go nuts carb-wise. I have had a few carb-ful days and rather regret those when they happen. I've been making better food choices for the most part and cooking more. I'm really enjoying that. Most fast food (surprisingly) has been sounding really nasty. That being said, yesterday I did have a Dick's Cheeseburger, and I went to the Red Robin for dinner. Did I have fries with dinner? Yep. I had the kids' fish meal, cheaper than the burger I wanted, too! Next time, I'll try the Banzai Burger in a lettuce wrap.

Emotionally, I'm doing okay. I went to church this last weekend, and went out to lunch with friends for the first time in ages. They haven't been going out after church anymore, either. It's interesting, sometimes I think I'm the glue that kept the singles group together for such a long time. I was always the one making the plans and "making things happen". I went to a Mariner's game with friends last week, too, and that was great fun even though we lost. It was a lot easier walking around with almost 80 pounds off me!

80 pounds! Wow, 81 now! I'm sure hoping that I'll get down at least another 5 pounds by my 4 month anniversary on July 10th. Then, I REALLY hope that I make it to 100 by my 5th month anniversary. I know, I know, it's not about the numbers, but, it sure helps how I feel with the pounds off! I just wanna be healthy.

Bless you all out there. I hope you are having a lovely summer so far!

Wow.. I finally reached 70 pounds gone. That's a milestone for me. I dropped it rather quickly, so I may bounce up for a few days, but, that can be expected so I won't freak out about it. I updated my weight tracker, too! :)

I'm working what probably is my last day subbing today. It's at the school I have subbed the most at, which is nice. Been to the gym the past few days and had a bit lower caloric intake last night so that's probably what revved my loss up last night. I'm sad, my personal trainer is leaving Seattle and moving to Florida. I'm going to miss her, and so next week and the week after, I'm going to train every day to get myself into the groove and habit. Hopefully that will jump start things weight wise, as well. I know exercise has to be big for me - my family just doesn't maintain weight well without exercise an active (hehe) role in our lives.

The Big D has gone down a bit, I thought, the past few days, but then coming home from the gym it was one of those, "ohmygosh, I had better go straight home and not stop for anything" feelings. I made it, but, it's rather annoying. I had an "incident" last week while working, how embarrassing! Noone noticed except me, but, still! Taking acidolphilus so that seems to be helping, I hope.

Well, it's off to work for now. Be blessed, everyone and have a fantabulous day! Oh, also, I wanted to post my fitday info here for anyone that wants to look. It's at; http://www.fitday.com/WebFit/PublicJournals.html?Owner=kilaani so have fun reading!

I just had my 3 month anniversary. Despite being a bit discouraged on how really slow it is going, I know losing 65 pounds is a good and reasonable amount for a revision. So what if I had lost about 100 by 4 months last time around, it's just not going to happen that way this time. I guess the upside of that is that I won't gain it back this time! I am eating about 1800 calories a day average, and getting in around 90 grams of protein from real food. All those jugs of protein powder are just sitting in the pantry, but that's okay. I'll be watching my labs to see how I'm doing in those areas, who knows, maybe I'll have to add a shake back in. Yesterday, I hit over 100 grams of protein without really trying too hard - amazing!

I measured myself this morning. My personal trainer is leaving at the end of the month and so I need to start measuring myself, the best I can. As far as I can tell, I've lost 39 inches. Mostly off the waist and hips, so it's not terribly noticeable since those are my huge spots. I'm going to train next week three days, and hopefully 4 days the following week. I want to get in as many sessions as I can before she goes.

Emotionally, it's been difficult. I alluded to a feeling of discouragement. Well, it's been more than that, really. I feel lonely lately. A good friend is no longer at my church and I don't see him anymore, another friend has dropped out of the picture and has also shown herself to be less than honoring to me. I ended up spending all my last weekend doing for others and felt like I ended up with "sap" on my forehead. I need to find some balance. My mom is coming to visit next Friday so that will be good. I like having her around. :) I think getting to the gym regularly will help, too. I'm trying to work as much as I can before the school year ends and then I have just about a week break before summer quarter begins, and I'm sure it will be quite intense. Classes every day from 11:30-1:20..except Fridays at least. That's for four weeks, then I get a weekend at the cabin with friends, hopefully, and after that, back into classes from 9:30-11:20.. ugh, not looking forward to driving into the city that early in the day!

Spiritually, I've felt dry, notwithstanding that right now I should be at church! I'm an hour late. If I can get myself out of here at least I'll make over half the service. I know the Lord knows my frame, that I am made of dust. I feel Him just loving me, and that's a comfort, that I do know He is there. After all, one of my main verses is Mercy Triumphs over Judgment. All my life I have been judged based on what I did or what I looked like. I am looking forward to God's mercy truly triumphing over that in the end.

Well, I love my new haircut (as an update to what I last posted) and my bowels seem to have quieted down some. I added acidophilus (can't remember how to spell it) to my supplements, and I think it's working. Thanks to all of you hanging in there through my saga of bowel issues, heh! I'm back to a few times in the morning, and that's completely liveable!

As far as weight, things are going downward, so the trend is good. I've been keeping track (of course) on fitday, and my average calories for the last week are at about 1727 with 22 gr fiber (whoot!) and 76 gr protein. Still working to up that protein. Yesterday I think I hit 92gr of protein. I'm still not sure how I did it exactly! I haven't been truly faithful with the gym yet. After school is out and my event is over with on Saturday I have a few weeks to get my schedule in order before summer quarter begins. I sure need that time!

I've been more content lately, it helps to see the scale go the right direction and to start feeling like, yeah, I have lost weight, I can tell. I got out of the car and was walking across the parking lot the other day and my friends were like, WOW, we can tell! I was so happy to hear it! Of course they are friends in the "know" but still. I went shopping last week and splurged on a few things - got Merrell slip ons in lime green and white (fun!) and a lime green Skagen watch and some other shoes that are just really fun! These are the pink ones I got - very similar, at least: http://www.wantedshoes.com/cgi-bin/display_item.cgi?id=stars~pink&category=Sandals I don't know if that link will stay good, but oh well! It was fun to go shopping, and since I didn't have any shirts with green on them, I went to Catherines the next day and bought 3 shirts with lime green in 'em. One of the shirts I bought was a 4X, so down 2 sizes, whoot! It feels good to have something I feel good/stylin in and I had compliments on my shoes the other day. They are fun!

I just noticed a post I made on 3/28/05 where I said I hoped that I'd get down under 400 so the pain in my leg would stop, and how my knees had still been hurting then. I have to say that the pain that was shooting up and down my leg is gone, as is the terrible pain in my knees! I am able to get out of chairs a lot easier now, too. I am back to normal or better as far as my energy goes. It seems like I'm able to do more than I was, that's for sure. Tonight is my last class so I had better go get my presentation done. Bless y'all.

Well, here's another quick update. I had my first day of almost 20 grams fiber and I'm glad I started paying attention that way. I just heard today of someone that had a bowel obstruction, and I hear fiber is the best way to take care of that. I'm not sure what would work on the limb that sends just the bile and pancreatic juices - I wonder how do we keep that part healthy?

I'm going to the gym tonight. I started weight lifting last week and I felt so great afterwards. I love that sore muscle feeling (yeah, I'm sick, I know!) because it reminds me I actually DO have muscles underneath all the fat. I'm off to work this morning, too, so I had better get moving and get some food in me. I have my water for the first quarter of the day all ready to go! I've already taken my iron/vit c, and will take my vitamins to get in at my first break. I'm currently taking (per day):
4 iron (100mg)
1 vit c

2 multi
2 adek
8 calcium (2000 mg)
1 hair/skin/nails
1 b100

Occasionally, I also take a b12 sublingual. I have heard that DS'ers don't tend to have as much problem with B12, but, it can't hurt. My mom gets b12 shots and she's a normie.

I am so mad! I just typed in a whole long post, and it was really insightful and from the heart, and I lost the whole thing! Arggh, my bad for not saving part way through.

I have been looking at my past entries, and realized that I am very unlikely to meet the sort of goals I had written about Rabkins' numbers. My weightloss has slowed down dramatically since after the first month. It has been a huge source of frustration and I have had to realize that my expectations need to be adjusted. I had a surgery 7 years ago with the adjustable gastric band and I lost very rapidly for the first five months. By 4 months, I had lost 100 pounds, and by 6 months, 150 pounds. I believed that since the DS is malabsorptive compared to the AGB, that *this* time I had surgery, I should lose just as rapidly. There were several issues that I did not consider. First, I'm not as young as I was 7 years ago. I've hit the dreaded 40 where it is reputed that one's metabolism slows significantly. In addition, my metabolism has had 7 more years of being messed up. The other factor that I had refused to consider is that since I am a revision, I should not expect the same sort of quick weightloss a first timer might have. This makes me very sad. I have sooooo much to lose, I couldn't fathom that I wouldn't lose rapidly with the combination of restriction and malabsorption.

I have also seen that in the past month, the amount I can eat has increased SIGNIFICANTLY. I can eat 3oz of chicken at one time. My stomache is supposed to be 3oz big, so I'm thinking it must be a little bigger than that, because I fit some chips in as well. I wonder if I am going to be able to outeat this surgery somehow. However, in our discussion at the Portland Baltazar meeting yesterday, and in conversation with Dina last week, I realize that I need to get rid of some of my RNY thinking. The RNY and the DS are two completely different surgeries. As Dina said, otherwise, why is it that DS'ers lose the diabetes when they get switched and RNY's don't. It's something about the switch that makes us different. Also, RNY's have to be very careful about grazing, for them, grazing is evil. For the DS, it's not such a bad thing. It allows us to be able to get enough food in. I don't know why that all seems so wrong to me, but, here I have the examples of people that have done it, and are living it.

I am frustrated, but I've decided that I am going to work more on water. I know I've been saying it, but now I have a plan. I will drink 4 16.9 oz bottles of water/crystal light a day - one by 1pm, another by 4pm, another by 7pm and the last by 10pm...putting one into each quarter of the day will make it easier. I have gotten two down today, and I'm a bit behind, but I'll make it. Yesterday I did drink 70oz, and that was huge for me. I'm also working more on getting fiber into my diet. I bought some all-bran flakes today and that's one of my meals for today. I've been averaging about 1347 calories for the past month. The past week, I've been averaging closer to 1700 calories- which seems so high for me, but, I know that a lot of it is fat calories, which aren't absorbed as well by DS'ers.

I just was on another mini-plateau which fortunately ended, but, things are sure not moving like gangbusters. Part of the discouragement is that I really can't tell that much that I've lost, and other folks don't really notice that much either. One thing I did do the other day is get measured. I was a bit encouraged by that. I've moved my measurements to the bottom of my notes to keep track ongoing.

I was a bit more relaxed after seeing that yes, there is a change in my body - but still, it's hard to see that I only lost 7 pounds the second month, and so far the 3rd month, I've only lost 3 pounds. I know, I know, some say I should put the scale away and I'm trying not to let it rule my life, but I want a record.

I realized it's been a long time since I've updated now. I know in my last post I talked about the plateau - it lasted 17 or 18 days! It was helpful that a lot of people on the boards assured me it was normal, but it was still hard to go through. Finally I started losing again, but it's been quite slow. Today, I finally am down 50 pounds. I don't really feel like I've lost anything, but, moving is easier and my pants are loose, whereas right before surgery, they were getting tight. So that's something! I've been eating a lot of different foods, and the past 5 days or so I've been trying to make sure and get some fiber in. I need to be getting 25 gr fiber a day for a healthy intestinal tract, but, I've been pleased to just get in 15gr compared to what I was getting. I still have been struggling with water intake - but yesterday I think I was getting closer to 64oz. I think in all my post op time (56 days now!) I've only hit 64oz once. But.. yesterday was over 50oz, an improvement.

I still haven't gotten in the habit of getting to the gym and I really need to do that. I think it will speed things up immensely if I'm moving more. I'm not sure why I seem to be losing slowly, but, I hadn't expected it at all considering my size! I'm also struggling with diarrhea - not sure if it's the gallbladder issue, or too much fat or carbs or what, but it's bothersome. It hasn't been since surgery that I've had it consistently, but, the past month or so it's been pretty much everyday. It's a good thing I don't work (or at least not much). I am going to work a full day today, so I'm praying it won't be an issue - I got up extra early to try and get the big D out of the way. Usually it's been a morning thing, but, the past few days it's happened in the late afternoon/evening as well, arghhhh! I have a few pills left that Dr. B. gave me, I need to take them and see if that helps. Today: I will drink 64oz of water (crystal light) if it kills me! At least I love the crystal light lemonade. I tried the raspberry lemonade, but I didn't like it as much. Problem to think about: How to incorporate more vegetables and healthy foods into my diet. Oooh, one other thing I forgot mention. My knees are almost completely back to normal. At least resting all this time has done one good thing! Whoot!

Well, it's been an interesting few days. I posted this to the boards regarding my 1 month: As of one month, I'm down 45 pounds after my revision from AGB to BPD-DS.
Haven't had too many bathroom issues, things seem to be settling down and
I'm finally starting to feel a little better. I really identify with the hibernation stuff that I was reading about post-surgery - as I have been dragging ever since I
got home from Spain.

I saw my PCP two days ago and he said he hopes that everything goes well after
having made this drastic change.. Sheesh! I was hoping for a bit more
encouraging words than that, but he's rather a low key guy. He was
completely supportive of any labs I need to have done and filled out the
referral to get a dexascan (anyone know how expensive those are? I don't
have insurance).

He looked at my post op x-rays of my new stomach/old band pouch and was
happy to hear of my weight loss. He also looked at my two incisions that are
still not closed and said we should give them another month - he said the
one where my port was removed has been forming "granulations" or something
to that effect... it's healing from the inside out, it appears. There is
one spot on the right side of my incision that has a hard lump underneath,
he said he doesn't think it's a hernia, but it may be a hematoma, or perhaps
the muscle just got doubled up in that spot... we'll see.

Here's my ????? Since the 10th, I haven't lost a thing... I am wondering if I'm not eating enough, not drinking enough (more likely), not eating enough protein, eating too much fat, or what. I know it's just likely that my body may need a breather, but.. heh, I'm impatient. I got used to seeing the scale slide down a half pound or so every day. :whines: I've got sooooo much to lose, it just makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong! I am struggling to get more than 48oz of water in a day... I just forget! Even if I'm holding a water bottle in my hand!

I have been frustrated the past few days, and for some reason, I've been a bit gassier, too. The energy that I thought I was getting back died down again, and I ended up missing a breakfast meeting with a friend this morning because my alarm didn't go off! The stupid thing fell off my chair and turned itself off. Talk about feeling dumb. :(

Today I'm trying to stick just to protein as much as I can - I'm having a champion whey stack chocolate protein drink right now (and I added 1 tablespoon peanut butter, yum), and then planning on an egg, 2 slices louis rich turkey bacon, 1 slice amercian cheese and a half english muffin (okay, so there are the carbs). All told, that's 558 calories for the day so far (and I won't get hungry again for houuuurs and 48gr protein, 31gr fat, 22gr carbs... I wonder if I'm getting too much fat in - my "pie graph" looks like there's an awful lot of fat that I'm getting in, and I'm not really adding any butter, either! Dang... this new eating is a live and learn thing. My stomach has been unsettled today, and a bit more gassy than usual, which I don't care for. Ah well... it'll feel better when the scale starts to move again.. I hope it starts moving again!

Well, I got home a few nights ago and I'm doing fine! I've been on soft foods a few days now. I've had soups, scrambled eggs, soft cheese (laughing cow type), oatmeal, pintos and cheese from Taco Bell, and of course, mashed potatoes from KFC. I don't like the gravy, so I just added more butter, yum! I was excited to have lost 25 pounds when I got home, now it's to 30 pounds gone. I've been having trouble with the knees, so I haven't been that good about walking yet while at home. I actually did better in Spain about that! Maybe because there wasn't much else to do. At home, I can always find something to distract me!

I have to say that I believe that my experience was life changing in Spain. Not just because of the surgery, but because of my time to reflect and read. I have been reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, and Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen. Both books have been spectacular and were just wait I needed at the time. I was especially impacted by Joel's book and the way it reminded me that joy is really a choice in the moment, and life is a process not a destination. Other bits of information....I think I wrote about my papers and how worried I was about my grades. Well... I got an A in both classes. Silly me, I need to stop getting so worked up and stop procrastinating, it will make life so much easier! Eventually, it'll happen, I know.

As far as life being easier, I can't wait to get down another 20 or so pounds and get under 400. My right leg is numb and has some shooting pains some of the time up the thigh, and I'm sure it's from the extra pressure of the weight on a nerve. Soon, that'll go away! Update for the day. I decided to list a bit of what I've eaten today. I think this is all I had: scrambled egg, 2 laughing cow cheese bites (tiny), protein shake (vanilla cinnamon ids), string cheese, 1/2 cup of Ivar's chowder (after which I felt overfull so I laid down and slept a few hours), sf jello cup, and that's it! I don't think I'll be having any problems with calories for today! My trainer Nicole was funny, she was saying something about watching calories, and I was thinking, Calories? I don't need to worry about no stinking calories! When I went to the gym, we figured out that the reason my knees may hurt so badly is that when I was walking in Spain I didn't have good supportive shoes. Hopefully, then, after a few more days, the pain will go away, the joints are maybe just inflamed. So...I've taken some ibubrofen, and I've iced my knees a few times today. Right leg numbing hasn't been as bad today.

Well, at least 435 was my official surgery weight. I had surgery a week ago on 3/10/05. As far as surgery itself, I can only sound like everyone else when I say I LOVE Dr. Baltasar! As of today, I am feeling pretty great. I won´t take the time to explain everything now but, it did go smoothly, and all is well. No complications, I´ve had very little pain. Right now we´re staying in Benidorm Spain which I highly recommend! It is one of the 3 largest resort towns in all of Europe. It reminds me a little of Waikiki. I´m getting the walking and drinking in, still on liquids right now,but try to make sure I am drinking every 3 minutes. Blessings to you all, and I love the new look for my site! Especially since I am staying on the beach overlooking the Mediterranean, and I very much love the sea!

This was our balcony from the Les Dunes Suites overlooking the Meditarranean!

This was down on the promenade. There were people building sand castles and all sorts of things on the beach. Considering I am less than 2 weeks out from surgery I think I am doing great!

I will weigh myself in a week when I get home on the 25th and see how much (if any) I have lost.

Had to update my weight. I can't wait to leave today. Once again, see you on the other side! Blessings, Jill

Well, as the scale shows, I'm just hovering around the same place. As far as the paper goes - nope, still not done. Still not started! But, I have gotten my desk cleared, my kitchen cleaned and feel a lot better about that. I have been getting protein shakes in, but, not so great about my water today. Still have the sore throat which makes things tough, I'm hoping to get rid of it long before I head to Spain! Eeeps, one week from today, I will be on a flight to Copenhagen, about 5 hours into my 13 hours of flying time! God is good, I've settled down a little today, so, I'm not feeling as weirded out. Tomorrow I'm planning on starting 40 days of Purpose - reading the Purpose Driven Life. I haven't ever gotten through it before, and I know I won't really be able to with the surgery and all, but, at least it will be something to start it. The Lord is good and his mercies endure forever, that's the verse that goes through my head right now. Even though I'm crummy, and I can't do anything right, He is merciful to me - it even says that Mercy Triumphs over Judgement. I feel like that is my life mantra. God has been merciful to me over and over again in my life, and I know this surgery is another example of his mercy.

I can't believe it! Well, I guess I can. I'm up to 435 again. Well, it just goes to show ya what can happen with little exercise, little water, and some major carbs. I had 3 goals for my pre-surgery days: getting at least 64oz water in, taking my vitamins, and exercizing three days a week. Well, except for my vitamins, I've not been doing so well. I know, also, that since I'm getting close to surgery, I need to start protein-loading as they call it, and making sure I get enough vitamin c which helps healing (per Rachel, and I think I had heard that elsewhere, too). I have less than 15 days (according to my counter) and I have to get myself in shape for this surgery! I'm a little afraid of traveling at this weight - last time when I was 440 and going to Stockholm, at least I was younger. In all honesty, though, I think my co-morbs are a little less this time around. I don't have the weeping edema from my legs, and my asthma isn't quite as bad as it was. I also have been getting a little more cardio than I was back then. My pulse is a more normal rate - 7 years ago my resting pulse was 104! Now, it's around 80. On the downside from 7 years ago, my blood pressure is higher, and I'm beginning to wonder if I might not have sleep apnea - I am so tired and I find that I have to battle nodding off just sitting or driving and especially when I'm supposed to be studying! Overall, I'm just so glad that surgery is getting closer. I haven't mentioned it much in my journal, but I do have a strong faith in Jesus Christ and I am so thankful for his provision for me. I know that this surgery is my miracle. I have had many promises and "words" over the years, and the one I know for certain is true is that the Lord would change me from the inside out. He has been doing that with heart issues over the years, but, now, it will be a literal change from the inside out. That really hit me a few days ago. Jeremiah 29:11-13 has been my promise verse for a long time, and I am looking forward to a hope and a future!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Okay, that helps with the right perspective. All I can do right now is get myself up from the computer, go drink some water, drink a protein shape and get myself ready for school.

Ouch. I can't believe I'm actually back up to 433. It's been a while since I posted last, not that I think anyone is actually reading my journal here! In the meantime,though, I did get my pictures posted and also started a photo gallery at www.bodybybaltasar.com under Jill. I've been struggling a bit with my feelings the past few days. I haven't done as well with water, vitamins, or exercise as I vowed I would, and here I am pre-op with no excuses of feeling sick or with an upset stomach or hurting. I did come down with some nasty swollen throat glands and a sore throat the past few days, and right now I'm battling a nasty headache. On the plus side, I had an appointment with my PCP Thursday and he was glad to hear of my plans, and has stated he will do any labs I need. We'll also do a bone scan at 3 months out so we have a baseline. I got some extra sleeping and pain meds for after surgery as I have heard that sometimes pain management isn't as good in the hospital there as I could want. I met some very nice folks at the South Sound DS support group today, one lady has lost 325 pounds with the DS and PS! I was very encouraged by that as I hadn't heard of anyone losing that much. My main issue right now is school - I feel like the time remaining is going down the drain - I am not keeping up on things at all, and I have to get it done. I also have a lot of things to do at home to get organized and ready to leave. In just an hour, it's exactly 2 weeks until the day I leave for Spain! Overwhelming is what it is. I need all the prayers I can get! Lord, please sustain me in my hour of need!

Still 430, was up to 431 again and then actually hit 429.8 again. Sheesh! The good news is that I have started organizing, a little, and I think I'll be ready by the time I need to leave for Spain. I've been thinking about doing a will, too, before I go. It's always a good idea, at least. After all, I am 40 years old! Today I did something great! I went to the gym for the first time in about a month! I got a new personal trainer, her name is Nicole, and she is going to be really good. She wants to train with me twice a week until I go for surgery. Everyone at 24hour Fitness has been really encouraging me about doing the surgery. So after I set up my first appointment with her (for tomorrow 8pm, after my class), I went on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, and then I went in the pool (which has now been changed to saltwater, which is excellent!) and swam there for 30 minutes! I got an HOUR in of cardio, whoot! Impressive considering I've been sucking wind so much just walking across the room. But, for some reason, the elliptical doesn't make me gasp like walking does - perhaps it's something about the pressure being off the knees. Swimming is wonderful because I actually feel weightless. 30 minutes of laps, though, is a bit more strenuous, depending on what stroke. Since I have been favoring my left elbow and shoulder, I did some backstroke, some breaststroke, some sidestroke. I look forward to tomorrow night, but, for now, I should probably sleep.

I actually was up to 432 a few days ago. Sheesh, it's a pain struggling, but at least I'm staying on top of it. I added a counter, if anyone reads this and knows of a better one, I'd love it. I'm using weight commander to track my weight - I like it because I can use it when I'm not online - although Michael does have an online version, as well. A lot of folks talk about fitday but for me it was just kind of confusing. I went to the store the other day and was able to RESIST buying high sugar foods, I guess I'm starting to gear up towards surgery. I've only got 33 days left until surgery; it's getting close! There is so much to do here at my house - I need to get it completely cleaned before I go to Spain and I struggle with moving around much. Right now, I'm a curious mixture of hope and feeling like this is all a dream, that WLS won't really help, I'm only dreaming it will.

Weight Loss Goals (these would be ideals - 51% in 6 months is a statistic from Dr. Rabkin, I've read 81% by one year somewhere, I can't remember exactly and 91% by two years from Dr. Rabkin):
51% of excess weight by 9/10/05 – would be 285 by then (-150 pounds lost)****Not going to happen, by a longshot! (By the way, just hit 285 in the month of December, so that was 3 months after the 6 month mark).
81% of excess weight lost by 3/10/06 – will be 197! (-238 pounds lost) ***I doubt I'll be down that much! I'm projecting much closer to 61% EWL by my one year mark which would be 260 pounds, -180lbs gone in one year. ********(I actually made 259 pounds for 1 year, 181lbs gone, 62% of EWL)****** I wish it was higher, but, oh well! Better than being 440 lbs!

I'm looking for 100% of excess weight lost by 3/10/07 – will be 149, which means 110 pounds in 12 months! (-291 pounds lost total) We'll see if I actually get there with working out and eating right and the DS. At that point I'm sure I'll be looking forward to summer vacation when I can get plastic surgery!

It will be fun to post what my ACTUAL dates are for my weight loss!

After some wonderful input from Dina :) I researched a bunch about the BPD-DS (go to www.duodenalswitch.com for more information) and I am going to have surgery with Dr. Baltasar in Spain since I am self pay (go to www.bodybybaltasar.com for more information!)My surgery date is 3/10/05!

Prior adjustable gastric band done in Stockholm Sweden in 2/98. Lost 150 pounds in 5 months, then band stopped working - leak issue. Slowly have regained all weight except 5 pounds.