Well, I had my visit with my PCP on Wednesday, I’m down 17lbs by his scale, 20lbs on my scale! In 5 months  I just started eating 4 meals a day with healthy snacks.

It was my 6^th visit which meant he sent out for  insurance. When he said he was sending out my stuff, I didn’t look too excited because I know that I don’t have enough information to be considered for a 6 month supervised diet. I know I will not be approved, which is expected and kind of saddening. I’ve looked into getting another insurance it’s an individual coverage that covers WLS and does not require a 6 month diet.

The thing is that the premiums are so expensive so I’ve started looking into getting a second job to pay for the premium. I’m hopping to get all this done by next month before my next visit with him. A second job would also help clear up some bills. I'm still going to start a 6month diet with my doctor incase things don't pan out the way I'm planning. We always make our plans but in the end God's got his plan of us.

I started this weight loss journey June 2007; I’ve gone through 3 potential surgeons, 2 hospitals and 5 different insurances, now after 2,000 dollars worth of co-pays and uncovered insurance bills. I now have to start a more detailed 6 month pre op diet. I’m stressed, depressed, beaten, broke and angry I feel like saying &#$ it, and just giving up. I don't know..If I start a 6 month I won't be finished until January. And I'm working at a job which I can't stand only for the insurance

Another summer fat so far…can’t help but feel icky no more baggy sweaters. I know I shouldn’t be feeling sorry for myself I should probably be doing push ups or something. Waiting on Insurance approval…or at least I think I am. I got a call yesterday saying that my insurance was canceled so I called back and they told me it was a mistake and they are reinstating it and I’ll get a new card in the mail which sucks because I’m not sure if they sent out or not yet. So I’m waiting on the new card then I’ll bring it over to the surgeon’s office and really start waiting which means biting my nails and no sleep. I’m so ready to have this surgery.  

It’s been a while since I’ve updated I’m still in the lingo process. It will be a whole year in June since I started this process. Which makes me wish that I would have started it sooner but there is no time like the present time. I believe now I am ready mentally than I was even 5 months ago. In my mind I was thinking that this surgery would solve all my problems and I’ve come to the realization that I have to work on me too. Nothing will ever be perfect but hopefully it will get better.

            I have a meeting with  my surgeon this will be my 5^th visit. The visits usually consist of the same thing. My weight is taken and they tell me that they are gathering things to send out which has been the last five months.  People are telling me that I look good but. As flattering as it is I’ve only lost 5 pounds and my clothes are still tighter as ever. I’m hopping to lose some more before my next visit with the surgeon. Before when I was pre op cloud 9, I had put my life on hold until after the surgery, I’ve started living again going out with friends and buying clothes getting my nails done and wearing make up . As silly as it sounds the surgery is no longer an obsession and the months have been going by quickly. I’ve been given a unconfirmed date for a surgery in May/June which seems like forever but in a way is right around the corner. I’m going broke paying for 2 insurances but I really want this surgery. You see I’m covered by my work and I also have an individual policy. The work insurance was a must and doesn’t cover the surgery and the individual policy covers. Anywhoo I’ll be updating after my visit with the surgeon.

With a possible surgery date coming closer I thought I’d do the famous “List” of my 10 fears of having surgery. 1 being my biggest fear.
10.Not dressing like a skank once I lose weight. I can remember saying (if I had a body like that,I'd walk around naked)

8. Not recognizing myself in the mirror

7  Losing my boobs.

6. Dumping

5. Losing too much weight 
4. Not losing enough weight

3. Saggy Skin Needing Plastics

2. Complications

1. Dying