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Hi friends :-)  I am a single mom of 4 really great kids (11, 14, 17 and 20).  Taking care of them is a huge job, but this past year - I made the choice to finally begin my journey to a healthier me.  I just want to add that all of you continue to make my journey easier and fun!  Keep Posting.

KimZ's Blog



3 Week Stall...UUGGHHH!
on November 22, 2008 11:41 pm
11/22/2008

I havent blogged in a couple of months - but then again life seeems to be moving at warp speed these days.  August, September and October were slower months for weight loss - but still loosing pounds and inches (about 10 pounds per month and as many inches).

Since 10/27 I have been stalled - up and down the same 3 pounds and its killing me.  Since I have been home again and not flying, I have increased my exercise 3 fold.  Somedays actually going to the gym 3 times a day.  I also started counting calories which was probably not a good idea as I never did before and was doing just fine.

In mid Oct - I took Stella and Nick over to London, Cork (Ireland) and Cardiff (Wales).  We toured their university (they will attend next year) and did some site seeing along the way.  I have posted some new pics from the trip.  It was great to be back across the pond - almost feels like home every time I go over.  I did pretty well while I was there- finding greek yogurt and cheese sticks.  As well as sticking to grilled meats and veggies.  I only had 1/2 pint in 2 weeks which was tasted good - but not worth the empty calories.

I should be back to traveling on 12/1 and will really miss the kids again when I go.  Still not sure where I will end up - could be Madison, WI or Charleston, SC.  If Im lucky it will be Wilmington or NYC - crossing my fingers for one of those assignments.

Stella is doing so much better.  She is running with me now 3 - 4 times a week.  YES I SAID RUNNING!!!   Who would have thought that even 6 months ago - I was almost 300 pounds and she was in so much pain in a wheelchair unable to stand or walk or anything  - to running.  She is also taking MMA classes and is just getting stronger both emotionally and physically day by day.  These are great things.

I saw Dr. Lam this week to review my Plastics wants and needs.  Although I have about 25 more pounds to loose - he said its never too early to start the insurance process as it can take several months.  I want to see one more surgeon before I fully decide.

Life is well - kids are good and the economy sucks!!  Here's hopin for at least 12 of those 25 pounds gone before Christmas.

More to come...

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Summer of Fun...
on August 2, 2008 7:19 am
August 2, 2008

Ok I had to post a couple more things since I am catching up.  Indeed work is crazy busy and kids are equally as busy - but I decided a couple of weekends ago to surprise Stella and Nick with an impromptu cruise to the Bahamas.  We had never been there and Frankie and Sammy went to Camp Buskey for a couple of weeks - so why not.

I drove the three of us from Philly to Atlanta and worked 3 days and then actually took 2 days off.  Nick knew what we were doing - but Stella did not.  She was grumpy.  We then drove to Cape Canaveral and got on the boat.  Stella's attitude completely changed when she saw the boat.  It was only a 4 day cruise - but man it was fun!! 

The first afternoon after we set sail - I set out to locate the running track and the gym.  I ran 5 miles in the misty but beautiful sunset rain on the very top deck of the boat.  It felt glorious!!  I then went to find the gym thinking it would be like a hotel gym with one or 2 treadmills  maybe.  To my surprise - it was incredible!!  The onboard gym was actually nicer than the Planet Fitness I go to.  There were 30 eliptical, 30 treadmills, freeweights, machines, trainers - OMG I was in heaven!!  I didnt work out that night as I had just run - but am proud to say that every morning of the cruise I was in that gym at 5:30 and did my 2 hours!! 

The 3 of us were paired with a single dad and his two younger daughters (ages 7 and 10).  We spent quite a bit of time with them at the rest of the cruise.  On the day we docked at Nassau - I had signed us up to Swim with the Dolphins.  Guess what - in public in a bathing suit - life vest fit - I was not self conscience at all.  It was so kewl!!

We had great fun and it was weird not to feel restricted because of my weight.  I ate only what I was supposed to - I did not cheat.  I only drank one drink on the last day (it was hot in the sun).  I will try to post some pictures when I get them.

Life is changing as I get smaller - its weird but I am really seeing what fun things I have missed during my past life when I was so big.

More to come....
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Catching Up....Late Summer 08
on August 2, 2008 7:06 am

August 2, 2008

I realized that I had not posted in a while and so here I am again.  The past couple of months have been crazy busy.  I have bascially come back to a typical 'Kim' routine (pre-Stella incident and pre-surgery) but now I have had to build in time for Stella's doc appointments and my gym time - so I am busier than ever.  (Hoping this makes sense).

I am working with 2 clients at the same time - one allows me to work from whatever location I choose which is great!  The other needs me at their location in Atlanta 4 days a week. The fulltime travel is a bit much getting used to again - but I am managing.  I have made some awesome friends there (other project mates from Salt Lake, NYC and of all places Little Rock) and it is those friends that keep me sane while I am working.  I found an apartment there very close to the Planet Fitness and so I am able to make it to the gym every morning at 4:30am for 2 hours before I work.

My nanny is helping out at the house with the kids and without her I would not be able to manage my schedule at all.  Kids are now basically calling her Grandma and to be honest I refer to her as my Mom most of the time.  She has been such a dear friend for so many years - I shouldnt even be calling her my nanny anymore.

Stella is going back downhill physically.  After the 3 hip surgeries and 7 blood transfusions earlier this year - yes out of the wheelchair - but her osteomalascia is getting worse.  She is literally a walking mess.  Her bone quality is so bad that at anytime they could break.  She is back to using the walker a bit and almost asked for a wheelchair last week.  One more coming appointment this week with a new medical endocrinologist to decide on which bone hardening drug will help - but even after that decision - how long will these drugs take and can we get them into her system before another bone break.

Her spirits are good.  Together since April she and I have completed the timeline of detail for the attorney.  The court cases against the monsters that did this to her will be unbelievably hard on all of us - not just her - but we are as ready as we can be.

I am still following the rules, still loosing weight every week, still going to the gym every day, still working my  butt off.  I feel good, knee is giving me a  bit of trouble - but no pain no.....the ortho is on board with my weight loss.  He says that the knees needs replacing anyway and as long as I can manage the pain - keep up the good work with the exercise and weight loss and we will replace it when I am ready.

Ok this is long enough - more to come.

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Month 7
on August 2, 2008 7:02 am

July 12, 2008

Keeping busy and posting this late.  I knew at some point I would even out to a realistic level.  At least I have not stopped.  I am weight training 5 times a week and cardio 7 days.  I am feeling great and keeping positive.

Here are my results this month:


                                Inches Lost                   Pounds Lost
Pre-Surgery                                                          18.8

1st Month (1/11/08)           28.75                              21.4

2nd Month (2/11/08)          14.00                              13.4

3rd Month (3/11/08)          17.75                              15.8

4th Month (4/11/08)          22.00                             12.2

5th Month (5/11/08)          15.00                              14.6

6th Month (6/12/08)          16.75                              13.0

7th Month (7/11/08)            7.5                               12.2

TOTALS                        121.75 Inches Lost             121.0 Pounds Lost     

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Crossing over to the Other Side
on August 2, 2008 6:56 am
06/28/2008

Turning one year older this week  - I did a bit of reflecting over the past year and beyond actually.  I was remembering as a 13, 14, 15 yr old kid the frustration in my mother as she could only buy clothes that fit me from the Sears and Roebuck or JC Penney Catalogs.  Occassionally on 'special occassions' we would go to the Lane Bryant (at that time it was the only retail store available for larger sizes), but it was oh so expensive.

I know alot of the ladies post about how happy they are to shop - but I am just not a shopper and I cant justify spending much now as the sizes of my clothes continue to drop.  Safety Pins continue to be a staple in my wardrobe. So, yesterday I went in search of a pair of dress pants as I am growing tired of pinned skirts for work.  I went into the local Fashion Bug and immediately gravitated to my 'comfort zone' side, but I realized that the clothes on that side were now all too big for me, so I asked the clerk for some help.

After I explained the problem , she just kept raving about how well I am doing and how proud of myself I could be, but actually I was feeling a little nervous about even being in the other side of the store.  It was very foreign to me - I mean after all this is where my daughter shops for her clothes.  I found the pants I was looking for size 14 and a nice blouse and some new work out pants.  All I could think about on the drive back home was - a year older and I'm smaller now than I have been in over 34 years.  

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My Story

My story is not much different than anyone elses.   As soon as the puberty fairy bit me about age 13 - I 'blossomed'.  By the time I was 16 I was 210 and hit 240 when I graduated from high school (in 1979).  I have 2 brothers who both also blossomed from early teens.  My mom has always fluctuated from 180 - 200 her whole life - but not anything like myself or my brothers.  My father well he has always been a very fit and trim man.  So no one really knows where we got our 'fluff'.  (Could it be the lifestyle of the 60's and 70's where our main course was always wrapped in Burger King wrappers or came in a pizza box - and ALWAYS served with a few glasses of soda??? - I can't ever remember a meal growing up sitting around a kitchen table with vegetables or milk).

So off to college I went.  The first year - I put on the traditional 'freshman 20' and so it was.  My second year - I found a new group of friends - and spent the entire year drinking my meals.  My grades never faltered - but I dont think I was sober more than 10% of the time.  During this year - I signed up at a local gym and lost 100 pounds in 6 months.  But it was not done the right way.  I lost it because all I did was drink alcohol - did not eat a thing and went to the gym for 2 hours every day.

At the end of that year - I no longer found the value in college and didnt like the image in the mirror.  My father was an alcoholic and I was headed straight down that road.  I knew then that only I could make a difference in myself.  So I left school with my new body and a new outlook.  But I didnt really know how to eat healthy - so I winged it.  I can say - out on my own at age 20 - it was difficult - but I was learning.  I only gained about 40 of it back and hoovered between 190 and 200.  A few years later I met my now ex husband and married and had our first child.  The pregnancy was difficult and I gained 75 pounds before giving birth.  My new daughter was beautiful - and I concentrated on her - but lost sight of what I had become physically and so the weight stayed.

3 years later I gave birth to my second child.  During that pregnancy I gained 20 more pounds - but then lost it afterwards - so I stayed back at 275.   Life now seemed to be headed in the right direction.  2 kids, husband with a corporate job and my own career going well.  About 2 years went by and I decided to get some of the weight back off.  Daily exercise and cutting back on my meals again.  Within 6 months I lost 60 pounds and was feeling great.  One morning I was up in the living room exercising along with Susan Powder (Im sure some of you will recognize the name) and I fainted dead away on the floor.  Hours later after a trip to the doc - I was given the happy news that baby #3 was on his way.

My third pregnancy was a doosy.  Starting at 215 and in my best physcial shape in years - I thought it would be ok - but it wasnt.  I was riddled with problems that kept me bed ridden and so the pounds came packing back on.  By the time I gave birth I was back up to 290.     Now 3 kids all under 6 and a husband that was traveling a bit - I had to quit my job to stay home (the day care was killer).  No big deal - because it afforded me the opportunity to exercise again.  I was able to get  50 pounds off - but other things in my life were keeping my spirits down.  My husband was changing - and I could not put my hand on it.

We relocated from Southertier of NYS to Houston Texas and I thought the change of atmosphere would bring things back to center - it did not.  One thing about Texas - its true everything is big!  So being a larger woman - I fit right in with these folks.  There were the BBQs, the cook offs, the eating out every night - so much food and drink.  About a year after moving to Houston - I was bitten by the pregnancy bug again.  I delivered my 4th child at a hefty 310 and had some lingering issues.  Within a couple of months I dropped 40 pounds and there I sat at 280 pretty much all the time.

With 4 really great kids - I thought now I could finally concentrate on getting myself healthy.  I took steps to not get pregnant again - but my husband was getting worse.  I tried to rationalize his behavior changes - he wasnt drinking, he wasnt gambling, he wasnt using drugs - but there were some pretty severe issues going on.  It all came to a head as he attempted suicide one afternoon in our back yard (by throwing a rope over the swingset).  His issues were mental illness.  I supported him - but after a few years - he turned his aggressions against the kids.  We almost lost 3 of the 4 kids in separate incidents over a 6 month period.  My hands were full with 4 kids, a fulltime job and babysitting a grown man.  I made the choice - my children over my marriage and so I packed up the kids with no money and all I could pack into our car and I filed for divorce and took them to the only safe place I knew of - back to upstate NY to my parents home.

Huge huge huge decision - but definately the right one.  That was 11 years ago.  We stayed only a month at my parents and I rented my first house and within 6 months purchased it.  6 months later I started my own computer business and have not looked back since.   Being a college drop out - I have strived to work even harder to keep my business sucessful and having my own business afforded me to make my own schedule to raise the kids on my own.  I hoovered at 280 through this entire period.

My ex-husband - although awarded joint custody - has never ever scheduled a visitation with his kids.  He has never visited nor called.  He has since remarried to a woman without kids.  This is another chapter of my life - and I wont go into anymore detail - but to say that I have done just fine playing the role of mommy and daddy 24/7/ 365.  My kids are my life and I do not regret one single moment with them.

5 years ago I was diagnosed with High Blood Pressure.  I had alwayes kept very active - actually using the stationary bike 5 times a week and running and keeping up with the kids - but my blood pressure was a problem.  With the right medication - I was better.  Then, one day the right knee crumbled under me - severe arthritis.  I was bone on bone and they did a sugery to rebuild - but I did not want a replacement yet.  I knew that my 280 frame was the primary cause - but I couldnt seem to get the weight off.  I instead took the chemical route - and added arthritis med to my daily blood pressure meds.

With business doing well - and the kids growing like weeds - I was ready to send my oldest off to college in the late summer of 2006.  She opted for a local (to Philly) college which made us all breath a little easier.  5 weeks into her first semester I fell at home and broke my left ankle in 4 places ( it was a mess!).  7 days later a horrifying incident took my daughter from us.  (This is not the forum to go into much more detail - but write to me if you would like).  My 300 pound body was on one leg (the bad knee) for 3 months.  During that time I was consumed with grief and stress over my daughter.  My weight ballooned even more.  In early December I was out of the hard casts and into the air cast and began to learn to walk again.  It was slow going - and my weight did not help.

Through some very wonderful people and an overzelous FBI agent - we were able to rescue my daughter on February 16th, 2007.  Even now as I write these words - the tears are filling my eyes.  She was home - but with many challenges.  In the 4 months that she was captive - these monsters hurt her severely physically, psychologially and emotionally.  It took almost a month for her to understand her name and where she was again.  She had lost quite a deal of her body mass and she was in a wheelchair - unable to walk.  We are coming up on a year since her rescue.  She is doing so remarkabally well!!   The psych doctors help her every week and she is doing so well (back to her old self for the most part).  Physically is a different story.  The drugs that had been injected into her body created a condition called AVN (avascular necrosis or bone death) which had affected both of her hips and pelvis.  There is good news - as the top surgeon in the country (at Wake Forest University Medical Center) has agreed to perform a very progressive surgery called Hip Resurfacing.  She will walk again!!!!  And she will resume a normal life again.

During this year of her recovery - my weight kept ballooning.  After attending a birthday party for a very good friend of mine - I was sent the pictures.  One look and I was horrified!  In October I began to look into WLS only to learn that many people 100 pounds lighter than me have this proceedure.  At my first session - I weighed in at 342!!  I interviewed several Bariatric Surgeons and Hospital programs in the Philly area before deciding on Barix Clinics in Langhorne, PA.  I had my surgery on 12/11 and weighed in at 323 the morning of my surgery.

Now as I write this - I am 7 1/2 weeks out - lost 55 pounds and a couple of dress sizes.   I continue to loose and have never felt healthier in my life.  I have my wonderful support system of my 4 really really great kids!  Even my daughter who was at my side in her wheelchair.  We chuckled the day of my surgery when I wheeled her in with my bags in her lap to check in for surgery and they looked at her 105 pound frame and then me.  When the weather is good - I take my baby girl (19 yrs old) in her wheel chair and we go walking (well she rides).  Life is good.  Her first surgery is less than a week away and the other one will be in April.  Our goal is to walk the 5K in July of this year.  It will be tearful day when the two of us walk across the finish line hand in hand - she on two legs and me much lighter.  Thanks for reading my story.

 


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