Ok, so now it's Wednesday night.  I called the insurance company today and they are still reviewing my case.  They said that it takes up to 15 business days which would make it a week from Friday until I know.  Hopefully that is the latest.  I go to California next week.  Wouldn't that be cool if I received an approval in the same place where I found out last time that I couldn't have the surgery because I was pregnant???  That is what I am praying for...an approval.  I am so sick of feeling this way.  I saw myself in the mirror and I am like "who is this person?"  -- I am starting another diet to see what I can do.  I am pledging to drink water constantly through the day (I only had one diet coke today) and today I have eaten:
2 Slim Fast drinks
1 yogurt
1 can of soup
1 piece of pizza (ya, I know..)
2 glasses of water
1 diet coke
2 coffees with no sugar or milk

That's not too bad....I even saw cookies in the cabinet but didn't go there.  I am so mad at myself for my lack of discipline and ability to lose this weight on my own. I am going to use this anger every time I want to eat something bad.  I want to be healthy again.  I haven't been healthy in years and now its getting worse.  I don't want to be old before my time.  I want some energy and be able to live/enjoy life the way I am suppose to.  Keep praying and keep losing out there.  God bless you!

Ok, so it's Sunday night and I am having the hardest time being patient and waiting to hear back.  All I want to do is sleep the time away  but that is pretty hard with three kiddo's and a hubby.  I am going to have such a hard time at work this week concentrating on all of the things I have to get done.  I am thinking though that once I hear back and if I am approved, I will start to order the protein shakes and vitamins.  I'm also going to make sure that I keep a list of all the recommended items that I have read about in these pages.  I am being very selective about the blogs that I read.  I do not want to know how to cheat or what I can try even though you're not suppose to.  I don't want to read about people who don't exercise and wonder why they are not losing weight like they should.  I want to do this right.  I read someone who said that she doesn't think of food as a pleasure but only as fuel.  She still eats food that doesn't have a lot of "taste" to it and is very regimented about when she eats.  I want to do that.  I don't want to test my boundries.  I hope that I am like a lot of people whose taste buds become very sharp and things taste "weird"  --- i remember how that was during my pregnancy and I tasted every chemical in every food and drink.  It made me eat so good and healthy.  That is what I want. 

I am still praying that this happens!

On a different note, chicky do who thought I was cheating with her husband responded to our emails with an apology.  I hope she finds peace with her situation but she really needs to be careful about contacting people through Facebook with something so personal.  Oh well....

Ok, so say some prayers and God Bless you all!

Well we have had some drama over the last day or so.  It seems someone thinks that I am having an affair with their husband and they have been contacting my husband and my mom-in-law on Facebook to let them know!    I received an email through Facebook last month that was kinda of threatening and made those accusations but I thought it was a joke or someone just being weird.  I reported it to Facebook and didn't think a thing of it.  Then yesterday my mom-in-law calls me to tell me that she received an email asking about me or a person who has the same name.  The only thing is the person she is referencing works for "oaks at Limestone"  I googled the name and it's an old folks home in GA???? 

So then I realized that my hubby probably hasn't been looking at Facebook in months and maybe this insane person was emailing him too.  Sure enough there were 4 emails over the last two months from this chick!    I am kinda worried b/c this persons emails are very disjointed and a bit crazy.     I looked up her profile and she's in a pic with what looks like her daughter.  She seems to have normal friends and looks to be upper middle class.  I have no idea who this person is but it concerns me cause she mentions our home town and asked my husband to meet her for coffee???   So then I started to worry that she contacted all my friends and family and co-workers saying that I was having an affair.   Little does she know that I am the last person that would be cheating.  I mean, has she seen me???????  Hello!!!  I am not exactly a seductress at morbidly obese.  Knowing my luck, someone probably stole my identity and is wreaking havic out there. 

my daughter just called me a weirdo.    I think she is crazy herself  

The wait begins!  I am so excited.  I finally heard back that they sent the paperwork over yesterday.  It has been almost three years to the day since I went this process last!  OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!  I cannot wait to hear back.  I hope I get approval --- If I do get approval then the next hurdle will be costs. 
 
I do have flexible spending and I upped how much is taken out for this year.  The nice thing about my company is that they give it to you upfront and you don't have to wait. 
I also have over three weeks of vacation and I work from home.  Soooo....I am thinking 1 1/2 weeks off of work and two weeks at home working with no travel.  That should get me through the recovery part. 

I remember last time when I heard I was approved I was in the car in New Orleans going over the bridge on Lake Ponchartrain.  I remember it was a partly cloudy day and the lake was a bit rough but I was so excited to hear that I had been approved.  It was wonderful.  Well at least this time I can't get preggers. 
 
Maybe, just maybe it will finally happen. 

I AM SO READY FOR THIS TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Say some prayers....    God bless.