MY NAME IS KRISTEN. I AM 36 YEARS OLD, MARRIED, WITH THREE CHILREN (17,15, AND 4). I HAVE NOT BEEN OVERWEIGHT MY WHOLE LIFE. I ALWAYS HAD ISSUES WITH WEIGHT BECAUSE MY MOTHER WAS VERY OVERWEIGHT. I AM 5'8" AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A BIG GIRL. I WAS ALWAYS ONE OF THE TALLEST OF MY AGE. I STARTED TO GAIN WEIGHT AS A TEENAGER. I NEVER HIT 200 UNTIL MY MID TWENTIES. NOW, I CANT BELEIVE THAT I ACTUALLY WISH I WAS 200, OR EVEN 250!!!! MY MOTHER HAS RNY ABOUT 5 YRS AGO AND HAS LOST ALOT OF WEIGHT. SHE HAD COMPLICATIONS WITH HER INCISION, BECAUSE IT WAS "OPEN". BUT EVERYTHING ELSE HAS BEEN OK. I DONT WANT TO WAIT UNTIL I AM 50 TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE MY MOTHER DID. I HAVE TOO MUCH THAT I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE. IT IS SO FRUSTRATING THAT ALMOST EVERY WAKING MOMENT I AM CONSUMED WITH THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW MUCH I DONT WANT TO BE OVERWEIGHT, AND HOW MUCH I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT, YET I CONTINUE TO EAT THE WAY I DO. I GUESS IT IS LIKE A PERSON ON DRUGS ; THEY WISH THEY COULD STOP, BUT THEY CANT. MY HUSBAND IS VERY SCEPTICAL  ABOUT ME HAVING THIS SURGERY. HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE RISKS. I HAVE GONE BACK AND FORTH WITH HIM ABOUT IT. I FINALLY TOLD HIM THAT IT IS MY BODY AND I AM DOING IT FOR MYSELF. I  SAID "WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, DIVORCE ME?" I HAVE MY MIND MADE UP. HOPEFULLY HE WILL UNDERSTAND ONE DAY. IT IS HARD FOR SOMEONE WITHOUT A WEIGHT PROBLEM TO UNDERSTAND WHY WE JUST CANT "EAT LESS, OR EXERCISE MORE". IT ALL SOUNDS  REAL SIMPLE. BUT IF IT WAS, I  WOULDNT BE THIS WAY. I AM STARTING THE JOURNEY TO A NEW ME ON JULY 7TH WHEN I GO FOR MY SEMINAR. I CANT WAIT  TO BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON LIFE AND EAT TO LIVE, NOT LIVE TO EAT. TO FIT IN SEATS COMFORTABLY, TO SHOP FOR CLOTHES THAT I LIKE NOT JUST CLOTHES THAT FIT. TO NOT HEAR, YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE. TO NOT ALWAYS WORRY WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN I WALK PAST THEM, OR FEEL LIKE I AM TAKING UP THE WHOLE HALLWAY.  TO GET ON MY KNEES TO PLAY WITH MY SON AND GET BACK UP WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE AN EIGHTY YR OLD WOMAN. MOST OF ALL I JUST WANT TO LIVE A HAPPY HEALTHY LIFE, WITH MY FAMILY. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR MY CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN.