Hello everyone! I'm home and everything as uneventful as hoped.  My surgery started on time, lasted a little over an hour.  I also had my gallbladder removed since I has stones.  I must admit that it was much harder that I anticipated.  The morphine they gave me after the surgery made me sooooooooo nauseous! That was the worse part.  Not a great deal of pain, I was uncomfortable more that anything.  It felt like I had a big rock in my stomach.  But I am home now and all is good.  I'm going to go and try to eat a protein shake.  I haven't eaten anything since surgery and frankly the thought of it sounds nasty.  But I will not be in good shape if I don't get more then water in.  Thanks for all of the thoughts and support. 

Well, I really thought that by this point I would have a date...but no.  It has been 6 weeks and 4 days since I finished all of my lab work.  While I am frustrated I have decided to stop worrying about it.  It will happen when it needs to happen.  My stressing over it will not make the phone ring faster.  In the meantime I find myself in strange funk.  I posted last night that I had been having some emotional/mental malfunctions and I think it's from going off my Birth Control (Yasmin).  I feel better today, so I hope things keep going that way.  Life just gets hard some times.  This is one of those times.  I feel like I am in limbo.  I feel like my whole world is revolving around having gastric bypass.  I have started making conscious efforts to get healthy in general.  I stopped drinking soda.  I drink tons of water.  I take my vitamins religiously.  I went to my psychiatrist and got stable on medication.  I had moles looked at that were starting to look weird.  I started working out 5 days a week for 30-45 minutes.  Dang it, I even wear sunscreen.  These are good, no GREAT things, regardless if I have the surgery or not.  The one thing I haven't worked in is my eating.  I think I have the last supper syndrome i read about in WLS for Dummies.  I think that is why I haven't lost anymore weight.  I have maintained, I am happy to report.  I guess I am doing better then I thought I was.  It's just been a tough weekend.  I didn't work out last night so I only worked out 4 days last week and I didn't work out today.  So tomorrow, I am starting over.  I have to stop this all or nothing attitude.  I can't let myself feel like a failure because I had a bad weekend.  I am starting to realize that I am more bipolar then i thought.  My psych diagnosed me as Bipolar II.  I googled it and BINGO that is me.  I work in a psych office and I have am around people with severe Bipolar all the time.  I was not like these patients.  I didn't have the manic stages, but more of the depression. But I was reading about Bipolar II (link: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-bipolar-ii.htm)  and it really made sense.  The patients I work with mostly have Type I Bipolar.  This type has manic episodes.  Bipolar II has hypo manic states which may experience increased anxiety, sleeplessness, good mood, or irritability.  Patients may find themselves extremely productive and happy.  This is usually followed by a low, depressed state.  This has been my life for quite a while.  I just didn't put two and two together.  I have been doing really well and I have not had a depressed episode in a while.  I guess I am due for one.  It is scary to think that this is something I am going to have to deal with for the rest of my life.  Thank God we live in a time where medical science has made it possible to treat this type of disorder effectively.  With medication and a good Psych, I can lead a happy and normal life.  It also helps to have a supportive hubby and family.  Well, I have been all over the board on this one.  I am not really writing this for other people to see, but for myself to remember this journey.

So earlier this week, I got a call from Debbie, the gastric bypass case worker at Kaiser and she said that my file was being "pended" because my lame psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis that required a letter from my psych.  I had an appt already scheduled for June but that was way to far off to wait.  I called the office tons of times, talked to his nurse, and emailed my doctor.  Well, his nurse called me this afternoon and the doctor wrote my letter! I was in his office 20 minutes after the call.  I then hand delivered the letter to Debbie.  So offically I have everything in to complete my file. Now I just have to wait for the call from Dr. Suh's office! One step closer!

Still no news from Kaiser or Dr. Suh's office.  Thursday will be 3 weeks.  We were told not to call but I think I might tomorrow.  This waiting is driving me nuts! So last week, I worked out 5 day!! Just like I said I would.  That last night I didn't want to work out but I had made a promise to myself that I would do it, so I did.  Last week I took 4 walks (3 really hard ones pushing a stroller with a 50 lb kid and a 30 lb kid! up hills!) and I did a walk away the pounds video but I used my MP3 instead of listening to the music and it was soooo much better.  I created a playlist for that workout.  It worked out great! I am very proud of myself.  I don't usually follow through with things, but something in me has changed.  I want this so bad and I really am trying to make the lifestyle changes.  I am not working to hard on the eating because I know that will change with the help of the surgery, but the other stuff, like exercising, not snacking, and not eating and drinking together need a little practice.  This week is NO SNACKING! I forgot about this yesterday and today.  I was still focused on the exercise.  So starting tomorrow, 3 meals, no snacking.  Wish me luck!

May 3- May 9: Exercise!! Exercise!! Exercise!! Exercise 45 minutes 5 times a day. No exceptions! Exercise, outside of the pouch, is my greatest tool for long term weight loss and maintenance.  Types of Exercise I will do: Tae-bo, Walking and Yoga (or a 45 minute combination of them)                                                                                                                                           May 10-May 16: No snacking and continue to exercise. Snacking is not suggested after surgery as a way to limit the amount of calories I eat each day. I love to snack so this is going to be a hard one for me. I will need to come up with a list of things to do instead of eating to help me with this one. I will also re-evaluate my work out routine and see what worked, what didn’t and where I can improve.  (There is a patient seminar this week, maybe I’ll be able to go!!)                                      May 17- 23: No eating and drinking at the same time and no straws. This one is going to be very hard but from all of my research, I have found that it is very important. Drinking while eating not only makes me fill up faster, but it creates a “soup” in my pouch and moves the food out faster. The pouch needs to stay filled for as long as possible with lean protein and veggies (yuck!) and water doesn’t help. Straws let air into your pouch and for me personally, allow me to gulp water. So bye bye straws!