PET RULES

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print
in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in
the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure
your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they
sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched
out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails
straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize
space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is
not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --
canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!


To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who
is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because
they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train.

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

And finally,

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

Cwack is Whack!!!

I'm doing the HAPPY HAPPY dance!!  I tried on a pair of size 16's today and they fit!!!!!!!!!!!  Okay they are the gloria vanderbuilt brand and a little stretchy, but Woah!!!  I didn't even have to suck all the air out of my torso to get the buttoned, my circulation was not cut off and they didn't look like spandex!  I think that qualifies as a good fit.  I was a 24/26 just a few short months ago.  I was floored.  I have lost 69 pounds... 70 here I come!!  

Woah!  It has rellt been a while since I posted.  I am doing pretty good.  I am weighing at 220 to 222 for the past 4 or 5 days now.  Can't seem to get rid of that 2 pounds.  I hope to be under 200 by the end of the month.  I have started to go back to the gym.  It is really no fun at all, but I'm doing it.  I have no real side effects.  But I am losing my hair by the fistful.  They said it would happen, but good grief!!  I feel like I am losing clumps everyday.  I want to just vaccum my head after the shower.  That is my big annoyance at the moment.  Everything else is going fine.  I'm eating okay.  I found that I like the gatorade rain flavors.  They are less concentrated than the regular gatorade.  They taste pretty good to me.  I had my 3 month labs.  Everything is good so far.  I go in agian at 6 months out to check agian.  

Well, nothing alse really to report.  Oh, I decided to put in for the new job.  I interview on wednesday.  We'll see what happens.