Surgery date of Sept 11, 2006
Hobbies: Horseback riding, landscaping
Concerns: That THIS won't work for me like everything else I've ever tried. I am your classic Yo-Yo dieter. 50 lbs down 60 lbs back etc. I am just praying that this is the answer to my prayers.
One week post-op weight-266
Five weeks post-op (first fill)-262.7
(I'm changing to dates from now on...I can't remember how many weeks it's been)
Dec. 5th 2006-247.2
Dec. 26, 2006-245.2
Jan. 16, 2007-241.2
Jan. 23, 2007-239.9
Jan. 30, 2007-241.9
Feb. 2, 2007-Fill/Weight 241.5
Mar. 2, 2007-233.5
Mar. 16, 2007-231
May 6, 2007-224.7
May 10, 2007-222
July 5-224 (Damn scale!)
July 29-216 (hard week)
August 26- 212
Jan 3, 2008-220
June 2, 2008-233.8
January 5, 2009-254.7
Oct. 20, 2006-First fill 2cc's
Dec. 1, 2006-Second fill (1cc missing, added 3ccs for 4cc total
Jan 5, 2007-1.5 cc fill for total of 5.5cc's
Feb. 2- Filled to a little over 6 cc's
June-Flouro done...didn't add anything. Dr. said it was perfect.
Oct- Flouro done...added 1/4cc
Aug. 30, 2006
I can't believe in less than two weeks I'm going to be banded. For the most part, I am feeling very settled with my decision. I still have times where I wish it didn't have to be this way and I could do this on my own, but I know after 25 years of yo-yo dieting that this is my answer for KEEPING it off. I am so glad I found this board. It has answered so many question for me and helped me
learn what NOT to do as I read about people's experiences. I still worry sometimes about going $19,500 into debt, but I guess it's better than dying and leaving my kids and husband behind. Most of all I want to thank Jesus, my Lord and Savior for leading me in this direction. With HIS help, I know I can do ANYTHING>
Sept. 10th- Tomorrow at 8:00 am I'm to report to surgery. Done with all the pre-op junk. Healthy as a horse except for being too darned fat. Most of my jitters have died down. I know this is going to happen and I am settled with my decision. There is still that "Unknown" factor that is a little unsettling, but I'm ready for this next chapter in my life.
Sept 11th-I will always remember this infamous date in history as the day of my rebirth. Got to the hospital, went through all the preliminaries (johnny, iv started, questions asked over and over and over..lol, surgeon stopped by, anesthesiologist) Some guy came in and looked down my throat, seemed very pleased with what he saw???? Wheeled into surgery after a quick kissy/huggy from dh. I was very relaxed (great meds). Gave me some MORE stuff to relax me (like I wasn't relaxed enough already), put a mask over my face, told me to breath in deeply 5x and then he said "Nighty, night." Woke up in the recovery room at exactly 11:10 (clock on the wall staring me in the face) Nurse asked me about my pain. Rated it a 5 (Really wasn't that bad, but I had to pick a number and I was still pretty groggy) Basically it was just a feeling of pressure on my diaphram. (the dreaded gas!) She gave me a shot of morphine in the IV, left for a little bit, came back and asked again about the pain. It was not different so she gave me another injection. Left for a bit, no different, so she gave me Demerol. Da-Da-Da-DAAAAAAA THAT worked. LOL Wheeled into regular recovery room...asked to get up and go to the bathroom. No dizzyness, peed up a storm. Took a drink of water...no problems. Walked down the hall and back and said I was ready to go home. Left around 1:00 pm...home at 1:30. Simple Pimple.
Very bloated in the evening. Kind of like the Goodyear Blimp's twin. Nasty feeling. Not painful, just uncomfortable to sit. So, I walked, walked, walked...inside, outside...walk, walk, walk. Was feeling better by bedtime. Very stiff around port area. Very much like a severely overworked muscle. Kind of feel like a beached whale in bed. Worst part of the first night was getting up 100Xs to go to the bathroom. Boy, do they pump you full of fluid! Geez!
Sept 12-Feeling pretty good. Most of the bloating gone. Have a funny symptom though...my lymph nodes between my jaw and ear are swollen and sore to the touch. Must be dealing with the incisions or something? Really only discomfort is in the port area. Went down to my mothers and walked around. Probably shouldn't have driven, but it's only 2 miles down a country road. I probably won't do it again for a few days. Bumps were very uncomfortable. I get bored easily and I was antsey to get the heck out of this house. I go outside a lot and walk around my property and surrounding woods. Been beautiful weather to do so. I am so blessed to live in the country surrounded by forest on all sides. My fil owns 1000's of acres with many snowmobile trails through them....one leads 2 miles into the woods to a beautiful pond. Too much of a walk for me right now...but soon. Am getting anxious to feel "normal" again...instead of "recovering". I'm not a good patient.
Sept 13-Still feeling fine. A lot of swelling has gone down around port area. Still a little bloated. When i first get up in the morning it feels like a have a huge gas bubble in my stomach that travels from my "big" stomach up through the stoma (a little uncomfortable) into my "little" stomach. Weird feeling. Everything tastes like crap. It tastes bitter to me. My beloved coffee is bitter, Crystal light is bitter, SF pudding is bitter, SF yogurt is bitter. The only thing i have enjoyed so far is cream of mushroom soup made with water. Can't tolerate that friggin broth! YUCK. I'd take plain water over that mess. (I'm a little testy feeling today) I'm more than ready to get back to life and stop thinking about what I'm feeling and what it means. The most frustrating thing about all of this is the inablility to bend over and pick things up. I hate asking people to get stuff for me. Oh well, if that 's all I have to complain about I'm very blessed.
Sept 14-Big changes from yesterday. I have actually experienced a little hunger. Made my own broth and that is much more easily tolerated Alot of bloating has gone...feeling much more comfy.
Sept 15-Hubby took me to Panera and I had some Broc/cheddar soup....they said I could have creamed soups....and the broc. is VERY cooked and VERY small. Had no problem at all. Tasted divine! Even bought a container of it to take home. Things are beginning to taste more normal. Not so bitter.
Sept 17-Just about 100% now. Have lost 13 lbs since surgery. Yippeeeee! I know it won't continue, but I'll take it while I can.
Sept 18th-One week post op. I can't believe a whole week has gone by. Sometimes I will just be sitting somewhere and it will hit me....Hey! I actually did this! I have a LapBand. I really kind of forget that it's there. That's a good thing, right? I have not had one bit of "buyers remorse". I am so happy I did this and can start on this new journey to being healthy.
Sept 22-I am losing weight to beat the band (no pun intended). I lost 7 lbs pre-op and have lost 12+ since the band. I am still not hungry between meals. I have tried a couple of difficult things like a small piece of chicken and a couple of bites of bread. They don't get stuck, but I can feel a heaviness in my chest area. Like they are just sitting there. Am still praying that I will be one of the lucky one's who don't feel hungry.
Sept 25-Down another 4 lbs. Can't wait to see the 250's again.
Sept 27-Well I spoke too soon, I am back up those 4 lbs. What 's with that? I have been in a major funk today....I need to kill my scales and stop weighing. It is killing my self-confidence.
October 2-Well, I definitely am not going to be one of the people that don't ever need a fill. I am STARVING!!! I could eat a buffallo right now. TOM is coming and I know that is part of it, but I binged for the first time yesterday and I can eat any amount, anytime, anywhere, any speed that I want to. THere is NO restriction. I guess I'm just going to have to suck it up and diet like the old days. I still haven't re-lost those 4 lbs. I am just stuck at 266. Didn't even gain anything after I ate everything in sight....just staying right there.
Oct. 10th-Well, TOM is over and I STILL haven't lost any more weight. This is really, really, frustrating! I need a fill NOW! This must be what they call "Bandster Hell" and boy is it appropriately named. I am starving and having to fight for every victory over food.
Oct.12-Called to office to see if I could get in any sooner for a fill. Oct 27th is my fill date. The nurse was so kind and caring....she upped me to Oct 20th. I'll have to hang on until then.
Oct 14-Well, I am feeling much more in control. I have control over my eating now....I wasn't eating tons before, but I think I was starting to pick again. I also signed up for Sparkspeople to keep track of my protein and stuff. Someone told me that I HAD to get in between 60-70 g. protein to see good weight loss AND I have to kick my water up a notch. I am horrible at drinking water.So far it seems to be working.
Oct 15-Yipppeeeee Down 5.5 lbs!!!!! As Rabbit on Winnie the Pooh would say, "It bidged, it badged, it budged!!!" The darned scale actually budged! I am sooooo happpy today.
Oct 16th-Started the dreaded gym today. Lifted weights and rode the elliptical for 15 min. Yuck!
Oct 18th-I can't believe it.....I am back up 3 lbs!!! I always gain weight when I lift weights! SO annoying! Of course it would have to be right before my fill appointment. I'm SURE my dr. is going to be impressed with a 4 lb weight loss in 5 weeks. Sigh....I hate this game so much!
Oct 20th-Had my first fill. Nothing to it. He put in 2cc's in my 10cc Vangard band. We'll see what this does. He said liquids only for 2 days. I hope this helps.
October 22- Last day of liquids. I have been satisfied on just liquids so there must be some sort of restriction there.
October 25-Well, my body is finally giving up the fight....I have lost 7 lbs since my fill. I really am not doing anything different than I was before my fill other than I am satisfied for a longer period of time between meals. I can still eat everything, but not as much. Works for me!
October 27-Early TOM! No wonder I have been craving carbs so much. I have held on and not binged though. I have added those carbs into my 1300 calories for the day and when the cravings stop, I will add the protein back.
October 29- Official weigh in tomorrow. I sure hope that darned water weight is gone by then. I have noticed more "sticking" issues with this fill. I have been tighter since TOM also. I haven't really officially got anything stuck....just pain in my chest and kind of a panicky feeling of it not sliding down. I do not want to experience PBing or sliming. I am beginning to get LOTS of compliments on how I am looking. You can really see it in my face and stomach. DH is always telling me how beautiful I am. Makes me want to ask him if I was butt ugly before I lost weight. lol I am comfortably into size 20 jeans. I bought them a couple of weeks ago because my 22's were too baggie in the butt. The 20's were tight around my middle, but I figured I would lose some more in a few weeks. They fit great now. I can't wait to be in "normal" sizes. I will never shop at Fashion Bug or Lane Bryant again!!!!
Oct. 30-I have lost 10 LBS. since last monday!!! I am doing a jig! Finally, finally, finally....by body is giving up the fat. I am holding myself to NOT stepping on the scales until next monday. My goal is to be in the 240's by next week. Up to 25 min on the eliptical and still doing the strength training.
Nov.6-Gained a pound this week! Grrrrr...after all that exercising and stuff. I did cheat on Halloween, but not that much! I guess I am going to be one of those two steps down, one step up people. I am up to 30 min. on the eliptical and still doing the strength training. I can feel a huge difference in my strength level and my endurance level. I don't have to breath so hard! lol Oh well, onward and downward I always say...we'll see what this week brings. Oh, and my fill is non-existent now. I am back to being able to eat anything, anytime, any amount, any speed. Have I really lost that much stomach fat?
Nov 21- Haven't posted in a while. About the same old ,same old. Still losing. I've lost about 12 lbs since my fill on Oct 20th. My next fill is scheduled for Dec 1 but I am really wondering if I should have it. I do have some restriction even though I'm doing a lot of it on my own. If I eat too fast or don't chew well enough I get that stuck feeling. NOT PLEASANT! I really don't want to be so tight that I have trouble all the time. I guess as long as I'm losing at a good rate I should hold off. I guess I'll decide when that day comes. Bought some 18W's pants the other day. They weren't even tight! I guess the gym is doing something afterall! At least I don't feel like I'm the fattest thing alive when I get dressed up anymore. I know I have a long ways to go, but at least I feel pretty. Hopefully the next time I post I will be in the 240's. Boy does my scale HATE to drop down into the next catagory of 40's!
Dec. 5, 2007
I opted for the fill. He said there was still quite a bit of air in there and he removed that and added 2 cc's. I had lost some of the last fill so that 2cc's brought me up to 3ccs. We'll see how this works.
Dec. 9-I don't think I have as much restriction as I did before the fill. I think when he took that air out, he took out a good bit of the restriction I was feeling. Oh well, I am down another 3 lbs, so that's a good thing.
Dec. 29th-Well, it's been a while. Got caught up in the Christmas "spirit" and have been eating like a pig. Good news is I haven't GAINED anything, but I havn't lost anything either. I really think I will have a tweak of a fill on the 5th of January. I think all that air he took out messed with my restriction. It has been really hard these past few days trying to get back in the groove. I find myself thinking about sweets again and wanting the junk food instead of the good protein. And so it goes on.....
Jan. 5, 2007
Well, it's a new year...hopefully it will be the year of the "new" me. I went for my 3rd fill today. I guess I misunderstood him about how much fill I had. I received 2ccs the first time...then on the second fill he told me that about 1cc was gone and that he added another 2ccs which in my mind brought me up to 3ccs because of the 1cc I had lost....wrong. He replaced the 1cc AND added the 2ccs. Today he added another 1.5ccs for a total of 5.5ccs. He said to really be careful because I am getting close to that "sweet spot" and he doesn't want me to have any trouble. I definitely feel something but that could just be the initial swelling from the fill. I am hoping this will help with the between meal hunger. I am getting back on track and will hopefully start losing again. 2.5 lbs in 4 weeks is not my idea of GOOD weight loss.
Jan. 16, 2007-Well, I am going out on a limb and saying, "I am at my SWEET SPOT!" Yipppeee...it is great! I get full on a small amount of food and find myself not even thinking about food for 4 or more hours! I never believed I would be able to say that....ever. I am just praying that it stays and doesn't disappear like so many people talk about. I guess it doesn't "disappear", but your stomach shrinks from weightloss and then you need more fill. Maybe I've lost all the fat on my stomach and it will just stay like this! LOL..positive thinking going on here. To any reading...Patience IS the key to this LapBand thing. It doesn't automatically happen for most of us, but if you stay with it, it WILL happen.
Jan 30, 2007
Well, same old news. The fill was great for about 2 weeks and then......Very frustrating! It's such a wonderful feeling when you have restriction and it's such a downer when you lose that. It makes me almost panicky. I called the surgeon and had my fill re-scheduled for Feb 2 instead of the 17th. Hopefully this one will last more than 2 weeks. I have even gained a couple of pounds this time! Will I EVER get this thing under control?
Feb. 2, 2007-Had my fill. I now have a little over 6cc's. We'll see how this works for me. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Feb.11th-Well, this morning I weighed in at 236.4!!! That is 5 lbs since my fill last week!!! I LOVE MY BAND....for now. LOL
March 2-After my typical 2 weeks of not losing, I'm seeing the scales move again. I went back to the gym and as always, that helps. I'm going every day except weekends. M,W,F doing weights for 30 min. and elliptical for 25 min. Off days I'm doing 35-40 min of elliptical. Total calorie burn of about 500 cals each day. I got on the scales this morning and I've finally hit the 50 lb mark. Actually I'm at 51 lbs. I'm trying to take advantage of these "good" weeks and not dwell on the weeks I have horrible cravings. Hopefully the exercise will help.
March 16-Had another fill on Friday. Quite tight for now. Easy to make it from one meal to the next. HEAVEN. We'll wait and see how long this one lasts. I've lost a couple of pounds since the fill and am desperately hoping that the medicine they put me on will help with those crazy cravings I'm having for a full two weeks out of every month. They say is severe PMS due to losing weight and loss of estrogen. Weird. All I know is it makes losing weight very difficult when you only lose 2 weeks out of 4. I can't complain though...I'm still going down and not UP! lol
May 7, 2007-Been a while since I posted. I am down to 224.7 as of today. Still playing the down 4 lbs up 2 game. Not a huge weight loss since March, but at least I'm still going DOWN. This last fill lasted about a month or so before it became difficult to make it from one meal to the next. I am thinking of having a tweak this week if the surgeon will let me. He said he didn't want to see me until June, but if I'm not losing any more why wait??? Just went shopping at Fashion Bug and the 18's are too big! I am in their plus size 16's! Woooo-hooooo
May 20....well I saw 222 for a day and now I'm back to 225. Sigh......still playing the game. Can't decide whether to call the surgeon for a fill or if I just need to get my act together and stop cheating. I just get so hungry between meals. It's not like I'm eating bad things at mealtime.....it's after 3:00pm until I go to bed that is just miserable. I just don't want to be too tight. I've read too many horror stories of people that were too tight.
June- Went in for a flouro today because my port has tipped more and the dr. couldn't access it in the office. He added 1/2cc and had me take a sip of that "stuff". Nope, too much...it was backing up into my esophogus (sp?). So he took it back out and said that I was at my perfect spot. After reading about all the trouble people are having with too-tight bands, I'll just suck it up and try to follow the rules better.
June 30- After gaining a few pounds due to stress and overeating (I went back up to 226...I am back down to 220.5. Can't wait to see the "teens". I feel much more in control. I dont' know if him taking the fill out and putting it back in re-distributed the saline or what, but I really feel good with the level of restriction I have right now. Hopefully it will last a long, long time, seeing as I have to have flouro and it's about $900.00 a whack! I really want to reach ONEDERLAND by my one year anniversary, so I gotta get my butt in gear.
July 29-Down to 216 Still doing the "great restriction for 2 weeks, NO restriction for 2 weeks dance". I have about 6 weeks left 'til my one year bandiversary. Unless I have an excellent 6 weeks, I don't think I am going to make onederland by then. I'm still hoping though. At least I am down almost 70 lbs that are staying off.
August 24-Had a pb on the 22nd. A friend took me to Chinese food for my birthday and of course I HAD to try the rice. Bad idea! Had to excuse myself and go throw it up- Nothing violent, but the next day I felt horrible all day...sick to my stomach. Still feeling rotten on my birthday,but added a headache and nausea. Guess it must be the flu. With all the slips and dialations going on I put myself on full liquids. I am also having a funny golfball feeling in my throat at night. No burning or acid...just that funny feeling. I'm scared! I can't lose this band..it would spell the end of weight loss for me and a quick trip back up the scales.
August 27-Called the dr. on Chelle and Sandy's advise. He won't be in until Friday, but his nurse confirmed what Sandy suspects...a small slip. I am continuing the liquids until I find out for sure if this is just gastritis caused by my pb/flu. I am trying to stay calm and not jump to any conclusions, but it's so hard to be faced with damage to your band. My confession for today is the fact that the week before this all happened, I had a major TT (a week long TT) and said, "To hell with it all" and ate as much crap as I could choke down. Definitely a bad binge. I am thinking that this might have been what set all of these events into motion. Take warning from me ........DO NOT OVEREAT THE BAND!!! You will only be very, very sorry.
August 29-Well, I am feeling MUCH, MUCH better. I have slept well the last couple of nights without waking up with the golfball in my throat. I am still adhereing to the liquids with the exception of a few well chewed crackers with Hummus. No solid protein at all. I am just continuing to pray that I caught this soon enough and just giving my band a vacation will allow it to go back to normal. I will NEVER say a bad word about my band again. When faced with the posibility of losing it, or having to have an unfil and start over....NOT FUN! Hopefully I have learned my lesson and will not overeat the band again. Anyone that believes in prayer out there...please pray for me for strength to do what is right and that I haven't damaged my band. There is good news in all of this. The scales had crept back up to 216 after "the binge" and now I am at 212 after 6 days of liquids.
Sept 4-Going in for a Flouro to check my band today at 10:30 am. I am hoping and praying that everything is fine with it. I have learned my lesson and will try to never again eat more than a 1/2-1C of food at a meal again. It's just not worth losing this miracle tool. If any of you are reading this and are "praying" people...say a little prayer for me. Got on the scales today and weighed 208!!! When I saw the "8" I panicked for a sec. because I thought it was going to read 218! LOL EIGHT pounds to ONEDERLAND! I just can't believe it. To never have to say "Two hundred" again....ahhhhh, that will be one of the best days of my life. I sincerely doubt, barring a miracle that I will see it before my anniversary on Sept 11th, but I will be darned close.
Oct. 3rd- Well, I didn't make my 200 lb goal on my bandiversary. I am playing a new game...it's called GAIN weight instead of lose! Grrrr.... I am back up to 214. TOM has come and gone and I am still starving all the time. I am very bubbly feeling in my stomach....I am wondering if I have some acid or gas issues going on. It gives me the feeling like I am hungry all the time. I think I am going to "borrow" one of my husband's Nexium pills and see if I can calm all of that bubbling down. I am determined that the scale is going to start going down again. It is so unnerving to me to see the scale go up. I have lost and gained weight so many times in the past...I really pray that it won't be the same story with the band. :( Called the surgeon's office and they scheduled me for a flouro on the 15th. Only problem is....I'm the tightest in the mornings and I have "first bite syndrome". Last time he tried to give me a fill under flouro it backed up immediately so he wouldn't give me a fill. My appointment is at 7:30 am! THe nurse told me to sip hot coffee all the way in, but now to dare to tell the surgeon she told me to do that! LOL Hopefully it will loosen things up enough for him to allow me a small tweak. I'm not looking for T-I-G-H-T...I'm just looking for a small increase in restriction so I can make it between meals without eating. Right now I am feeling hungry within an hour of eating. :(
Nov. 9, 2007-Had a very small fill a couple of weeks ago. Put me at 7 1/4ccs. Absolutely NO DIFFERENCE. If anything I almost feel like I'm not as tight as I was before. Scales are reading 216 again. Grrrrrrr......I have started buckling down and following the bandster rules again...I just can not fail again. I lost and gained so many times...I guess I just have to get my head around the fact that I am a food addict and no surgery on earth is going to "cure" that. IFood and I will battle until the day I die. Maybe I should have taken all this money I've spent on the band and put it to good use with a good therapist. I hate myself sometimes.
Well, it's 2008 and after making an absolute pig of myself over the holidays I'm back to 220. I have a filll appointment scheduled for Jan 11th. Hopefully between that and getting back to the gym the numbers will start going down again. I am very discouraged.
June 2, 2008- No good news here. My mom was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer right after I wrote this last blog entry. So, I have been self-medicating with food hoping it will help dull the pain I'm feeling inside. It has always been my mom and me against the world. What on earth am I going to do without her? How can this be fair? She has never done a single bad thing in her entire life and now this. Some people seem to have all the luck. Anyway, I have gained to 233.8 as of today. I know I am not doing anyone any good, least of all me, so I am going to try again to get control of myself and get back on track. Who knows....it seems like that is all I"ve been saying lately. Maybe I am going to be one of the ones who fails at WLS...it would be just my luck....and YES, I am feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party. It's my party (blog) and I'll cry if I want to!
Major depression. I am up to 254.7! It is as if I don't even have a band. I have always said the "proof" of the LapBand will be in my ability to keep the weight off....and so far, it's not any different than when I lose weight without the band....I lose it, and within a year or so it goes right back on. My conclusion to all of this.....Weight loss is a problem in the brain...and I really don't know how to go about "fixing" that. Yes, the LapBand is still there for a tool for me to use if I so choose to do so, but it still is always going to be a matter of fighting my addiction to food and that is EXHAUSTING! It's so hard to go against what your brain wants you to do...and my brain tells me constantly to feed it sugar. I have called the surgeons office and talked to Laurie..she is going to get me back into the dietician and also in to see Dr True instead of McKee. I only have 7 1/4 ccs in my band, but he won't budge about giving me any more...she said that Dr. True is much less conservative than McKee and I should see him and tell him what's been going on. All in all.....I am VERY discouraged to think that I spent all of this money out of pocket and it's not going to help me KEEP the weight off. I guess it's time to face the fact that I am an addict and always will be....I will NEVER have a time in my life where I can have a normal relationship with food. I will always have to treat food with respect and distrust....always guarding myself against the next trigger that will send me into a binge...even typing it is exhausting.