ObesityHelp

12-11-02 My road to WLS has just begun. I have been thinking about having this operation for about two years. I think that now that I am engaged,( getting married in April, 2003)and am talking very seriously about having children in the near future, has promted me to really look at my life in a new perspective. My health is not what you would expect from someone who is 23yrs. old! I have High Blood presure, back pain, SOB with any amount of exsertion, I snore but have not had a sleep study yet. I also have severe heel spurs on both of my feet and the podiatrist says that until I lose weight, they will continue to hurt. That sucks because my job requires me to stand anywhere from 1-8 hours a day. I work in surgery as a certified surgical technologist. I know the real inside to surgery. I do not think of that as a good thing, sometimes knowing too much can be more dangerous than not knowing enough. Anyway, not meaning to scare anyone. I also suffer from depression, which kinda comes with being obese, or in my case I am what they call "super morbid obese". Puts the old, "would you like that super sized", into a new light as well! I am as of this day 5'4" and 362lbs. Ya! I have been on every diet there is. No, I have not ventured into the multiple diets that require large sums of money, you all know which one's I am refering to. They can just keep making their millions and deceive someone else, there you have my opinion of that. Never the less, I have been on every low fat, low carb, low solid food, low calarie, low sodium, low cholesterol diet there is, all of which have failed!! I am not a failure though. That is the ironey of it all. My body is really in more contol of my weight than I am. I have the support of my wonderful PCP, and several other surgeons that I work with. All of which recognize that I am saving my life! I also, have the unconditional support of a very loving family. A family that includes, diabeties, heart diseases, high blood presure, and of course the deadliest disease of all Obesity. I stand alone in my family, as the first one to take such risk, and turn to such drasatic measures. I have their hands, shoulders and prayers to lean on. Without the love and support of God, family, and physicians, this would be a dead end journey for me. But I know that have all of them behind me. That alone makes this worth it. Last, but not least, I pray for my future children, that I know God is making. I pray that they will have a mother who can play with them, and be there for them for many years. If I were to stay the way I am now, I know that this dream would not be a reality. With this life changing discion, I hope my health will be restored and I can have those beautiful children God is making.

12-12-02 After reading over some other profiles, I realized that I am a little futher along in this journey than I thought. I have my referal to a surgeon and my first consult is scheduled for Jan. 8, 2003. I plan to update again then. Until then Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of you.

2-09-03 Well, I have neglected my profile page for like two months. My status as of now is... waiting. I have decided after my first visit with the surgeon, to wait until after my wedding and honeymoon to have my surgery. I do not think that a liquid diet would be much fun for my wedding or cruise. I am looking at having my surgery around the middle of June. Plus, I will have been with my job for one year on June 10th. Therefore, FMLA will kick in. I will definatly need that. Until something else happens or my date is set, I will talk to you later.

6-21-03 Hello my fellow WLS friends. I do not have much to report. Just waiting on insurance. Seems the company I work for has descided to change companies and that makes for a real problem for me. The PPO they offer does not look to kindly on bariatric treatment of any kind, especially surgery. I guess my whole plan is on hold. It is very difficult for me to even type this. I was so ready to do this, and now I have to wait, again. I only wish there was something I could do. I have to rely so much on the insurance. If only the insurance could understand...I will update when I have some news. Until then, I will wait.
7-21-02 Well, tomorrow I will be going to see a new surgeon. Seems that with my medicare and other private insurance I have, there may be a chance of getting the surgery covered. I will be able to tell you more tomorrow. I have searched for info on the doctor I am going to see. There seems to be only three or four others that have posted on this particular surgeon. He seems to be very experienced with the procedure. I will be asking lots of questions though. My list is typed and ready. I will be sure to update you all tomorrow.

7-2-03 Well, I went to see Dr. Leggett. I went into alot of detail in the section about the surgeon so I will not repeat myself alot hear. I was nervous going in, and even more nervous when I left. That may sound like a negative thing but really it is not. I think I just get butterflys in my stomach everytime I have a feeling of accomplishment in this long journey. I definatly had that feeling today. I will be posting alot over the next few weeks. I have to a see a Psychologist, a Pulmonary Specialist, and a Dietician. Not to mention the fact that I have to also repeat a HIDA scan and an ultrasound of my gallbladder. Due to my family history and own past testing, the surgeon will most likely be taking my gallbladder during the procedure. This new surgeon I went to is very thorough and selective. He has not performed as many procedures as some of the other doctors I have researched, but he does not just cut open anyone who walks in his office that is over weight. He puts you through a battery of test and even gives you homework before he decides rather or not you are a canidate for this surgery. Hope I pass with flying colors. Every finger, toe and hair on my body is crossed and I have prayed without sease that the insurance approves me. I will update again when I have something to update with. Until then, God Bless you all.

7-28-03 Hello all my fellow WLS friends. I hope all are well. Today I had my Pulmonary and Dietician consults. My Pulmonanologist was nice and he wants me to have a pulmonary study done in the morning just to make sure my lungs are good and healthly. The Dietician was quite a suprise. She was very stern and direct. She was very knowledgable in the area of post-op patients having this procedure. She gave me some list of foods I will and won't be able to eat after the surgery. She also strongly recomended that I start the diet now. She is saying appsolutly no carbs and that I should go through my pantry today and rid the house of those things. She also scared my husband and I with the news of not getting pregnent within the first two years. She explained that if we did accidently get pregnet too soon we would have to abort the fetus! WOW!! We were shocked to hear that. She explained that I would not be vitamen sufficiant enough to carry a child. I knew that we would have to wait like a year or so to get pregnet. It will take at least that long to get my weight down to where I can have a healthy baby. What I did not know is that if for some reason we got pregnet, that it would be suggested to abort. I am totally pro-choice, but I choose to have mine and my husband's baby. Anyway, sorry to go and on. I will just cross that bridge if and when it ever comes. I believe that God will give us our baby when he knows we are ready. SO for now, my husband and I are going through everything we were told today and kinda digesting it all. No pun intended. We will be analyzing our fridge and pantry in the next couple of days and making a run to the store to stock up on protien, protien, and more protien. Hopefully in the next few days I will be having that all important psyc consult. Will update again then. So far so good. God Bless You All!!!

8-6-03 Well, yesterday I had my psyc consult. He basically told me to go home. I took a 175 question test and the test showed that I suffer from "General Anxiety Disorder". Who dosen't? I mean, pretty much if you have any thing on your mind on a daily basis than they think you have a disorder or something. Not really, but that is about how I feel sometimes. The doctor I went to see was so nice and very considerate. I really liked the way he did not want to waste any time and when it was all said and done he told me to go home that he would not need to see me any more. I guess that is a good feeling when the the doctor who treats "sick in the head" people thinks you will be fine to not see him any more. I guess all in all, I am sane!! What a relief. Sorry to all of you who did not have the same result from their psyc consult. God be with you. I have come to realize that by the time you get done with all the consultations, peliminary tests, and homework assignments, that if you still want the surgery, you deserve it. I have been so busy the last few weeks. I have actually lost some weight ( like a # or 2) during all this running around. Truely though, I am thankful to have such a persistant and through surgeon. I guess the office staff will be filling with the insurance soon. The only thing I have left to do is get an abdominal ultrasound and a HIDA scan done to check out my gallbladder. Hopefully Dr. Leggett will be sending my gallbladder to the lab during my surgery, seeing as how I am the only person in my family left with their gallbladder. I am definatly ready to donate mine to science as well. Well, I guess that is all for now. I will update again when ever something new happens. Till then, God bless you all.


8-13-03....Today is such a crummy day. I have been informed that my primary insurance will not cover the surgery. I want to know why?? I am so frustrated. So here I am again, waiting. I need this surgery so bad. I believe that until I get some weight off, my back injury will continue to slow me down. I am considering finding another job, one that is not so physically demanding, like my current job. I need a company that will offer a good benifits package. I have a few things in mind, but for now I think I will just focas on getting my back better. I am so emotional today. I want to scream. I always seem to get so close, that I can taste it and BOooMM! Some bomb shell hits and the hopes and dreams just get pulled out from under me. I have to stay strong, and not give up. I know that this will happen for me, soon. Just not until God is ready for me to have it. I have to remember, that God's plan is perfect and he will reviel it to me in his time, not mine. With that in mind, I will close and update again later. It may be a while, so God bless you all and I hope to join the fun side soon.

09-28-03....Hello all. I do not have any earth shaking news, just wanted to write a bit. Around the first of September, I was terminated by my job. I was not expecting that hit. I was doing my job and got hurt so I lost my job? It sucks! I am officially unemployeed and still having lots of issues with my back. My MRI revealed that I have two herniated disc, along with several annular tears at different levels of my back. Looks like that midlife career change will be coming a bit soon for me. I am working on getting a medicare supplement that will hopefully cover all expenses for the WLS. I still believe that I will benifiet greatly from this surgery. I think about it every day. I guess to say fantisise about it is a more realistic word. I dream of being under 200lbs., and going into a store and buying those really cute clothes off the rack. I also dream of the day that I can stop taking so many pills. FOr those of you who take 3,4,5 or more pills a day just keep things "under control", you know what I mean. I am just hanging in there and trying not to gain any more wait. It is not too hard to maintain a weight of 380. You can eat just about anything you want.Hahhahaahh. Laugh people, I mean that as a funny. Well, for now I will close and update again later. Hope all of you are well and happy.

10-20-03------Hello all. The weather here in Texas is such a cool and pleasent surprise. Not much has progressed as far as my journey towards WLS. I sent off the application and fees for my medicare supplement. Hopefully once I have my policy I can see about getting the surgery with medicare as my primary. Seems that medicare does pay for this, just need that extra coverage in place before I rack up a bunch of bills. Hope all of you are doing good. Oprah had a lady on today that had lost 200#'s only nine months after surgery. She looked so wonderful. I cannot wait until that is me. I long for that "oh my God you look awsome!" responce from people.
Today has been one of those "I feel really fat days." Why is it on those days we seem to eat the worse foods possible and more of it than usual? That is the emotional part of our disease. The part that I am still unsure of how it will be once my stomach is smaller. I am unsure of how to deal with those emotions that I have filled with food for my entire life, once the surgery is done, what happens? I am trying to see about a support group or something that I can go to before I have the surgery. The dietician wants you to start changing your eating habits before the surgery, and I feel that I need to change my way of thinking about food before the surgery as well. My husband, just the other day, kinda cornered me about why I continue to eat after I say I am full. I got somewhat defensive about the question and the approch, but later I found myself really thinking about it. All I could come up with was mindless justifications for my disease. I do feel out of control so many times. I wish I could stop but right now my habit is to eat til it is all gone. I end up feeling so bad and uncomfortable for the next couple of hours, then I start thinking about what to eat next. That is so sick, even to write, let alone live. I am so thankful for so many things and want to enjoy life so much more. Hopfully the next time I write I can have some really good news. Til then, God bless you all.

11-15-2003..........I have had a really great and busy couple of weeks. I do have great news, My surgery will be in January!!! I just found out and I was so exicted. I am using just Medicare. Seems that the supplemental policy was going to cost more than it was going to cover. So I did away with that. When Icalled the doctors office, they said that I did not have to "pre-qualifiy" and that was that. I will have my HIDA scan and gb ultra sound next Friday. Once the surgeon has those results then I can make my follow up appointment with him and get scheduled. Hello 2004!!! I will be sure to write again once I have a definiate date. My husband has really been concern lately. My weight is just steadily increasing now that I do not work. I have been out from work due to my back for about five months. I do not get out much at all, so what ever I eat I keep!! The pounds are stacking on. I will be more and more concious. I hopefully can start walking more soon as my back is progresses. Well, I guess that is all for now. I wil write back soon. God Bless you all.

12-22-03 I just wanted to put in a quick entry. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the surgeon to scheduale my surgery!! I am so close to all this becoming a reality. I will post again tomorrow afternoon after the appointment. I pray all goes well and that God gives us a safe trip. I also want to note that I had a wonderful time with my best friend this weekend. I have been trying very hard to keep this a secret from alot of people, just so that I do not have that extra sligh eye looking over at me and watching every thing. Hope that makes sence? Anyway...after thinking about it and all. I just could not keep something this big from her. I told her, she was shocked at first but in the end, she gave me her full support. I was happy once I told her. I am sure most everyone will be like her in their reaction, but for now, I want that edge of mystery for some poeple. Once the weight starts to really come off and the questions start popping up, I will give honest answers, but for now, I do not want to volunteer the info. I bet you guys understand. Til tomorrow, or later today...God bless.


12-23-03 Well.... Let me start with the bad news, I have gained 20lbs. sence June when I hurt my back. Oh my God I am 401lbs!! The good news....I finally have a surgery date, 1-14-2004!!! Praise the Lord. I actually cried when I signed the consent. My poor husband, he just looked at me and said it was ok. I have to have a quick upper endoscopy next Friday, the 2nd of January. I have a history of stomach ulsers, so they want to make sure there a not any. They explained that because my BMI is over 50% that they will do the long limb Roux-en-y. This means that they are going to bypass 150cm of my small intestine. Sure does not leave much left over. They explained that I would have more weight lose this way. Sounds good to me! They also explained that I can not take any estrogen first that first two years. They of course do not want us to get pregnant either. Makes for a compromissing situation. Oh well, it will pay off in the end. Well, this has become the best Christams of all for me. I wish you all a safe and happy holiday. God Bless.


12-30-03....Hello my friends. I had to update. I went to my PCP today and got some meds for this hackie cough and crud that I can not seem to kick. I know that I have to rid myself of this before my pre-op, or they will see that elevated white blood count and send me home for a few weeks. Do not want anything to delay this anymore than it already has been. My upper endoscopy has been rescheduled for January 9th. That is fine for me. I hope the next two weeks go by really fast. I have such butterflies. I am nervously excited. I am sure most of you understand my emotion. The nurse at my doctors office today, (she had her surgery like 2 1/2 years ago) was warning my husband that I will be a little hard to deal with the first few weeks. I think he is prepared for almost anything. He has already dealt with my rollercoaster emotions through this entire process. I am sure he will be a great sport post-op as well!!! Anyway...I will post again in a couple of days. Til then, Happy New Year to all. God Bless!!
1-05-2004........Hello all!! Today I went for my pre-op work up. Everything went so well! THe hospital is really organized. Their pre-op/registration area is all in one area. None of that running all over the hospital to get all the test done. It started off with meeting with the Bariatric corrdinator. Her name is Sharla and she is just the greatest. She goes over and beyond her call of duty to make sure everything is done just right and they know all they need to know about you to make sure that there are no delays the day of surgery and that you are as comfotable as posible. I have been very nervous about this the last few weeks, but after talking with her, my nerves have clamed so much!!! My EKG, and chest x-ray were fine and all we are waiting on is to make sure my blood work comes back fine, which it should. I still have to have that upper endoscopy on Friday the 9th. Not looking paticulary forward to that but whatever. I found out also today that I have to start a full liquid diet on the day before my surgery. That sucks. Oh well. I guess my "last supper" will have to be on Sunday or Monday. We will be staying in a hotel the night before, and my family will continue through the rest of the week while I am at the hospital. It is almost an hour drive, so we feel this will be more econmical. We plan on having a little party at the hotel the night before, mostly to keep our minds calmer. It is not like we are going to sleep or anything, Right? Well, all and all, I amvery happy to be getting things done and with only nine more days til the big day, I am really starting get excited about the new life and the new me. I wil update again soon. God Bless.


1-08-2004........Tomorrow I have to go have the upper endoscopy done. I only have a couple of hours left to eat or drink anything. I thought I would post an entry since I won't feel much like doing anything tomorrow. Everyone pray hard that I do not have any ulsers in my stmoach. I do not feel like I do, hope I am right. we got the rooms booked and I have begun shopping for my special foods for when I come home. I am still really nervous about everyhing. I just want it all to go really smooth so that I can bounce back really quickly. Who wouldn't? I am concern about my mom. She still lives with me and my husband. She talks as thought this is temporary. I do not think she realizes that this a permenent deal. It is not like I am trying some new diet to get a few pounds off. She speaks of the time when I will be able to eat anything I want again. I have it in my mind that day may never come. I have read profiles of people that after several years, still have many things that they ate before that they can not eat at all anymore. I am nervous about the lifestyle change. When I leave this house on Tuesday before my surgery, I will come home a completely different person. I pray that I can kepp my moods in check, for everyones sake. I will write more later.


1-11-04 Hello all!! The Upper Endoscopy went very well. I am clear for surgery, no ulcers!!! Thank you God. The only bad thing that happened was that it took four tries to get my I.V. that was no fun at all. They finally had a doctor, from anestesia, come start it. He, of course, got it on the first try. He said that if they have that much trouble, next week, getting my I.V, they will put in a CVP line, (central venous port). No thank you. I always say that it may take several tries but it is doable, hopefully it will not be as difficult next Wednesday. Everyone cross their fingers. All and all though it was a fairly smooth experience. I was not all that drowsey after the procedure. I went to dinner with my husbands parents that evening and had a wonderful time. My food, a fried seafood platter, was not all that great. Oh,well. To be honest, I have eaten so much the past three weeks, that I am actually ready to not to have eat. I will take those words back most likely within the next few weeks. lol I guess that is all for now. I only have two more days to eat whatever I want, then it is all clear liquids. I am still nervous about the whole thing, but kinda ready to do it and get it over with. I will post again before I leave for the hospital. God Bless you all.

1-12-04 Hello all. I wanted to post before I left for the hospital. We leave tomorrow to check into the hotel. Today is the last day I can eat anything I want. I have to be on a clear liquid diet all day tomorrow, along with doing a bowel prep. Good great, tomorrow will be so fun. NOT! I will post as soon as I get home from the hospital. Thank you all for your prayres and encouragement. I am still really nervous and excited. Oprah had another show today talking about the surgery. She is so close minded in my opinion. Enough of that. I can not believe it is finally here. I am about to take the biggest step to take care of myself that I have ever taken. I know that with the love and healing power of God and all the love and support that I have around me, I will be fine. I have prayed for my future children alot this week. I am doing this, in part, for them. I long for the days of running and playing and having fun without pain and discomfort and rapid fatigue. I also can not wait to stop taking blood pressure medicine. I have to admit, I also can not wait to buy clothes and sexy stuff to wear for my husband. He is excited about that too. LOL Well, I will close for now. Keep me in your prayers and I will do the same for all of you. God Bless you all!!


1-18-04....Today I am 4 days post op. Everything went very well. I will post with more details soon when I feel like sitting in front of the computer longer. Hope all are well too.
1-19-04......Today I am 5 days post op and getting stronger everyday. My surgery pain is getting to be less and less. I am still having a hard time getting down certain things. I am scared that I am not getting enough nutretian. I hate even thinking about food. The past few nights I have had some pretty dateailed dreams about food, that is all my minds fault. I am ready to start some cream of wheat and maybe some creamed soups. I have to admit that I have had some hunger feelings. I thought at first it was just nausia. I guess it is sort of both. I am sleeing much better at night. It takes me a while to find a comfortable position, but once I do , I can sleep for a good 6-7 hours. I am so thirsty when I wake up. I worry that I am going to get sick from dehydrationin in my sleep. I have lots of questions for the doctor this week. All and all, I am doing pretty good. I am still anxious to get this first week or so over with. Will update after I go see Dr. Legget for my first follow up. Til Then.


1-21-04....Today I am 7 days post op. My mother had to go into the hospital, she is real sick with pnemonia type syptoms, and while I was there, I saw a scale. My first visit with my doc. is not until next Tuesday, and I just could not wait. I have lost 30 pounds!!!! In one week!! That is so unbelievable to me. I was so trilled I cried. My husband was so happy for me. Even in between her coughs my mom was so proud. Once you see how much all this is working, your surgery pains seems to suddenly lessen drasticly. Funny huh? Well, I just had to post and let you all in on that. I'm a loser!!!! Will write more soon.


1-27-04......I went today for my first follow up visit with my surgeon. Every thing was great, and I am down another 15 pounds. That makes a total of 45 pounds down in less than two weeks. I am progressing very well. I am trying new foods as tolorated, per the doctors permission. I tried some chicken today. It tasted so good and I got full really fast. I still am so full and I ate it like an hour and half ago. I am still having trouble getting food down as often as I probably should. I keep my bottle of water close to me at all times. I am starting to walk some. In fact at phisical therapy yesterday, I walked longer than I ever had before. They were happy with the progress. This past weekend, while at his parents house, my husband and I walked several blocks around the neighborhood. It was so nice to be outside and walk. I got tired, but I have to remind myself that I did just have surgery and it takes time to heal. The docotor today said not to try and start some wild and viguouris exercise routine. Walking is all it takes. Fine with me, I will stick to that. I will update again in a few. Til then, God Bless all who reaad this.


2-03-04....Today is my Birthday!! No cake for me this year, but that is ok. I am one day shy of being three weeks post op. I do not have an updated weight, sure wish I did though. I have really been loging in and using the messege board for questions and answers to some tough situations. I really love the way people answer your cries for help and give that extra word of encouragement that you need. I am doing ok, my pain is much better. I still have alot of muscle pain around the left side incision most. I sometimes feel like I pulled something out of wack over there, and then I remeber that I had surgery, oh yeah. LOL Well, not much new happening, just had to write to tell myself happy birthday. I will update again soon. God Blesss.


2-04-04 WEll my Birthday has come to an end. I wanted to post about my first resturant experience. It was as amusing as I expected. When the waiter came to the table and asked for our order, I asked for the childrens menu. It was great, and the meal only cost $2.49!! I did not even eat all of, about half was all I could do. I am still full, but happy to be out and about in the real world. I hope with time my husband can feel more comfortable about eating in front of me, especially when it is something he knows I really like. That too will come in time I am sure. I am looking for a scale to weigh on. I was up at the hospital visiting my mother and there is a scale but I am not sure that it works properly. I will post again soon. God Bless you all.


2-6-04.....Hello all, today I am 3 weeks and two days post op. I still do not have a current weight, but will soon. I have to write about a really cool thing that happened. I have been having several bouts of depression lately. Just waking up, not feeling well, and crying, for no real apparent reason. I have also been dealing with alot of guilt and doubting myself. I have not done anything wrong, to warrent these emotions and feelings. I feel guilty whenever I get full, like I overate, but did not. I still have some trouble disguishing between being full and hungery in my new stomach. I usually have to think how long has it been since I last ate, then to realize, I need to eat something. All that being said, yesterday, I was going through all of this. I found myself starting to question the whole thing. During those moments of guilt, I have overwhelming familiar feelings of, "I feel fat!" I was thinking, this is not even working, great I am one of those that the weight does not come off. Then....I was getting ready for bed and everything changed. I had ordered some satin PJ's from LAne Brayant before my surgery, and when I got home from the hospital after my surgery, they had arrived. I tried them on , and they did not fit! The pants were really snug and the top gapped around the buttons. I was so heart broken, because I wanted them for when I got home to wear around the house and be comfortable. Well...how things can change in a matter of 3 weeks. I tried them on again last night and they are hanging off of me. They are so big and baggy!!! I just started crying, again. I called my mom and husband just crying. They both thought something was wrong, then when I did get out what I was crying about they were thrilled too. It is the first sign to me that this is for sure working. I had seen a decrease in the numbers, on the scale, but nothing noticeable like that. My mom, who has not been around me as much the last two weeks, also noticed that when I lie on the couch now, you can really tell a difference. I look forward to more and more changes. This has been a much needed boost. I will post again in a couple of days, maybe after a weight check. Til then...

2-16-04....Today I have turned another new leaf. I joined the gym. I worked today with a personal trainer. Her name is Nel. She is about 65 years old, and very fit. She worked me hard and for about 45 minutes. It was great to be back in the gym, were I belong! I have been walking, since my surgery, but I know myself enough that I have to do more than just walk, I get bored with just walking. My surgery pains seem to really be gone, I am very thankful for that. I am eating still just soft things, that go down easily. The scale has not moved these last couple of weeks. I hear alot of people saying that though on the messege boards, so I am not alone. I am sure that with adding more and more activity, I will start dropping again. That is really all for now. I go see the doctor in about a week, so I will post again then.

2-23-04...hey gang...I go to the doctor tomorrow, but I just had to do some writting this morning. I have been trying alot of different foods lately, like the last 2 weeks. I am not sure what makes me think it is ok to try some of the foods I have tied, but I have only dummped 3-4 times since surgery. The first time I believe was after a baked chicken leg that my mother-in-law made. It still had the skin on it when cooked and I think the fat was just too much, even though I did not eat the skin! The next time was after eating an egg, ham, and cheese omlet at a hotel resturant on Valentines day. I thought that I had a small piece of the ham hung, but after reading more about dumping, I truely believe what I had was dumping. I did get up a small piece of ham, but the awful sensation lasted about 30 minutes. The next time was after having about half a small pancake with the slightest bit of white kayro syrup, boy that was the worst ever! The last time was just last night. I went to Boston MAaket and got their turkey, which is good and moist. My two sides were where I went wrong...creamed spinach and squash cassarole. I believe the squash had just too much sugar, their was more bread pieces than sqash in it. Now a little bit about what happens when I am dumping. It all starts with shaking and feeling very nausious. I do not feel like I am needing to throw up. I just sometimes wish I could, so that what ever is in me can come out! I usually start coughing, just like I do when I have to vomit, but then I dry heave, for about 5 minutes. After that, within another five minutes the sinsation is gone and I feel like a new women. I have this for about 20-30 minutes all total from beginning to end. Oh, I just remembered, at about 2 weeks out I tried some baby food bananas and within 3 hours of eating them I had severe diahreia. I believe that too to be a form of dumping. I felt really yucky after that. So that makes a total of five dumping episodes for me. I am really trying to revamp my eating. I have tried so many different things that have not bothered me, which I am happy that i can eat so many different things , but at what cost? I am eating so splenda sweetened yogurt as I type and I aam not even sure that I am going to eat any solid food today. I am very frustrated with myself right now. I am trying to rush things and I have paid horriably for it. My weight lose has slowed so much the past few weeks, ever since the doctor told me to satrt eating. I know that is normal to a point, but I feel that I am getting too many carbs and not enough protein. I have to work at this, which I am. I also have got to do more water in. I get about 30 oz. a day, not enough. Need like 64, I am half way there! I also need to get a vitamen in everyday! I hate the chewable vitamens so much. I am like a spoiled brat the does not want to take their medicine. My husband and mother both have to go 1-2-3 go, 1-2-3 go...It takes like an hour of this to get them down. Stupid and reatarded I know, but I hate the things! I can say though that I am doing good in the exercising department. This is all opisite of how I thought I would be. I warked with a trainer 4 times last weeks and have a great excercise program going. I know that this will help get me through this current weight plateu. On top of the gym, I also still go to thereapy 3 times a week for my back, which is also exercise. As for my back... it has had a marked improvement since I have lost almost 50 lbs. I beat myself up so much, thinking I am such a failure and blamming myself for the mistakes I made here and there, but I have to remember that I have lost 50 pounds in less that 6 weeks, I could have never done that without this tool. I am sure I will make more mistakes, but as long as I recongnize them, and do what I know is the next right thing, I will succeed. For now, I am just still learning how to live with this new plumbing, and it is very different and at times difficult to understand. I have know regrets, just frustrations..I can honestly say, even in the midst of this trouble, that I would do it all again. Til tomorrow....


2-26-2004...Well, I went to the Doctor on Tuesday and I am doing great. My blood work, surprisingly, came back all within normal limits and the doctor said, "whatever you are doing, keep doing it, cause it's working." I have lost a toatl of 57 pounds since my surgery date, six weeks ago. I am so thrilled. I am starting to see a difference in my clothes and just now starting to get that energy level everyone talks about. My back is continuing to get strongeer, but it is sore from all the streaching and building they are doing in therapy. There are still things I have a hard time doing, like sitting on the floor for more that just a few minutes. The weight I have lost has really helped my back. Every poound, I am sure, will only help it more and more! I am anxious to see what happens in the next month. I have already survived that first plateu and have learned alot over the past few weeks. I feel more comfortable with my new stomach and plumbing system. I will post again in a few days. God Bless to all!

3-3-2004....I do not have a lot to post, just felt like writting a bit. I am back on the losing side, average of 5-7 pounds per week. I have set some personal goals for the next few months. I feel that the more I a able to look at my progress the better off I feel. I just finished reading Carnie Wilson's first book, "Gut Feelings". It was so good. I relate to so much of her emotional stuff. I am just now starting on the second one, "I'm Still Hungrey" so far it too has been just as good. Next I am going to finish a book I have started like 2 or 3 times, " Co Dependent No More". That is such a down fall of mine. I have never really stood on my own two feet before. I have always had someone else to care for me, but more I have always had someone else to take care of, letting myself become the one that gets forgotten. I believe this to be one of the bigger contributing factors to by extreme weight gain. I had a taste of independence for a very short while, and as it turned out, it was one of the worst times in my life. Then I got married to someone who needed alot of attention and my mother moved back in with me. I have had some wonderful times, and still do, but at what cost? The cost has always been to let myself go, and put everything and everyone ahead of myself. I have always feared becoming this selfish, self-centered person. I hate that type of person, therefore I fear becoming one. So I just do the total oposite, thinking that I am doing the right thing. Wrong! If only I could find deep within myself that balance between the two, I think then I would find myself truely happy and comfortable in my own skin. Til then....


3-12-2004... Hey, just a quick update. I am doing good, and eating well. I am down to 357#!! Only 7 pounds to go to get to my March goal. Still working out and doing alot at therapy. I am getting stronger in my back, just still having pains whenever I do alot. I will write more later.

3-19-2004 Hey gang. I just had to write and say that I am only 2 little pounds from being at my goal for the month. I have been lossing about a pound a day for the past couple of weeks. How cool is that? I love it. I am at 68 pounds gone forever, in only 9 weeks! Tonight is the monthly support group meeting. I am looking forward to it. Tonights topic is plastic surgery...I am anxious to see what they have to say, but more I am anxious to see some of the people I talked to last month. I will post again later.


3-24-2004 I have some great news. I have reached my goal for March, early! I am down to 348, 72 pounds gone!! My goal was to get at or below 350#. My goals for April are going to be a challenge. I am glad I have a few days left in March to get started on them. Seems I was not informed about the date change for the support group meeting, so I drove all the way over there to find out it was the night before. I was sad! I hated missing the fellowship, and information. I will be sure not to miss the next one! I will post again once April rolls around. The weather is so beautiful. Spring is here, that means flowers!

4-10-2004 HEllo April. This is exciting time for me. Monday, the 12th will be my first wedding anniversery. I am excited about that. I love this time of year because of the weather, and the colors! I have very positive things to report. I am down to 338! A total loss of 82 pounds! Yippie! I am happy. My clothes are fitting very well, and I have evn dropped a couple of sizes. Of course saying a 26 fits good now is not much to brag about, of course unless you realize, I was wearing a womens size 32-34, and now can wear a 26. I have gone from needing a 5x to a comfortable 3x. Good changes! I am looking forward to the conference next month. If all goes well, I will reach my goal for April, and can say at the conference, I'm a century club member! Just for the record, my goal for April is to be at the 100 pound mark. That means I need to lose 18 more pounds in the next 20 days. Hope I make it! Til later. I will post again after my anniversery trip to San Antonio.
4-25-04 Hello...Just a short post to check in and all. I am loseing about a pound a day again. Looks like maybe that APril goal will NOT be met, but I am ok with that. I am at a total loss of 88 pounds, and my goal was to be at -100. I only have five or six days to get 11 pounds off??? I do not see it happening, but I will be close. Everything else is just ok for now. Our anniversery trip was a lot of fun. I will post again in May, hopefully with the announcement of becoming a century member! Til then...God Bless....
May 16, 2004.....Hello all. Just realized that I had not posted anything in May yet! Sham on me! WEll, I am still losing, but still have not made the century mark! I am sure it will only be in a day or two, but I am just so impatient and wanting that scale to move...Now!

I can not post without talking about the absolute blast I had this weekend in Arlington, Texas at the conference. It was so awsome to meet, face to face, with so many people, just like me. I have developed some new friends and just can not wait until the next event! I will post later with more details, but I am so tired right now from the drive...I must go lie down before I spend the night with my head on the keyboard! Love to all....

5-20-2004...Just felt like posting some thoughts. I have been noticing a change in my moods lately. One minute I seem so happy and like a new person, then the next day or so, I feel like I want to hurt someone. Sounds crazy. I think I may have discussed this before, but I really think my body is just really going through a drastic change and has a hard time keeping up with itself. I have been so frustrated lately about my weight loss as well. I have, as yo know, been trying to get to the 100 pounds loss mark for almost 4 weeks now. I still have about 2 pounds to go. I have really been watching my carbs,, but I have slacked allot with my exercise. I have to blame that primairly on myself and the fact that I am still lazy! Then I have to blame my stupid back! It really still slows me down. Whenever I try to just ignore it and go on with life, I wake up the next day paying dearly for. To the point that I have had to cancele therapy sessons, because I was in too much pain. I go back to my PCP, who is the treating doctor for my back,sometime next week. I hope she will let me try one more thing before we discuss injections, that is some water arobics. Eveyone I talk to about it seemd to really speak highly of it, so I am willing to give it a try. Other than that, I still am just trying my hardest to stay on track. I went today to get my blood work done for Dr. Legget's appointment next Thursday. I stressed myself so much last time, worring if the blood work would be ok or not. Everything turned out so good. I still will be nervous, until I get the results, but not near as stressed as last time. ALso, I have to talk about the lasted email I sent out to all of my family and friends. I kept this whole thing a secret from most of them, but I got some new insight or perspective, if you will, at the conference. It took me a couple of days to write it and even longer for me to hit that send button, but I finally did. So far, the responces that I have gotten have been very positive and encouraging. I will post again after my appointment next week with Dr. Leggett.

5-22-2004...Just had post some really awsome news...I finally did it! I have finally joined the century club, as of yesterday, I have a total loss of 101 pounds!!! I am so thrilled. Do not why those those last 3-5 pounds were so much trouble. Now, I just want to say good bye to the 300s forever. Only 19 pounds and counting! I will post again in about a week! Love to all!

5-28-2004...Today is Memorial Day. I am sick for the first time since my surgery. Bad sore throat and horriable cough! Up most of last night coughing! I did however, have a great visit last Thursday at Dr. Legget's office. All my blood work is doing great and I am at a total weight loss of 104 pounds. Still lossing rather slow. I need to exercise more and still work on getting in more water. The docotor added to an iron supplement to my vitamen coctail everyday. No big deal, but I hope I do not get constipated!! Yuk! Will post again soon. Gonna be busy the next few weeks, moving on June 25th! Yuk again! It will be a bigger place, so that is good! Moving just plain up sicks, as we all know! Til then...

6-14-2004...Ok, For some reason, my post are not showing up, so I hope that this one will. I am doing alright...my scale is stuck, but other than that, all is good. I really want to get out of the 300's in the next week or so, therefore I plan on really watching what I eat and walking everyday...no matter what! I will of course post more, once I know that these are posting and I have lost some more weight! Til then...

6-30-2004...It is the last day of June and I have lots to write about. We have moved into our new apartment, and that all went well! There have been a few glitches, but overall, we are steadily settling in and getting used to our new place. The weather has been so bad lately here in H town. Rain has kept us from doing allot of what we wanted the past few weeks, we even had to postpone our move by like 4 days!!! Hopefully blue skies and sunshine while be graced upon us soon!
This month has been the slowest for me as far a weight loss! I have only lost 8 pounds!!! I have not made my goal for this as well. I am very disappointed in myself about this and know that I have to make some serious adjustments to overcome this hurtle! My excuse...is the fact that we have done allot of eating out this month...too much quick meals and drive throughs!!! Even thought I try very hard to make the best food choices, those places just do not cook things like I do, therefore there are extra calories and saturated fat. My exercise was going great there for a few weeks, but then I got just way consumed with the move and exercise seems to always be the thing that gets put on the back burner. I have a great new exercise room here at the place....I just need to use it! My back is still bothering me! I just went to the workers comp doctor the other day, and they have decided that I have reached my "Maximun Medical Improvement". What does that mean? I am definatly not well, just as good as it is going to get. Now they, (WCC) gets to place an imparment rating on me. What does that mean? It is all so confussing to me. I know that God will take of all of that though, just like he does with everything. I plan on standing back and letting him do his thing where all the workers comp stuff is concern. I guess that is about all for now...think I will just go relax and watch some TV...something I surely don't do too offten. Hope everyone is doing great, and enjoying their summer! Til next time....HUGS!

7-5-2004...Wow I can not believe that it is already July. We had a nice, calm, uneventful fourth of July holiday. Went and watched some fireworks and had the chance to go eat dinner with Danny and Tina, even though poor Danny had to work. I am sad to report that I have not reached my goal that I set for the end of June. I so wanted to be out of 300 by the end of June...but I am so close, I can acually taste it! I have made it to 300...on the dot...just one more pound and I will be on schedule, with my goals. I have been pretty overwhelmed lately with the move and the fact that I have been really busy with Workers Comp sh**. I had to be at the office today at 8am for an EMG test and a Functional capacity exam. The EMG, was not fun AT ALL! In fact to be honest, it hurt like hell! The FCE, was such a waste of time to me. They made me do things I have not attempted to do since I hurt my back....needless to say...I nipped that in the bud real quick! They wanted me to things like 3-4 times each, well I did them once and sat down. I was in so much pain by the time the two hour test was complete, I came home and took a Soma and went to bed! Hopefully this week, will allow for some me time and get some exercise under my belt. I have been continuing to make good food choices, just not doing the exercise I need to be doing to make weight drop as easily. I will update later! HUGS!

7-12-2004...Sorry I did not post this sooner, but I have been busy. I finally did it...I got out of the 300's...for GOOD! I am so happy to be at this point this early in the game...only 6 months out! I am very proud, but know that I still have a long ways to go, but Ihave come soooooo very far! I am trying to add more pictures...we will see if actually works!

7-27-2004 Well...there it is the offical proof! I am a card carrying fool...and proud of it! Things have slowed down...finally! The move is all done...all unpacked and decorated, looks good if I do say so myself! The weight loss has really slowed down, but like I said before that is my fault...need to get back to working out all the time again. Been so busy and the case of the "I don't want tos" have been creeping up on me. Laziness is the devil! I hate the devil, therefore I hate laziness!

On a brighter note, I did finally start Aqua therapy. It kicks you butt fast, what a work out! Just wish I could go like evryday instead of just two or three times a week. Hopefully this will not only benifet my back, but also help get the scale moving again! The rest of the summer will be filled withthings like weddings...showers...tanning...swimming, and getting over being lazzy! If I get allof that done, I will be doing good. Will post later with more!
8-9-2004...Ok, I seem to be having problems with the computer..so hopefully this will save.
I am happy that the summer is almost gone...even though here in Texas, the heat will lurk around for several more months. Went to a friends wedding this past weekend, had a great time. Kinda scary that I know that I can have a little bit of alcohol and get drunk...very fast. Will have to be careful.

8-31-2004...I can not believe that this is the last day for August! Time just flies by so fast! I have neglected my profile for some time and I am sorry! I have been so busy lately with allot of little projects. Most of them seem to be over now and I can get back on track. I have really been off track lately. Lets see, first, I went on a week long road trip with my husband and his mother. It, for the most part, was enjoyable. I got to see some beautiful country side and even got to meet some of the other side of my new family. The drive was long and at times boaring, so I snacked allot. BAD! I had some seroius issues with constipation during most of the week, but by the time we got home, I was feeling much better. Just something about being home in your own bed! Then there was the weddings! Two dear friends of mine have gotten married this summer and that means showers, and weddings...and in this case, that meant four trips to Brenham within a six week period! that in itself has kept me busy. I was honored to be included iin the house party for my dear friend's, Angie, wedding. I got to help organize and throw a shower for her, and even made some new friends throughout the process! I have also had such a wonderful time getting to know and becoming closer to some of the ladies and gents from the Texas Message board. It so nice to mengle with these people that understand you so well. I have had to really turn to many of them for support lately and they have never let me down once! Thank God for each of them. Now, the best news of all since my last post! I have dropped enough weight now to change catagories on the BMI chart. I have lost a total of 140 pounds and still loosing! My weight is much much MUCH slower now, but everyone told me that this would happen! I lose a about 10-15 pounds per month now. I know that once I get back into exercising regualery again, I will drop more. Which brings me to this, tomorrow, I am going to do something I have been talking about for months and months...I am going to Curves! i have heard so much agood about it, I have to go check this out for myself. I hope that their program is not too much for my back, that is my only concern! The price is fairly resonable and like I said, ihave heard so much good about that I think this may be good for me. I really want a very encouraging atmosphere! Well, I think that is about all for now. I will post more as stuff happens! i pray that God blesses each and every person that reads this! Love and Hugs to all!
9-5-2004...I just thought I would write for a minute. Nothing monumental has happened. I have been enjoying a week with my best girl friend, Mary. She will be living out of state for the next year or so, and it will be a while before we can see each other again, so we are spending some quality time together before she leaves!
My weight loss has not changed much lately. Only about 8-10 pouns per month! It is hard to accept that when you still have so much to lose! I will get there though, inch by inch!! Love and Hugs to all!!


9-14-2004...Well, my weight is finally falling again. I have lost about 5 pounds in the last 10 days! Loving that for sure! I seem to be lossing more inches everyday. I have gone form a size 32/34 to a size 22/24. Thats 10 sizes! Even though I can not wait to be in those cute little 12/14's, I am happy that I have gotten this far, this fast! Never in a million years could I have lost 145 pounds in 8 short months...by myself! I am so proud of myself, and so thankful for this tool! I have to say, that I never thought I would feel even this normal ever again. I am so used to my way of life now, that I can actually say that I enjoy food and dining, something I thought I would say good bye to forever after this surgery. I have fun trying new things here and there and even like the occasional splurg of a bite or two of something sweet! Life is so much better! I have to admit...I can honestly say, that I would do it all again in a heart beat if I had to. I look so forward to the next 10 or so months, as I get closer and closer to my goal weight of 150 pounds. I am about half way there.(145 lost, 125 to still lose) Thank you to everyone who has supproted me throguhout this entire process!! I could not have done it without you all!Love and Hugs!

10-23-2004....Oh My so much has happened this past month. Where do I even begin? First, I was in the hospital for what was thought at first to be a surgery related problem. I was having sever lower abdominal pain that had to be managed in the hospital with IV medications. After many test, none of which were the least bit enjoyable, they finally found some cyst on my ovary. Makes since, seeing how this started with the on set of my first period since my surgery and seemed to kinda just go away the last day of my period. Weird I know, but that is the human body for you!! I have continued to lose weight, still at a very slow pace. I am averaging still about 10-12 pounds per month. I am learning to be more and more happy with this. To date I have lost a total of 164 pounds!!!!! To me that is Awesome! I am so thankful for this surgery and the new lease on life it has given me!!!! I am looking into some different options for a new workout program including the possibility of a trainer...I have been know to have good luck with the one on one attention before and think maybe that may be what I need to get me moving again! I am anxious to see how the next few months play out. There is so much happening in our world...so many things could change for the better in the next few weeks! I am excited and nervous all at the same time! I know this is vague in details, but it is suppose to be that way for now!!!!! I am also excited for my sister in law....do we really have to put that in law part?? She too just had weight loss surgey and is recovering well at this time. She I WILL BE the hottest chicks on the beach this summer! I am looking forward to it! Now we just have to get this done for Danny, Mom, and Gino...then we will be one beautiful group of people...healty too!! I will update again soon. Hope all who read this are blessed and HAPPY!
Love and Hugs to all!
11-15-2004

Well, this is a very typical WLS moment. I have been complaining lately about the fact that I have lost all this weight, but my clothing size has not changed that much. I started out in 32/34...and had gotten into a 24. Well, even though I noticed that the 24's were kind of baggy, I was still thinking that a 24 was the size I need and refussed to try the next size down.

Well, that is what friends are for. I have been so blessed to have become friends with a lady from the board here. We have started walking, which of course means lots of talking. She encouraged me into trying on some new sizes. She stared off with giving me some suites in a size 22. I put off trying them on for over 24 hours, in fear that they would not fit. Well, they were really too big. That alone blew me away! Then she said ok, I have the cutest top that is an 18/20 that you have to try on. I was like NONONO...it won't fit. Well, IT FIT!!!! I was shocked to say the least! This top is so cute I had to go get a denium skit to wear with it. Off to Lane Bryant we go...Where is the clearance rack!!! LOL

Well, as I am trying on several items, all different sizes and all too big, the skirt I really want is an 18/20. Tried, it fits, I buy it!!!!!!! Still in shock!!! The lady at the store heard my doing the happy Dance and knocked on the door, "Ma'am are you ok?" I explained how that this was the very fist time I left clothes in the dressing room that were too big! What progress. I am so proud of me!! 171 pounds gone forever!

11-20-2004...Just wanted to post a quick update. Went to see Dr. leggett for my follow-up, and all my blood work is sill good. I am continuing to lose at a rate of about 10 pounds per month, which is thought of as being a very heathy pace. I am very nervous about the upcoming holidays. I hope I do not cave into the temptations of all that good food, and I hope that the responce from family will meet my expectations. I am afraid that they may have a different picture in their minds of what I should look like by now, after losing 173 pounds. I am sure they will all be nice and be proud of all I have acomplished. Most importantly, I am proud of me. I have never lost this much weight ever, and to still be lossing...I am so excited about my future, even though right now today, it looks bleak...I know that God has the perfect plan in store for me. I have to just let him work it in his time! I am so guilty of jelousy(sp?. A character defect that I must work on. I tend to think, why do the people that seem to have no troubles get everything...especially the things I want? Such a negitive feeling that I must work on. I am so blessed, but lose sight of it. I have love in ways that most people will never know. NO amount of money will ever change that. No matter how many things I may think I want, the LOVE I have is far more valuable. I have not come this far, to give up now. I know in my heart that God is working me through all of these hard times in order to prepare me for the future. In his word, he says, "For I know I have a plan for you, a plan with hope and future!" I hang on to those words so tightly during times like these, when I feel like everyoone else around me has happiness and favor just falling into their lap, while at the same time...I strugle to keep my head above the water. I look forward to reading this post in the future. God, bless those I am jelous of. Make my heart a happy one. A-men!