Today is Day One of my 5 Day Pouch Test.  I want to preface this by saying a few words- I do NOT think that my pouch is broke, stretched, needs repair, or is damaged.  I am doing this more to retrain my brain more than my pouch.  I am a constant overeater.  I literally over eat at least once a day to the point of being in pain and or being physically sick.  I believe that my surgery was done accurately and I know that my tool is amazing.  I just have to get my brain back to understanding when I am full and not pushing the envelope to the point that I am miserable.  I also would like to say that for me doing these 5 days is NOT about losing weight.  Of course it would be a nice added bonus, but I honestly want a lifestyle change.  I want to get back in touch with my body and knowing when enough is enough.  I want to be able to go to lunch and know that after 6 bites that I am done.  I want to SLOW DOWN and really be aware of how I feel and when to stop eating.  I also want to up my water intake which is HUGE with this plan, especially these first 2 days when all you are getting is liquids.  Adding the water is going to help keep me full and hopefully somewhat satisified.
With that being said today is Day One of my Pouch Test.  Day one and two are liquid only days....LOL I laugh because I HATED the 2 weeks that I had to do an all liquid diet before surgery but I was actually never hungry and lost a lot of weight.  I am hoping that this all will help me get back to basics.  They say that you lose weight for the first 12-18 months.  I am 9 months out today.  The Maintenance phase is going to be life long.  It is a sink or swim type of thing.  I don't want to be one that reverts back to my old unhealthy ways or that adds the pounds back on in excess.  I know that a lot of people don't believe in these types of things but I believe in whatever works for the individual.  I am a very structured individual.  If I am on a "plan" I do well.  When I just leave it up in the air...I do very bad.  So I am hoping that these week goes smooth and I am actually very excited to try it out and challenge myself.

Breakfast- chocolate protein shake...haven't had one of these in months, tasted pretty darn good.
Morning snack- McDonalds iced coffee
Lunch- Portabello mushroom soup
Afternoon snack- creamy tomato and parmesan bisque
Dinner- probably the lentil soup...straining out most of the chunks
And water, water, water, water, water and more water....did I mention water?  LOL

Today I am officially 8 months and 27 days out from surgery....clearly, yes, I am not in the maintenance phase yet but it is something that I think about more often now that I am able to eat a little bit more.  And can someone please explain to me why I can eat more that the next RNY'er?  It is a little frustrating!!  LOL  For lunch today I had a 6' veggie delight from Subway on wheat toasted.  I ate the first 3" at lunch (1pm) and I am having the 2nd 3" now.  Is that normal?  LOL   I won't eat anything else till I get home and then I plan on having broccoli, one of the microwave Green Giant small packs...problem there is that I can literally eat the entire thing...its only like 120 calories in the entire pack but still.  A good friend of mine hardly eats at all and is dropping the weight like crazy.  Ive done good but I am worried that with my appetite (head hunger) and the amount of food I am able to eat that when I get to the maintenenace phase it is going to be a struggle daily just to attempt to maintain.  
I have read about this 5 Day Pouch Test.  Has anyone tried it?  Basically it is back to basics of liquid diet for like 2 days then just protein-small servings I think.  It is suppose to bring you back to the mentality that we all was right after surgery....when we couldn't eat an entire 6" sub in a matter of 2 hours LOL  If you have tried it or read about it or just have comments on it in general Id love to hear it.  I would love to go to just doing soups but they are SO HIGH in sodium and I think that was causing me to retain water so bad.  Maybe I need to get back to having my shrimp for lunch, my egg on 1/2 a sandwich thin for breakfast and a reasonable dinner.  That would not only save me money  on going out to eat everyday but keep my calories down and my serving size small.

 Sitting here today I realized that I am SO VERY ready for the weekend.  This weekend I am going to Jacksonville Beaches.  We are going to go over on Sunday and eating at Joe's Crab Shack....the most yummy place ever!  LOL  Last time I was there I had the crab dip and some type of hot shrimp and crab bites....amazing.  It is right on the beach so hopefully if the weather holds out we can go for a walk on the beach as well.  It is like a 2 hour drive but just to get away and relax will be worth it.

-2nd thought, I am SO VERY thankful for all the wonderful friends that I have made on this site.  I hope that I can be at least 1/2 of a motivation to the ones that read my blog as all of those that reply has been to me.

-3rd thought, Is it lunch time yet?  LOL I have been craving a taco so I think I am going to go to this Mexican place called La Fiesta and get a hard shell taco, ground beef, cheese, sour cream, and guacamole.  May not be the most healthy thing I have had lately....but I think it will be YUMMY!!!

-4th thought, I have completely let go of my anger toward my coworker and her negative attitude.  We are NOT talking to each other but I am not going to sweat it anymore.  Honestly she is wrong, and if she is too stubborn to admit it...screw her.  I found out that she was making some racial comments to another coworker as well...not good when you work for a predomently african american law firm.  But that is neither here nor there, I just don't have the time.  I can say that I am getting a lot more done by not conversating with her so there is a positive to every negative.

-5th thought, if you are in Florida and anywhere close to the Gainesville, FL area or would be willing to travel to the Gainesville, FL area please send me a message.  A good friend of mine is planning a OH get together, so id like to make contact with as many Floridians as possible.

Well that is about it for right now LOL....guess I should get back to work

 We all experience it from one time to another.  Being overweight we probably experienced it more than others.  Negativity from others, negativity from ourselves, negative thoughts, negative energy, negative PEOPLE!  I don't know if losing weight has made me less tolerant of these negative situations, thoughts, places, and PEOPLE but I find myself trying to avoid it at all costs.  I have a coworker that I was very close with.  She was so supportive of me during my approval process and even after surgery.  She has got her friends together to give me smaller clothes as they are all very small and I thought they was being supportive.  Well over the last 4 months or so her attitude has slowly changed.  She has gone from being supportive to just down right nasty.  Telling me I can't do this and I can't do that.  From going back to school, to being in a management position at the firm we work for, to losing more weight then I originally wanted to lose, to finding a good man, to moving to a new place...literally everything I say she tells me I can't do it.  What changed?  Well she was in a bad relationship and he dumped her.  Somehow that left her with this new found "Im better than you" attitude.  Not sure how that happened but it did.  I have listened to her shoot down every single thing I have wanted to do for months.  The thing that sticks out in my head the most, I wanted a strapless long tube dress.  The kind that all the girls wear to the beach.  She told me "nope you can't wear that you are too short and it will make you look fatter".  Well I bought a strapless tube dress and I must say I look pretty good in it LOL.  I don't think that it makes me look fatter and if I like it why does it matter?  Everyone has an opinion and I am fine with that.  But if your opinion is negative why would you say it to your friend and not try to put in it a positive manner?  Give advice, give guideance, but judging and being super negative probably isn't the way to go.  So now what was a "friendship" is now nothing because we are now not even talking to each other.  Funny how that happens.

 So yesterday I had my appointment with the surgeon....suprisingly he was the sweetest guy around.  He gave me compliments said that if I wasn't one of his patients he would never know that I use to be as big as I was.  He got on the computer and looked up all my past numbers...he did a COMPLETE 180.  While I sat there hesitant, and skeptical.  LOL  My labs were all ok except my Vitamin D and  my hemoglobin.  He said my vitamin d should be around 30 and it was 12.  He said that being my age and that I still have my "cycle" he wasn't extremely worried about the hemoglobin but suggests that I up my iron....which I haven't been taking at all so I have to start that ASAP!  He said my B12 was excellent...thanks Lisa for the info on the sublinguals....they obviously work.  One thing that worried me was that my blood pressure was 147/95.  That is stage 1 hypertension...he wasn't concerned he said it was because I was nervous....but what if.  What if it really is that high on a regular basis?  So I am a little concerned about that.  He also said that I need to exercise....so I have to work on finding a way to get my exercise in or get to a gym....something!  I hate being outside in this Florida heat so I guess a gym membership or finally going to take those Zumba classes might be my best bet.