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Happy Halloween!!  I have vowed to stay away from the Halloween candy, treats, cupcakes, cookies, and/or anything else sweet and tempting today and for the week ahead after my son goes trick or treating and brings back all the delicious not so healthy treats back to the house.  I tried to tell him this morning that trick or treating was cancelled but he didn't buy it LOL.
So I FINALLY MADE IT TO MY ORIGINALL SURGERY GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!! I am doing the happy dance right now in my chair at work.  I actually passed my goal.  My original goal was 180, that would have put me at losing 120 pounds.  Well this morning the scale said 177.6....I updated my health tracker to the 179 that I saw Friday....not sure if the scale was just trying to be funny this morning or if I really lost 2 more pounds over the weekend.  Is it normal to have this type of weight loss almost a year out?  Maybe my lifestyle chance of cutting out meat and most gluten products is paying off.  Or maybe the weekly B12 shots that I started getting 2 weeks ago is helping out?  Im not sure what it is but I am so happy that the loss has picked back up.
At the same time I am wondering what weight I will truly be happy at.  I originally thought that 180 was the weight that I wanted to be.  I remember telling myself that once I get to 180 I wouldn't want to lose another pound.  But I think I want to lose a little more.  180 feels great don't get me wrong as I am not complaining at all, it is just what is that "happy" weight?  Is there such thing?  The more I think about it I honestly don't know if anyone is ever truly happy with their body/weight.  I think about the beautiful top supermodels and they are usually on a diet, or changing their hair style, it is like a constant battle/struggle to be the best person we can be inside and out.  I do know that not eating meat and really watching my food closly has made me feel a lot better.  The B12 shots have really helped as well.  I do not feel this HUGE energy burst but it does make it a little bit easier to get out of bed in the morning.  I find that my motivation is higher to do things that I normally would frown upon doing.  So I think I will continue them for a little while longer.
I have to admit that I am a little bit FRUSTRATED with myself thought.  I love wine...it is something that I just started having a taste for before surgery.  I use to never drink wine but then I finally found one that I like so I started drinking it more often.  WELL....last night I got a bottle...not sure why but I thought "hey why not".  Got completely drunk, and now today.....hangover city....and yes I am at work.  It is noon and my motivation still hasn't come back...if you see him please send him back my may!!  Thanks LOL.  I have tried drinking water, hot tea, Emergen C, I had an egg for breakfast, then got to work and had some almonds....nothing is working.  My head is spinning, I have the shakes.  Now I fully understand why 1) I shouldn't drink and 2) I shouldn't drink the night before work.  New goal....never drink again!!!!!!!! and if I do....stick to one glass and one glass only.  This feeling is SO NOT WORTH IT!
Almost time for lunch, I brought a Boca Burger but I can't stand to sit in the office for an hour so I am going to go out.  I think to this local Sushi place.  They have these green bowls, lettuce topped with your favorite fresh ingredients.  I think I want the fried tempeh, lemongrass tofu, and veggie medley with mushrooms, asparagus, cream cheese and avocado with eel sauce and spicy sauce.  Sounds like a lot huh....for $9 bucks it should be lol.  But that will be at least 3 meals for me, so I guess it is worth it LOL

So I have officially been doing my vegetarian low gluten way of living for a full week now.  And I have to admit that it is going really good.  I never knew that vegetables and meat substitutes could be so darn yummy.  AND I am proud to say that the SCALE HAS FINALLY MOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am down to 183.2!!!!!!!   3.2 pounds away from my original goal set at surgery.  It is crazy because I literally never thought that I would be anywhere near this weight.  I went and bought a new pair of jeans this weekend.....size 14!!!  It was a victory for sure.  To be able to shop in the "normal size" clothing and actually be able to try stuff on was very liberating.  3.2 pounds....I so want to be at goal before I leave for my trip back home for Thanksgiving....I think I can make it now

I tried a few new things this weekend that I want to share:
Asparagus Sesame stir fry- simply amazing=
10 asparagus stalks
1/2 of a small to medium size onion chopped thick
I put in a little cabbage for extra crunch
Mixed all together in a wok with a little olive oil and garlic powers and adobo
added 2 tablespoons of sesame sauce when veggies were almost done
-This is probably my favorite stir fry yet.  The sesame goes great with the asparagus and onions.

Morningstar Buffalo Chik'n Nuggest
These little puppies taste so much like chicken it is unbelievable.  I baked mine so they tasted fresh, went down good and agreed with my pouch.  They do have a slightly mushier texture then real chicken nuggets but I think if I would have let t hem back a little longer that might taken care of this issue.  I had them with my homemade ranch dip.  One packet of ranch seasoning and a 16oz container of sour cream.  Next time I am going to add greek yogurt to up the protein in my dip.

Tempeh- Tempeh is made from cooked and slightly fermented soybeans and formed into a patty, similar to a very firm veggie burger. *** I officially like this SO MUCH better then tofu.  I don't think that the tofu recepies that I have been trying were really working out because of the mushy, wet texture.  But I had Tempeh fried....amazing.  It tasted so much like meat I had to google it just to see what it really was.  So I went to the store and got some for myself.  I made a little flour mixture with all my seasonings and lightly diped the tempeh in the mixture and pan fried them in a little olive oil and then diped them in ketchup....sounds crazy but it was delicious.  The firmed right up, fried to a nice golden brown and gave me that crunch I was looking for.  Tempeh is also high in protein and LOW in calories which works for me trying to lose that 3.2 pounds!!!   

I have come to the revalation....(through my current misery) that I have to have a gluten allergy.  Today is Sweet Treat Monday at the office (why is there always food around????)  I made my yummy Vanilla Gluten Free cake with Coconut Pecan icing (all time fave).   BUT another girl made a white cake with this cherry filing inbetween the layers.  So I got a little sliver.....instant misery!  NEVER again.  I haven't had this feeling in almost a week.  Bye bye gluten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TGIF....I cannot express how throughly excited I am that today is FINALLY Friday.  I want to sleep in this weekend (at least till 9am) LOL and relax.  Tonight I am going to probably be as lazy as possible.  I might do a little laundry, but nothing major.  Tomorrow I am taking my son shopping for a Halloween Costume and then tomorrow night is his big Spooktacular at his daycare.  They are going to have a haunted house, trick or treating, games, food, candy, candy, and more candy LOL.  So that should be fun.  Sunday I am going to relax some, take a walk, spend time with my son and get ready to come back to work on Monday.  Last night I had left overs....my veggie maranara was so yummy....there was no need to try or make anything else.  Not sure what I am going to have tonight.  I really want to try the tofu BBQ wings so I might run past the store and give that a try.  I have also been wanting to look for a light yet tasty salad dressing, so that is more than likely what I will do after work.
Tomorrow is my co-workers birthday so we are having "salad bar day" at work today.  I made a huge batch of egg salad last night....her favorite, so lunch is going to be salad.  For breakfast I had an over easy egg with some grilled onions and then I had some smoked almonds.  Dinner will be something yummy from wings, to some other type of tofu or tempeh.  I have not experiemented with tempeh yet but I am certainly looking forward to doing so.

I have to admit that I have never been able to resist any food temptations.  Cookies....I want one.  Cake....I want some.  Sandwiches....sure why not.  Even after surgery I would find myself testing the waters to taste the different temptations that came my way.  I work in a law office and for some reason people like to "thank us" with food.  Cookes, cakes, brownies, pasteries, fruit (which is ok...but its all covered in chocolate), different sandwich trays.....well today in walks in a HUGE bag of wraps from Jason's Deli and a HUGE bag of chips and salsa.  Super nice of the company that sent it!  So I am appreciative don't get me wrong....but the temptation was still there.  Clearly the wraps were not gluten free....or vegetarian.  There was ham, roast beef, turkey, chicken salad, and for THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER I looked at them and kept walking.  They didn't even look appealing to me because I know that after about 3 bites of the wrap I would be in bloat city and completely miserable.  I did have a few....like 6 chips and a spoonful of the salsa.  I am not bloated but I am not wanting any more of the chips/salsa either.  I had a nice little bite and I was done.
I think that once you really set your mind to something you have to truly stick with it.  Every one (here) critizes me for my choices.  I hear this line all the time "well if you aren't eating meat what are you eating?" and this one "there is nothing wrong with wheat flour...it's in everything".  My answer to the first question is "meat is murder" LOL and to the second question  I try to explain why I am cutting out the gluten and the issues that I have been having.  That is when I get the 'deer in headlights' look and they usually stop asking questions at that point LOL  For TWO whole days I have not had any bloating.  I don't truly think that "meat is murder" but I mean really it is if you think about it....but I have ate meat for 31 years...so to each there own.  I cook meat, I still buy meat, I just chose not to eat it RIGHT NOW.  That doesn't mean that I may not add fish, or lean meats back into my diet later, but right now I am going to do without.  
Last night I made the MOST delicious dish ever.  Veggie Marinara:
One bag of frozen broccoli
One bag of frozen cauliflower
1/2 onion chopped (I love onions)
package of asparagus
1/2 block firm tofu mashed and then fried up with garlic and taco seasoning
I cooked all the veggies together until almost done and drained off the excess water.  Then I added a jar of low sodium marinara sauce (meatless of course).  I chose the olive oil and garlic flavor.  I added my own seasonings, Adobo, garlic, and onion powder (I really like onions).  And the tofu, and I let this simmer up.  I added a little bit of splenda and cayenne pepper, I also like a sweet heat LOL.  When done I put a little shredded cheddar cheese on top and let it melt....OMG, it was amazing.  I brought some for lunch today and my coworker tried it...she thought it had meat in it too...and she really liked it.
Tonight I am going to try either the BBQ or the Buffalo tofurky wings and I think I am going to whip together some homemade ranch dip with greek yogurt to get a little extra protein in.  I will report back on that tomorrow!!

I have posted about this before but felt the need to revisit it again as the feeling has gotten more pronounced and more frequent.  I moved to Florida in 2007 very abruptly.  I literally woke up one day and said "Ive had enough", I packed the car, left a house FULL of furniture and drove to Florida.  I had big dreams of living in Miami on the beach (I watched CSI Miami all day every day).  But then the reality of it set in that with no job and no money saved up there was no way that I could move to Miami.  So I became friends with a girl in Central Florida and we decided to help each other out....I have been here ever since.  I like it here but it is a big college town.  There are no family like activities.  No big kid attractions unless you want to pay an arm and leg to go to Orlando or Tampa....and I still haven't made it to Miami .  I enjoy my job on the good days, but I feel stuck here as well.  No upward movement.  I started out a receptionist and worked my way up to case manager....there is really no where else to go.  I am starting back to college (online) in a few weeks, so that will keep me busy.  I am bound and determined to get my BA degree and hopefully after that work on my Masters.  I refuse to allow myself to stay in a position because I chose not to further my education.  My associates degree is great....but I need to do more.  
I decided yesterday that I would honestly be willing to relocate anywhere in the US if I found the right job!  So I started applying.  It is hard to find a job in other cities because most employers want to meet you in person.  But I had a reply back from a position in New Orleans and one in Richmond, VA.  I do not know anyone in New Orleans....but I think the city is full of character.  In Richmond I do have a friend that is a sheriff's deputy that could show me around and help me get aquainted with the area.  But I still feel that I want to test the waters, see what else is out there.  But then I think about my son....he is making friends here, he has friends at his school and loves his daycare.  I hate up uproot him but at the same time if I was able to provide a better life for him somewhere else I think it would be worth it.  The overall mentality of a lot of people here is that they are owed something from everyone.  There are a lot of people here that don't want to work and think that they don't have to work.  Jobs here don't really pay a lot of money for what you have to do and put up with.  And then there is the "guy" situation.  I kind of feel like no matter what I do as long as I am in this city....he will be a thorn in my side.....ALWAYS.  And for that reason alone I would love a new start!

Now to the weight loss stuff   I started my vegetarian low gluten way of life on this past Sunday.  And I honestly have really enjoyed it so far.  It is something new and exciting.  I also love learning about all the new style of foods that I can make and things I can try.  I have a new receipe that I am going to try this weekend:

Cheesy Zucchini Boats

 

Ingredients
2 large zucchini
3 tablespoons Italian bread crumbs, divided
1 cup shredded Italian-blend cheese
1/2 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper

Prep

• Preheat oven to 400°F.
• Cut zucchini in half lengthwise; scoop out seeds and pulp, leaving a 1/4-inch-thick shell. Place zucchini in baking dish.

Steps

1. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of the bread crumbs down center of zucchini halves. Combine all three cheeses with Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Divide mixture evenly into zucchini; sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons bread crumbs.
2. Bake 20–25 minutes or until zucchini are tender when pierced with a fork and top is golden. Serve.

 Total Time: 35 minutes  Servings: 4

CALORIES (per 1/4 recipe) 210kcal; FAT 13g; CHOL 35mg; SODIUM 620mg; CARB 9g; FIBER 1g; PROTEIN 16g; VIT A 30%; VIT C 20%; CALC 45%; IRON 6%

I found this on Publix.com from their Apron collection. I am going to tweak the ingredients a little bit and leave out the bread crumbs, I know it is a thickening agent but I am hoping it will all stick together without it.  I will probably add some cheddar cheese as well.  I will post about it come Monday. 
I have been keeping my calories down but still no movement on the scale.  So I need to step it up somehow and the only thing I can think of is with exercise LOL....who would have thought.  So I am going to do everything in my power to find the energy to take a walk after work today.  I have the food and eating thing down now I just need to add exercise.  I am driving back to Indiana on November 23....I would really like to be at goal by then....I have over a month and 7 pounds to go?  Is it possible?  I believe so, if I really push myself and stay focused.  
On a vegetarian note....did you know that there are tofu lunch meats, sausages, burgers, all kinds of stuff.  I had no idea.  Also they have gluten free chips, salsas, tortillas, soups, breads, etc.  It is amazing.

Today is my thrid day on my vegetarian low gluten diet.  And I feel AMAZING!!!!!!!  I am still slightly bloated.  And it still happens with almost every meal but no where near the discomfort and pressure that I was having before.  I also kicked the 5 Hour Energy's starting today.  I drove right past the gas station and while I wanted to stop....I didn't!  LOL  Today my eats were:

Breakfast-Cinnamon Chex w/organic soy milk
Snack-1/2 cup cottage cheese w/feta cheese
Lunch- teriyaki veggie stir fry
Snack- slice of gluten free cake and maybe some cheese
Dinner- not sure yet.  Maybe a simple salad with just romaine and feta, maybe a boiled egg....and this new AMAZING Ken's Balsimic with Honey dressing!  To die for LOL

Well yesterday I started my vegetarian- low Gluten diet.  The vegetarian part was simple....the low Gluten part was SO HARD.  Everything has gluten in it.  I went to the store and got gluten free cake mix and this yummy coconut pecan gluten free icing and baked a cake.  I only at a tiny sliver of a piece but it was delicious.  I think I had to show myself that I could still have a few yummy treats because I was sitting in my room looking at all the things that I couldn't eat and it was overwhelming.  I had a yummy Boca Burger with feta cheese for dinner....as good as any regular cheeseburger .  I also found this really good Cinnamon Chex cereal that is gluten free and an organic soy milk...also gluten free that is really tasty.
Sounds great right....well I woke up this morning and decided I would bring my breakfast to work instead of eating at home.  Got my son ready....we get in the car and I start to feel super tired.  So I stop and get a 5Hour Energy.  I drank it probalby 30 minutes ago and I am feeling the tightness in my stomach.  I haven't even started to eat my breakfast and already feeling the beginnings signs of bloating.  So since I drank the 5 Hour Energy on an empty stomach....that just might be the culprit of my morning bloating.  Which is upsetting seeing that I use those energy drinks to get my morning motivation.  I am sure it is another "addiction" in my head.  I think that I HAVE to have the energy drinks or I will be so miserable and tired all day.  I just have to find the will power to NOT drink them for a week or so....and make sure that I go to bed at a normal time and I am sure I will be fine.  Everything leads back to will power, motivation, and responsibility.  If I know it is going to make me miserable....why drink it....and at the same time....I am still yawning so obviously it didn't do that much for me in the first place LOL
So today I am having:
--1/2 cup of Cinnamon Chex with organic soy milk
--medium pear (maybe)
--Amy's Rice Mac and Cheese (never had this but I am going to give it a try)
--Cottage cheese with a little garlic feta
--Morningstar Buffalo Chik'n wings

If I can stick to this I will be at around 900 calories....which is right where I want to be.  

Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!



Day Two Update---- so the Amy's Rice Mac & Cheese was DELICIOUS...and made me bloat up just like a balloon.  I had to go walk it was so bad.  I would recommend this to ANYONE who likes a good Mac&Cheese.  The rice noodles were amazing and the cheese sauce....perfect!!!  I think tomorrow I am going to try a veggie stir fry in a light sauce or just some garlic and olive oil.  Trying to change things up a little bit so I don't get bored!!!

As some of you know I am from Southern Indiana.  I moved to Florida rather quickly in 2007....needed something new, was sick of my job and the people I was associating with so I up and moved one day.  I went back home Thanksgiving 2008 when my father had open heart surgery.  I haven't been back since....BUT I am super excited to say that my vacation request has been approved for November 23-28th so I am going home for Thanksgiving and my birthday (Nov 26) this year.  It is going to be SO VERY nice to see all the people that I haven't seen since 2008.  It will also be nice to see the looks on their face when they see that I have lost a few pounds!!!!!  LOL    I booked my hotel today and since I just got a new car a few months ago I think I am just going to drive it....show it do my dad!!  LOL.
I have so many close true friends in Indiana so it will be so nice to see those who were good friends before I had surgery and who was there for me when I was dealing with the issues with my weight.  I remember going to appointment after appointment trying to get approved in Indiana and never got anywhere.  A friend of mine had an open RNY in like 2005-2006 and lost a TON of weight.  So it will be nice to share stories with her and compare our experiences.  All the guys that I had crushes on and they never even knew that I existed.  And the girls from  high school that was always so negative towards me because I wasn't the long haired cheerleader LOL.  I will get to see them ALL.  I am from a very small town and its sad but not a lot of people have ventured outside to other places.  So I look forward to seeing each and every one of them!    My grandmother has never seen my son, she was in really bad health right after I had Alex so we never went to visit, so I look forward to seeing her.  I also want to take him to my mom's grave so I can introduce him to my mother...his grandmother!  It should be a very fun, exciting, emotional trip.  And I CAN"T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I have even more reason to stop BSing around with my food....and get things back going in the right direction!  #motivation  LOL

Last night I was in the bathroom for HOURS....TMI I know LOL.  But I am going to look at it as a positive and NOT a negative.  I woke up this morning and honestly felt better, less bloated, lighter....the scale didn't seem to think so as it read 188.6....but even that is ok too!  For breakfast I had an egg over easy and a few slivers of onion.  I tried to pay attention to chewing better and counting to at least 20 between bites (which is something that I struggle with every day). I felt pretty good.  But all that bathroom action had me feeling drowsy so I stopped and bought a 5 Hour Energy.....instant bloat.  Now I am sitting at work miserable in my tight size 11-12 pants wishing I had wore something different....wanting nothing more than to unbutton these darn things and release the jaws of life grip that they have around my stomach.
While occuping the bathroom last night I did quite a lot of reading on my phone about IBS, dumping syndrome, bloating, RNY issues, and then this morning I read up on gluten intolerance.   I guess I never realized that dumping syndrome consists of MORE than just vomiting.  You can have early stage and late stage symptoms of dumping syndrome.  I think I might be experiencing some late stage dumping syndrome symptoms.  I paid close attention to what was going on last night as I ate some sugar free chocolate covered almonds.  About 30 mins after I ate them I got this super hot flush feeling over my face, neck, arms.  A fatigue feeling, uncomfortable.  Then my stomach started rumbling, the tightness returned....and then I rushed to the bathroom (again).  Looking back these are the symptoms that I get A LOT!  Especially the hot feeling and the rumbling of my stomach.  It literally sounds like waterfalls or something of that nature.  It is very strange.  But when that happens I know that I need to high tail it to the nearest bathroom.  What is strange is that you can have the EXACT same symptoms from dumping syndrome, IBS, and a gluten intolerance.  About 20 mins after eating the almonds my stomach bloated up again was super extended and the pressure pain was there.  It is really strange.
So...my first "note to self" stay away from 5 Hour Energy drinks....this is going to be something hard to do because I wake up every morning feeling like dog poo.  I don't think I am sleeping as good or as long as I should be.  There is simply not enough hours in the night!  Second plan of action "note to self' stay away from Gluten products.  Gluten is found in wheat, barley, rye, malt.  Gluten can also be added to foods as a thickening agent (Dextrin).  Dumping is caused when the contents of the stomach are "dumped" into the small intestine too quickly.  Foods to avoid include sweets, sweetened drinks, candy, cakes, cookies.  But some articles have stated that people "dump" off different things.  So while it MAY be sweets for me it could be regular bread for someone else.  I read that taking Fiber suplements can help...this is something I have not been doing.  Drinking lots of water....something I plan on doing right now, and keeping a log of what foods affect you and what foods dont.  My list is pretty short right now....5 Hour Energy drinks, and chocolate covered almonds are on the DO NOT eat list for right now.  I am on my first 20 fl. oz. bottle of water and plan on drinking at least 2 more while I am at work.  For lunch I was going to have a salad....but with the salad dressing, cheese, veggies, meat there is a lot going on.  So instead I am going to go to Fresh Market and get some olive and cheese mixture.  It is basically....olives and either feta or mozz cheese mixed together.  Simple tasty and not a lot of ingredients....and good on the wallet.   I also brought some cottage cheese for a snack....we will see how that goes.  And I plan on drinking at least one maybe two cups of hot tea.  Hot tea always seems to calm my stomach....and right now the way these pants are cutting me in half I need something to make the bloat go down and stay down.
Still no reply from my surgeon's office or my email to the NUT....although that is not shocking to me at all.  Honestly I probably will NOT hear from them at all.  I am going to check with my job today on when we will have insurance so I can find a PCP and start addressing issues like this with them.
So....just so I can put it out there--Foods I am Going To Avoid:
Potatos, breads, pastas, rice, fatty foods, fried foods, processed foods

Foods I am Going To have More of:
Cheese, lean meats, fresh fruits, veggies, cottage cheese (maybe), low fat dressings/toppings for salads, some lettuce (lettuce sometimes upsets my tummy).  I am going to try the Boca Burgers, Tofu, and different veggie dishes as well.  Might as well try a little bit of everything while I am experimenting with what makes my tummy happy....and meets my protein needs.
I have not been drinking any protein shakes as when I was I was having the same bloating run to the bathroom issues.  But maybe I need to add them back in there, a sugar free flavor and see how that works.

Well ITS FRIDAY!!!!  And I CANNOT wait till 5:30!!!!!!!

It simply has to be....because when you hit rock bottom there is truly no where to go but up right!?!?!?!?!?  I am completly frustrated with myself today.  Today is my 2 year anniversary at my job so they ordered in lunch.  1/2 salad and 1/2 sandwiches from Panera.  I had planned on having soup today for lunch.  But when the salads got here I had probably 1/4 of my coworkers salad.  Then about an hour later I decided to eat another 1/2 a salad (they were portioned out in 1/2 size servings).  Then about 2 hours later I ate the roast beef and cheddar cheese off the sandwich and threw away all the bread.  Might not sound like much....but it really is considering I shouldn't be eating like that.  While the thought of stretching my pouch is SO very real I truly think I have a food addiction.  If it is there I want to eat it.  I sit at my desk, and the afternoons are even worse, and I think about food.  It is crazy.  Maybe when I finally get health insurance I will do see a therapist because this is clearly an addiction.
I really want to work on getting this food thing under control.  With the intense bloating that I have had going on, over eating is CLEARLY not going to be a help.  I would really like to remove meat products from my diet all together.  But that is going to take willpower.  Just like turning down the 1/2 salad, or simply not eating the roast beef and cheese off the sandwich takes willpower which I clearly do not have.  My stomach has literally been upset all day long.  So there is no real reason for me eating as much as I did.  So tomorrow IS a new day.  And if I can't promise anyone else anything I am going to promise myself that I WILL NOT overeat and I am going to literally watch everything I eat and write down what causes the bloating and what doesn't.  Today....everything has caused it.  From the egg I had for breakfast, to the cottage cheese snack, to the lettuce, to the roast beef.  I emailed my NUT so hopefully she will get back with me.  I also called the surgeon....but they NEVER get back with me so I don't see getting a call back from them.  
Tomorrow I am going to try something a little different.  Super small portions and tons of water.  From my reading water is suppose to help with bloating.  I also read that bloating can be a sign of dumping....but is it possible to dump from something I ate last week and was fine?  I have been eating cottage cheese since the very beginning and never had an issue.  I haven't ever had an issue with hot tea either but today even that caused my tummy to stick out a little further.  I do that pregnancy wobble when I try to walk it is that uncomfortable.
I promise myself right now TODAY 10/13/2011 at 4:41PM (it should be 5:30 by the way) that I WILL NOT allow myself to feel this way for even one more second.  If it IS because I am eating the wrong things or too much that IS something I have complete control over so there is NO excuse to be miserable.  Going to take a long walk tonight, and eat very light if I eat anything at all.  And tomorrow I will start over!!!!  Can't break a promise to myself right!!!  Why would anyone else keep their word to me if I can't even keep my word to myself!!