I DON’T REMEMBER THE DAY IN FEBRUARY WHEN I WAS FEELING SO RESTLESS AND TIRED AND FED UP WITH BEING A LARGE PERSON WHO FELT TRAPPED IN A JOB OR LIFE THAT I WOULDN’T CHOSE TO LIVE IF I WERE SMALLER. BUT IT WAS A MORNING WHERE I WAS FEELING VERY DEPRESSED ON THE DRIVE TO KINSTON FOR WORK. I WAS FEELING SO SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY WEIGHT AND THE ISSUES AROUND IT. I HAD THE HORRIBLE BREATH DUE TO HOW BIG MY STOMACH GOT AND GERD. I WAS PRAYING TO GOD FOR A POSSIBLE SOLUTION. SOMEHOW, MY THOUGHTS STRAYED TO AN EX-COLLEGUE WHO HAD THE GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY. SHE SEEMED SO HAPPY!! SHE HAD NO REGRETS. SHE QUIT HSS AND WENT TO A JOB IN KINSTON . I HAD NOT SEEN HER FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS. I THOUGHT OR PRAYED THAT I WISH I COULD TALK TO HER AND FIND OUT WHO HER SURGEON WAS AND SUCH. I WAS CLOSE TO TEARS. I WAS FEELING REALLY LOW. BUT I CONTINUE TO PRAY.

            WELL, I WALKED INTO WALGREENS AND THERE WAS A FAMILIAR FACE AND SMILE GREETING ME AS I WALKED IN. SHE KNEW INSTANTLY WHO I WAS BUT I DIDN’T KNOW HER INSTANTLY BECAUSE SHE HAD CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW HER. WE STARTED TO TALK. I GAVE HER A HUG AND SHE WAS SO SMALL. I TOLD HER I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE SURGERY AND SHE ENCOURAGED ME TO DO WHAT I FEEL BEST. SHE DIDN’T HAVE REGRETS. WE FOUND A SCRAP OF PAPER TO WRITE DOWN HER SURGEON’S OFFICE NUMBER. SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT ENROLLING IN A MASTER’S COURSE AND I SO HAPPEN JUST STARTED AN MBA PROGRAM AT LIBERTY . WE EXCHANGE INFO ABOUT EACH THING WE WERE INTERESTED IN. SHE SAID IT WAS JUST MEANT FOR US TO MEET THAT DAY. IT HAD TO BE. ITS MORE THAN A COINCIDENCE WHEN I WAS JUST PRAYING ABOUT IT.

            I CALLED THE OFFICE ECU PHYSICIANS BRODY SCHOOL OF MEDICINE SURGERY DEPARTMENT AND LEFT A MESSAGE. THEY CALLED BACK WITHIN THE WEEK. I WAS SOOOOO HAPPY. IT WAS JUST IN TIME FOR A GROUP ORIENTATION THEY SCHEDULED FOR MARCH 12, 2007. IF THAT WASN’T A SIGN …I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!!!  I AM SO GLAD THAT I HAVE HEARD SO MANY GREAT THINGS ABOUT THIS TRAINING SCHOOL. IT HAS A LONG RECORD OF EXCELLENCE. WHAT IS FUNNY IS THAT THIS IS THE SAME AREA I WENT TO SUMMER CAMP IN THE EIGHT GRADE.  I DIDN’T KNOW THEN BUT I KNOW NOW THAT THE ESTABLISHMENT RECEIVES ACCREDIATION AND GRANT AND OTHER MONIES FROM SUCESSFUL SURGERIES AND TREATMENTS. SO I KNOW WHERE THEIR INCENTIVES ARE.

            ALSO DURING THIS TIME, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I HAD REAL MEDICAL INSURANCE. I HAD MEDICAID UNTIL I WAS 21. I FELT SO PROUD THAT I COULD PAY FOR MY INSURANCE COPAYS AND I HAD A REAL CARD. IT’S A GREAT FEELING. ITS LIBERATING UNTIL LATER WHEN I GET SOME BILLS. IN FEB 2006 I WENT TO DR. PAULA IVES AT GOSHEN AND EXPRESSED SOME CONCERNS AND SHE HONESTLY TOLD ME THAT THEY COULDN’T REFER ME FOR TESTS UNLESS I WANTED EXPENSIVE MEDICAL BILLS. SO I TOOK HER ADVICE AND IN FEB 07 I LEARNED MORE ABOUT THE INSURANCE OFFERED AT HSS. THE WHOLE TIME I WORKED FULLTIME I COULD HAVE RECEIVED INSURANCE. BUT I WAS TOLD HOW BAD IT WAS. IT IS ACTUALLY REASONABLE FOR SINGLE PEOPLE WITHOUT CHILDREN. I FELT SO DUMB FOR WAISTING ALL THAT TIME WITHOUT INSURANCE. WELL ANY I GOT IT IN FEB 2007 AND SET UP AN APPOINTMENT WITH GOSHEN TO ADDRESS MY MAJOR CONCERNS. WEIGHT, STOMACH LUMPS, AND FERTILITY. I DECIDED THAT I WAS GOING TO USE THIS INSURANCE UP AS MUCH AS I CAN. I DESERVE TO GET SOMETHING FROM A JOB I DIDN’T FEEL APPRECIATED AT. I AM DETERMINE TO CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE  FOR THE BETTER AND I HAVE TO START WITH MY HEALTH FIRST. MY HEALTH IS THE PRIORITY, EDUCATION COMES NEXT, AND THE REST IS UNWRITTEN.

FEBRUARY 14, 2007

            FIRST DOCTOR’S APPT WITH MEDICAL INSURANCE WITH DR. PAULE IVEY AT GOSHEN . I TOLD HER MY CONCERNS OF FERTILITY, WEIGHT, STOMACH. SHE REFERRED ME TO OB/GYN AND GI SPECIALIST AND DIETICIAN.

FEBRUARY 28, 2007

            HAD AN APPT WITH DR.AGARPATHY. GI SPECIALIST. TOLD HIM CONCERNS ABOUT LUMPS IN STOMACH. HE SAID TI WAS RELATED TO IBS. HE PRESCRIBED SOME MEDICINE TO RELAX INTESTINAL MOVEMENT WICH CAUSED THE LUMPY FEELING. HE DIDN’T TOUCH ME AND I HAD TO PAY $70. THE MEDICINE WORKS WONDERS BUT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING FOR GERD. MY HOPE IS THAT GASTRIC BYPASS WILL HELP.

MARCH 12, 2007

            FIRST GASTRIC BYPASS ORIENTATION. RECEIVED SEVERAL INFORMATIONAL PACKS. BEGAN A BINDER FROM INFO. I WAS NERVOUS AND SCARED THAT I WOULD ARRIVE TOO LATE. I UNDER ESTIMATED THE DELAY TIME FROM KINSTON TO GREENVILE DUE TO TRAFFIC AND CONSTRUCTION. I WAS GETTING VERY FRUSTRATED. WE WERE TOLD THE DOOR WILL NOT OPEN FOR LATE ARRIVALS. I BURST IN AT EXACTLY 4PM. MOST OF THE SEATS WERE FULL. BUT BABEEEE…..I WENT THROUGH AND I DARED SOMEONE TO TELL ME THAT I COULDN’T STAY. I GOT ME A SEAT ON THE FRONT ROW AND WAS READY. I FELT NO SHAME IN IT AT ALL. THERE WERE PEOPLE OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES. SOME I THOUGHT DIDN’T NEED THE SURGERY …SOME I THOUGHT SHOULD OF GOT THE SURGERY YEARS AGO. I WASN’T THE BIGGEST PERSON IN THE ROOM FOR ONCE. I ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PART OF THE STOMACH THAT IS LEFT AND HOW THE BYPASS AFFECTS IBS. UNFORTUNATELY IT DOESN’T HELP OR HURT IT SINCE IBS OCCURS IN THE LARGE INTESTINE AND THE SMALL. I LEFT FEELING GREAT AND RELIEVED. NOW I WAIT TILL THE PHYSICIAN OFFICE CONTACT ME WITH THE NEXT APPOINTMENT.