So here I am finally. On a quick break from school until Tuesday. Only got a 4 day weekend between sessions, but I console myself with the fact that I am getting my classes done quicker this way...sigh. Weight is still coming off and I'm loosing LOTS of inches. Have gone from highest weight of 315 to 183. 105 of that has just been in the last 7 months. Oh My what a difference. I love not having to take pain pills every 4 hours just to endure life. Don't even take tylenol anymore. Love all the wonderful little things that I never even thought about before. My moments include tying my shoes straight instead of over to the inside cuz I couldn't reach to tie them the right way. Just had that one today.... funny stuff like that. It's great to be able to cross my legs and sit in those flimsy plastic chairs without worrying that I was going to bust them and embarress myself and my whole family. Stomach seems to be settling down some now. I still think it's weird how some days I can eat things that other days they just won't sit right.

So check out my latest picture.... amazing changes have taken place, huh? God is GOOD!

OK...I know it's been forever and I really do regret not keeping up with this journal. I have been swamped with going back to school after almost 20 years. BUT the good news is that I got all A's this semester and now have a couple weeks off before summer session starts. Guess I still have "IT". Really had my doubts about going back to school, but it's coming back to me.

Now for the weight loss journey. It's been hard. Hard to keep all the balance that is involved in this. Really hard to get enough protein, water AND remember to take all those vitamins. I've lost 80 pounds in almost 5 months and I've got LOTS of loose hanging skin everywhere. Look great in clothes (just bought a new swimsuit in a size 16 and before surgery was wearing a TIGHT 28!!!), but try to avoid the mirror when naked....eeeeewwwww!!!! I have been able to cut out the pain killers completely and that was a HUGE thing. My arthritis and bursitus are much better without all the extra pounds and I have a lot more energy and drive now. Not near as much depression and I'm on the go all the time. Work out at the gym 6 days a week and do the aqua aerobics for people with joint issues (works out well for me and I LOVE the little old lady that teaches it. she must be at least 80 and we all struggle to keep up with her....HA!), and then try to get my time in on the bike when at home for my cardiac. Life is FULL and it is amazing how much I can do now! I must have really been a vegie before when I was heavy. I do know that I hurt so bad I didn't hardly go anywhere or do anything. I thank God that I had the surgery even though I do struggle with a lot of tummy issues. There are times when it feels like I've gone from a compulsive overeater to a bulimic, but don't even get to enjoy the binge part of that disorder... there is still a lot of trial and error that goes on with learning what will or will not set well with my tender tummy. Have a lot of phlegm issues and acid reflux that meds don't seem to handle completely. Oh well. They say that this too shall pass and I'm enjoying the benefits.

The little standstills are tough, but I've learned from all of you that chances are if the scale isn't moving the inches are probably still coming off so I rely on my tape measure to keep me feeling OK about all of this. Sometimes I almost feel resentful that I can't eat this or that, but I soon get over that when I look at where I was and where I am now.

Would I do it over again??? In a heartbeat! My life is SO much better now and I am relatively pain free (I will always have a certain amount of pain due to the severity of my arthritis and bursitus, but it's tolerable now and med free). God is good and so was my surgeon. (his follow-up sucks bad, but the surgery was fine!)

Once again I want to thank all of you that have been with me throughout my journey and I continue to pray for all of you.

Lainy

This month has just gone screaming past me. Weight loss is coming along. 37 pounds since surgery and it's been about 6 weeks. Dropping a LOT of inches and sizes. Have already gone from a tight 28 to loose 24 in pants. School is going really well, but have some scary moments along the way. Spanish is esp hard. Think I'll go ahead and get a tutor to help me sort it all out. The other classes are tough, but I think I'm handling them ok so far. Just been sooooo many years since I was in college. That's ok though. I am recreating myself and stretching outside of my comfort zone. HoneyMan seems to have all kinds of ideas already of all the neat toys he'll be able to buy with all the extra money I'll be bringing in after I get those degrees under my belt....LOL.

I know everyone says this, but I will honestly try to get on here and post more often.

I can not believe how wonderful you have all been. You have all lifted me up with your prayers and tucked me safely in God's loving arms and I've felt the waves of love coming from all of you as I've trudged along through the last couple days. Been trying to stay busy and distracted amidst all the phone calls and emotions. Thought I would answer a few of the questions that have been brought up along the way though.

My Mom was 83 years old. Right after my Sister died last year my Mom wound up in ICU with palpitations and pneumonia. (Dr's felt that a lot of it was combinations of having lost her second child in a year ((brother had died the previous Christmas)) and complications from her general poor health/bad heart/weight/diabetes). We drove up to Washington and stayed in hotels for almost a month until she had received her pacemaker and got her settled into a good nursing home up there. (actually it was one that I had worked in years before myself when I was still doing nursing work.) We came home, but soon after that she became confused, went into a different reality and started having some horrific hallucinations. Some form of dementia they said...... all of the sudden my best friend forever, my constant companion (even from so far away) was gone. She wouldn't talk to me on the phone anymore. She couldn't read or answer mail. She had just disappeared from my life. Whenever anything would happen in my life I would call her, talk it over, share and confide. Nothing. Gone. I continued to send cards and flowers, but the Mom I knew and loved wasn't there anymore. Then fast forward to Tuesday...... I got a call from my Brother's (the one that died) adopted son that lives up in Washington and he informed me of my Mom's passing.....What the Hell? The nursing home didn't even bother to call me and let me know!!! He said they were looking for my Sister to make the arrangements with and found his number.(but they couldn't find MINE????) Anyway I got hold of Sister's boyfriend and let him know what was going on, she called me later that night and told me....get this...."you better hope to Hell you don't come up here or I'll kill you". Obviously sis went back to the drugs and alcohol, ya think? So basically I've lost a Mom and Sister through all this I guess. But you know....its' OK, because I am choosing to live a healthier and happier life in Texas. I miss my 2 girls and the grandbabies horribly that are still up there. My life here is good though. I have been able to find the soulmate I only dreamt of before, I've been able to own a beautiful home with him and we have created a loving and nurturing environment for ourselves here. I have let go of my addictions to cigarettes, caffeine and sugar. I exercise, am losing weight and I have my life back. I have signed up for and am starting classes at the college to finish my degree that I had put on hold while I was raising my girls alone. It's MY turn and I'm determined to create the best life I can for myself and live it fully. I can do so and honor the memory of a loving, kind and wonderful Mom knowing that she gave me the tools to build a better life and I'm not going to let her down.

Thank You again for all of the love, support and comfort I have received from you. God Bless you All.

There won't be a service at my Mom's request. Might sound odd, but she was a firm believer that if you wanted to come see her or send flowers, do it while she was still alive to enjoy them. Can't say that I blame her. Sounds about right to me too.

Ahhhhhh another day in paradise. Had my post op appt with Dr Patel yesterday. About fell through the floor when they took my blood pressure. 105/64. I just stared at the nurse. I had begun to think that 145/95 was my normal.....HA! Dr released me for pretty much full use of the gym/pool so I don't have to just be stuck riding the bike anymore. Have lost a total of 22.5 pounds now in 3 1/2 wks. Knowing I won't HAVE to ever loose this weight again feels great. It's gone..... good riddance.  He put me on Stage 3 diet....funny thing was he never bothered with stage 2.

Starting to get really nervous about the whole school thing. Going back after all these years is scary. I keep wondering if my brain is still functioning well enough to handle all the work. I guess we'll see. Registration is Tuesday. (I know I can, I know I can, I know I can)