This is me in may of 2006, Feeling misirable. I just found this picture in an old email from a work cinco De Mayo Party.... It's enough to make me cry!

Well, it's been a looooonnnnggg time! 

I am down to 228 from my consult weight of 325. Weight on day of surgery was 299. I guess that I am happy with that. I really can't complain. I'm doing well. Trying to exercise and get my protein in. The exercise part has been very hard to do. I've been working 10-12 hrs a day since January. (It's tax season- yeah for me) And my 5 yr old is now playing t-ball, so that has been taking up 2 nights a week and Saturday morning. But, I'm trying to get back on track this week. Another thing that I have unfortunately found is that I can eat just about anything. But, I don't. And, I never have that "full" feeling. This is a scary thing. I'm very concerned. I have not lost any weight in a month. I only lost about 6 inches last month. So, I'm worried. Worried that this is it. That I'm not going to make my goal. I just need to keep working at it.

I'm feeling a little better these days, went back on my Cymbalta and already see a difference. I'm starting to feel alot better about the progress that I've made so far. A real eye opener is when you have more clothes on boxes or bags than you do hanging in the closet. I can no longer get away with safety pinning my pants.... lol

People are really starting to notice too. Many people from work have been commenting and telling me how great I'm looking. I'm usually not one that likes attention, but I'm learning to embrace it. 

I have my big formal christmas party for my company comming up on Saturday. I am kind of excited about going because I look great in my dress. Last year, I didn't go because I was so uncomfortable with myself. It helps that the dress is 4 sizes smaller that what I would have worn last christmas.

I am so depressed. There are just so many things going on, Financial troubles, marriage troubles, problems with my 5 year old son, the possibility of losing my job to outsourcing (India). I am just not in the Christmas spirit. I am not doing any of the "fun" christmas things that I usually do. Have thought about NOT putting up a tree this year. But, with a 5 year old child, that's not going to work. I have absolutely no modivation to do anything this year. All that I do is cry, if I'm not crying, I'm angry. I'm not sure what to do. Prior to surgery, I was on Cymbalta, but stopped taking it after surgery, because I thought that I no longer needed it and felt fine without it. Now, I'm not so sure.  I'm hoping that I can still have a happy holiday. 

The good news, My BMI went from 49.4 Extremely Obese to 38.6 just Obese. I have lost 72 lbs so far. I barley notice any difference......

Wow, It's been a long time since I last posted. Not alot has really changed though. I have been back to work for 3 weeks. 3 long weeks! It was so hard to go back after being off for a month! I can't ask for a better group of people to work with though. They are very supportive and encouraging. They don't act like the food police, questioning everything that I put in my mouth. 

I have lost about 57 pounds or so. I stopped getting on the scale every five minutes! So, I'm not sure of the exact amount. I know that I have really lost some inches. When I go to the gym, I will have them measure me. Then, I'll know for sure.

I'll keep you  posted!

Laure