Take my Granddaughter to Disneyworld!

From my earliest childhood I can remember being teased by the other kids for being overweight, I was not severly so, but enough that the kids poked fun at me.  Can you believe that at the age  of 4 I was treated for malnutrition, perhaps that was the problem, maybe my family started overfeeding me at that point.  Then as a teenager, I lost my 'baby fat' as my family called it, but I can remember my grandfather teasing me when I was about 15, that the boys wouldn't know whether to grope me front or back, that motivated me to lose weight and by the end of that summer I was wearing a size 7, the only time in my life I ever did.  At 17 I eloped with a man 10 years my senior and 3 months later got pregnant with my 1st child, I was afraid of getting fat and when I weighed in just prior to delivery, at the hospital, I was 188 lbs., 47 lbs. more than I had started at, by the time of my 6 week check-up, I was down to my pre-pregnancy weight, however, in between each pregnancy I gained about 25 lbs.  At 22 my husband left me for another woman, I was 5 months pregnant with my youngest child and after giving birth to her, at my 6 week check up my weight was 183, after which I went to the Diet Doctor, got some pills and went back to smoking cigarettes, so by the following summer I was down to a svelte 150 lbs., well svelte to me (lol). . .  I was almost 5'3" and was a size 13 and feeling good, though I wanted to lose another 30 lbs., I was never able to get below that 150 lbs. and when I look at a picture I have from my son's kindergarten graduation and I actually looked pretty good. 

The years passed and my weight was up and down.  I tried WW, Medifast, the cabbage diet, the Atkins diet, Nutri-system, slimfast, low fat, low carb, LA Weight Loss, Fit for Life, you name it, I probably tried it at one point or another with varying degrees of success or failure. I joined a gym or two along the way, but the weight always came back and I remember reading once (or perhaps hearing it), that our bodies have a set weight point and when we go below it, it just kind of remembers and wants the fat back, I felt doomed.  In 1995 I once again had my weight below 200 lbs., I think I was around 188 lbs., I remember being so excited that I could buy XLs in some stores and be able to fit into them, then I met a man, who said that he loved me the way I was and not to worry about my weight so much.  

 2001 was a horrible year for many people, I had worked in the World Trade Center for 8 years prior to that infamous September day and people I knew died on that day and, in that same year, I had been dealing with my Mom's failing health, related to heart disease and diabetes, all results of the "fat gene", as well as the death throes of my marriage to that guy who told me not to worry about my weight.  My Mom died on October 13, 2001, 3 days after my 2nd grandchild had been born and 1 month before she would have been 66, too young by today's standards to die.  I was overwhelmed and overweight, not caring about too many things, depression settled in and I gained more weight over the next year, I went to a doctor and he put me on anti-depressants for a time.  At the end of 2002 I didn't know how, but my life was going to change.  Christmas that year (2002) my son got engaged to his girlfriend of 7 years, it was a happy occasion, until just after the holidays, my older daughter's husband decided he was too depressed and needed to leave home.  That motivated me to do something and I began to seek ways to improve my life, rid myself of the things that were causing my unhappiness.  My son's decision to marry and the fact that he lived 90 miles south in an area that was still affordable, gave me an idea, one that might help me achieve a dream and, in the process, be able to help my daughter and grandchildren if she wanted to be a part of it, and so I began to look for my own home near to where my son would be settling down.  It all came together rather quickly, however, my daughter decided to move to Florida where she felt it was more beneficial to her, where her father, stepmom and sister all lived.  So we both moved out of New York at the end of March 2003, days apart to begin new chapters in our lives. 

My son married in Sept '03, we were all there to enjoy that big day and I remember being uncomfortable when they took the family pictures; I've never liked my photos, who does, but when you're over 200 lbs. on a frame that is meant to hold about 130 lbs., well I know if you're reading this, you probably understand.  

I now have, almost 4 grandchildren, and this past March when I was visiting Florida to spend my oldest grandchild's 9th birthday with her, I asked her what would you like to do for her special day; she answered that she would like to go to Disneyworld.  My heart sunk, because I knew that I was not able to do that with her and I had to tell her that Grandma can't do that with you. I can't spend more than 2 hours on my feet without my back, legs and feet being in pain.  How sad is that, I am 51 (52 in June), I don't look or feel my age, except for the weight that causes my body stress that keeps me from being an active participator in life.  That is just one of the BIG reasons I want to and need to go forward with WLS.  I've seen the results of it in my own family, 4 people in my family have had various procedures done and they are all living the quality of life that I hope to have and enjoy long into my golden years (lol), instead of being a prisoner of my own size.  Thanks for reading my story.  I hope to be on the "losers bench" before the end of this 2007!  Here's to really living life!