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on August 24, 2007 7:36 am
Hi! I have been reflecting a lot lately about my life and this rollercoaster I've been on. I simply want off it. I wonder if my ass will ever get in gear and lose the 20 or so pounds I need to lose in order to be scheduled for surgery. I know if I don't do it soon then I'm going to have to have another psy evaluation bc my old one will be a year old. So, no more. I'm putting my foot down. I need to change my behavior now and if I can't do it now then what makes me think I can do it after surgery? I need to focus on myself for a change.
I have started the day off right tough by working out to Denise Austin and today is also Day 1 of my liquid diet. I lasted a whole 8 days on the other program and quit. I wasn't hungry -- I just gave up and started eating like a big pig again. I could tell i had lost weight when I was on the liquid diet because my face was thinning out and people kept saying I looked like I had dropped some weight. So, back on the liquid diet I go. i can do it and I just can't give up bc I'm worth it.
My neice, Emilia, started kindergarten and she's so funny. I love that she loves school and fits right in and she's the one who is miss popular. I know she has a good heart and loves everyone regardless of what they look like or if they are different. I'm blessed to see her growing everyday and how she is such a beautiful person inside and out.
My other neice, Myla, is 2 and she's a hoot. She is so into learning and loves that Dora, Diego and those Wonder Pets so. She's so social and talkative. I love taking her to the store because she just stops and chit chats with everyone. She's super social. She's a big helper too -- loves doing her "responsiblities" in the morning and loves helping her auntie around the house.
My work is a joke. Haaa!!! The people there are so super fucking fake it's like whatever bitches. I am a grown ass adult. I'm not into all the gossiping that the "younger" ones are into. I don't see the point of it and I don't see the point of beating around the bush either. I work in a stressful enviroment (911 Dispatcher) but I don't know if it's the other dispatchers that make it stressful or if it's the Police Officers, EMTs, Fire Personnel or Deputies that are the ones who make it stressful. I think its a combo of both. I would rather chew nails than dispatch for County Deputies bc they dodge calls all night long. So, I avoid County at all costs. Haaaaa!!!! I do have to work it on occassion and those are the nights that I hope go by super freakin fast.
I'm not overly excited about working with a new set of people that are coming to Evening shift. My shift is Evenings and you have to be on top of your shit. You are super busy from 3pm to 11pm. There's just no way around it, period. I get tired of the higer ups not sticking up for dispatchers and allowing the officers to treat us horribly and then have the officers turn around and say it's nothing personal. Yeah right. I am quick to let the little fuckers know they are walking a thin line with me. I'm like if you think you're the only one that can complain you're wrong. So, then they usually change their tune. I have to remember that they are in a more dangerous position than I am but still you can be respectful.
The staff meeting we had the other day was a joke. It was mere general comments when it should have been like -- Leslie these are the complaints we have against you -- fix them. I would work on "my" issues if there were any complaints but general comments whatever. I know I'm not the one who cuts myself off when I key pu and I know I'm not the one who gets smart on the radio and I know I'm also not the one who has officers call in for calls instead of giving them over the radio. So, whatever. -- That's why I want to drop this weight and go to hair cutting school. I think it would be fun to do that and I'm also wanting to maybe do some work at a tattoo shop or something. I dunno I want to do something "creative" not stuck dispatching for the rest of my life. I would do it part time after I got my hair license but I wanna do something different.
I've rambled enough for today. I gotta get back to other things. Later!
1 comment | Click here to leave a comment.I have started the day off right tough by working out to Denise Austin and today is also Day 1 of my liquid diet. I lasted a whole 8 days on the other program and quit. I wasn't hungry -- I just gave up and started eating like a big pig again. I could tell i had lost weight when I was on the liquid diet because my face was thinning out and people kept saying I looked like I had dropped some weight. So, back on the liquid diet I go. i can do it and I just can't give up bc I'm worth it.
My neice, Emilia, started kindergarten and she's so funny. I love that she loves school and fits right in and she's the one who is miss popular. I know she has a good heart and loves everyone regardless of what they look like or if they are different. I'm blessed to see her growing everyday and how she is such a beautiful person inside and out.
My other neice, Myla, is 2 and she's a hoot. She is so into learning and loves that Dora, Diego and those Wonder Pets so. She's so social and talkative. I love taking her to the store because she just stops and chit chats with everyone. She's super social. She's a big helper too -- loves doing her "responsiblities" in the morning and loves helping her auntie around the house.
My work is a joke. Haaa!!! The people there are so super fucking fake it's like whatever bitches. I am a grown ass adult. I'm not into all the gossiping that the "younger" ones are into. I don't see the point of it and I don't see the point of beating around the bush either. I work in a stressful enviroment (911 Dispatcher) but I don't know if it's the other dispatchers that make it stressful or if it's the Police Officers, EMTs, Fire Personnel or Deputies that are the ones who make it stressful. I think its a combo of both. I would rather chew nails than dispatch for County Deputies bc they dodge calls all night long. So, I avoid County at all costs. Haaaaa!!!! I do have to work it on occassion and those are the nights that I hope go by super freakin fast.
I'm not overly excited about working with a new set of people that are coming to Evening shift. My shift is Evenings and you have to be on top of your shit. You are super busy from 3pm to 11pm. There's just no way around it, period. I get tired of the higer ups not sticking up for dispatchers and allowing the officers to treat us horribly and then have the officers turn around and say it's nothing personal. Yeah right. I am quick to let the little fuckers know they are walking a thin line with me. I'm like if you think you're the only one that can complain you're wrong. So, then they usually change their tune. I have to remember that they are in a more dangerous position than I am but still you can be respectful.
The staff meeting we had the other day was a joke. It was mere general comments when it should have been like -- Leslie these are the complaints we have against you -- fix them. I would work on "my" issues if there were any complaints but general comments whatever. I know I'm not the one who cuts myself off when I key pu and I know I'm not the one who gets smart on the radio and I know I'm also not the one who has officers call in for calls instead of giving them over the radio. So, whatever. -- That's why I want to drop this weight and go to hair cutting school. I think it would be fun to do that and I'm also wanting to maybe do some work at a tattoo shop or something. I dunno I want to do something "creative" not stuck dispatching for the rest of my life. I would do it part time after I got my hair license but I wanna do something different.
I've rambled enough for today. I gotta get back to other things. Later!
