ObesityHelp

It's so strange to realize it has been five years since my "rebirth".  It almost seems like another life. Kinda like my life before my divorce seems like it happened to someone else.

I haven't scheduled my 5 year post-op yet. I need to, but I'm up to 229 and I just don't want to face Dr. Smith as a failure. I was up to 237, but my IUC fell out about a month ago, and I've been able to lose weight again. Not at a regular rate or anything, but with the Mirena in,  I couldn't lose a single pound.

I'm more self-conscious about my body than I ever was. My thighs and rear end remain HUGE and out of porportion with the rest of my body. Of course I've got the batwings and droopy boobs too, but I AM almost 46, so I'm battling the same problems other women my age are encountering.  I'm starting to get a little bit of a belly, much to my dismay. I've started slacking a bit with my supplements and end up skipping them on my days off, which is for no reason other than I'm lazy. Absolutely not a good excuse, but it's the truth.

I can eat anything I want, but recently developed a sensitivity to sugar which is probably the best for me anyway. I just can't eat hardly any without getting woozy feeling. It's really weird as it's never been an issue for me before. I can eat a whole sandwich or burger now, but I'm STUFFED by the time I'm done and forget eating french fries with a burger.  Salads go right through me and come out practically unprocessed (tomatoes, corn and strawberries too).

Since I've been on the Flagyl for the gas, my life has returned to normal, thank god. If I miss a day or two, I can really tell. I am thankful everyday that Dr. Smith was understanding enough to take this measure for me. It has made all the difference in the world in my quality of life.

My children are doing well. My oldest son is in Afghanistan, which worries me to no end. My daughter-in-law and my grandson are living in California with her parents while my son is deployed. I had the great pleasure of traveling to Germany last May for Mateo's second birthday. I would never have considered at trip like this before surgery. My other children are living in Florida and doing well (my oldest turns 27 this month).

Lori is still married to Jorge and they are expecting a baby in August. I'm so excited for her! Her son graduated from high school last year, and Seth is 15, so this will be a whole new phase of life for her. My ex had a baby with his new wife last year too. All I can say, is better them than me!

James dropped back in my life after an 8 month absence. He had left his girlfriend and moved to Atlanta. We started talking again and were able to visit a few times. Then, predictably, he fell in love, AGAIN, and I was once again on the back-burner. Last April, I decided I deserved better than that and cut off all communication with him. THAT has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. I still think about him every day, much to my chagrin.

Although I've not met "that special someone" (honestly not entirely convinced he exists!) I'm dating occasionally and I must say, sex is a whole other story without the extra weight! I rather like it.

I live a somewhat solitary life, I miss my kids all the time, and I curse my body daily. But would I do it again? In a New York minute!