So this pretty much has been an amazing and awsome jouney. Next month on September the 17 2008, it will be my one year surgeversary. And i'm glad to say that i met my goal and am 1 lb under. So I am Sooo excited. I never thought that it would be this good. i thank god and i thank my surgeon and family. I don't know where i would be right now if i hadn't done this. i don't care what anyone says...this is one of the best decision i've ever made in my life. i feel so good about myself and its great!!! 149lbs!!! size 9 jeans.. Its a dream come true!!!!!!

so i made my new years goal. i am officially in onederland. i'm super excited. :) and also i had my first wow moment before christmas. i actually bought a pair of size 16 pants and some shirts from the juniors section of JC Penny and PacSun. i was sooooo thrilled. ttyl.

so the day i was in pain has clearly subsided. i think i was on drugs when i wrote that. except for the part about the gas. still got it, and its going strong. haha. but other than that i'm what...i guess 5 days out and i'm good to freakin go. except i want to eat everything i see!!! even though i know i can't . i have these cravings. i just want to chew on it a while, i'll spit it out i swear. haha. i don't know if i'm the only one who went through that. but it blows. i havne't weighed myself yet. i'm kinda scared. what if i havn't lost any weight. and the surgery didn't work. cause i feel like being this ok is not ok. something HAS to go wrong. but i hope it doens't!!! PRAY FOR ME PLEASE!!!

so i pretty much feel like crap right now. i can't breath my chest hurts and i feel like i've been stabbed. which i have so that pretty much explains it. i didn't think it would hurt soooo bad!!!  but it does. and it still hurts and i have a hundred tubes coming out of me. and i can't walk well, but i have been and i have the sickest gas i think ever known to man but i can't "set it free" haa. but anyway i dn't really remember anything after being wheeled away and waking up and wondering why i hadn't had my surgery yet. but fact is i had had it. and i just wasn't feeling it yet. i started walking around as soon as i could even though i am in sooo much pain. i have this HORRIBLE gas that will not go away no matter how much walking i do. i also have this really bad chest pain which  won't go away. i'm layng here in the hospital bed bored out of my mind. so i thougt i'd write really quickly. but anyway tt everyone later.