12/2005- I am a 26Y/O Vetran of the Coast Guard.  I am happily married with 2 children ages 1 and 3. My husband is still active duty and plans to be a "lifer."

I am having my RNY in a few days.  Very excited!!

It has been really hard to be this overweight.  (like you don't know ;)I was in such great shape in the military.  I didnt have an ounce of fat.  Now I have a BMI of 40.5.  That is devistating to me.  I spent both pregnancys on bed rest from month three.  All I did was watch the lifetime channel and eat in bed every day.  I got REALLY bored and depressed.
My pubic bone actually seperated in month 6. The pain was intense if I moved too much. So I was pretty much a miserable lump on a bed.  I started pre-term labor at 13 weeks both times. I just got wider and wider.  Immediately After I delivered the baby, the pubic bone was able to go back together. However, shortly after giving birth, I was diagnosed with Spinal menangitus.  The Doc thinks I may have gotten it in the hospital.  After almost dying and a month of isolation in the hospital I returned home to a 1.5 year old.. a one month old and a frazzled husband.  Unfortunately, I was still sick, after tests and tests they found I had Lupus.  So... they proceeded to bring on the weight magnent;  PREDNISONE. Along with the other medications.   I gained another 45 LBS  over the summer. Talk about a drastic change of lifestyle.    So here I am today, having this surgery.  I am thrilled at the hope that I will have a chance to be me again.  I cant wait!

8/14/06
I know it has been a long time since I have updated.  A lot has happened and now we are settled into a new home in Maine hoping for a fresh start at life.  I will start from after the surgery.  Things went very well from the start.  I will never forget, I lost 22lbs in 10 days.  That was a miricle in itself!   Initially things progressed much more rapid then I'd expected.  By my one month appt I had lost about 35 lbs.  I was on top of the world and feeling fabulous!  ALthough, I can not forget to mention the NEGATIVE factor...I was fired from my job for "missing too much work..."  They claimed that I required too much time off between my illness(lupus) and the surgery.  So I returned to work after the scheduled week off.  I began to bleed prefusley from the "g" tube in my stomach which required me to leave early to go to the ER.  That night I got a message on my cell phone which is how they "let me go." Unfortunately the law in Florida protects the Employer rather then the employee...so due to the size of the company and that law, my attorney said I was fighting a loosing battle.  HOW HORRIBLE IS THAT!!  Anyway, we have moved on since that.  Due to a MAJOR financial change, We were forced to move to Maine where we lived in a camper in my parents driveway until we could get on our feet again.  Of course, my being fired happened to be parallel to my husband being medically discharged from the Coast Guard.  Talk about an unexpected change of events in our life!!  I suppose everything will work out.  All I know is my strength both physically and mentally has REALLY been tested over the past few months.

I am now into my 7th month and have lost a total of 94 pounds.  I know that is wonderful but there is still that silly part of me that still feels like I should be excersising more, or maybe eating less.  I In reality, I know I am doing all right.  I am just a worry wart.  If a couple of weeks go by without loosing any weight,  I often think to myself..."is that it, is this all I will loose?"  Now I know it is a simple plateau but that little voice comes back every once in a while:)

I have included some photos finally so those of you who are interested, can put a face to the name.  I will be sure to update periodically.  As of now I am starting to loose again.  It had been a few weeks but thankfully I am on the down hill again.  Until next time...

8/29/2006-  WEll I have finally done it, I weigh exactly 100 lbs less then I did the day of my surgery.  What a difference.  I only have about 40 to go to reach my goal.  Before the surgery even 40 seemed to be insurmountable(sp??)  but now I KNOW I can do it!

10/22/2006- ok, the scale has not moved very much, but I know I have lost inches.  I am down to 194 from 298 so am still happy.  Boy, I sure do miss those first few weeks when I lost like 20lbs a week.  All I need is one or two weeks of that and I will be doing great!! at goal :)    Anyway, It is getting really cold up here in Maine and I have found myself baking and getting creative with cooking.  It makes the whole house smell good.  THe best part is, I have no desire to sit and eat the entire fresh apple pie anymore.  I have a bite or two and I am satisfied.  I wish we were all born with that sensation...which I know we are...but I wish it never went away.  This would have saved me a lot of grief :)

11/4/2006-  Well here it is November.  I can not believe this.  It has been almost 10 months since my surgery.  I am getting so clost to the goal, I can taste it.  My size 14 pants are getting baggy by the day.  I am still around 193-194.  I cant seem to break out of that but it's ok.  I am feeling better each day. 

Mentally I have had a rough time fighting depression.  Our life has been in such an up heave.  There are days I just want to cry.  I want electricity, water, food, health, and my HOME to be normal again.  We are going month to month with everything.  I have been just so stressed out.   Thank goodness I have the fact that I am loosing weight because that keeps me going.  At least I am actually accomplishing something.  Financially I am at my witts end.  Between my loosing my job and My husband being discharged we have took such a pay cut!  It is REALLY hard to make ends meet.  My disability is a joke and I feel useless because I can't help out more in that aspect.  I know I know....it all happens for a reason.  Everyone keeps telling me this but I want to know...WHEN THE HEXX DO WE FIND OUT THIS SUPPOSED REASON?  one person can only take so much you know?!  Ok, I suppose I should get going.  From a weight loss point of view, things are pretty good. so I will leave you on that note.  Too all that read this...take care and good luck.  until next time....

December 26, 2006:  We are almost at one year post op.  I have lost a total of 108 LBS.  I am really happy about that!  I have about 25 to go untill I am at goal.  I know I will be able to do it.  The holidays were good.  Christmas in Maine will be a "white one" right?  NO we had mud and warm weather, then this morning it snowed.  a little too late but all in all it was good.  Food was not an issue.  I ate what I knew I could and did indulge in Ambrosia.  It was SOOOO good.  I have no idea how bad it is for me but I know it did not make me sick and It was GREAT!  Comparison of pics from last year and this year are UNBELIEVABLE!  I seriously can not believe how different I look.  Honestly the past year has flown by and I am somewhat disapointed.  I am worried that I will not get to my goalbecause I am at the end of the so called honeymoon phase.  Oh well, we'll see what happens!

Jan 1, 2007-  WOW!  I am ready to start this year off with a BANG! I went to a New Years eve party last night and I must say that I felt BEAUTIFUL!  I was on top of the world because for the first time in my life, I loved the pictures of me.  I am SO critical of myself, so this is a BIG step for me. 

This month will make a full year (on the 17th) since my surgery.  I only have about 25 lbs to go untill I am considered "desireable" in the BMI catagory.  My husband tells me I am desireable NOW!! :-) I can not believe this much time has really gone by.  It has been a great year in many ways; a sad and "unlucky" year in others.  However, I will not let anything or anyone stop me now.  I am on the road to a healthier, stronger and more beautiful life.  For the first time, I feel in control!  Here's to a GREAT YEAR!

March 8, 2007-  Well I am down to 183 as of this morning.  For some reason I still feel "fat" what the hell is wrong with me?  I am wearing a size 12 pants when I was busting out of a 22 before.  I guess I am suffering a bit of cabin fever.  It has been really cold up here.  Below zero every day.  It is the kind of cold that makes you mad because it "hurts."  I want to be able to just go for a long walk and get some excersise but that is weeks away.  I have been doing my videos but I loose my umph halfway through.  I can't wait for spring to get here.  This is the time when it is really sinking in that I MISS FLORIDA.  Dont get me wrong, I am really happy to live near my family, but I miss the beaches, the plants, the weather, my Coastie friends, my old house, my pool, walks around the park.  Right now it is just SNOW, COLD and BLAH.  I am sure it will all get better come spring.  Weight loss is MUCH slower now.  I have to earn each and every pound.  I am so close to my goal that I can "taste" it.  I can't wait to be there and then work to maintain it forever.  Ok, enough blabbing for today.  Take care everyone...untill next time.

April 20, 2007

Well here we are it is April, and we are finally seeing some spring.  We just survived an outlandish storm that brought complete devistation to our state.  I can not believe that there has been no press about this.  A complete town was evacuated.  People are living in hotels indefinitly because their homes were washed away in the flash floods and the winds.  THis was unbelievable.  My rediculous father in law actually had the balls to say..."well it's Maine, the only people up there are either yuppys or hippies who cares?"  WHO CARES??  His son daughterinlaw and grand children live there!! not to mention my whole family.  and we are neither yuppies NOR hippies!  for goodness sakes.  No one around the country even knows we are still declared a state  of emergency!Well anyhow, I included a couple of photos to show the flooding that happen to our yard.  Unbelievable as it may be, we did not loose our home.  We just lost the yard and driveway and things areound it.  We are so thankful.  Toys, gravel and grass and time spent cleaning are easy.  Replacing those two beautiful kids of mine are not!

Anyway, Weight wise, I am good. Honestly I am down to 178 and I know it is not much different from last month but man, I can see a big difference.  I actually had 2 people tell me to stop loosing weight because my face is getting too thin.  I don't know how to stop that.  I looked at some of the pictures and realized that they are right.  I am wondering how will my body know when it is right to stop.  I still have belly and hips too loose, but my face is really getting ttthhhiiin....  I wish it would communicate with my thighs ha ha:)  Well, that is all for now.  Take care and until next time!!

July 28th 2007**************  It has been a while but I am glad I still have the opportunity to write.  I am now recovering from emergency surgery.  I developed an intussecption over the past week.  The pain started very minimal in my upper left tummy.  At first I thought, well it must be a bit of gas pain.  I had not eated anything once this started.  I went to the emergency room because I was not able to eat as this pain progressed.  Everything hurt.  They took a CT scan and it revealed "nothing" so they said....Long story short, this was LAST wed....9 days ago.  The next morning I went to the VA hospital complaining of this pain.  They reviewed the CT scan that was taken at Maine MEd the night before and proceeded to order an endiscope.  THat too revealed "nothing"  So they admitted me and treated me for an infection that I had unrelated to the pain.  The NEXT day I went to pick up the kids at school and BOOM!  I couldn't move, the pain was SO INTENSE, I thought I was going to die.  I cried uncontrollably and remained in the fetal position until medical help got me out of the car and into the ER.  They were able to undress me, Take blood and get an IV in all without my knowing.  ALl I know is that I needed help and I was going to die.  Once the pain was under control, the ER doc asked where I was hospitalized and got the records.  She came back and told me that my CT scan revealed an intusseception.  She didn't know why none of the other docs saw that.  Come to find out, the radiologist EVEN SAW IT.  In fact, he wrote it in the report and numbered the slides it is shown on!.  This nice ER doc said that they are not prepared to operate at this hospital because it is a really small Maine hospital with no bariatric experts there.  SHe told me to go to Maine Med where they could perform the surgery.  Long story short, I ended up with Emergency surgery.  The bowel had intussecepted 4 inches creating an obstruction.  Talk about PAin....I am so glad it is over.  I thought I was going to die.  Bad enough I had prepared letters for all my family members and my children especially.  

The morale to the story is, KEEP after them if you have abdominal pain.  They tend to fluff it off as if we are just fat people who "took the easy way out."  Had This problem not been solved, I would be dead today.  So, I am considering this yet another chance....Between my vast medical history with the Lupus and menangitus, and everything else, I have been lucky enough to get another chance.  Till next time.... 

Photos

298 Christmas party 12/05...Didn't feel this big but pictures don't lie

189 New Years 2006 down 110LBS