Today is my sweet baby girl's second birthday! I love you, baby pie!

(repost from VSG message board)

I wake up really early on my off days (I'm talking 2-3 AM usually) so I decided to go to the Y this morning when they open at 5.  My hubby and I have been going almost every day this week for cardio and racquetball, our daughter really seems to like the toddler area, so we have loved it so far.

Going that early in the morning and by myself was a totally new experience because I only had to focus on myself.  I did about 25 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weights (specifcially arm stuff because I have the worst batwings on the planet.)  So I'm on the elliptical trainer by the window, and I'm doing my thing..watching the news.. and I glance over.  Who is that?  ...

Me?  That streamlined individual? no friggin' way...

I freaked myself out a bit because I haven't seen the weight loss yet.  It's there.. the numbers, but as far as how I view myself- I don't see it at all.  I know a lot of you feel the same way.  I actually saw myself.. and I looked really good!

LOL!

So.. number two happened when I decided to get in the hot tub.  This one was harder for me.  I had to actually make a concious decision to make this happen, bringing a bathing suit and towel, things to shower with, etc.. It was pretty empty in there- a couple of lifeguards and a couple of people doing laps.  I thought to myself, 'just get it over with, already!'

I pulled off my shorts and started to step into the tub- I half expected all of the bullies of my youth to come running out shouting, "no fatties allowed in the hot tub!!!", when out of my peripheral came one of the life guards.  I thought, "oh my god! she's going to tell me that fatties aren't allowed in the hot tub!"..

no.. she was just checking the temp before I got in.  And I did.. and it was glorious.

I parked in front of one of the massagers and let it go crazy on my back while I melted into oblivion.  I stayed in there until I looked like a cooked lobster, then I took a shower, got dressed and came home.  I think the public showering thing would be an NSV also, but they have stalls and plenty of privacy.  Although.. I did notice that my towel closed completely around me.  Woah, that's number three!

Not bad for one morning!!!

It's kind of funny that only two short months ago, I was here..regretting my choice, complaining about crappy protein, bemoaning my decision to have the surgery... and here I am today-

LOVING my sleeve. :)

So, it's been a while since my last post.  I've always said that I write best when I'm miserable, and since progressing to "normal" foods, I've been much happier!  I had a great holiday season, made some epiphanies about "good vs bad" food, and hung out with some pretty cool people. (Ie: my family)

I've really been doing well at getting my protein, water, and vitamins in- it just takes getting on a schedule.  Now, when I'm off- the schedule goes to crap and I don't make my numbers at all.  When I work, though, I've got most of my requirements in before 0800!

Get to work @ 0000: Protein snack- (cheese, pork rinds) (8-12 grams protein) 
                          0100: Drink 20-30 oz water type beverage (Vitamin Water Zero, Crystal Light, etc), (take Paxil, Multivitamin, Actigal, Prilosec)
                          0200: Eat 2-3 oz solid protein (Chicken, turkey, gyro meat, deli meat)) (20 + grams of protein)
                          0300: Drink 20-30 oz water type beverage (Vitamin Water Zero, Crystal Light, etc) (take calcium)
                          0400: Walk one mile + 4-5 flights of stairs (Approx 200 calories burned)
                          0430: Drink 8 oz protein shake with skim milk (30-32 grams protein) (take calcium and alprazolam)
                          0500: Drink 20-30 oz water type beverage while passing meds
                          0800: Go home and go to bed (if I'm lucky) (take calcium and actigal once home)

Being off.. is great. I love being home with my family, but I'm having trouble sticking to a schedule.  Especially since I sleep at night when I'm off, so my whole day is kind of backwards.  I try to get up early and start with a protein shake and some vitamins, but as far as eating- I'm way off.  I've started wandering into the kitchen to have a bite of something to see if it's what I want.   Yes, that's technically grazing, but it's more than that- I really have no idea what to eat when I'm home.

At work, I have my little bento box full of food, and that's what I eat.  At home, there's such a selection and usually nothing sounds great.  I have to eat at work or I'll be starving because there aren't any distractions from my hunger.  At home, however, I can wander around the house, nibble this nibble that, and go back to my Man Vs. Food marathon, hang out with the hubby, or play with our daughter.  It's kind of frustrating, but I'm still a noobie.. I guess it just takes time.

So, since progressing to "mushies" things are a lot better. (Just like everyone said).  I'm getting a little bored with my options, so I got some gyro meat today with some cucumber sauce and feta cheese- soooo good.  Not sure how "mushy" it is, but it's not like a steak or something.  The meat is really tender and basically falls apart as you're eating it.  It's close enough for me!

I'm kind of noticing that my tastes are changing. For example, I used to hate feta cheese!  I think I just want some different tastes and textures so bad that I'm willing to eat almost anything. (Except blue cheese.. that's still gross and possibly life threatening due to my pcn allergy.)

My first and husby's second follow up is in a couple of weeks.  I can't wait to see how far I've progressed then.  So far, I'm down 35 lbs since a week before surgery, but I'm not doing well AT ALL on liquids or vitamins.  Protein has improved since mushies.. I'd guestimate 50-60 grams per day (at least 30 of which is a shake).  Hopefully that number will go up a bit when I'm able to eat more, but my restriction is still really really good, so I can't eat more than a few spoonfuls at a time (about 3-4 tablespoons of food per meal). 

BUT I'm lucky if I remember to take my multi 2-3 times per week, and I never remember the calcium.  I need to get in gear!

So, I had my surg on Monday (11/15) and after a week-plus of clears I can honestly say without a doubt that I am ..


STARVING!

God bless you people who lose all sense of hunger because you are my idols right now!  I also wish I could blame this empty, unsatisified, growling sensation in my awesome tiny tummy on gas, head hunger, acid reflux, the phase of the moon... or anything but being unadulteratedly famished.

I've been lucky enough that my first few days post op, I was so sick I was barely able to drink water (crystal light, etc), much less actually have the desire to put something solid in my face.  For my pre-op clears, I LOOOOVED the broth from my favorite chinese restaraunt (basically the wonton soup sans wontons) but I tried it post-op; it was PURE salt.

Nothing was appetizing and I was GLAD!  It's easier to not eat when you genuinely don't WANT to eat!

Oh, today is not the case.  I woke up early in probably less pain than I've had all week, so I took a reduced amount of med,  straightened up the house a bit, fixed a protein shake, and cooked some breakfast for my daughter.  Now, I've never been much a fan of scrambled eggs, but actually battling with her to eat her eggs was getting a little frustrating (since to me, they looked like filet mignon). 

Husby starts his mushies tomorrow, and I thought he was so crazy to be looking forward to his breakfast of scrambled egg and cheese- now I'm dreaming of watered down cream of wheat and milk-based coffee drinks. 

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!