WOW! i'm down 50lbs since my operation on sept 14. i'm pretty happy about that. im having a little trouble going to the gym like i don't go everyday like i should be but once i get there, i'm ready to work out! lol hopefully with this 50lbs down i'll be more motivated to start going to the gym more ..

ok. so it's been a really rough two weeks. BUT THANK GOD that i'm FINALLY starting to feel like myself again. The pain is going away more and more each day and i've already lost 25 lbs so now i just need to work on gettting to the gym and i'll be golden!

i don't know how else to express my feelings but right now i'm a week and a half post op, i can't eat anything and i'm soo hungry and on top of that, i'm feeling extremely alone. I live on campus and everyone is eating so much food around me like mcdonalds and such and yeah, i walk away, but it just gets me thinking, did i do the right thing? right now with the way im feeling i would totally turn to food, but since i can't, all i want to do is bust out and cry to the world. i'm having such a hard time being post op. i don't know what to do. i'm so miserable that i'm afraid that i will sabatoge myself. i'm not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me or pity me, i just have no where else to turn to but here because i feel like i can express myself easily to a bunch of internet bloggers than my own mom. lol but then i can just tell myself how i would feel but then i would look crazy. lol

hey guys. omg so i'm four days out and i fee like shit! i was really starting to regret this decision. i doon't want this to be a bad start to my weight loss by i had no idea of this unbearable pain i would be going through. i feel like someone is constantly stabbing me with a knife in my stomach. will this pain ever go away? will i ever feel like my normal self again? i'm starting to have that anxiety feeling of food separation. my family keeps stressing the fact that i can no longer eat the way i use to. i can't enjoy food anymore. like i basically have to eat like an ant. i mean i know i can't eat a lot of the things i use to but i'm really starting think that food was more than comfort to me. i actually LOVE food. does anyone understand what i'm saying? i've been on water, broth and jello for two days now. i've had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner and i'm already SICK of it!!! is that normal? but can u blame me, i wanted to kick the staff in their face every time they brought me the same thing! lol ok maybe i'm going to far but im really tired of these limitations. also, my doctor has yet to speak to me on the food topic. how long am i limited to clear liquids? and can anyone give me any ideas on what others clear liquids i can have besides broth and jello??? i know i'm only four days out but with this food limitations and the pain added together, i'm going CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!! 4 more days until my surgery!!! i'm soo excited because im ready to start losing weight! but at the same time i'm soo scared to have the surgery and possibility of any complications and what if i still eat bad things? do i need counseling? lol i'm crazy! but anyway, im just happy i'm finally going to change my life and finally have a chance of being under 200lbs.