Where it all started... 263
How it ended......... :) Two years later 120
Dh and I on a walk....................08/07
No words LOL Just naked walking around the hood LOL
I have decided today ....I am done. I am at goal. I was pushing for 125, but after seeing a picture of myself I believe in my heart that I have reached goal at 130. I feel sorta sad and Im not sure why.... now I work on maintaining this weight. Thats new too...I either went up or down my whole life. Its a good thing to work on for the next year. :)
Ok so scratch the above...LOL whats another six down.
une 24th 11months out
The above is a day at the beach...wow..I knew I was fat but I thought I was still ok. Duh..DH took this on the St Croix two weeks befor surgery. Lord have Mercy how did I ever get here? Sad thing is it would have still kept going up.
Thank you WLS
My sexy DH fishing...big surprise
Current picture, down 122 pounds from above.
I thought the below pic was kinda cool...I dont get to see my tattoo often LOL
Day of surgery below 263
Above is current
Below is five months out
The above is right before going to workout... this is January of 2007 almost six months out and down 88.
Current Photo June 07 ten months out
DH and I at xmas 06
Below the love of my life...hes anticipating the results of a fishing tourney he was in that day!
Those were some big pants
Im in one leg of the pants,
Below during 12/06 178 With my amazing Dear Husband Brian at my youngest daughters concert.
Dear Daughter and I goofing around...yikes 04-07
I look like a pollen eating alien..LOLOLOL
Oldest daughter and me....goofin off!
Met up with the WONDERFUL Sandie today!!! Your awesome my fellow nutcase!
Well I had my first appt to get the lap band surgery going.
I was weighed 260 and Im 5'2.
Im pretty sure that makes me fat
The before pics..the blood taking..I was complimented on my knowledge of this surgery.
Wow..they think I could be ready to go by May or June!!
Just wanted to let ya'll know cos you have been in here allowing me to follow your stories.
With this weight...everyday tasks are just hard..my house doesnt look as nice as it used to because its so much hard work and sweating to get things done.
When I get tired around noon, I feel soooo guilty and sooo lazy that I want to lie down.
Carrying 130 extra pounds is so hard.
Im just having a pity party..sorry... its the endish of winter here which means we have been stuck inside all winter.
Summer is coming and hopefully I will be into my band and down a little so Im not so hot outside.
I want to go places and enjoy the warm summer instead of sweating and sitting umcomfortable in chairs ALL CHAIRS cos Im so big.
Ya cant hide under winter clothes in the summer...sigh....
Well...another ramble is over...thanks for listening... seems like now that I have things moving with the band its taking forever~
Once again venting but I have been doing so much thinking during this road of learning and trying for lap band.
The things that stand out to me are.
If I go somewhere how hot will I get? Summer vacations or just summer...I hate them. Do I just hate them cos IM fat or do I just hate them.
Are there days Im feeling lazy cos Im fat or Im just feeling lazy?
I put so much effort into my face. Fabulous makeup...hair, but do I ever look farther down than that? Nope.
I have two pairs of pants. I couldnt care less about clothes..maybe I do when Im not fitting tight into my twenty six's.
I have no picture proof I have been alive for the last ten years due to avoiding pictures.
Leaving the house feeling...Ok Im lookin good...only to see myself in a reflection and think...HOly Hell what was I thinking.
Trying to bathe and wipe after goin potty and having to stretch an arm thats only so long. Why doesnt this disgust me..why do I go..oh well another phase of fat.
I used to be fun and outgoing..I used to be so bright and sparkly.
Now I walk through the world silently apologising for looking like I do.
People used to look me in the eye when they would walk by but now its like if they do they will catch fat or if a man would smile he thinks I will want to marry him or follow him.
I used to DJ...I used to fly through life...now I dont work cos I get tired and I lose myself in the wallpaper.
Im withdrawn..I want me back.. Im thirty nine and I cant imagine doing this for the next forty years if I get that lucky.
I wont walk around with my head down and being treated like a second class citizen by trendy little pin heads at the mall when I want to buy somthing.
I will sit in the chair at the hair salon and look while she cuts my hair.
I want to hear someone say, your forty? WOW
Im sorry friends...this has been such a cleansing experience so far.
I havent addresed these feelings for so many years..I just accepted each stage.Starting Monday the 13th of March will be my first appt with the Psychologist. Should be interesting to say the least. Perhaps being on antidepressants already may help. I dont think its wise to try and and hold anything back even though Im afraid the outcome might hold the surgery off? I guess that could happen but not likely.
Personal Goals ( borrowed from a brilliant bandster)
To see my collar bone, cheek bones, and knees Hooray!
Wear a size large shirt
Comfortable in a bathing suit for the first time in my life!
See a woman's figure Hooray
Wear a normal bath towel, not a beach towel Hooray!
Able to bend over and paint my toe nails without pain or being short of breath Yippee
Have cute clothes RAH RAH RAH
Have cute bras/undies Yeah!
Love myself Close
Play with my daughters without getting exhausted I smoke them :)
2 months down 48 pounds..never knew I had such a pointy chin! Lots of points now
Just got back from my first appt with the Psych. Wow that was emotional and tiring.. He asked me what I would like to weigh and what a realistic goal would be. I said I would like one thirty but would happily accept one fifty.
He thought that one hundred is somthing that can be obtained but biologically one thirty maybe harder. Not sure what that meant. Perhaps ones body wants to be and is naturally set? Dunno but one hundred pounds would feel like a gift from the big man himself.
He asked so many questions and I felt like I had to becareful what I said cos I dont want to mess up this chance.
I did get emotional with mt dh today...I tried to let out how this weight makes me feel, but he tries to give me the buck up speech and I never feel better afterwards and dont feel comfortable sharing with anyone else. :(
Oh Well...I think this too shall pass as everything does.
I did the 3 hour test this week...boy was that mine numbing. I think I will be dreaming of little circles for the rest of my life!
I go next week to get the results. I wonder if a depressed person on medication will show up as still depressed.
Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Well I met with my surgeon and we talked alot..after much thinking I have decided to go with the RNY. I feel so much better, because after reading so much on the lap band board I just saw a trend of slow weight loss and the abitility to eat around the band.
Also the back and fourth to the doc for refills...just wasnt for me.
My Dr. agreed and felt this was the better choice for me.
More later but I do have a date of July 25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im feeling really anxious due to my surgery creeping up.
Its like waiting for somthing so big and you get into a holding pattern and then WHAMMY your landing!!!! I have to start my liquid while my Dear Step Son is in town and that will be tough. I also have to keep in on the downlow cos I dont want him running back to Mommy Dearest and telling her.
Im going to shop for my protien powder/ready to drink things Wednesday.
Sassy me... just playin around enjoying m face for a change!