I had my first appointment with Dr. White, and he pulled out the drainage tube.....omg THE PAIN.  HELL, IM STILL IN PAIN!  That shit hurt, yup, it really did.

But on a better note, I lost 11.5 pounds in one week! yeah me!

My official pre op wieight was 298, as of today, i wieght 287. I am so excited.  I didnt know i lost that much, I cried in the exam room, im such a sap.  All I can say is thank you Jesus!

Im tired, i have a cold, and no voice so im ending this post early.  Have a blessed day!

Honesty is the best  policy. So cliche'. However, most people don't honor that. I would even go as far as to say that  most people that to be honest is to be foolish.  There have been so many times when my honesty was not appreciated. Times when I was mocked for even admitting mistakes, but today, my honesty was honored and understood. In this life changing descion, God showed me favor and showed both my nurse and doctor reason.  Here's my story:

I quit smoking on August 5th, 2007.  I went nearly 30 days without smoking. Well my sister fell ill, and I took a smoke sometime in september.  But i got back on the wagon and tried to continue to be smoke free.  However, on several occassions i  succomed to social smoking whenever i was around friends.  I just couldnt resist.  I had no problems at home, hell, i never even really thought about ciggarettes, but i seemed to be so weak around friends and relatives.

This surgery date has come so quick, i scheduled this surgery almost a month ago, and the time has just flown by.  I became scared, anxious, exited, nervous, making my ability to say no even harder. 

What broke the camel's back was when i smoked this week, hell, i have surgery on monday of next week.  How could i consciously go through with it  knowing that had a a few ciggies the week before? So i told my nut about my feelings and about my smoking.  Then she told the nurse, who then called me and notified me that she was going to tell the doctor.  Of course, i knew that there was a chance that my nut would tell the doctor, but at the time, i felt as if i had to, because i felt that he needed to know the same information that i did.

But I didnt realize the impact of the possibility of hear.............ing her call me to tell me that my surgery was cancelled.  I thought that I would be ok either way, but I just became even more scared. Scared at the thought of never reaching my full potential, and throwing away a very big blessing from God.  I became frantic.

I felt so stupid for telling the truth.  I mean, come on, who tells the truth these days? I felt like a stupid freakin idiot.  But i contiplated
 my actions, and you know what--I NEED TO GROW THE FK UP!   I cant smoke to be social, i cant afford it.  I have responsibilites to my kids and my self and to my surgeon not to smoke, not to get ulcers, not to put my life at risk.  So i decided, if he says he's cancelling, then i deserve it!

But that didnt stop me from praying and asking for favor. And you know what? I got it!!   Kathy from Dr. White's office said that they appreciated my honesty, and if i promise never to smoke again, that they will go ahead with my suregery. WOW! Thank you Jesus! Thank you for your favor! WOW!  She said that she could feel my emotions about the situation and my confession.

Positive results from being honest? Wow, i had to write this down.
God is so good to me, he gives me so much favor, for that Lord, I thank you. Amen.

Well, I missed the first set of scheduled tests, and I had to rescheule them to Oct. 17th and 18th.  I offically have a date: November 19th at 10:30 am!!!! Whoooooooo hoooooooooooooo!

I am so excited about this whole thing. Although my body feels so horrible. I feel like someone has strapped sand bags to my body.  Its like my wants to move at galcier pace and anything faster than that is unacceptable.  And my feet....dont let me get started on those! They hurt so badly when i get up to walk. The pain.........I'm at my highest wieght of my life, and I really believe that I am just too short to carry this wieght.  My freaking everything hurts. And i have this horrid sinus thing goin on. Its really fucking with my breathing. Its like my nose is partially stopped up and only allowing to get most of the air I am supposed to get.  And this same bugger keeps growing back ever fuckin day. I take it out...next day..its back. What the hell? At first i thought it was the ciggy smoke drying my nose, but I dont smoke anymore, (ok, I cheated once this week) but still, my nose feels sooo dry.

I plan to do this beginner salsa dance dvd, I really would like to lose 15 pounds before surgery. It will give me a great head start!

Ok, so I had my psych. eval on Sept. 5th.  I got the results back two weeks later. I think it was the 17th.

So today, I call the surgeon's office, talked to Kristi, (to give her my cell phone number in case im not at home when she calls),  and she said that I was approved last night. I just spoke to her on monday, she didnt even have the psych eval yet.  So, some time, between tuesday and thursday it came,and in two days time.....I WAS APPROVED! YAHOOOOO!

GOD IS SO SO SOOOO GOOD, ALL THE TIME, EVERY DAY. HIS MERY ENDURES FOR EVER, I KNOW THAT HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME.  I LOVE CHRIST, AND HE LOVES ME. I AM BLESSED BECAUSE OF HIS LOVE AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED BECAUSE I WILL NEVER CEASE TO LOVE AND REVERE HIM.

ON MY WAY TO THE LOSERS' SIDE!
 PRAISE JESUS!

My appt. dates:

Oct. 3rd @ kristi , 9:30 am
Oct. 4th, @ Dr. White's office 5800 monroe, 9:15 am
Oct. 17th @Kristi, 2 pm.
October 3rd@physical therapy @ 1045 am

I am totally regretting cheating smoking ciggies right now. I told the lady at the dr. office, she souded very upset.  I dont think it'll delay the surgery. I will never smoke again! Oh, GOD, help me, eeek!