WATCH MY BEGINNING OF MY JOURNEY


SLIDESHOW & PLEASE COMMENT ON IT

http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e7a45784d5451304d673d3d0d0a

    I SAW THIS ON SOME ONE'S PROFILE AND SAID TO MY SELF I MUST HAVE THAT ON MINE
SORRY FOR THE THEIVERY BUT I HAD TO HAVE IT




What I Won't Miss:
1. Having people call me “big mama.” 
2. Seeing the looks on the people’s faces that I knew from high school. 
3. Having family tell me I’ve gained a lot of weight. 
4. Taking pictures from the head up, only. 
5. Having bras cut into my sides. 
6. My feet and ankles hurting when I stand up. 
7. Legs hurting when I walk or try to climb stairs 
8. Being out of breath from walking. 
9. My back killing me during the day. 
10.Waking up in the middle of the night from back pain. 
11.Feeling exhausted all the time. 
12.Always being sleepy. 
13.Not finding any cheap stylish clothes my size. 
14.Having clothes from when I was smaller that I just don’t want to throw out. 
15.Not fitting my favorite top. 
16.Getting evil looks from the person next to me on the plane or bus. 
17.Feeling self conscious about how I look. 
18.Not being able to cross my legs. (I don't remember ever being able to do this) 
19.My fingers and toes being swollen. 
20.Having to spend more money than thinner people on my clothes 
21.Having men avoid eye contact with me. 
22.Not being able to give myself a pedicure comfortably. 
23.Having to do the fat people shoe tie. (u know, tie your shoes from the side.)  
24.My shoes being too tight on my feet. 
25.Having to wear flats instead of high heals. 
26.Feeling like I need a fork lift to get out of the bathtub 
27.Having people at a pool stare at me. 
28.Being treated like I can't do anything athletic by small people. 
29.People saying “you’re so soft, I just want to hug you.” 
30.Not being able to see my feet. 
31.Looking at pictures and not recognizing myself. 
32.Having people say "you’re pretty for a big girl." 
33.Using the big girls stall in the bathroom (aka handicap stall) 
34.Having my breasts be a net for my food. 
35.Having the bath water only cover half of my body. 
36.Avoiding all cameras 
37.Dreading my jeans in the drier, because you know it's going to be smaller when it comes out.
38.Taking blood pressure medicine. 
39.Distant family members thinking its ok to comment on my weight gain. 
40. Buying Big Beach Towels and using them as a regular towel. 
41. Always wearing my business shirts untucked. I look like a fool with them tucked in.
42. Being called "lil mama"
43. Being told you aint big

one thing i must say is i really hate when skinny people say they fat

I HAVE BEEN REALLY DEPRESSED FOR THE LAST COUPLE DAYS I SAW MY SELF ON VIDEO CAMERA DURING THE HOLIDAYS AND IT MAKES ME REAL MAD TO SEE MYSELF I FEEL LIKE A BIG FAT BLOB I DID NOT REALIZE I LOOK LIKE THAT UNTIL THEN I MEAN II KNEW THAT I WAS HEAVY BUT I DID NOT THINK I LOOKED LIKE THAT I REALLY AM DISGUSTED I DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT AND ME AND MY  HUBBY HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THE TIMES I TELL YOU THIS MUCH HEE DONTLIKE ME TO CALL MY SELF FAT CAUSE HE SAYS I AM NOT BUT I KNOW THAT I AM IT IS LIKE THE MOVIE SHALLOW HAL I HATE THAT MOVIE JUST LIKE I HATE ANY MOVIE THAT MAKES OR PICK FUN AT THE FAT PEOPLE AND SHALLOW HAL IS ONE OF THEN AND NORBIT IS THE SECOND I KNOW THAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY SOME OF IT IS AND WELL THE FACT THAT RESPUSHA CANT FIT IN HER OWN CAR COME ON AND HOW SHE COULDNT FIT THROUGHT HE COUNTER AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK  THAT WAS NOT FUNNY TO ME I HATE THE WAY I LOOK I DONT REALLY CARE  ANY MORE I STARTED THIS SURGERY  BECAUSE MY PRIMARY DR  RECOMMENDED I GO THROUGH THIS BECAUSE OF THE MULTI HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT I HAVE THAT INCLUDE INFERTILITY, MENSTRUATION PROBLEMS, KIDNEY  STONES, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, AND SOME URINARY INCONTINENCE   I AM SO TIRED OF ALL THIS I WISH I WOULD NOT HAVE REALLY SEENT THE WAY I ACTUALLY LOOK  I KNOW THAT HE IS JUST TRYING TO SPARE MY FEELING WITH EVERY ONE ELSE BUT SORRY I HAD TO STOP FOR A MOMENT TO CRY BUY I AM BACK RO END THIS POST LATER GUYS