LJ1972
Weighing In
Aug 31, 2014
8 months. Oops
I need to come back regularly. I need to track my food and exercise, my success and failures. When I rely on my memory, it fails me.
I went through another horrible depression stage in January. The spotlight was once again showing me how I don't fit in with the people who matter most to me. I was miserable and self loathing. and eating. Then, just as I started getting my act together, I had shoulder surgery 2/27. When I went in to surgery, the expectation was 4 week recovery. When I woke up in recovery, it was 4 weeks in a sling. A week later the physical therapist told me it would be 4 months before I could run, 6-9 months before I could swim, and 9-12 months before I could get back in the gym. I was devastated. I did manage to talk my surgeon into letting me run some at about 6 weeks out. I am already back in the gym with restricted shoulder exercises - have been for some time.
And I weighed 190lbs tonight. 23lbs over my lowest weight and 10lbs over my goal weight. It isn't valid - I weighed 184 2 days ago- but it is still eye opening. 190lbs.
I don't know how I am going to manage it with my current schedule and level of exhaustion, but I am going to step my gym training back up to pre-shoulder levels as much as reasonable. And I have GOT to get my eating under control. I eat TONS, especially at night when my insomnia kicks in.
I can do this. I can.