Lindsey M.

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and I'm truely one of the luckiest girls around, I have an amazing supportive husband who loves me more than anything, and I love him more than I can say. He's truely my hero, and I'm so thankful for everything he has done for me. It's been nice to have him by my side through all of this.

and.. I've been thinking...

and I can't wait to know how it feels to have my husband look at me and see every bit of me beautiful. I'm happy that I'm losing weight and I believe that he will be happy earlier than I will be with my weightloss. I have the need to be prettier for my husband. I want him to always want me, and to be around me. I'm ready. So I hope it comes soon, and hopefully soon enough. I love my husband so much. I dunno, I just want to be able to do everything I want to do with him without any restrictions.

Today I'm ten days out, I spent last night in the hospital sipping the CT liquid I needed to get into my body so they could preform the procedure. It was terrible!... My last drink of it, my body finally said enough, and some of it came up jus tot my throte, I was able to reswallow it, but thats when I knew enough is enough. I finally went and have my CT at 4 in the morning. We had been there sense 9 that night. We found out that I have a severe skin infection, and thats all. but they gave me an liquid anti-biotic, which I can't take it makes me sick, so I'm kind of at a loss. The doctor communicated with my surgron, and I'm suppose to check in with the surgeon on tuesday. So we were completell done with the hospital at 5 in the morning, and we didn' make it home until 7 due to waiting for my perscriptions. I';m really disappointed that I can't take the anti-biotic.

Somethings are funny, but thank goodness I have a have a wonderful concience.
My husband was making dinner last night for the family. I walked in the kitchen and saw the carrots, and naturally went to grab one!... Oh my that would have been terrible, I'm only a week out!... Woah!... I almost did the same thing with the cheese. It's so funny how before we were able to lick the spoon when your frosting things, grab a carrot when your cooking, ect. and now it's not an option. It was totally crazy!... and how at times people can literallly forget about there RNY. Anyone accidently did this before with out thinking?...

One Week out Today and This morning I went Crazy!... I was so fed up with having to lay in bed or on the recliner, I got up and Cleaned the kitchen as I was cleaning I was crying becuase I knew in my heart I wasn't suppose to be cleaning, I even did some laundry, and after all of that I cried some more becuase I hurt myself, and I wasn't suppose to be doing any cleaning. I just went crazy, and I cried and cried!... I'm so tired of not being able to go and do my daily life!.. It's super frustrating. I can't even snuggle with my husband, and dog. I can't sleep normal yet. It just sucks!... Anyone feel this way?...
I don't feel depressed more aggervated.

I'm super tired of not being able to do anything. I'm feeling restless. I can't wait until the pain is over. Things are going great though. My husband is amazing. He's been super supportive, and taking care of everything, our house looks amazing inside and out. I truely love him more than anything. I'm so happy that we are making it though this interesting time in our life. I love him so much!...

I'm still waking up my husband at 2:30 in the morning for another dose of meds,and still unable to sleep anywhere other than on my back. I did so much today though, there were errands that needed to be done,so my husband drove me everywhere. We even went to sams club but I road on the moble cart thing becuase that was too much walking. We went down every isle. Although it was totally emberressing becuase people were looking at me like "whats her problem?" "She's just fat she should be  walking!". This is the thing they didn't know I just had serious surgery and that I'm 5 days out from that. it was just insane,I had class today, and worked on some homework but the Vikoden does some weird things to me. so it's hard to consontrate, and even at times write the right number, it was very interesting.I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

Prior to my surgery during my  pre-op diet, I lost a total of 16 pounds while I was in the hospital I gain back 12 of the 16 in water weight, which was expected, and the water weight plus more will come off with in the next two weeks. I'm still feeling sore, and a little restless. I feel like I'm home and I'm ready to be all better. Being home makes me feel like I should be back to normal.but that can't be expected 4 days out of a major surgery.

I've always been super lady like, never to fart in front of anyone. Always if I did I would be in the bathroom, making sure that if it was noisy the no one would be able to hear it. Well now all I want to do is fart becuase it relieves the pressure in my belly, I feel like laughing because right now they arn't smelly so I'm letting the silent ones and no one knows but me. I feel so mysterious!... It's totally funny. Oh and this morning I had some noisy ones, and all I could think we the my husband heard them, asked him when he woke up and he said he had no clues. Thats totally funny, so I also go away with being a little noisy too!...lol... Too add to that my lower back near my spine is killing me. It's a terrible feeling. My husband is going to be getting me some finger nail polish removed for all the sticky stuff from my bandages, and the IV tape. I'm feeling alot of gas if you couldnt tell. and it' shard for me to decide if i want to go lay on my back in bed or stay in the chair where it hurts me lower back. All last night I could hear either the gas or the liquid going through my system it was crazy. It sounded like someone was shacking at water bottle slowly. it was totally crazy...

i got home last night, I tried to take a shower, but I'm not as flexable as I was before, i also have 7 incisions that all are hurting, I do have gas pain but I feel better everytime I let one ripp...lol... I can feel the pressure reducing  as the days go on. My nails are growing like crazy I'm assuming due to the really good anti=biotics. I'm hoping to be feeling better soon though, but I'm only 3 days out, and I'm hoping for the best.

Today is the last day before I go into surgery. I'm doing very well. Feeling Good, and hoping that is all goes well. My surgery got moved earlier by 2 hours. So that means we have to be at the hospital at 5 in the morning!... Waoh!... I'm feelng axious.But I know it's going to be good.