ObesityHelp

I've been on but haven't posted. I've been maintaining my weight between 170-175 for the last 7 months. Its been ok. I still struggle. Don't feel like blogging. But my mom insisted that I at least update so there you go.

As of this morning the scale says 199. And its fucking awesome! Sorry for the language but it is. It still hasn't sunk in all the way but man am I happy about it.

I am doing ok. Still struggling with demons. I hate that cookies and bread and shit hold such a tight grip on me. Its a lifelong process. I am not going to go back to that fat girl though.

I love going out. I love dancing and I love getting hit on. Even if its not by the hottest guys at the club. I could care less who's hitting on me as long as I get hit on.

I have lost 127 lbs since surgery and 177 from my heaviest. NUTZ. I have 61 more to loose. I'm gonna do it. I have to do it. I owe it to myself. Seeing a one starting the numbers on the scale is so cool. It will only get better.

I look at Nancy and I'm like damn she looks good. I can't wait to be there. I really can't.

Anyway dyeing eggs with the kiddos today so I won't blah blah blah on and on.

Thanks if you read this.

Its been a long time since I wrote on this blog and I'm doing myself a disjustice. I really should keep track of whats going on in my head as well as my scale. I feel pretty damn good. I gotta learn how to get everything in in a day though. I still have issues with water/protient/vitamins ARG. So much to remember and I suck at remembering shit in the first place. Its a constant effort. I wish I could be as good as my friend Nancy, shes much better at it than me.

Food, I miss you. I really do. I am excited for the Holidays though I know that I will not be filling myself to the point that I feel sick and don't want to do anything. I just wish soooo hard that it would snow on Thanksgiving so I could take my kids out in it. Maybe this year I will actually remember to watch the Macy's parade because I will not be so preoccupied with the food cooking in the kitchen. Why are the holiday's so centered around the food when they should be about family? Time to get things back on track.

As for weight loss. I'm down from 326 the day of surgery to 248. I like starting with a 2 but I can't wait for those 49 lbs to come off and I can be in onederland. I am in a size 20 jean, some 18 stuff. And I tried on a dress from my mom's closet that still had the tags on it and its a size 16. It has been such a great feeling to start stealing my moms clothes again HAHAHA. But all that weightloss comes with a price. My arms/theighs/breasts are distroyed. Jason says I look weird now and that I looked normal before and shouldn't have gotten the surgery. Thing is I feel so much better about myself that I really could give two freakin shits about what he thinks I look like. I can see cheek bones, and colar bones and I think that I'm actually sexier now than I have been in years and years. I mean really who thinks a 320 lb person looks NORMAL...EEWWWW! Hes a dumbass.

I have my highschool reunion coming up. Scary and exciting. I am smaller than I was when I graduated so thats good. I wonder if anyone will notice because lets face its I'm still fat. There will be a few people there that I have wanted to talk to but most of them I just want to see who of them got fat HAHAHA.. I'm terrible. Gotta put things behind me and move on. Life is too short and too good.

So its been and one week. Everything is going good. I'm not good at remembering my vitamins as much as I want to be. But getting the water is much much easier. I was still thinking that you could only have 2 oz every 10 min lol. My doc was like no no no you can drink much more than that now. I'm a dumbass.

I have lost 40 lbs now. 27 since surgery. I am feeling better and fitting into clothes that I havent worn in a long time. Its nice. I want to loose a lot lot more.

I can't believe how quickly this is going. I feel better almost every day. Except right now I have nausea becasue I'm a little dehydrated. I should have drank more but its easier and easier to get that water in. I'm thirsty all the time and I'm hoping to catch up and feel better.

Being on real foods is really really nice. I could care less that I will be on this diet for another 6 weeks. Its fine. I can handle tuna and shrim and fish and whatnot for this amount of time. I am putting everything on a cracker lol. Its so tasty. So far the only food that has given me trouble has been ground turkey I think it was just too dry. I even had almost a half of a burger on the grill this weekend. It was tasty with mustard and relish. No ketchup too much sugar.

I face painted at the Linemans Rodeo and booked another date. I hope that on Aug 22 I will feel better and not so worn out. This weekend was too much too soon and I ended up puking in my moms truck on the way home. NOT FUN!

I am down to 306 lbs. I have 4 days to loose 6 lbs and I will have made my first goal of being under 300 by the end of the month. I hope I can do it. If not I'm not going to beat myself up for it. 30 lbs in almost a month is pretty good I think.

I'm gonna go do my work out video now. No going to the gym today. Just don't feel up to putting the kids in the car and hauling them all in yuck.