I went to my second follow-up appointment at Dr. B's today.  I'm still trying to figure out all the numbers; everything is kind of swirling around in my head. But it's all good - I know that much.  I have lost 63 pounds since I started with Dr. B's program.  Since my last appointment a week after surgery, I have lost 19 pounds. That was four weeks ago.  I lost 19 pounds in four weeks.     That is simply amazing! Since my pre-surgery weigh in I've lost 30 pounds.  See what I mean about the numbers?? There's so many!  Anyway, as I said, it's all good and I am thrilled. 

Looking down the road a piece, I'm starting to wonder about my long-term focus.  Dr. B. gave me what he called his standard lecture -- about the 'honeymoon period'.  He noted that in 6-8 months my pouch will be supple and pliable and able to hold SIX TIMES the amount of food I'm eating now.  So, he said, I need to do my absolute best with the weight loss during this period so that later it will all just be about maintaining the loss. 

As I said, I'm thinking now about how to keep it all working. I guess it's easy now and will only get more difficult.  Still, I think back to my pre-surgery weight loss and think of how hungry I was all the time.  At least now I don't have to worry  about that.  All I know for sure is that I don't want to screw this up.  I feel so good some days I can hardly stand it.  Just happy.  

Exercising at least 30 minutes at or above my target heart rate every other day.  Now that I'm further out, I feel like I can pump that up a little.  My healing has gone very well, so I will start with crunches and other muscle-building exercises, too, on top of the cardio.  Thank goodness I like to exercise.  Let me rephrase - -thank goodness I've learned to like to exercise.  God is good.

34 lbs pre-surgery

What an ugly term that is -- super obese.  It sounds like you are the failure of failures at weight control.  Well, I haven't gotten weighed, officially in a few weeks but according to my scale, which is pretty accurate, my BMI is finally under the big Five-OH, (50). I now join the ranks of the morbidly obese.  That term is not too much better, but it's definitely a milestone for me.

34 lbs pre-surgery

Three weeks out now.  Hating pureed foods.  Nothing tastes good; I'm doing mostly liquids as the loss of texture really is a big loss for me.  I can not wait to chew something next week.   Still dreaming of fresh, cooked spinach, a little rice and a little broiled chicken.

I weighed myself here at home a couple of days ago and was soooooo happy!  I have to wait for the offical count at my doc's appt. next week, but I do believe I've lost another 10 pounds or so in just the past couple of weeks.  It's amazing.  

My very thin and very beautiful cousin Shelly came to visit from Texas last weekend.  We grew up together and I love her like a sister.  We're walking through the mall and she goes, "baby girl, you really have to get some new jeans!  Those are so baggy they look bad."

I was floored!  These jeans "fit" just a few weeks ago.  But she said they were so loose in the back now that they looked really yucky.  I knew they felt bigger, but I didn't know they had gotten THAT big. It was a nice moment for me. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I've started this online program called "Shrink Yourself."  It focuses on combating the reaons for emotional eating.   They say something along the lines of if you are 25 to 50 pounds overweight, you probably use food a little too much for comfort.  If you are 50 to 100 pounds overweight, you have made food a big part of your emotional makeup.  And if you are more than 100 pounds overweight, you have learned to use food as your primary emotional support.  Then, they go about helping you figure out why you have used food to clamp down your emotions rather than facing them.  I'm trying work the program hard, because, darn it -- I am not going through all of this to sabotage myself two years from now!

The 'head hunger' thing is all a part of the emotional eating cycle. BAM! the desire for "something good" to eat flys into you head.  You're not hungry, but you want that reward, that comfort of that good taste in your mouth.  Cooking for a teenager doesn't help any.  My son's four basic food groups are: pasta, chicken nuggets, pizza and ketchup.  It is so hard to get him to eat a decent meal and even harder right now to cook him one.  So, to help keep myself sane, I've been letting him make whatever he feels like for dinner, (as long as it's reasonably healthy) and taking myself and my head hungry nose to another part of the house while he does that.   

Peace to all of you beautiful people - I truly, truly appreciate you.