So, I just passed my 3rd surgiversary!  I have lost about 75 lbs, give or take a few.  I am healthier and happier, but never reached my goal.   My stoma is stretched, but I can't get a revision covered by insurance at this time.  So, I have to do this without any surgical intervention.  I CAN DO THIS!

I got a great deal on a new gym membership, so I switched over from Gold's to LA Fitness.  I also decided to listen seriously to their spiel on a training contract and not just blow them off because of the money it would cost.  I got a great deal on that, too.  for $312 + $99 sign on fee, I am getting 12 sessions per month for 12 months.. 144 sessions for $411= $2.85 per session.. um, yeah.. I can handle that!! I'm doing something for ME with some of my income tax money!

Day 1.. Alycia is my trainer.  She's young and super friendly.  She is also a certified nutritionist AND her mom and aunt both had Gastric Bypass.  She "gets" my needs!! She asked questions about what areas I wanted to work on losing fat and where I had skin issues.  She gets it, she really gets it!!

We did my stats, so here they are.. 

weight: 183.5
body fat %: 39.2%
bmi 33.5---- still obese 

neck: 13"
shoulders 43"
waist: 39"
hips: 43"
bicep: 13"
thigh: 24"
calf: 15.5"

Just looked back on a posting I made from when my first year.  I found measurements from the day before surgery.  I had done them myself, so they are not exact.  But, it's still enlightening!

weight: 234.5
bmi: 42.9
waist: 47"
hips: 52"
bicep: 16"
thigh: 26"

Looking at the measurements around my midsection makes me feel so much better!!  

Alycia said that I am well proportioned and that will make it easier to work the whole body.  We won't have to focus more on certain areas.  She said nutrition and cardio will be the key to my success!  I CAN and WILL do this!!!!!!! 

I told her my goal weight was around 140.  That would put my body fat % between 21-24%.  She said that the real goal is to have the least amount of body fat, not necessarily the number on the scale.  She also said that I could realistically weigh around 150 and have around 20% body fat and not want to go any lower.  I have 12 months.. let's see what I can do!

So, here it is my thoughts on this, my one year surgiversary.  Today has been an emotional roller coaster for me and the day is not even over yet.  I have cried happy tears thinking about how far I have come and all I have gained along the way.  I have cried sad tears thinking about what I have NOT accomplished yet and the people who are not here to help me share this experience.

In the past year, so much has happened. 

Feb. 23, 2009, I had my surgery

April 4, 2009, I finally moved out on a loveless marriage and got my own place

April 2009-joined gym and got a personal trainer

April 27, 2009, I made it to ONEderland!

Summer 2009 was comfortable in a bathing suit at the pool and the beach

By the beginning of September 2009, I was down 70 lbs

End of September 2009, my dad passed away

This is just a few of the specific events that have happened over this time.  During this entire time, I have been dealing with being a single mom, struggling with finances and discipline issues, and trying to figure out who LISA is. 

I also have gained physical strength and endurance.  I can run for more than 2 secs on a treadmill and on the street.  I can push almost 200 lbs with my legs.  I can lift up to 60 or 70 lbs with my upper body depending on the machine.  I can do at least 10 push ups without stopping.  I can do full sit ups.  I can keep up with the psycho animal spin instructor on Wednesdays. I enjoy body pump and watching myself in the mirror.  I look forward to my Sunday morning 2 ½ hour sessions at the gym and am disappointed when I can’t make it.

A guy in the body pump class yesterday was asking 3 of the girls, myself included, if we liked what we saw in the mirror.  The other 2 girls said no.  Then he started to say how no woman is ever happy with what they see.   I said, you know what, right now at this moment, I AM happy with who I see in the mirror because a year ago, I weighed 70 lbs more and could not do 1/2 of what I do now.  He jokingly told me he found the woman of his dreams.  (he is married and always jokes around with us)  It felt GREAT to be able to say that.  Even if I am not completely happy with who I see, I am happy with how far I've come and proud of myself for being able to say it out loud!

 

Shirt size: was 26-28 now M/L

Pants: was 24, now 10/12

Dress: was 26-28, now 10/12 or M/L

Shoes: was 8 ½ to 9 wide, now 8-8 ½ regular

Bra: was 44DDD, now 38DD

I can wear heels and walk around in them for any given amount of time.  I can wear knee high boots and zip them all the way up.  I can wear skirts that are above the knee instead of all the way to my ankle and I am comfortable wearing more form fitting clothes that show off my new figure.

I have lost an estimated 40 inches around my body.  I say estimated because this is me doing it myself and that is never truly accurate.

The best thing that has happened to me on this journey is the by far all of the wonderful new friendships I have made.  I have met so many people from PA, as well as other states and have spoken to so many others on OH and FB.  I now have friends all over the country.   My self esteem is growing every day, with some bumps along the way, but still growing nonetheless.   I am sure that I have much more to say about this journey and may come back and edit this as I see fit.  But for now, if you have read this far, I thank you.  I hope I have not bored you too much. 

As a lot of you know, I have been struggling through a stall for several months.  In the beginning, I could not pinpoint what was going on.  I was doing pretty much the same thing I had been doing when I was losing.  I tried to change up my food and my exercise and nothing changed. 

 

I know part of my issue is the hormonal stuff going on with being on the Depo Provera.  This should be out of my system in the next few weeks and hopefully that will help some.  BUT, I need to be accountable for my actions.  I am addicted to food.  I like to eat.  There are times when I feel that I cannot stop eating and my pouch is not stopping me.  I am still not eating pasta, rice or bread.  BUT, SF cookies, protein bars and stupid peanut butter have become major trigger foods for me.  I cannot eat just one.  If I have a protein bar for breakfast, it does not squash the craving, it only seems to make me want more sweet stuff throughout the day.  I tried putting the treats in the freezer thinking that would slow me down.. NOT.. I just pull them out and eat them from there.  I cannot have these types of things in my house because I will eat them.

 

I have been feeling very tired lately and could not figure out why.  I thought it was from work and the stress of that and of the things going on in my life.  BUT, I think it’s been a non-stop carb coma.  The cookies have carbs, the protein bars have carbs and the dang peanut butter has carbs.   This is also affecting my time spent in the gym.  I am still going, but not as often and not working out as hard.

 

I know what I SHOULD be doing.  I just can’t get myself to do it.  I have been drinking a lot of decaf coffee thinking it was ok and counting as my liquids—which it does, BUT I always put SF creamer in it.. more carbs and more calories.

 

I am really having a hard time.  I’m not sure what to do about it.  I want to get that book that everyone talks about “Diary of a Food Addict”.  Maybe that will help me.  I am also going to look into finding a mental health professional who deals in eating disorders.  I’ve said it before, but I need to do this before I start gaining weight.  At this point, I’m just not losing. 

 

I go to the surgeon on Thursday, so I will also see what he says.  He probably has the name of a psych and a nut who I can use.   But, as you know, I don’t really agree with much of what he says.  So, we’ll see how that goes.

 

Sorry to drag on so long, but I needed to get this out for me.  Maybe by putting it all out there, I can take responsibility for myself and finally do something about it.

I got the results of my follow up cholesterol screening and things are looking good!!

The numbers were not "that bad" before, but bad enough for the doc to put me on Simvastatin to try to get the numbers lower.  It worked

                            June 2009        November 2009

Total cholesterol        195                       172

HDL  (good)               47                           54

Triglycerides              64                         45

LDL (bad)                  135                        109


I have a follow up appt on Friday with the doc to see what, if anything, we are going to do.  I would assume that she will just keep me on the meds.  It's a low dose.  But, I am HAPPY to see the numbers and will be even happier to see her on Friday because she has not seen me since I was only a few months post op! 

So today I turn 37 years old.  I have not felt this good about myself in a long time.  I actually weigh less today than I did my senior year in high school!! What's up with that?!?! I'll tell you what's up.. this tool, my new friends, my new attitude!!

I had my surgery on Feb. 23.  My heaviest weight was 244 lbs.  Today I weigh in at 178.  That is 66 pounds people!! WOO HOO!!!

I measured myself on the day before surgery and have done so periodically since.  This is a spreadsheet of measuremements from day before surgery, the day I joined the gym, and yesterday when I had the trainer measure me again.

	2/22/2009	4/22/2009	7/7/09		total lost
	done by me	done at gym	done at gym
weight	234.5	200	178		56.5
body fat		41.2	need to do yet
hips	52	46.5	43.5		8.5
thigh	26	22.5	19.5		6.5
waist	47	45.5	39		8
upper arm	16	14.25	12.75		3.25
chest	49	40.25	39.5		9.5
shoulders		44.25	39.5		4.75
shirt size	24-28	XL	L-XL
pants/skirts	22-24	XL or 16/18	L or 14/16
dress	22-24	16/18	14/16
shoe	8 1/2W-9W	8 1/2 - 9	8 - 8 1/2