Hi!

It has been some time since I have written anything.  So much has been going on and a lot not for the better.  Work is crazy and I realize that I am in a no-win situation.  I need to accept that.  I just feel so bad for my staff.  I have also come to realize that the very first impressions I had of my manager some 8 years ago are dead on.  I tried very hard to change a bad relationship with her to something that was beneficial for us both.  After returning from surgery, although she put on the airs of being supporting, I realize she has held my time away from the office against me.  Someone that I thought was a friend here at work and who I am forced to work closely with has turned out to be a back stabber.  I feel so all alone here at work and I have no one to talk to that can help this situation.  Well, I guess that means I need to look out for me and take the step necessary to move on.  I guess I will never go very far in the business world as I can not step all over people to get what I want.  Games are not the way I operate but I will need to play along until I can get out.  I can't afford to lose my cool or my head as I have too many obligations.

Well, the home life is not that much better.  My brother is on my last nerve.  He has lied and caused so much tension in my house that I need to kick him out.  He has his issues and I know he is hurting from the loss of his child 7 weeks ago but that does not give him a free pass to disrupt everyone else's life especially since I am the one who has fully supported him the last 11 years.  He is 32 soon to be 33.  It is time for him to take responsibility for his life and stop making his problems everyone else's problems.

On the weight loss front, I am down 72 pounds since surgery and 117 from my highest weight.  That is about the only thing going right at this point.  Frankly, I don;t know how that is working because, although my portions are small, I have not necessarily been making the best choices.  I have not really done any exercising other than some occasional walking.  I was in a car accident January 2008 and I am having issues with the injuries.  In addition I hurt my arm at work last week so I reel like I am a mess and in a rut.

I need to get out an socialize with people but I can;t find the ambition.  I need to get away from family and work and spend time with me.  I know I need that but I just can't seem to act on it.  Well, tomorrow is another day.  Maybe things will look up.  I hope so because I am about to spend 3 days at a conference with my manager and the back stabber so forgive me for not being optimistic.

Bye for now.
Lynn