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Goals

Increase my self-esteem.

29 People
 in progress, 
7 People
 achieved this

To get my Sexy Back!

3 People
 in progress, 
4 People
 achieved this

not be the big girl any longer

5 People
 in progress, 
1 Person
 achieved this

I WANT TO WEAR A BATHING SUIT WITHOUT FEELING LIKE A WHALE

14 People
 in progress, 
2 People
 achieved this

To wear heals

1 Person
 in progress, 
0 People
 achieved this
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Latest Surgery Support Comments

  • Comment by mxekin65 on 5/24/10 5:09 am
    Good luck on your surgery today!! Wishing you a speedy and uneventful recovery!!! Blessings, Nina
Click here for the surgery support page

I am on a journey to change my life. My weight has kept me down for so long...its time for a change. My motivation is my beautiful little girl and my loving husband. I want to be around for them. I am tired of my weight holding me back. I hope this year brings lots of positive changes. Here is to being the funny slim girl. My ultimate goal is to be Twice the Woman w/ Half the @$$!

            
Lunasweetz69's Blog
Lunasweetz69's Blog


32wks Pregnant
on January 15, 2012 12:14 pm
So I'm still marveling at how this pregnancy has progressed. I am 8months pregnant & between 188-191lbs. I haven't gained at all! I have this cute belly this time around. I feel great and try to enjoy every moment. I'm curious to see how small I really am once this baby is delivered.
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19wks
on October 21, 2011 6:23 am
So I am a lil over 19wks pregnant. I am down to 188.4lbs. Baby is growing beautifully. It think its hilarious that I can fit into medium scrubs and medium/large shirts. Its a great feeling and I get to rock the baby bump...much earlier this time! I am feeling good. Eating plenty. No prob with band. Only complaint is sometimes I am sore with my port if I lay a certain way, but no issues nonetheless. 83lbs down from heaviest has definitely made this pregnancy easier. Very happy to say the least! 
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ONEderland
on July 18, 2011 9:04 am
After 14months, I FINALLY entered ONEderland. Of course I have to laugh at many points.  For one thing, when I bought my size Large Urbane scrubs...I had a feeling I will only be wearing them for a short time. Because sure enough...as soon as I hit 200 on my scale, I found out I was pregnant. I am thrilled, but I definitely see the comical aspect. I am still losing, but of course I have to be careful and make sure I am getting the proper nutrients. Everyone seems obsessed with my band now that I am pregnant. As far as I'm concerned, if I can eat 1200-1600cal without any protest...why should I take the fluid out? I lost close to 30lbs with my 1st pregnancy. Now if I was skinny, I see the problem, but lets face it...I'm still a big girl and I have plenty of reserves. So for now, no adjustment and I have the friendly pain in the ass named morning sickness =o)
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The mind game
on July 2, 2011 6:50 am

So clearly I know I'm getting smaller, but the #s can play such a mind game with you. I'm down to 202.4lbs. Which is pretty incredible. The largest I have been was 270. So I'm down essentially 68lbs overall. I am still in the 200s, but a glorious moment happened yesterday! I bough size LARGE in Urbane scrubs. Not 3X, Not 2X, Not XL...but LARGE! I don't have that f'n X in my size. I was sooo excited! It was very form fitting, but I bought it and I felt that I looked good in it. I think I will wait until my cycle has come and gone before I display it for the world to see. But I am very proud. It was only a few wks ago where the size was TOO tight. I was excited just to get it over my @$$, but NOW it FITS!!!!!! What a feeling.

I suffer from dysmorphia. I still have the mentality of a fatty, but I'm becoming more confident and bolder. I no longer shudder at the thought of a full body shot. I actually embrace it! I guess Zumba has been working out for me haha.

I am working so much lately, that my energy levels are depleted, but I have to dig deep and find the courage and will to go on. I must put my daughter down and get my exercise done. Zumba is definitely fun. I really miss my trainer. I miss having the opportunity to take a class.

I want to do Body Pump again, but I'm horrified by the trauma it will do to my body. Will I fear sidewalks again?? I remember I felt every muscle in my body the 1st time I did it.

As soon as this work marathon is over. I am going back to the gym. I have a lil bit of time before October/November. Will I do the 5K?

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Fighting thru the Plateau
on June 18, 2011 6:14 am
As of this morning, I am 205.2lbs. I am happy with that # bc the #s r finally going down again. I have been stuck between 207.6-206.4lbs for a few wks. Since having to stop my personal training and working more, I have become complacent and lazy. This wk I have been better. I did Zumba twice and plan to keep on track. I really do enjoy those videos bc if I'm having fun, I'm not thinking about the pain...too much anyway. 

I had some big milestones as of late. I got into Lane Bryant size 14 jeans. I went into the Gap and closed size 16 jeans (they run super small!). I bought a size 16 bathing suit and actually look REALLY good in it. I have even seen my collarbones on a consistent basis. So I'm pretty excited! I am proud to say I am no longer embarrassed to take a full body picture. I remember my cropping skills saved me from pictures that made me want to vomit. I was always a breast & up picture taker. My 28th bday, I took some fun pics and I was very pleased with myself.

I can still see ONEderland. I just have to hunkerdown and just DO IT! I know I'm losing. I know I can do it. Just a strange feeling having to be accountable and not having anyone screaming at me to do something lol. I miss Sean entirely. But with my hubby's injury, its impossible to do right now.

I jog/walked 1 mi the other day. It felt good and horrible at the same time. I didn't help that it was hotter than hell outside. My coworker started jogging too. She is inspiring me. But until we can get thru the digusting summer, I think I will continue my workouts at home...for the most part!

I think the hardest thing right now is pushing thru the exhaustion.

One another note...I have discovered the ugly truth of being a former "super obese" beauty. I had not realized how much skin I have accumulated at my arms. It just hangs now. My arms r still big, but I can clearly see where the skin and I separate. I can knock someone out with my flappers! I am considering the skin removal surgery later, but the thought of the amt of pain scares me half to death!

I have to remember that I'm still beautiful, my boobs r still big & wonderful, and I have a shape I can be proud of...whats some extra skin??
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My Story

I have always been the funny fat girl! I always hid behind my personality and gift to hide behind my jokes. It was always ok for me to joke about my weight, because it was a defense mechanism, but it always crushed me when others joined in. I am finally getting the LapBand done. I have been trying to get it for the last 8 yrs and I'm finally on my way. I am determined to get my sexy back! I want to feel fit, sexy, happy, confident, and energetic. I have made a list of all the things I dream of doing, but have not because of my insecurities and body size. I have made a pact to improve my life, my mind, and my body. I will be the mother and wife I know I can be. No more fear, no more insecurities, I will finally start living the life I deserve!