... with reservations ...  I've been torn as to WHAT I should finally weight.  I asked my doctor a few weeks ago for the first time.  I had put 125.  I wasn't sure if that was unrealistic or not, but that had always been my perfect weight.  Of course, I only stayed there for a few weeks after doing Nutrisystem when I was about 23 !  My doctor said I shouldn't go any lower than 130.  That "at my age" I could look too bone"y" or drawn in my face.  Hmmmmm  So, I decided to raise it to 130 .. but I still secretly hope that I can go lower ... MAYBE ... I guess I have to see when I get there.  Of course, it puts me closer to goal, which is nice, especially since things have slowwwwwwed down.  I'm 5'4" (and a quarter !) .. I don't know ... any input ?  Right now, I am about 151.  THIS used to be my WAY fat weight ... but I feel like I look pretty good compared to how I USED to feel at this weight ... so I am hoping I will feel GREAT at 130 .. or wherever I land !

What a terrible dilemma, huh ?  How thin should I let myself get ??    Before surgery I had given up on THAT, for sure !
New picture in a week.  I am firmly wearing a size 10 .. small or medium top .. medium yoga pants !  Who woulda thought ?

So ... at my son's band practice tonight one of the mom's brought Krispy Kreme donuts  !!  They were actually their new MINI donuts so not too bad ... but normally, I can only eat a couple bites of anything !!!  WELL ... that baby slid down SO fast ...  and it was GOOD !!!

I don't even feel guilty ... I've been so good and I looked it up and it was only 90 calories ... as we all say ... "ya have to live a little" ... but what an eye opener to be able to eat the whole thing so easily !

I bought two medium shirts at Beach Bums yesterday and they FIT !!  Makes that inability to eat worth it !!

I input my weight today into fitday, and I am now at a BMI of 29.85 .  My goal weight is 125, which is pretty low...  I KNOW I will be OK at 135 - 140, but I figure "why not aim high" ??  I guess if when I get there it doesn't seem reasonable, I will readjust.  Part of me wants to change my ticker to 135 or so because it would be nice to see that smaller number/need to lose !  My husband and others are starting to say they can't see how I could lose another 50 pounds .. but  I know that is normal from reading everyone's posts.

I think I will continue on for now.  I would love to be on the smaller side so if I gain back that 5 or so pounds it won't matter.
Who am I kidding ?  I would LOVE to be a size 5 !  Is that unreasonable ?  To be able to wear ANYTHING without worry ?  After all of these years feeling like a "blob" ??  I know it won't change ALL of my insecurities or problems in life.  We all have to "deal" with something.  That IS life, afterall ... but to feel light and free and comfortable in my skin ..  that seems like a good goal.  And yes, I DO already feel SO so much better.  I can confidently go into that tiny bathroom stall . ..  ..  , etc...
I'm just so glad, today, to be out of the "obese range" and on my way to better health...  I fit into a size 14 today.  They were a LITTLE tight around the middle, but it makes me happy to be moving down.  If I'm going to eat NOTHING, I'd better get smaller !

I had given up on Target.  No, it isn't some cute little boutique anyway, but I could no longer fit into their clothing ... so ... whatever, right ?

Some time after surgery, I went in and found the cutest t-shirts.  They have a full line of "hippie style" shirts with peace signs, etc.  Well, I grew up in the 70's so I couldn't resist buying up a few in XX-Large.  Yay, they fit !!  I have to buy clothes as I lose.  I have SOME left over, but am quickly growing out of them.  Target is a decent place to get them without spending TOO much money.  T-shirts are 12 bucks.  I've been wearing a lot of capri's, but have been spending the money to buy them at Avenue... just a couple at a time until I am sized OUTTA there.

Anyway, the last time I want to Target about a month ago, I bought some X-Larges... just a couple again.  And they FIT !!
Tonight I went back because I realized I had 4 GRAY T-shirts... LOL  Gray with peace sign, gray with peace, love on it, gray with a really cool castle design that I had gotten my son for xmas (MEDIUM must be a mistake) but it was way TOO v-neck.
WELL ... I fit into a LARGE !!!  Woo-Hoo ... Y'all should check it out.  I got a yellow shirt that has woodstock art on it ... they have some really cute stuff.

That's all I think.  Since I got my waist back, I haven't been able to "see" the loss as much.  Going from "not fitting" at all, to a size large made my night !