Lynette1962

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am stocking up the shelves with diet jello and crystal light in preparation for this upcoming Friday when I start my Optifast.  
I have purchased some diet ice tea and I am trying to get any cravings out of my system but it's weird - I don't really crave anything that would be catergorized as "bad" or unhealthy.  Maybe this is my body's way of saying that this is the time for the surgery. 

I sent out an e-mail to some friends and family announcing my surgery date - the response so far has been positive although afew have noted that they didn't feel I needed the WLS; kinda a compliment but they don't see me naked and they also don't see the emotional toll that my weight has played on me day after day. 

I am viewing many before/during and after photo's - although I hate getting my picture taken, I will have to ensure I take my picture taken monthly so that I can monitor my progress.  

 I received my optifast yesterday and I start it a week today. 
I have been eating like a PIG lately and I am gaining weight steadily.  I am now 229.5 
I have (or am choosing) to have no control over what I put in my mouth - I don't care what I eat and feel myself getting fatter by the day. 
I am discouraged and just want to start Optifast and get this surgery !!!!!!!!!!!

Sept 20/11 - I am starting to tell more friends and family about my upcoming WLS.  I have been a very private person which I am sure has lead to my obesity.  In discussing this surgery with friends and family, I realize their will be people that support me and other's that will critique and question my decision BUT I have come to learn that WLS is not only for health reason's but also for psychologically reasons.  
I have been dealing with my weight issues ( emotional eating, excessive use of laxatives, bullying issues, sneak eating, yoyo dieting, self - hatred for my body, emotional abuse in regards to my body,  $$$ spent on weight loss programs, society stigma re: obesity, recent health issues related to my obesity) for over 40 years.  It is now time to take control and do something for me.  
Bob and I are starting to take walks - carrying around this excess weight is disgusting.  My hips are throbbing and I have to take many stops when climbing hills in the conservation park.  
I barely have any clothes that fit anymore and I am approaching my highest weight of 234...
I am ready to begin Optifast (Sept 30/11)
I am ready for the surgery (Oct 14/11) 

Surgery in 24 days 

 After sitting in traffic for 2 hours, waiting in the waiting room for 30 minutes, getting weighed in (UGHHHHH), filling in some paper work and waiting another 2 hours, I finally got to meet with Dr. Jackson today.  

We reviewed my medical background and he noted that I was a good candidate for WLS.  My chart indicated that I was "morbidity obese" - those words stung like a bee sting ....and I obsessed on those 2 words for several minutes as I digested the true state of my body and the damage I have caused to my body through overeating and lack of exercises.   

*Morbid obesity = 100 pounds overweight
According to the BMI and my height, my ideal weight should be below 127.5 (or a bmi of 24.9). 
Currently my BMI is 44.4
WOW .......
So once all the paper work was completed, the surgery procedure was reviewed, the surgery date was scheduled for October 14/11 @ noon.  As other's have noted on this forum - this will be my new birthday.  I start the optifast on Sept 30/11 and will be on this for 2 weeks.  I will miss the dinner at the family wedding on October 1st, I will miss the thanksgiving dinner on October 9, I will miss the second thanksgiving dinner on October 10th - but I will NOT miss being MORBIDITY OBESE in a year from now. 

So Bob and I were @ Ribfest in Oshawa last night - had some yummy chicken (but only ate half of the serving).  Bob had some shredded pork on a bun and then had an icecream cone (which I passed up as I was really full).  

I am trying to listen to my body and stop eating when I am full - I know once I have the surgery I will definitely have to do this.  

When at the Ribfest we both purchased a negative ion energy bracelet.

According to the brochure - the bracelet contains a "strong negative ion compound made of rich natural minerals that are encapsulated in the silicone and the frequency it creates works with the body's natural energy flow."  "The Energy Armor encapsultation process allows the ions to continually release healthy frequences when in contact with human electrical fields."
Benefits include
-higher level of focus,concentration
-increased feeling of serenity and wellbeing
-improved strength, flexibility and balance
-relief from chronic joint and muscle pain
-restful sleep
-lessened recovery times from an injury or workouts
-improved athletic performance
-indefinite design to carry the freqency. 

So - we will see how and if they work - Bob noted he woke up this morning without knee pain.  They also claim they help with recovery after surgery.  There is alot of information on the internet, some positive, some negative..... I am not endorsing this product only writing about it and will monitor any changes in my health to see if I notice any changes. 

 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?authkey=CJCu_tcC&key=0AvBMWgPqaVJldGRNSlJkcmRZSmVTNWhFbVJEWWhFX1E&hl=en&authkey=CJCu_tcC#gid=0

SEPT 10/11 -  I sit here and feel my rolls hanging over my pants - my stomach is bloated and I feel very fat.  In medical terms I am morbidly obese.  I weigh 227 pounds and I am 5 feet tall. 

My mother told me she would never allow herself to weigh over 200 pounds but  I am positive my mother weighed over 200 pounds - she was wearing a size 18 - 20 W before she became ill.  She struggled with her weight from the time she was pregnant with my brother - for over 40 years she fought the battle. High cholesterol, high blood pressure caught up with her in the end and she died of multiple strokes.  

My father was overweight as a child and has fought the battle for over 70 years....with 2 heart bypass surgeries he has suffered because of his weight.  Recently he has made the necessary changes but it is a daily challenge for him.  

My dad has asked that I think of this surgery thoroughly after my consultation with the doctor.  I am turning 50 next year, I have struggled with my weight for the last 40 years, if I don' t have the surgery I will struggle for the rest of my life.  
-How long will I survive carrying this weight ?
-What medical complications will it cause?
-What medical complications has it already caused? 
-What emotional toll has it already played in my life? 
-Can I live in this body (and can I ever accept this body?) for the rest of my life?

If I do have the surgery?
-Do I "see" it is a quick fix?
-How will I deal with my emotional love affair with food? 
-How will I deal with my emotions other than stuffing them down with food?
-Can I adjust to the new eating method?
-Do the health benefits outweight the risks

All I know is that I am tired of yoyo dieting, losing/gaining weight over and over again, feeling horrible about my body, not even wanting to get weighed at my doctor's appointment, not wanting my photo taken because of my weight, wearing a body garment in the middle of summer because of my f-in rolls, having to shop in the plus size department and being limited to what I can wear, laying in bed and feeling my rolls surround my body, sweating - sweating and more sweating and knowing that being overweight can cause medical conditions like heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes, cancer and early death. 

Am I ready to take the next step -  YES

Sept 2/11 - I got the phone call today that I have been waiting for !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I meet with the surgeon - Dr. T. Grantcharov @ TWH on Sept 9/11 - Can't wait although I understand (from the message boards) - he has more of a delay in booking the surgeries than the other surgeon's.... I just want to start my new life !!!

Sept 5/11 - So I am going to try and get my surgeon changed; I understand Dr. Grantcharov takes up to 3 months to book his surgeries and I am WAY to impatient to wait that long !!!!.  I sent an e-mail to the psychologist to see if that is possible even if it means waiting longer for the initial consultation with a new surgeon.  

Sept 7/11 - Ok so I changed the surgeon/hospital to TWH - my meeting with the surgeon is for Sept 16/11.