I Should Be Excited, But I'm Not

Sep 16, 2011

Today I had to break down and buy new tennis shoes and some socks. I had been feeling pretty high on the hog (so to speak) lately over my clothes having the baggy fit. At a training session the other night I almost lost my pants (literally) while kicking the poo out of a pad the trainer was holding. Would have been funny for him, a little shocking for the spin class across the hall...

I have three or four t-shirts I wear to the gym. They've gotten fairly large, but I hesitate to purchase any more right now because I have been dropping inches like crazy. I just feel it's a waste of money...for the moment. I did pick up a sports bra and a pair of gym pants.

The bra was a little tight when I put it on, but then seemed to "fit" (I really can't explain it any better). The pants were snug around my hips and that big old extra roll in front (not the trunk, but similiar). I could move and whatnot, I didn't suffocate myself, or have "muffin top" (side note: that's a stupid phrase). I figured the long t-shirts I've been wearing might be viable for a few more weeks longer in light of what I saw in the mirror.

I have cleaned out the closet of clothes which no longer fit, have finally started to touch the pants which have been patiently waiting for me for months, got new socks because the old ones fall down. I should have been beside myself with excitement over purchasing something off the rack in a regular department store. In one swing I managed to deflate my balloon. I didn't like what I saw, all those NSV's I've been posting as of late just sort of faded into the carpet. All I heard in my head was, "You're STIll fat."

God help me, I don't want to get caught up in that mind mess. How can I move past it?

-Traci
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About Me
Royal Oak, MI
Location
28.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
05/17/2011
Surgery Date
Dec 08, 2010
Member Since

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