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Goals

have a family picture taken, and not be ashamed

90 People
 in progress, 
42 People
 achieved this

Weigh under 225 lbs

1 Person
 in progress, 
0 People
 achieved this
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Surgeon Testimonial

Alfonso Torquati M.D., MSci
Dr. Torquati is a very good surgeon. He has a heavy Italian accent, so he is sometimes hard to understand. You have to listen closely! He was very patient in answering all questions I had before surgery and the ones I have had since surgery. I had one problem and called the Duke office. They called his cell phone and he called me from the hospital. He reassured me and also told me that I could call him anytime and have him paged and he would personally talk to me (instead of a \"fellow\"). I also have his email address if I need anything. I would definately recommend him to other people. He isn't afraid to go against \"regiment\" if it is best for the patient (for example he let me start semi solid foods earlier than \"protocol\" dictated because of problems I was having.)
Latest Surgery Support Comments

  • Comment by Deedums on 3/2/08 10:12 am
    Kathy, best wishes on the first day of the rest of your life. I will be joining you on the loosers bench the same day. My prayers and positive thoughts are with you.
  • Comment by Lisalu on 3/1/08 2:20 pm
    Best of luck with your surgery!! How exciting that you are about to start a whole new chapter to your book of life. I will be thinking of you and will check back to see how things went. Good luck!!!!
  • Comment by carolyn153 on 2/13/08 7:57 pm
    Best Wishes for an uneventful surgery! 3/3 - a new you and me! We'll be off those meds in no time and boot the CPAP to the curb! Can't wait! Keep us updated and see you on the loser's bench! ~Carolyn153
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Kathy's Journey
Kathy's Blog


New Year, Old Habits
on January 9, 2009 4:48 am
Hi everyone!  YES, I am still alive!!  Sorry I have been so out of touch lately.  Nothing's wrong, I've just been busy.  My husband has discovered Facebook so he dominates the computer alot at night.  (and that's not a complaint, he would gladly hand the laptop over to me if I asked).  Like I've said before, I just get too busy at night to think about it sometimes.  Life is good though.  The holidays were great.  A 3 year old makes it magical!!  I've avoided catching the nasty cold/flu bug that's been going around (despite most of my family and my son having it).  Food wise, I pretty much ate what I wanted through Christmas and New Years.  Which means I ate too much.  I didn't gain though, so that's what I'm focusing on.  Of course I didn't lose either - lol.

My goal for 2009 - besides losing these last 60 lbs - is to STOP SNACKING SO MUCH!!!  That is my "old habit" that I'm dragging into 2009.  I have to stop.  No whining, no complaining, I just have to stop.  I don't know why I do it.  I can't figure out why I eat out of habit.  I'm NOT hungry, so why do I do it?  I guess if I knew that, I wouldn't be doing it huh?  I think it's just a matter of willpower.  Just DON'T DO IT!  I know I've blogged this same type of blog before but it's still that monkey hanging on my back.  Eating out of habit instead of hunger.  I've read some articles about postive affirmation lately - I've always that was a bunch of b---s---, but this morning I looked in the mirror and said - outloud - ok, you can do this.  You can have a DAY of eating right.  Yeah, it felt corny (and does even more so when I sit here and type it and read it) but it's true.  I CAN have a day of "eating right".  Or as a friend of mine puts it - EAT CLEAN.  I think I like that phrase better.

I did start back to the gym this week and I've gotta say - I didn't realize how much I MISSED going!!  A year ago I would have never said that.  I really did miss the exercising.  I'm hoping to stay on a good schedule for 2009 again.  I feel so much better when I go!

Ok, so that's my update!  I haven't taken pictures in 2 months because there isn't a lot of change.  I will probably take some again in a month or so.  I do need to do measurements again.

Life is good, I am very happy and I hope you are too!
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Christmas Card Picture
on December 4, 2008 6:04 pm
I just uploaded the picture we took tonight in front of our Christmas tree to use for our Christmas card this year.  Last year I only took a picture of Jason and Macymoo because there was NO WAY I was going to put my FAT SELF in the picture.  This year I took one of all of us and I'm very pleased with it!!  Not bad for us putting the camera on the table and setting the timer huh?  This was the first one we took too.  I can't believe even Macymoo is looking at the camera!!  If you get a chance, go back and look at some of my other pictures.  I have one the week before surgery of me, Ken and Jason.  WOW! WOW! WOW!  What a difference!!!
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Today was better.
on December 3, 2008 6:45 pm
Not "perfect" but much better.  And I'm ok with that.  I felt more in control.  I think putting it out there for everyone to see helped hold me accountable.  I stopped myself from eating a couple of times today when I wasn't hungry.

I had a follow up with the liver dr today.  What a waste of time.  I didn't even see the doc, saw the pa.  She asked a bunch of questions, poked on my stomach to feel my liver, drew blood and told me to come back in 6 months.  Well at least it was a nice break from work this morning - lol!

Tomorrow is another day and hopefully another good one.  Thanks for your support!
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I'd really rather you didn't read this post
on December 2, 2008 6:15 pm
I'm lucky to have a lot of family and friends that support me.  I didn't realize how many people read this blog that haven't had surgery - those family and friends I just mentioned - until one of them happens to tell me that they read my blog.  So, having said that, I would really rather they didn't read this post because I don't want them disappointed in me.  I feel like I need to put this out there, in writing though, to see if it will help me.

I am eating too much.

There.  I said it.  I admit it.  I am hanging my head in shame at myself.  And no, this isn't some pity party, feel sorry for myself kind of thing.  It's a true confession.  I feel like a food addict or something.  Like I should be in a 12 step program (and I'm NOT knocking those programs).  I am slowly sabatoging myself by eating too much.  I see it.  I am aware of it.  I just plain eat too much.  And I don't mean volume wise, I mean that I eat too often and the wrong things.  I eat too often when I'm not really hungry.  It is a habit.  Nothing else.  I KNOW THIS.  So why don't I stop it?  I feel like I'm going into the same eating mode that got me to the point of needing this surgery in the first place.  I don't want to go back to where I came from.  I want to rise above.  For the past month, every day I say - I'm going to do better today.  And then I don't.  I eat too much over the course of a day.  And too many sweets and bad things.  I don't know how to stop but I know I need to.  Once again, I am hoping for a better tomorrow.  Maybe tomorrow will finally be the day.  I hope so because I'm so tired of feeling this way.
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Please tell me I'm not the only one....
on December 1, 2008 8:00 pm

......that didn't LOSE WEIGHT over Thanksgiving.  Sheesh.  I mean, I'm glad for those of you that seem to lose no matter what you do, but I'm not one of them.  I guess I'm jealous because that's not me.  I'm staying the same.  I'm sure it will start going down again soon so I'm hanging on.  Had a good Thanksgiving and even took an extra day off today.  We did a little shopping and went to the movies.  We saw "Four Christmases" and it was good.

Hope everyone has a great week!

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My Story

Ok, my story.  I am 39 years old and have been married for almost 14 years to a wonderful man who is my best friend in every way.  I can't imagine my life without him.  He is my rock.  We have a son who is almost 3.  

I have been heavy off and on during my life (mostly on!).  I was a chubby child and when I was 15, I went to Weight Watchers with my mom and lost 30 lbs, taking me to 130 lbs, or a perfect size 9.  I stayed this size through the rest of high school (which was a great time to be thin!) and until I was in my early 20's.  I got a "desk job" (which I am still in - 20 years later) and then the pounds started coming back on.  I am at my heaviest weight right now.  I'm still too ashamed to even put in writing what that is.  Hopefully I will have the courage to do that soon enough!