So things have been rough lately.  I've had some added stress at home and on top of going back to work and worrying about how I'm doing physically, it's been too much.  Before this afternoon, I've been in a bad place.  I kept telling myself that the surgery wasn't going to work and that nothing would work; I would always be fat.  I've had a few break downs where all I wanted to do was cry. 

I tell everyone that I had stomach surgery, not brain surgery.  My brain is having to adjust to my new lifestyle and the hormone changes.  The "the thought of food makes me sick" phase is over and now I have to tell my "fat kid" brain to hush.  Sometimes I really want to eat something, but I never do because the reason and education of this surgery kicks in.  The weight loss may be easier with having surgery, but the mental changes are hard to deal with.  I'm doing it, most days, one day at a time.

Now for the good part...
Today was my follow up visit with Dr. Scott.  I was hoping to have lost 15 pounds in the 24 days since surgery.  When my weight came up on the scale, I was shocked.  I've lost 32 pounds since my pre-op appointment!  Some of my co-workers are saying they can tell I've lost weight, so that's an added bonus.  I notice that my clothes fit better and I can wear some of the things that were too tight to wear before.  My wedding rings are loose and keep turing on my finger.  I hate that I always lose weight in my hands first!  I had my first dumping a few days ago.  It turns out that the "fruit" in the cottage cheese doubles isn't very good for you because of the added sugar.  

Everything went well in surgery with no complications.  I was able to walk a few times and eat about an ounce and a half of chicken broth.  The next morning, I wanted to walk.  I was walking down the hall as the double doors to the unit opened and there came my surgeon.  He saw me up and moving and his face lit up.  I was doing so well that I was able to come home the next afternoon.  My husband and parents have been so supportive of me and making sure that I have everything I need to start my healthy journey. 

Today is the first day that I decided to stay home while my husband is at work.  I can move okay and do most everything except bend over to the floor.  I might be able to do that, but I'm afraid I'll strain myself too much.  I'm having issues getting in enough protein and water.  It seems like between the 20-30 minute meal times and then waiting 30-45 minutes to drink and then having to eat six times a day, that I can't get everything in.  I'm only comfortable eating about 2-2 1/2 ounces at a time.  I'm praying that I can learn how to juggle the eating and drinking behaviors soon.