So thankful!

Oct 19, 2014

I know Thanksgiving was last weekend, but I am finding I have more and more to be thankful for in respect to my decision to have WLS.  I am thankful for people who are going through (or have gone through it) and are sticking to the rules.  I am shocked on a daily basis of the stuff people say here or on Facebook groups that have me wondering WTH they are even going through with the surgery?!??!?!?!   It really does make me want to rip my hair out.  I truly appreciate those who have taken their decision seriously and are making good choices.  I am learning so much.  

I guess this also has a personal impact on me as I was not always a WLS supporter.  My sister dropped the bomb that she was looking into it at the end of a long day of wandering around Canada's Wonderland with the kids.  My reaction probably wasn't the best, but it was mostly out of concern.  I'd never known anyone who'd had the surgery.  How risky was it?  She had 3 kids to think about.....and on and on.  Well, she took my reaction as being unsupportive, whereas really I was just concerned and shocked!  

Fast forward a bit and my sister, an ER nurse, ended up having the surgery.  All the stuff I'm reading about---eating protein first etc.  I never saw her do!  Two months after surgery, it's Christmas and she's already drinking alcohol.  I questioned the safety of doing that and she got defensive.  Again, wanting to arm myself with information, I spent the night in bed on my ipad reading about it.  It was definitely not recommended.   Long story short,  my sister has addiction transfer to alcohol, her marriage has fallen apart and in a drunken episode, she disowned me.  It is painful.  And it had clouded my opinion of WLS.  It impacted my decision to not go through with it the first time around in Guelph.  I didn't want to become a hot mess! 

I'm back at Guelph and I am doing it this time.  I am fully committed and am finally ready to get out of my comfort zone that being overweight has given me.  I'm ready to shed my insulation and have the outside match my inside.  (I have always joked that I have reverse anorexia....I always am shocked at just how fat I am!)  The SW recommended I join a Craving Change group, which I have.  It's mostly older ladies in their 60s, but we have a riot once a month.  Lots and lots of laughs.  I have also started meeting with a psychologist to help me sort out some of my eating issues.  I don't know how much she's helping, but our conversations often lead me to new discoveries about myself and that's what it's all about.

It's a journey and I'm on the path.  And I can't wait to see what's in store.

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