First things first! Today is Troy's Birthday!



Thank you my wonderful husband for being there for me and supporting me through all of this. I love you!

Now, onto the other stuff...

Want to know how I feel about my scale?



I WISH I could shun my scale. A lot of people think that you should put the scale away when it isn't moving, but I think that is a mistake. Oh, and it didn't move, by the way. Still sitting at 209.5. At least it didn't move in the wrong direction. But, anyway, the reason I think it is a mistake to put the scale away if it is pissing you off, like mine is now, is because it gets you into trouble. Your clothes still fit and you still look great and so you don't get on the scale for a month and then, when you do, BLAMMO - you could be up 5 or 6 pounds. Personally, I want to know what the number on the scale is every day. I know about water weight and how it affects the scale. I know about stress and how it affects weight loss. I know I am not eating an extra 3,500 calories in a day so if it fluctuates up a pound I know it isn't fat. And even though I still get pissed that the number on the scale just isn't moving because of all these things, it is still a much better number than it was a year ago. Much, much better. I think NOT having a scale in the house for the last 10 years is why I got so fat in the first place. That is why I will always, forever more, step on that scale every single morning and face whatever the number is. That way I know I will never go back to where I was.

So, I went back to the personal trainer. Hooray! And I HURT today! Boo! But it is all good. I think it will help to elevate the stress I am under and maybe get the scale moving again.

I am under a lot of stress right now. I am not sure about this real estate thing and I hate that I am doubting myself. The open house on Saturday sucked. Not one person came. The open house on Sunday was a little better, but only one person who came through was not working with a Realtor and, although she gave me her info to send her properties, she has a lease on a house until this spring and won't be buying anything till then. *Le Sigh* Plus, I hate not having group health insurance and having to send a check to COBRA my benefits for $688.00 every month. I have a friend who is working for The Hilton selling timeshare. I sent him my resume. The only thing is that it is phone work. And I like being out and about and talking to people face to face now that I am not fat anymore. But the hours are 12:00 - 6"00 Monday - Friday and there is health insurance, a minimum wage salary, and the opportunity to make big commissions. According to my friend the average income is 80-90K / year. So, I will check it out. My personal trainer sells timeshare face to face for Wyndham Resorts and they might be hiring out by Disney. I am also going to check that out. Maybe I am the kind of person who is better off going to a job and then not thinking about it when they are not there. I dunno. I do know that I worked 8 hours on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday this past weekend and didn't get much from it. I am very social - I always have been , just more so now - and I like to have my free time. This whole real estate agent thing does not seem to allow for much free time. Anyhow, I am rambling on. I will let you know what happens.

I see Dr. Kim tomorrow for my year check-up. I know, it has really been 12 months - but the trip to Africa and his moving to new offices pushed back the time. I really wish I was going in there under 200 pounds for that visit. Oh well.

I wish I could say I lost the three pounds I put on over the last 2 weeks, but I can't. What I can say it that I did not gain a thing this week! So, hooray for that. I am holding at 109.5. I did not go back to the person trainer last week because of scheduling. He was sick last week. And I was going to go back last night and ended up meeting a client with Pam at 6:00 PM. I know, I know - that sucks! I need to make the time to do my personal training if I want to continue the weight loss. I think what I am going to have to do is switch it up to the morning. What I am finding as a Realtor is that things happen during the day that extend the time you are working. Before, I was done at 5:00 every day. Now, not so much.

About work. I am getting excited! Excited because I have a way to pick up some buyers. I am going to be doing open houses for some of Pam's properties and another agent here at Re/Max Central named Todd. If a buyer comes in and wants to buy the house, and they do not have a real estate agent that they are already working with, then I will become the buyer's agent on the property. Woot! And, if they don't want that house, I might be able to find them another house. I am doing two open houses this weekend. One for Todd on Saturday and one for Pam on Sunday. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me that all goes well and that I pick up at least ONE client.



That's about all for this week. I hope the scale moves in the right direction next week! I did start my period today, so that should actually help! I hope!

The scale sucks. I am serious. I weighed in at 209.5 today - up three whole freaking pounds since I got home from vacation. I know I am not eating out of control. Hell, we had hamburgers for dinner last night and I STILL can't eat a whole one. I was able to eat about 3/4ths. So, it isn't "pounds" but still.... it kinda is... because it is the number on the scale and that is the way we measure our success. I know it isn't the only way that we measure our success - we measure it in inches lost and clothing sizes discarded - but the scale it the main way and I am obsessed with the number that stares back at me ever morning. And this morning I was bummed. Well, bummed and not bummed because yesterday the scale said 210.5 so at least is was down a "pound." Still, today I am feeling like I will never weigh under 200.

But I know I will. I start back with my personal training tomorrow, so that will help a lot. Even though I was definitely eating more calories while we were on vacation, I was also moving a lot more. And I was under zero stress. Stress is all around me since coming home. Starting a new career sucks. Don't get me wrong, I am excited to be a real estate agent, I have wanted to do this for a long long time, but it is hard. And I really wish that I wasn't forced into making this move at a time that is the worst real estate market in recent history. I should have quit yellow pages 4 years ago when everyone was riding the real estate bubble - I would have built up a huge client base and have no worries right now. But, oh well, I can't go back and change it. Plus, three of the last 4 years in yellow pages were very good to me. *sigh* All I can do is move forward. My listing appointment went well last week - I learned a lot. But my friend isn't going to list until January because she and her husband want to make improvements to their property so they can sell it for more. Make sense and it is what is going to work for them, but it is a bummer to not have a listing. If I can get a litsting, I will get buyers because they will call from the sign in the yard.

I will work on getting in more protein, more water and more exercise and we will see what the scale brings next week.