When my pre surgery meeting with Dr. LePort was scheduled it seemed so far away. However, looking back--time seems to have flown, and is just around the corner--next week, in fact. During the passing weeks I have been getting "cold feet". The complications that others are having is making me nervous. You see--I don't hate myself because I am so obese. In fact I rather like myself. If I had "my druthers" I wouldn't choose to be this size; however, the circumstances and choices of my life have placed me where I am today. Yesterday I was jolted back into reality when I came within a breath of falling and kissing the carpet yet again!!!  When I fell twice in March and couldn't get up--and no one was able to help me get up--I decided that I might fall again but I would never be so heavy that I would end up on the front page of the paper. I could just see the headlines, "Wall removed from home to extricate super--super obese woman".  I even had my husband promise to cover me before he called the paramedics! So--here I am today--nursing my fears but still knowing that I must take the risk. The thought of falling, breaking a bone or worse, and ending up in a nursing home makes the risks of the surgery bareable. I continue to pray for those experiencing complications and pray that I do not have to walk that path. I think they will understand...

I survived Thanksgiving intact and still sane. My husband and I decided to just get take outs from Boston Market so as not to have to deal with portion control and left overs. However, we received an invitation to join with our neighbors outside. It was a beautiful day, about 70 degrees and mostly sunny. It was interesting to have an international day with people from Columbia, Argentina, Mexico, Thailand and Egypt. It's an over 55 neighborhood and most of our families are scattered. We had traditional food as well as from other cultures. I was reasonably good with only one teaspoon of pumpkin pie, pecan pie and 2 t. of chocolate cake. The only thing that created the "more"syndrone was the chocolate; however, I remained seated and made it!!! The English was broken and somewhat puzzling at time, but that was half of the fun. We all managed and had lots of laughs sharing photos of our homeland and families. No interperters needed for that! Everyone understands family when miles separate us. 

Oh my! that felt so good as my dress slid over me and almost down to the floor! I had just tried it on a couple of weeks ago and was waiting for it to get cooler or at least overcast here in SoCal. I wore the dress anyway---even though I nearly tripped on the hem! So good--so good!

Passed my EKG...but...like the Energizer Bunny...still going, going, and going...still waiting for that surgery date. Not desparing, though...just ready to get it on! The one advantage is that I am using this time to loose weight--taking off 48 lbs. since May. So why am I still considering WLS? Because I know how to loose weight and have been successful multiple times in my life. I even lost 80 lbs. with my first pregnacy! Yep...I know how to do it. What I'm not able to do is keep at it long enough to reach my goal and maintain. I've lost thousands of pounds and gained it all back. Up and down...up and down...I am convinced that WLS is the tool I need to make it and stop the insanity of yo-yo dieting. And...as wonderful as a 48 lb. loss is...it's just a drop in the bucket since I have a BMI over 70...so...bring it on Dr. LePort. I'm ready! 

I went to the support group meeting in Fountain Valley Thursday night. I do wish I lived closer so I could go more ofter. I really like the way Dr. LeMont leads the meeting and I always come away armed with new ways to be a success. 

I was told it takes about two weeks after the EKG clearance for the paper work to filter through all the hands to schedule my surgery.  I hope to have THE good news next week...