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Surgeon TestimonialAndrew Duffy, M.D.Dr. Andrew Duffy is the best!!! He is with Yale University Bariatric Surgeons - a center for excellence and he is in with Dr. Robert Bell. I went to the seminar on 12/8/06 and listened attentively to all they had so say. Needless to say when Dr. Duffy presented I just knew that this is the guy I was looking for to do my surgery - he knew his stuff and he was kind and sensitive to my questions. I was getting frustrated because I could not get an appointment for my psych eval prior to 1/07 and he was kind enough to give me the name of Mark Gaynor, LCSW and I got an appointment right away. My paperwork was all complete and in Dr. Duffy's office by 1/2/07. Since I did not get a call with an appointment by 1/3/07, the very next day, I decided to e-mail Dr. Duffy on our Groupwise system that we use at Yale and I said \"I am hoping God places it in your heart to read this e-mail - I need a date!!!\" and he read it - I got a call with a date four days after. I feel confident and I know that I made the right decision. The staff is great, Jane, his nurse manager was great - she had R&Y a couple years ago and looks great and she used to work as an OR nurse where I work which is part of Yale too.
- Artist/Muralist - I paint the most beautiful stills and christian art in acrylics on canvas
- Basketry - I love making beautiful dolls and gift baskets that are unique
- Hispanic/Latino - I was born in Panama, Republic of Panama came to US at age 24.
SO I did a moving GIF of myself ... it is sooooo... on July 31, 2008 7:18 am
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Shows my progress ... there is nothing like my old fat self kicking my new self to stay in gear ... I am not letting go of my big girl - I say it over and over again - her deliverance is my release - my release is her deliverance ... when I don't want to get up and move to maintain - that image kicks me right into gear ... and yesterday after I had a mini box of raisins (and no did not dump this time thank goodness) and loved it so much and was reaching for another mini box here she goes - kicking me right into gear - saying get a grip sista - you don't need all that sugar and I left it alone ... yup I love that fat girl me in my mind walking right beside me on the journey for life .... so here is my GIF
A TROPICAL EXPERIENCE.... on July 31, 2008 4:55 am
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...must be ... I came in to work looking like these with the printed pants and the work .. heck I did not even put large prints on even in Panama - what's up with the big prints Martita - I am looking like a walking palm tree???? so I came in looking like a tropical tree ... and getting compliments too (lol) ... how silly can I get???? if it is eccentric hand it to me - I'll wear it (lol) - at the end of the day I was feeling like a palm tree - time to take it off and pass it on (lol)...
The Purina Diet????? on July 30, 2008 6:38 am
...my daughter makes it a daily ritual to forward a joke or two my way everyday .. she sends me animal jokes now because we are in the market for a yorkie terrier to replace the one that was stolen from me a few years back - I had to really prepare myself to have a furry baby again - I had really bonded with my dog and I cried long and hard when he was gone - it really broke my heart - I never thought I would get so attached to an animal but to me he was a little person - we bonded and understood each other - oh well, a new one is coming soon and is hopefully baking at the breeders right now - I want a teacup just like I had before (lol). Anyway she forwarded this joke and I found ti real funny (lol) - no offense to anyone intended...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog Riley
and was about to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. I
told her that the last time I was on it I'd ended up in the hospital
after having lost 50 pounds. I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled
with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!
Now WALMART won't let me shop there anymore.
I thought that was funny (lol)
My yesterday and my today ... I am livin' it and lovin' it - and struggling to maintain - I thought I was on top of this - enough already I do not want to lose any more!!!! and it is all my fault running myself down. So now I look totally deformed with a tiny waist and a large rear end - I will yet try to find a way to get rid of this family trademark - thanks mom (lol). I got no sleep last night. Imagine a grown woman like me staying up all night because despite the exterminators coming out to the house on Monday here goes another one of those huge centipedes in my room - of course by the time Al got up it was gone - so I slept with one eye open and all the lights on and now I am sooooooooo exhausted ... those insects upset me so bad I swear if one of them ever touches me I'll go into cardiac arrest .... Okay this was another one of silly posts don't mind me ... and I am preaching to myself 'Don't worry, be happy' like the song said.... Thank you my wonderful OH family for your support and encouragement!!!
and I no longer have an inverted V caused by friction in the past (lol) - you know where my legs rubbed so bad the material would have a hole in it and my skin would be raw and chaffed(sp?) ... I keep thinking in Spanish and writing in English - I have to stop that too. Okay enough of me --- break is over (lol)...
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Chased by a centipede into the arms of the... on July 27, 2008 4:41 am
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..you gotta be kiddin' me ... what is this long brown creature with a billion and a half feet running towards me on the floor of my own bedroom .... eeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ... I hit it with my slipper, nothing, hit it again nothing, ..AAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP .... what's wrong? what's wrong? and I hear my son telling him 'mom probably saw a spider - you know her and those' - and me "AL HURRY UP GET IN HERE QUICK!!!!" ...
he comes in and after a couple tries with his hard shoe he gets the undying insect that by now was half way up the wall ... what on earth is that??? .. he tells me it is a centipede - pretty big one for in the house .... it does not make me comfortable - I have an issue with spiders and other things that crawl - I really do ... does not say much about someone like me who grew up in the tropics up until the age of 25 where the insects are supersized ... but I have been away from home long enough and America is my home ... so get a grip Martita ... but even so I was uncomfortable - that compounded with the fact that I kept on doing what I was doing when here comes another one - smaller than the first one -- this one must have been blind because he was coming non-stop straight towards ME in my bedroom nontheless ... OMG I SCREAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEDDDDD .... Al comes running but this one got away .... so I said to him CALL AN EXTERMINATOR NOW PAY THE WEEKEND RATE, DOUBLE RATE or ANY RATE but I cannot stay in here with these crawling animals in my territory - he says "they are not ANIMALS they are INSECTS" and I say when they are that big makes no difference to me ... I got dressed real quick shaking my clothes over and over again ... I was even afraid to reach into the basket with my hairbrushes ... I dragged on my support hoses, some shorts and a shirt and sandals, picked up my swimbag and said 'I'm outa' here, I am either at the pool or down at the beach' - mind you I have never gone to the beach in a swimsuit since age 25 and now I am 50 (go figure) and I had the brown and checkered one that I took a snap in a few days ago on my way to the pool in my bag ... I decided to brave it to the beach by myself and get my very first experience post WLS in a swimsuit on the beach ... of course my active or overactive imagination figured I could hold in my jiggles, dimples and wrinkles on my legs with my nice expensive skin tone support hose ... hey I wore them with my shorts and until I told them (my daughter and son) I had my support hoses on they did not notice it .. so I figure hmmmmmm great discovery ... I am going on the beach with these on and I am going to swim in the ocean ... so away I go with my discovery .... I left home looking like this...up to have my very first experience .. in public and at sea .. who was to tell that I would land in the arms of Adonis??? or Apollo??? the handsome lifeguard??? read on....
that is me in the swimsuit that I wore pic taken a few days ago... I did not have support hoses on then look how horrible my legs are ... but I take it after all I lost 180 lbs...
..so I drove up to Hammonasset Beach ... I figure I won't drive the block and a half or so over to the West Haven beach right in my neighborhood .. just in case my first experience is a flop and I make an arse of myself ... swimsuit in the beach with support hoses - yeah right - only me ... so away I go ... get to the beach ... done my swimming gear ... it was sooooo hot the water was beckoning and so welcome... I get out there far enough within the limits to swim a few laps ... I am an avid swimmer ... represented my school and got several medals in intercaribbean matches and interschool matches during high school and college ... and after the years that I was trapped by my morbid obesity that did not allow me the courage to don a swimsuit or a sweat suit and participate in an exercise that I could have still done then ... I rediscovered that I just love love love love to swim so I swim laps at a Fitness Pool several times a week - so swimming was not the problem..... OH PEACE, OH WONDERFUL. OH THE LOVELY FEEL OF THE COOL WATER ON MY SKIN, I could swim for hours ... mmmmmmmm... I am enjoying this until "OMG, WHAT IS PULLING ON MY FEET??????????? OMG - SOMETHING IS TUGGING AT MY FEET IN THE WATER - I TURN AND SWIM RIGHT BACK TO SHORE -- HEAVINESS AND PULLING AT MY FEET ---- I AM WALKING IN THE WATER NOW AND SOMETHING IS TANGLING ITSELF AROUND MY FEET - OMG I KNOW ABOUT WATER SNAKES IN THE RIVERS BUT ARE THERE OUT HERE IN THE OCEAN TOO???? SOMETHING GOT ME BY THE FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM HOP, JUMP, SKIP, RUN AS BEST AS I CAN TOWARDS THE BEACH ... RUN MARTITA, RUN - I AM RUNNING A HALF TUMBLE A RUN - IT IS NOT FAR AT ALL - JUST A FEW FEET THAT I NEED TO GET TO BUT IT IS TAKING FOREVER - I HAVE A BURDEN AT MY FEET AND I AM BEING HINDERED - WHAT IS GOING ON WITH MY FEET - ALGAE? WHAT??? I AM TANGLED UP.... I GET ON THE BEACH AND ON THE SAND --- I SWEAR I DID NOT SCREAM - I MADE NO NOISE ... THE MINUTE I HIT THE SAND I WAS TANGLED SOOOOO BAD I FELL FLAT ON MY FACE -WHOOOOMP- DOWN I WENT WITH ALL I HAD - THE LITTLE BIT OF TITTIES I HAVE LEFT MUST HAVE INVERTED INTO MY CHEST WALL -- I AM STRUGGLING TO TURN OVER AND YANK THE OFFENSIVE CREATURE FROM THE OCEAN THAT IS TANGLING MY FEET ... WHEN I FEEL STRONG ARMS AROUND ME ... HELPING TURN ME AROUND .. I KNOW I AM LOOKING LIKE A ROYAL MESS ... I TURN AND LOOK INTO THE MOST GORGEOUS BLUE EYES AND WATER WASHED BLOND HAIR OF THIS MUSCULAR YOUNG CREATURE TRYING TO HELP THIS OLD FART --- I MUST HAVE DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN --- OR WAS IT THE STARS --- 'who is this Adonis or Apollo - what the heck is the name of that handsome greek god???" then I LOOK AT MY FEET - OH MY GOODNESS --- THE SUPPORT HOSES FROM HELL --- WHAT MATERIAL ARE THESE THINGS MADE OF???? WHATEVER THEIR REACTION WITH THE SALT WATER THEY HAD SUPERSIZED AND SUPER EXTENDED THEMSELVES ... WRAPPED AROUND MY FEET AND ANKLES AND YET YARDAGE OF THEM STILL ON THE SAND ... NOW THESE ARE A SIZE A AND NOW THEY LOOK LIKE A SIZE Z AND SUPER LONG .... TRAILING ACROSS THE SAND THE PATH I HAD COME ... THE LONG NOW STOCKINGS STRETCH OFF MY FEET AND HELD TO THE TOP BY MY SWIMSUIT ... and this muscular piece of young humanity asking me "mam' are you okay?" and I say "yes son, I must've left my stockings on" knowing fully well I did it knowingly because I am soooooooooooooo vain I did not want to parade my wrinkled up old arse on the beach ... so much for my first experience ... I almost drowned myself in a tangle of nylon ... I TELL YOU GUYS MY IMAGINATION POST WSL IS GOING TO BE MY EARLY DEMISE .... so I licked my wounds ... made myself a complete fool ... thank goodness it was in Hammonasset and not West Haven ... and I paraded myself back home ... to torment myself all night long whether a centipede will enter my room or not ... kept all the lights on all night long ... because the exterminators won't come until Monday ... and the only ones I am telling I landed into the arms of a hot hunk of a lifeguard on the beach for now are my OH buddies ... until I can swallow my pride and tell AL and my kids who are not going to let me live it down and would tease the living crap out of me for days to come... so that was my Saturday .... I am going to get dressed now and start my Sunday ... again thank you for allowing me to share yet another one of my silly posts ... got to love it ... a couple months ago I almost had a major coronary running away from what I thought was a bear that turned out to be an old dog ... I almost crippled myself wrapping duct tape around the top of my feet to wear these superhigh shoes that I liked ... my feet swole and by the end of the day had to be pried off my feet ... went to the casino the other day and almost got involved in a cat fight I had to wrap my extensions into a tight knot and brace to defend myself but won a jackpot instead and now this ... RUNNING FROM CENTIPEDES INTO THE ARMS OF A HANDSOME LIFEGUARD ... look at all the stuff I was missing out on locked up in the confines of my mind and in my morbidly obese body of the past ... but come to think of it - I have always been clumsy and always have been coming up with these fabulous ideas that become whoppers sometimes ... but I am 'livin it and 'lovin it .... HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY MY BEAUTIFUL OH FAMILY!!!
Can this be called WOWWWWWW - he called me up... on July 24, 2008 3:46 am
and I was dumb enough to go ... and up on stage too that is ... rocking it like a fool with him and his band - oh no! what I am doing now "rock-old-fart -a-go-go" routine??? My son has been inviting me for eons to come to his band practices and I never went unless they were practicing here in the house using the excuse that I am not into the rock scene which is just an excuse - I love rock and all types of music as long as the lyrics are not offensive and I looooooooooooveeeeeee to dance - don't get me on the dance floor (lol).... Mind you he always invited me to their band "PRACTICE" but never ever ever to one of their shows .... well to my surprise they were playing last night at this gig they got and guess what??? not only he but all his friends asked me to come along ... well this old sista was tired so I declined then here comes the guilt trip "mom, you never come to any of my shows" mind you he has never invited me not even to purchase a ticket (lol) ... and his friends are like "yes mom please come have some fun with us" and I am like yeah right ... these are his same friends that he said called me a MILF which one of our sistas on here explained to me what it meant - but I now they mean no harm so I never said anything ... anyhow they pressured and I gave in ... so I drag on my Armani Exchange shirt that my son had bought for me as a gift a few weeks back and my long jeans skirt ... won't you know my son would say that I did not look acceptable so I went and dragged on a pair of MUDD jeans and asked him if I was punking it out enough (lol) ... so that is what I wore ... and the silly boy would call me up and stage and tell all those people I am his mom ... the band continued all the loud, noisy rock and roll and here he is singing, rocking and dancing with me and I felt soooooooooooo happy rocking it with my baby ... Al was in the audience tickled pink ... and it seems we were the only senile ones in the establishment - the things we do for our kids (lol) ... thank goodness the gig was over by midnight and now I am crosseyed at work .... to make matters worse it israining cats and dogs - the kind of weather that just makes you want to curl up under the sheets and just sleep, sleep, sleep..... so last night I went from not acceptable to punk presentable (lol) like this... that music was soooooooooo LOUD it is still ringing in my ear...
and today I came in to work wearing HOT PINK on a rainy day ... me in HOT PINK????? down to the umbrella (lol) - and this is the silliest post I've written yet!!!
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When I am messed with I am pushed to do... on July 22, 2008 4:19 pm
My beautiful sistas and handsome brothers on the journey .... I have always called myself your sista on the same journey because that is what I consider myself ... when answering posts I reply to my beautiful sistas or my handsome brothers not meaning any harm by it - so if anyone is offended by me referring to you in this manner I apologize sincerely ... I do it in the spirit of love and camaraderie ... I do not see the ugly in people I see the beauty within - the only ugly I see are nasty or hurtful behaviors rearing their ugly heads because hurting people lash out and hurt other people ...words or actions may hurt for a split moment but then right after I rise better yet than before... Someone chose to write/respond to one of my posts and I chose to block the member - you know one of those who do not show their faces ... telling me that you all had names and that I should refer to you by your names as "my beautiful sista" was starting to get worn out or some sort of comment that I chose to ignore until it hit me that I should apologize just in the event that anyone else has been offended by me referring to you in this manner. .. I never thought beautiful sistas were offensive so apologies to all - I have been calling sistas sistas and brothers brothers for sooooooooooooo many years it is just second nature. Hurting people try to hurt others because they do not know any better - my spirit was a bit troubled for a moment and when that happens it pushes me to create beauty and to surround myself with the things I love doing best and the warmth and love of my home, family, friends and surroundings - I am truly blessed ... I thank that person today because I had been sitting around on a few minor details I had to tend to to finish some beautiful dolls that I had a desire in my heart to present to a few of my sistas on here ... please know that no one has asked me for a doll - I took it upon myself to make them and to this date I have not taken a penny from anyone for any of my crafts .. and I have made hundreds of these dolls and given them away because I want to.. So I made one for my OH sista Darlene, one for Kenzie Artist in Miniature Daughter and one for Dawn Sober's grandbaby .. here are the three dolls in that order to be packaged as soon as I get off this compute and taken to the post office tomorrow finally...ALL DONE!!!
Here is a close up of Kenzie - a doll for Artist in Miniature Daughter who I finished like this - glasses and all
and I finished Dawn Sober's grandbaby's baby doll and she looks like this...
and of course the doll maker who has the most fun making the dolls - gotta finish up two others (lol)
so my dear brothers and sistas on the journey .... I am not down ... I am uplifted to rise above and beyond ... I hold no grudges and I mean no harm and to the sista who took offense I apologize madam, I know we all have names but they are not always visible when I respond to a post and by the time I click the reply key this old forgetful sista cannot remember the name or just finds it in her heart to say .. my beautiful sista ... give a sista a break will ya?? (lol) ... Love you my fabulous OH family ... I think its time to give you guys some space for a moment ...I really do not want anyone else getting offended or perturbed by my posts - I thought we were at liberty to block or pass on the posts we do not want to read????
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Maintaining at last - and this sweaty neck has to... on July 21, 2008 3:32 pm
So I am maintaining - YAY - a few lbs. under my normal BMI but I am cool with it ... I am maintaining and that is what matters ... I am healthy, I am fit and I am maintaining .... so I woke up this morning and breakfast on my plate was this...
Two slices of bacon and a tablespoon of scrambled eggs...
and lunch was grilled shrimp with broccoli
and for dinner our house famous panaghetti (lol) my son named my whole wheat spaghetti with meat sauce consistent of fresh tomatoes, black beans, onions, ground turkey, ground chicken, ground beef, ff ricotta, ff mozarella and parmessan cheese ... mixed together and to die for
for dessert - blueberries sprinkled with splenda - YUMMY - my FAVORITE
IT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT I PULLED THOSE EXTENSIONS OUT MAKING MY NECK SWEATY AND I AM WEARING MY OWN SHORT DO ... AND GUESS WHAT I WENT TO THE POOL IN MY SKIN FORGET THE LONG BODY LENGTH SPANDEX UNDER MY SWIMSUIT - YUP CORRUGATED DENTED UP AND WRINKLED UP SKIN IN THE POOL - SWIMMING POWERFUL FREE STYLE LAPS - YUP KATHY I MOVED TO MAINTAIN IN THE POOL TODAY ... AND FEELING GOOD (LOL) and guess who was pointing and laughing and having fun at my expense but one of our own ...
I am soooooooo enjoying my summer ... on Saturday went fresh water fishing with the boys (hubby and son) and yup wore ma tight pants and ma heels (lol) and I did not tip the boat over (lol)
...and on Sunday I went praising.....
and although I just came back from the pool where the only one laughing at me was a big super heavyset sista who I wanted to tell 'don't laugh sista ... I walked in your shoes just a few months ago' but I kept my cool - it did not affect me because I am B.A.D. (blessed and delivered) and sooooooooo B.A.D. (beautiful and determined).... so what I am wrinkled ... they are my scars of my victory battle for LIFE... so I am maintaining at last ... I have to be careful to balance my output with my input because I am super hyperactive these days - soooooooo happy with health and mobility I am catching up with all the moments I missed out on in the past ... me fishing - WHO ME????????? lol
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I LOoovvveee SATURDAYS - nobody was afraid I'd tip... on July 19, 2008 12:53 pm
...and Sundays, and Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Thursdays and Fridays and Saturdays again ..... wow .... who would think --- I was missing out on sooooooooooooo much - health and mobility the best things that could happen to me .... imagine me ... went fishing at 3:00 am this morning and yup went down with the boys (hubby and son) looking good - their old cheerleader (lol) although I did catch a fish or two but they had to put the bait on my pole because I was not touching those squirmy things ... and I was not grabbing any flapping fish - once they bit - I screamed - I GOT ONE, I GOT ONE, COME QUICK I GOT ONE (lol)... we had soooooooooooooo much fun ... now Al is out back firing up the grill both he and Kenny are cleaning fish - we will be having some fresh water fish with salad on the grill YUMMY the boys are in charge .... while my daughter and I are acting like two divas when the truth is that this sista is soooooooooooooo tired ... I am hopping in the tub and relaxing the rest of the day ... going to finish up a doll or two and rest my mules .... I can't believe 17 months ago I was struggling to make it up a flight of stairs - my daughter fell and I could not even make it upstairs to help her had to call the fire department and drag myself up there on my belly .... I could not live without Arthrotec for knee joint pain and I believe the entire neighborhood could hear me wheezing and breathing with every step needless the mention the horrible snoring and the grotesque Cpap machine ... no more joint pains, no more diabetes, no more hypertension, no more hypercholesterolemia, no more sleep apnea, no more asthma, and joint disease in the knees resolved with phenomenal weight loss ... I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MY HEALTH AND MOBILITY and I am living my life as its golden.........yeah I am an old fart but I wallowed in my own self destruction for 25 years and I am out of my shell --- enjoying life, nature, my family and all the wonderful people in and around my life including you my beautiful OH family .... so far this 17th month post surgery I wore a bathing suit, I cut up a sweatshirt and my old size 22 pants and made a couple dresses ... I rocked the sales at my favorite store in the whole wide world ... I hit a jackpot ... and yesterday I even dared to flex my muscles like another sista here "Artist in Miniature" and post a pic of it --- I tell you my picture journal and my cameras are invaluable tools on my journey ... a daily snap if possible in the same spot ... a perfect visual of my journey for LIFE ... it keeps me encouraged ... I advocate not only for others but for myself and that being said every once in a while I can give myself a mental pat on the back and say YOU GO GIRL - WORK IT AND IT WILL WORK FOR YOU .... and that is just what I am doing --- I am in for life with all the ups and downs and the whatevers ... we are our best advocates ... we owe it to ourselves first for LIFE, HEALTH AND MOBILITY ... AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS A BONUS ... so what if I am fifty and I am showing off my scarred and wrinkled up jelly belly - it is mine and my scars and wrinkles are the proud marks of my battle for life ... the best and hardest battle I have ever fought and will fight for the rest of my life just like you ... so here is this ex fat chic on a steamy hot Saturday .....
and just yesterday I was arm wrestling with my son and WON
and I went in the bathroom in a co-ed area at work to snap a pic of my power arm (lol) hey I worked hard for those guns don't laugh ... and forgot to lock the door and felt like a total donkey when one of the young docs walked in and here I am flexing and trying to snap a pic in the mirror ... he thought it was funny and asked to touch my bump (lol) and I let him - my arm bump that is (lol) ... will be making sure doors are locked next time (lol) and the pic did not even come out all that great but hey - I got biceps too!!! (lol) wish I had them when the ex was kicking my butt - but then hmmmmmmmm let me not go there (lol)
and it all started out like this 17 MONTHS AGO WHEN I HAD WLS ON 2/5/07 I am going to have that date tattooed on my derriere (lol) with a tiny butterfly beside it!
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I got biceps too!!! on July 18, 2008 2:06 pm
Okay Ms. ArtistinMiniature - after you posted your fabulous biceps I ran to the bathroom on my job to take a pic of mine too since I never had before and I certainly worked for them (lol) forgot to lock the bathroom door and here this doc opens the door and here I am flexing and trying to snap at the same time - I bet he know thinks that along with everything else I lost the last sane screw that I had up there (lol) but he thought it was funny and asked me to touch my bump - on my arm that is (lol) and I let him (lol) ... so I took one pic - could not see my bump all that great then I just snapped these while running out to Bikram (hot yoga) and posting quickly ... my son always wants to arm wrestle me and so does Al and my daughter and I beat them each and every time - big and tiny - don't mess with this fat lady (lol) ... mine are not as good as yours but hey check 'em out ... every 50 year old bit of them (lol)....
Before heading off to hot yoga (geez it is hot already (lol))
arm wrestling my son - I win each time (lol)
and the first one I took in the bathroom at work ... oops forgot to lock the door ... we only have one bathroom in this particular area which is co-ed -- I felt like such a donkey when the doc opened the door (lol) young kid thank goodness ...
and off I go to sizzle my brains in a 105 degrees hot room .... now you all know that this is one crazy sista .. but a happy one (lol) in spite of ...
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With a $25 VIP card I still came home with... on July 18, 2008 4:36 am
....I am the biggest baby in that playpen ... and I love it! always have! the owners have seen me shop in there for years from a size 4X all the way down to my junior's in Size 0 ... from my Fendi and Doonie and Luis original pocketbooks (sorry no knockouts here) all the way to my Armani Blazer and I catch all the sales ... at this wonderful boutique in Orange, CT where the elite bring stuff they want to consign (good stuff I may say) and I the frugal one with a taste for what's best (lol) take my pennies and shop ... think I am kiddin? try CONSIGNMENT ORIGINALS IN ORANGE, CT ... where designer's originals in mint
condition only are consigned
and when I buy I make sure the original tags are on mine and that they are unused (lol) or barely used if that--- oh, I love that store while my daughter hates it - she rather spend all the money in the world going elsewhere for the same stuff. I picked up a bottle of my favorite Miracles by Lancome perfurme - someone consigned it because they got it as a gift that they did not want - it was on sale for $10 - when I buy my Lancome in the Mall I pay $70 - think I'll pass that one up???? Anytime you shop there you get a VIP card which according to how much you spend they punch your card .. when your card is filled you get a free $25 or a large percentage off and then the card is placed in a $100 cash giveaway drawing which I have been awarded a couple times ... So I had a $25 VIP card last night --- went in there to get some duds for this new kid who came to church and told me she needed some clothes so here I go --- I got her four nice outfits and ran into the biggest summer shoe blowout right in there and guess what ... I bought four pairs of shoes for me and when I paid I STILL HAD CHANGE!!!! check my goodies out....have no idea what to wear red and white polkadot sandals with any ideas sistas? except a black dress that is??? I am just loving it - I have an excellent job and a good income - why blow it on these ever changing sizes when I can buy the best for less and even make myself new clothes out of my few pieces of old duds I kept back not to forget from whence I came??? (lol) this weekend and I am cleaning closet and giving away all sizes 4 through 2 tons of stuff I did not even get a chance to wear (lol) but loving it anyway....I paid less for the best and I can share with my sistas helping sistas out!!!!
and my little dress I got on their sidewalk rack last week and I love it ... wore it to work today and threw a white blazer over it (lol)
I plan on having a glorious day today and every day in spite of ... I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY... I just had my breakfast I brought in with me and I loved it ... a half of a toasted british whole wheat muffin topped with FF Mozzarella Cheese and 1.5 oz Lox and a slice of red onion - mmmmmmmmm to die for .. brought back memories of my Jewish friend I had a mega crush on eons ago who introduced me to onion bagels with lox and sour cream and cream cheese and onions - so I tweaked it to my WLS version and I loved it!!! I am still twidling my toes (lol) waiting for half and hour and will sip my own made Decaf Cinnamon Coffee with FF half and half and splenda ... after work I go for a 90 minutes BIKRAM (hot yoga) workout and at 7:30 tonight I will be at church at our FRIDAY NIGHT LIFE SERVICE where we sing and dance and praise the Lord and boy I loooooooooove to praise in a dance and a shout - I call it my spiritual aerobics ... don't get me started the whole church sets on fire and before we know it we are dancing and praising for all the wonderful things and even the not so wonderful ones but we made it to see another Friday ... and before I leave my friend email me this and I just loved it so much I share with you...
George Carlin on age. (Absolutely Brilliant)
IF YOU DON'T READ THIS TO THE VERY END, YOU HAVE LOST A DAY IN YOUR LIFE. AND WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED, DO AS I AM DOING AND SEND IT ON.
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?''I'm four and a half! 'You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a Ceremony .YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21,TURN 30,PUSH 40,REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1..Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and lo ud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people- who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
THANK YOU MY BEAUTIFUL OH FAMILY ... FOR READING MY SILLY RAMBLINGS ... I LOVE YOU ALL ... TODAY IS OUR BEST DAY!!!!!! SAY IT AND BELIEVE IT - WE ARE ALIVE - WE ARE BREATHING - SOMEONE LESS FORTUNATE DID NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT ---- HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE AND TODAY IT IS MY CHOICE TO BE HAPPY!!!!
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YES I MADE THEM - FULLY RECYCLED - THE... on July 15, 2008 5:00 pm
---THE BACK AND THE HEM IS STILL BASTED UP AND NOT FINISHED ... BUT GUESS WHAT - THANKS TO EGGFACE'S IDEA OF MAKING A POCKETBOOK OUT OF HER OLD DUDS I DECIDED MY OLD SIZE 22 PANTS CAME IN HANDY - I SAVED A COUPLE PAIRS IN EACH SIZE 32, 28, 26, 24 AND 22 TO EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE GLIMPSE AT THEM AND STAY FOCUSSED ... WELL I GOT ANTSY AND CREATIVE LAST NIGHT AND DECIDED WHY NOT??? I CUT UP MY SIZE 22 OLD BLACK PANTS AND MADE ME A DRESS - SURE DID - IT IS NOT FINISHED YET BUT ALLLLLLLMOOOOSSSSTTTT!!! CHECK IT OUT BELOW - THE HEM IS JUST BASTED - I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM GOING TO WEAR IT TO BUT I AM LOVING MY SEWING MACHINE THESE DAYS ... IT EVEN GOT BETTER ... I TOOK MY OLD SIZE 4X GREY SWEATSHIRT AND CUT IT UP AND STITCHED IT UP INTO THIS FROCK CHECK IT OUT ... I SAW SIMILAR STYLES IN BOOKS AND ON TV AND MADE UP MY OWN .... WOOO HOOO .... I SEWED FOR EVERYBODY BEFORE NEVER EVER WANTING TO SEW FOR ME AND NOW ME AND MY SEWING MACHINES ARE VERY BEST FRIENDS .... CHECK THE PHAT LADY OUT (LOL) MY DUDS ARE NOT DONE BUT THEY ARE SURE COMING ALONG .... I JUST HOPE I DON'T TAKE MY ARTSY FARTSY SELF AND START SOMETHING ELSE, ANOTHER PROJECT AND LEAVE THEM UNFINISHED IN A CORNER UNTIL ANOTHER DAY (LOL) .... I HAVE SUCH A BURST OF ENERGY AND CREATIVITY THESE DAYS I CANNOT STAND MYSELF AND YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY JUST ARE SICK AND TIRED HEARING ABOUT ME ... BUT IT IS TOOOOOOOOOOOOO BIG AND IT MAKES MY HEART SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY I JUST HAVE TO SHARE - I JUST WANT TO PINCH MYSELF .... BECAUSE I SPENT MANY MANY YEARS CRYING BEHIND THINGS LONG GONE, BEING SAD AND UNHAPPY BEYOND THE SMILE OF MY FACE .... LEFT BEATEN BLEEDING AND ALL BUSTED UP WITH MY TEETH KNOCKED OUT OF MY HEAD AND EVEN LOSS MY THIRD CHILD TWO MONTHS IN MY WOMB BEHIND SOME ABUSIVE MESS IN MY FIRST MARRIAGE - I GAVE MYSELF SO COMPLETELY TO THE FIRST LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT LINGERED WITH ME FOREVER AND FOR YEARS AFTER HE WAS LONG GONE AND I WAS REMARRIED ... SOME MESS THAT HAD TO BE TREATED PROFESSIONALLY ... SPIRITUALLY... INTERNALLY ... I CRIED SOOOOOOO MANY TEARS AND ATE MYSELF INTO OBLIVION NEVER SATISFYING A VACANCY WITHIN EACH TIME I WAS CALLED EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN BY THIS ABUSSIVE MAN .... HE BOOKED AND I WAS TOO HEARTBROKEN TO REACT ... WHEN I REACTED ALL THE STUFF I WORKED SO HARD FOR INCLUDING MY FINANCES WAS GONE ... BUT GUESS WHAT??? TODAY I AM FREE, DELIVERED AND HAVE A TESTIMONY OF SURVIVAL AND OF OVERCOMING ... MY ENERGY IS FUELED BY MY TEARS OF THE PAST ... MY WLS THANKS TO DR. DUFFY AND THE WONDERFUL GROUP AT YALE GI SURGERY GAVE ME MY LIFE BACK AS I ONCE KNEW IT ... I NO LONGER PINE FOR THE PAST BECAUSE ALL ALONG MY WONDERFUL SECOND HUSBAND OF OVER 18 YEARS WAS STANDING AND IS STILL STANDING SOLID AT MY SIDE ... SO IF TOMORROW I SHOULD DIE I ADDED ONE LITTLE WISH TO MY LIVING WILL ... THAT ALL THESE DUMB PICTURES I HAVE COLLECTED IN MY JOURNAL FOLLOWING MY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY MAY BE PLACED IN THE BOX BESIDE ME AND LABELED 'THE RENEWAL AND RECYCLING OF MARTITA - THE HAPPIEST DAYS OF HER LIFE (lol)' - I AM SOOOOOOOOOO CREATIVE I AM SOOOOOOOOO HAPPY AND I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SILLY WRITING ALL THIS STUFF THAT IS BUSTING OUT OF ME JUST THINKING THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE IT WILL GIVE A LITTLE BIT OF HOPE TO SOMEONE ELSE ON THE JOURNEY LIKE ME....I ONCE WAS A SLAVE WITHIN MYSELF AND TODAY I AM FREE - I AM A MONSTER INDEED - A MONSTER OF PRODUCTIVITY, OF ACTIVITY (OOPS GOTTA SLOW DOWN WAS TOLD I AM OVERDOING IT AND I AM), A MONSTER OF LOVE, OF LOVE, OF LOVE AND I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY..... AFTER ALL I ASKED GOD TO PLEASE PLEASE LET ME LIVE I JUST WANTED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE AROUND AND NOT BE SICK AND TO HAVE A BIGGER HEART TO LOVE THE PEOPLE.... OKAY HERE ARE MY HALF FINISHED DUDS....PICS TAKEN BY MY DH IN OUR RAMBLING OLD RUSTIC HOUSE THAT I KEEP LOOKING TOTALLY COUNTRY AND RUSTIC ... THE ARTSY FARTSY HOUSE OF A FORMER FAT CHIC ... AND AN OLD ONE AT THAT (lol) - EXCUSE THE TYPOS I AM HAVING A HARD ENOUGH TIME POSTING THESE DAYS .... DON'T KNOW IF IT IS MY PC OR WHAT?
YUP - I MADE CLOTHES WITH MY OLD DUDS - JUST LIKE I TOOK THE LEMONS OF MY PAST AND I MADE LEMONADE!!!! I had clinical intervention and saw a shrink for years, I spoke to my pastor, I spoke to the preacher, I spoke to my close friends but it was not until I finally decided to let the past go that I was able to LIVE!!! and WLS was the culmination of a job that started soooooooo many moons ago .... thank you for reading my silly banter....
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Keeping hydrated to keep up with my routine.... on July 15, 2008 5:44 am
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I love Bikram so much so that I feel lousy when I do not do at least 3 sessions per week --- well I cut back to 2 sessions per week to try to maintain my weight and not lose any more but I miss it nonetheless my dropped session .... just last week I was freaking out because I had gone down two more lbs but I got them back ... turns out it was all body fluid fluctuation ... apparently I had not hydrated enough prior to my Bikram session and dropped a whole bunch of sweat in the 105 degree rooms while I went through my poses ... lesson learned ... today I weigh just barely a few pounds more than I did at age 25 and I am maintaining at this weight ... being closely monitored by my medical team and myself ... I was tiny before I ballooned up and I am tiny again ... just like my mom and my sisters. I have a clean bill of health and doing everything in my power not to lose another ounce while I do not intend to gain another ounce either ... this is where I WILL STAY! My son is trying to put on some weight - at 6'3" he is at 162 and wants to get up to 180 - the kid eats everything in sight and is as trim as can be - always has (lol) ... okay... this is me at work and my so far this week again...
my son and his friend - he scalped himself said it was too hot (lol) I like him best with hair but oh well - his style (lol)
So I am tiny.... on July 14, 2008 2:34 pm
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Had the nicest conversation with my dad earlier - he is in Panama with my brother and sisters .... he saw my last batch of pics and told me not to worry I look like his little girl again (lol) no matter how old we get we will still be his little girls - this coming from the same man who told me I looked like a whale (lol) .... well I rested my hair for a few days and I am rocking my extensions again - I like them best - and as I love sleveless in the summer they make not so self conscious of my wrinkly batwings.... My son and I just came from the Indian Restaurant. I had yellow curried spicy chilli over their wild indian rice - it was sooooooooooooooo spicy my mustache sweat but it was sooooooooooooooo delicious ... I ate a little over a couple ounces and was stuffed to capacity and I know not to take the extra bite that would have me barfing all over the place.... It is sooooooooo busy at work ... why is it that the powers that be wait until the last minute to demand all this stuff that they needed yesterday??? ... we have been all running around like crazy especially those of us who do not work the floors ... at this rate we all will be losing weight and me I cannot afford it (can you believe ME??? can't afford to lose anymore???? when at the beginning of the journey I wondered will it ever come off???) I guess the hair thing transcends the family - my daughter changed the color of her hair and my son scalped himself it was so hot the other day ... so here is me .. just as tiny as I was 25 years ago - I came full circle - I feel good and I am healthy - freaked out the other day cause I went down two lbs - forgot I took my extensions out - put them back in and I am up a pound (lol) ... my doctors are not concerned so far - we are watching it very closely ... got yelled at for my hyperactivity - trying to tone it down a bit ---but it is soooooooooo hard to stop moving and being energized with all this energy and vitality I have today.... thank you so much for reading my silly banter.... sharing pictures of my week so far and also my son and his friend having fun at a fest ...
I have issues!!! on July 11, 2008 4:11 am
...especially when today I am looking like this...
just when yesterday I looked like this...
and like this
AND I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE MAINTAINING WEIGHT BECAUSE I KEEP LOSING EVEN WHEN I AM NOT TRYING AND I AM EATING PROPERLY AND NUTRITIOUSLY TOO .... YIKES!!!! MY TINY CLOTHES ARE FITTING WAYYYYYYY TO BIG - AND TRUST THEY ARE NOT STRETCH FABRICS EITHER!!!!! The other day my husband asked me if I was missing a few ribs my waistline is so tiny - to top it off I got a call from one of my friends who told me she was calling as a friend to tell me I was not even cute I looked like a "SICK MESS" - I told her "thank you" and kept it moving ... I am not letting anything get me down - I am under strict professional care, eating between - I upped my caloric intake accordingly by my doctor's guidelines and I do eat and I do enjoy my meals, I cut down a bit on my exercise routine but I am still involved in a million other community and church based activities and projects that I do not intend to give up ... so body GET IN LINE!!!! NO MORE LOSING ITS TIME TO MAINTAIN!!!! ... and I am going to make it!!! whether I wear my short hair or rock my extensions - I am already feeling self-conscious looking down at my arms - at least my long extensions were a good camouflage (lol)
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Installing a husband!!! on July 9, 2008 8:27 am
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as:
- Romance 9.5 and
- Personal Attention 6.5,
and then installed undesirable programs such as :
- NBA 5.0,
- NFL 3.0 and
- Golf Clubs 4.1 .
Also Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
- Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
DEAR DESPERATE ,
First, keep in mind,
- Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
- Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
- If that application works as designed , Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
- Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
- Cooking 3.0 and
- Hot Lingerie 7.7.
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My Summer 2008!!! on July 9, 2008 4:26 am
Maintaining and feeling good - lost a total of 180 lbs from my heighest of 285 lbs and have been holding steady weighing 105 lbs for the past couple weeks.... here are some pics of my summer so far...
MY SWIMSUIT EDITION FRONT AND BACK - EXCUSE THE DIMPLY LEGS...
SOMETIMES CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WAS ME JUST A SHORT TIME AGO...
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A JACKPOT FORTROUBLE!!!! on July 5, 2008 12:43 pm
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...where do I start, where do I start, where do I start..... I am known to be a peacemaker - I do not like to be sucked into anyone else's insanity - and I pick my battles strategically - but trouble has a way - it has a way - here I am minding my business and here comes trouble in MY WAY!!! ... it was a little past midnight last night - we had gone to a show at the Casino - the Mohegan Sun to be exact .. my daughter and her friends, my DH, my son and I ... we had fun ... we had a cookout earlier with friends and we drove the 45 minutes drive up to Norwich later in the evening to see the show ... then my daughter had the brilliant idea that we each take $20-30 of our allotted spending money that we each left with in our pockets when we headed up there ... I for one do not like to gamble I do not even buy lottery tickets - I just do not like spending my money on chance but once in a while just for fun we would go up to catch a show and eat at one of the restaurants and we'll play the slots with the small allowances we allow ourselves for that purpose ... to make a long story short my daughter son and friends took off to the quarter slots, my DH stuck his $20 dollar bill in a $1 slot machine and it came back with three red sevens so he won and immediately cashed out his voucher and told me to stay where I was he was going to exchange his voucher for currency and he'd be right back ... okay ... I am still holding on to my $20 - I look at the machine beside the one my husband just played and it said something about the Jacks are Wild - never played that before - so I sit down and I put my $20 in the machine - this woman sitting next to me asks - "are you tribal?" I responded "NO" again she says, "are you sure you are not tribal?" and I say "YES" - now I am wondering what is the major malfunction here - am I supposed to be tribal to play these particular slots? I am looking at the machine and am about to press the button that says 'bet one' before I could here is the woman beside me again " your hair is beautiful" to which I say "thank you" - I am not really in the mood for a conversation but I rather be courteous and affable - now she gets a bit personal "is that all your hair" now I could have gotten fresh and asked "sista whose head is it on and what business is it of yours????" but again I am courteous and I say no, I have extensions - she asks again "you sure you are not tribal" now I am thinking does she have a bad short term memory or WHAT??? I planned to cash out my $20 without making any bets when I feel this rough tap on my shoulder and this aggressive other woman is asking me "WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH MY WOMAN?" - my jaws dropped - this sista was looking just about ready to fight me and I am sitting here feeling my slow to rise Panamanian temper rising and when that happens I become not a Panamanian but a PanaMANIAC! - but I hold myself in check - I say "Pardon me??" I am looking around for Al or security or my kids or anyone I know - bunch of strangers - the place is packed .... I immediately wrapped my hair back in a tight bun and braced myself to go to town on this sista if she ever tried to even raise her hands or fists at me ... at the same time I am praying that no unladylike mess like this happen -- I am no fighter and I wanted no spectacle but I can certainly defend myself and I will --- I guess she saw my jaws tighten and my hair back in the tight roll and decided to stare me down instead at which point I decided to press the cash out button, take my $20 and go find my crew and get out of there ... I was sooooooo ticked I pressed the "MAXIMUM BET" button instead and I am like "oh no why did I do that" - the machine started whistling like crazy and I look at the screen and there are three wild jacks across the screen for a $4000 jackpot --- UNBELIEVABLE --- I am thinking I am about to cash out and leave - press the wrong button and win - just when I was scraping up enouch money to pay for my brachioplasty at the same time when I will be having my abdominoplasty a couple months from now if it all works out --- YAY....
SO TODAY I CELEBRATED MY 17 MONTH SURGIVERGARY AND DECIDED TO POST MY PICS WEIGHING 105 LBS TODAY - MY HIGHEST RECORDED WEIGHT WAS 285 LBS PRIOR TO MY PRESURG DIET - SO I AM DOWN A TOTAL OF 180 LBS --- HAD NOT HAD PLASTICS YET AND SHAMELESSLY EXPOSING MY CORRUGATED BODY IN SWIMSUIT ON THE INTERNET SHOWING PROUDLY MY WRINKLES, DIMPLES, SAGGING, HANGING SKIN - MY VICTORY MARKS FROM MY BATTLE FOR LIFE...
ANOTHER SET .. CAN YOU TELL MY DH PROTOGRAPHER IS LOVING IT ... OKAY I DO NOT MEAN TO GROSS YOU OUT I KNOW I AM TOO OLD FOR THIS BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE ME????? WHO WOULD TELL 17 MONTHS AGO THAT THIS WHALE OF A WOMAN (my dad called me a whale) would be healthy, active and fit today?????
Thank you for reading my silly banter and please excuse the typos...and most of all the dented up, wrinkled up, hanging/sagging skin - it will be fixed in a months time - and no - I have not ventured out the house in a swimsuit yet (got to build up the nerves) - I swim with a full spandex suit when I do laps at the Fitness Pool (lol)....
I LOVE AMERICA, FOR ALL THAT IT STANDS FOR,... on July 4, 2008 4:17 am
......I soooooooooooooooooooo love this country that I have adopted as my own ... for all that it stands for ... for Freedom, Liberty and Justice ... for the brave men and women who risk their lives on a daily basis to keep me and my own safe ... for affording me the freedom and independence to make choices over my own personal life ... for the independence and freedom of being free today after having imprisoned myself in a morbidly obese body for over 25 years .... I, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE AMERICA, that land where my children and my husband were born ... the land I came to 25 years ago from a country in which I lived to see my mom asking my dad's permission to do something as simple as coloring her hair ... I lived to see my dad making decisions over what my mom should or should not wear ... whether she could have a hysterectomy or not - I remembered being sooooooooooo upset my sister and I had to both intervene - here is my mom bleeding to death with all these myomas and fibroids in her uterus and this egoist of my dad saying NOOOO??? get a grip dad your being afraid is one thing but your making a decision over a person's life and death situation is something totally different and you have NO RIGHT - my sister and I both took our mom to have her surgery anyway and he had a royal fit afterwards???? - did not speak to us in seems like ages - too bad so sad --- he did not even allow us to go to our graduation dance - no dating, no dancing, no social activities, home to school and locked up in the house with mom while he is on the town living it up with his querida (other woman) and all --- ohhhhhhh don't get me on this subject - that was years ago and I still let it upset me - but it is things like those and soooooooooo many others that make me sooooooooooooo thankful and sooooooo extremely grateful to live in this wonderful land of freedom and opportunities ... where both men and women and even children have rights and can exercise their rights... OMG I just upset myself on the subject of my dad and I lost focus ... just the thinking about me burns me up ... that is exactly why I knew from an early age I was getting out of there as soon as I could ... picture not even being able to attend your graduation dance ... the man was a trip (lol).....and although my mom allowed this to happen to her I lived to see sooooooooo many of my friends going through the same thing in their homes.... it is soooooooo common for men to have wife and children and then a 'querida' on the side - I for one knew at an early age that I did not want that type of life for me - but growing up like a bird in a cage once I got free it seems I married the first jackarse who said he loved me and look where it landed me ...swept off my feet like an idiot to live through seven years of mental and physical abuse that I compensated for with FOOD. I thank God this day for my current husband of 18 years and my beautiful children who he has raised as his. I am grateful today ... someone posted yesterday about celebrating both our independence on this day ... so today I celebrate the Independence day of this great country of ours and my own independence from the chains of my past morbid obesity affliction... so on this glorious day I could not help but make my comparison collage as tomorrow is my 17 month surgiversary .... I have had absolutely no plastics surgery yet - my insurance requires me to be 18 months out to cover my panni which is pre-approved and will be done late September at which time I will try to pay for my own bachioplasty although all my friends say I don't need it ... yeah right - it hangs and it shakes and I want it off (lol) .... HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!!!!!
my little red dress I found at my favorite store in the whole wide world (lol)
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I forgot to sing my little song, and I paid for it..... on July 3, 2008 3:47 am
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how could I forget my little tune --- the one that plays over in my head when I eat "sista you must chew, chew, chew otherwise you're gonna puke, puke, puke" ..... I fussed and whined all yesterday afternoon ... something got stuck in my pouch... whatever bite it was stuck and clogged it up!!!! nothing going down and nothing coming up ... the feeling was horrible .. it went from distress, to pain to sweats to shortness of breath to almost panic... this miserable feeling of something stuck in my upper chest and or ripping right across it .. burping did not help ... drinking water did not help ... I tried to ride it out and it did not HELP ... I ran to the bathroom several times thinking it would come back up and it did not HELP!!! until I got home after work and the stairs seemed like they were rising up to meet my face -- I had cold sweats -- I ran to the bathroom where relief finally came --- my lunch was in the bowl and so was the object of my distress - a piece of meat the size of a nickle that I did not chew - I thought I had this mastered well obviously I do not - I have to keep that little voice in my head singing chew, chew, chew ... I don't ever want to feel that miserable again ... so I had to check myself ... don't get cocky with this thing Ms. Martita, be vigilant, be watchful and most of all be accountable after all your tool is your car and you are in the driver's seat -- drive on sista! SAFELY PLEASE (lol)... this is me today two days before my 17 month surgiversary ....I AM STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN I AM DOWN A POUND SINCE YESTERDAY AND I AM TRYING NOT TO LOSE ANY MORE ....
I have on this tiny A. Klein outfit I found at my favorite little store in the whole wide world - just to have my daughter tell me this morning it did nothing for me .. so I said to her .. don't fret I will do something for it (lol) and I love it - soooooo comfortable ....
so I came in today strutting around in light blue and flowers - who MEEEEEEE picture this old fart weighing in at 285 lbs just 2 days short of 17 months ago ... I remember back then putting on a strapless and my boobs will spill over the bra or worse yet putting on a belt and my donut would roll all over it the belt would be rolled over twice in the waistband of my pants ... picture size E and F stockings - had to get them at Lane Bryant or the Avenue and now a regular Size A reaches all the way up past my bra (lol) .... sooooooo happy .... and guys I told you a bit yesterday about all my thrifty finds in this little store in Orange, CT .... I am going on Saturday to shop for me and for one of my sisters on the journey ... and I will be the biggest baby in that playpen - I just LOVE IT!!! So this was my week.....
Gifts for givers - I SOLD my hair.... on July 2, 2008 4:00 am
I am sooooooooooooo blessed!!!!
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...to have my health back ... to see my Al striving with his transplanted kidney and doing well and to see my children prosper as well as my family and friends and all the people in my life .... I am blessed in soooooooooooooooooo many ways ... just this morning I opened up my eyes to the miracle of LIFE - I made it through the night!!!!! Thank you God!!!!! I have always been a giver - not in order to boast OR BRAG or even to receive - but because it is my nature, I am a giver at heart ... I remember my mom spanking me for giving away my brand new doll she had made me as well as my brand new bike - I was 6 or 7 years old and remember well - and when she asked why did I give my new stuff away? why did I give away my new things and not the older used ones that I no longer wanted? I would tell her because that girl did not have one and I wanted her to have my best one .... and then she would hug me - after the spanking of course ... did I ever learn a lesson from the spanking??? nooooooooo - not really --- because it makes me sooooooooooooooo happy ----- and guess what???? I am not the only one people all over the world are unconditional givers and I meet them everyday --- because it is their nature -- to give a smile, a kind word, a listening ear - a shoulder to lean on in times of need - just a presence to let one know they are there - supportive silence - or just being there - it costs nothing and it is sooooooooooooo rewarding - it is not limited to material things..... and it is contagious.... and FREELY given... I have been blessed in more ways than ever .... and since my surgery it seems l have been rewarded in sooooooooo many many ways both spiritually and materially ... great material things have even come my way .... promotions on my job, family and friends showering me with gifts and gifts and more gifts ... and me giving my all in return as best I can while keeping it real and paying it forward ... Just this morning I looked at myself and thought - how blessed I am - I have practically worn a new outfit every day since four months out of my surgery --- at no major cost to me nor to my family --- I dress in all designers and all originals that is just me and I love it and when I go to my favorite store in the whole wide world where I get all my clothes I never take more than $40 with me and I get sooooooo many beautiful things with that - can you believe my get up today just cost me $1.50? and the original tags on them were soooooooooo much more than that amount? and that beautiful dress I wore the day before just cost me $5.00?? with an original tag of $79?? well they did - much less than I would pay for the expensive take-outs that I would order for lunch and dinner in the past - all at this wonderful little boutique in Orange, CT where I would go and wallow for hours --- everything is designer's made --- and everything is original --- and when there is a sale - there is a sale - the best secret in town ---- if you live in CT PM me and I will tell you about it - you don't know what you are missing (lol)... what I do not purchase I make myself - I love to sew for me now - not before - before I sewed for friends and even strangers - I love shopping for fabrics online and even go to Joanne's fabrics every once in a while ... but most of all my strong supportive friends and co-workers - the wonderful peers of nurses and doctors I work with are always leaving goodies for me ... I have come in to work many days to bags or boxes or trinkets or even look - a WHOLE BAG OF MAKEUP left this morning at my desk .... the reason?? JUST BECAUSE ... and I love them all ... So I am thankful each and everyday ... for the ability to smile even when there are tears in my heart, for the ability to give unconditionally, for the ability to love without reservations for the ability to be kind, caring and compassionate, for the ability to reach out a helping hand and the capability of not intentionally hurting my fellowman - I AM GRATEFUL... and happy, sooooooooo happy to be able to share ... I have packaged so many of my things and passed them on to friends right here on OH, to friends, to community and to church and I just LOVE IT -- so I come to work today looking like this....of course I wear my most comfortable sandals to work I have a pair in each color ...
and I came to work yesterday looking like this....
and this morning on my desk - a beautiful gift bag with bare essentials, sephora, MAC and Lancome makeup - all my favorites - a gift from my nurse friend Betsy --- just BECAUSE
---- I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO BLESSED INDEED!!!! AND I AM KEEPING IT REAL WITH A PRAYER AND A PRESS I WILL MAKE IT!!!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL READING MY SILLY BANTER....OHHHH AND I FORGOT TO TELL YOU -- I SOLD MY HAIR!! I SOLD MY HAIR!!! LOL I SOLD MY HAIR!!! SURE DID - OUR BUSINESS - A hair brainding and weaving salon owned by my friend Maggie and myself - HAD A BIG DROP IN REVENUE WITH THE ECONOMY AND PEOPLE OPTING FOR THE LESS EXPENSIVE BRAIDS AND WEAVES ... SO I WENT STRUTTING AROUND WITH MY LONG EXTENSIONS AND OVER THE WEEKEND THE SHOP DID WELL OVER 10 HEADS IN LONG STYLES SIMILAR TO MINE (lol) I was a walking billboard for our business and I did not even know it (lol)