To run a marathon!

I am a 34 year old single mom of four children.  I have battled with obesety since I was a child.  I was always teased in school as the fat girl.  I started my first weightloss program at 13 years old.  My mother would get me over the couter diet pills and we would keep a chart of what worked and what did not.  The diets that worked for a short period of time always put the weight back on x2 or gave me an attitude so bad that my mother could not even tolerate me.  I got pregnant at 21 years old and was married shortly after.  I spent the 5 years of my marriage being ridiculed by my husband for being over weight.  His abuse was very hard on me and to deal with it I just put on more weight.  We divorced in 2000 and I again started my diets.  I started taking Metabolife with Ephadra and I found this to be very successful for me.  I droped 50 lbs and became very confident in myself.  But then I also became addicted to the Ephedra, when they took Ephedra off the market the weight quickly returned and not only returned but came back double what it had been before.  I tried many other diets, even the Cabage diet that comes from the hospital, but nothing seemed to work for me.  Exercise worked for short periods of time then I would litterally be short breathed or exahusted from being overweight that I would give up all together.  I have just now started the process for gastic bypass and I am still unsure if I will be a canidate for the surgery.  I don't want to be a super model, or look good in a bikini, I simply want to be able to enjoy my life.  I want to be able to go to the park with my kids and do more than just sit on the bench and watch.  I grew up in a family that battled obesity, the women in my family died young due to medical conditions brought on my being overweight.  I found my mother in 2001 dead at the age 48 from a heart condition brought on by obesity.  I don't want my children to suffer such a loss, I want to be able to grow old and see my children's children's children.  I know that in order to change my life span I need to start with changing my health issues, obesity is where it all lays.  I was introduced to this site in hopes that I could get the support that I have been unable to get from friends and family.