I'm so sad it's monday and the weekend is over!   We had so much fun this weekend!

Friday we went to the drive-in and saw Dark Knight, and Step brothers...   Saturday, I went and treated myself and got my nails done, they look awesome!   Then we walked down the street and checked out this little street fair going on for a bit...

Then Matt met us here, and we headed over towards Bethlehem for Musikfest!   I was absolutely DREADING walking up and down that god-awful hill...   if you've ever been there, you know what I'm talking about.   It's so incredibly steep...   We walked around, checked out the vendors, music, and of course the beer!!!   It was a great time.  And I walked  up that massive hill without even thinking twice about it until I got to the top, and realized I wasn't gasping for breath...  Last year it was almost the death of me!   What a feeling...  Even being around all those food vendors, and the different smells of the festival...  It didn't even phase me!!!  Anyway, then after Musikfest, we went to this sushi place in Bethlehem.  It's as close to "our" place as we could get :)  It's called Tokyo Do, and they have the BEST sushi!   It was great.

Yesterday we actually slept in  bit!  What a treat lol...   then we got ourselves ready for our engagement pics.   It started pouring, and thundering and lightening right before Sharyn got here, but slowed up just enough that I think the pictures we did take will be gorgeous.  I can't wait to see them!!!      Plus, Norm bought me this ring..just because.....   and my goodness, it's soooooo pretty..    it's white gold, with a big amethyst cut into a heart, and diamonds on either side...   it's just breathtaking <3

That's the report for the weekend.   We really had a great time!

 Vacation...   to sum it all up...   it was AMAZING!   Norm and I, and my entire family had such a great time down the shore.   Lots of beach/ocean/tanning time...   lots of boardwalk/ride fun!   It was just overall a great great GREAT vacation.  

I did something I never ever thought I would ever be able to do.   I rode this thing called the sky coaster.    The only way I can figure to describe it..   is they strap you and a partner into a harness...  then hook you up to a bungee cord, and have you lay flat looking down.  (Kind of like superman like position)    Then, the bungee cord pulls you back, and up ridiculously high so you're about 4 stories off the ground, staring down at the boardwalk, and all the people looking up at you.   The people running the ride count down from 3....2.....1 and you pull a rip cord to release yourself.   Then you swing back and forth over the ocean, and boardwalk...   ugh.   I felt totally and 100% weightless.    It was horrifying, and breathtaking all at the same time.   I have the video and pictures I'll put up soon after this post.

(EDIT)   Here's the link to the video...  just copy and paste into your browser :)     Enjoy!   http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v239/hellspassion/?action=view¤t=M2U01464.flv




Other good news...   while we were ont he beach one day,my mom's phone rang.   My mom had written to a long time friend of hers who just so happenst o be a plastic surgeon.  She explained my story... and how my insurance won'tcover any of my plastics...  and basically asking him to help me before the wedding.  Well..  to my amazement, I have anapointment onSeptember 5th withDr. Skalicky....    We're not sure how all this is going to pan out..   but we're keeping our fingers crossed.  I really need my arms,and chest done.   Oh lordy would it be amazing not to haveto wear a dress with sleeves!!!    and boobs to hold it up! woot woot!!!

Also, on the samed ay september 5th, I have my follow up appointment with Dr.Marymor.   I haven't seen him since about 6 months out I believe?   Somewherea round there.  I'm really looking forward to being able to tell him how much he's helped mec hange my life!!!

Norm and I arealso potentially going to be in a magazine for how much weight we've lost, and telling our story...    :)   Life's really great right now!!!

Ps- for as worried as I was about gaining weight at the shore onvacation...   I lost 9 lbs!!!

Insane, I thinkso!!!!

Acceptance….

 

 

I’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking over these past few months after my 1 yr. surgiversary. I’ve come to some conclusions.. and revelations! It’s been anything but easy, and everyday I’m trying to really grow into myself.

 

1. I had a very hard time accepting things that can NOT be changed. I’m resisting what "is" based on what "was". I find myself dwelling on the little things about my body that I absolutely HATE. Not appreciating life, and enjoying the things that I love. I can’t change the fact that over a year, I lost so much weight that my skin hasn’t had a chance to snap back to where it’s supposed to be. It may not ever. I need to accept it, embrace it, appreciate it, and MOVE ON.

 

 

2. I’m not who I think I am. I’m not the girl who couldn’t walk up a flight of steps… I’ve worked my ass off, and achieved major successes, with many more to come. When I was pre-op, I found a few people on OH who I absolutely idolized. I wanted to be just like them. I thought they were perfect. Looking back… they prob. Were having the same problems with themselves that I am now. But from the outside, no one even sees the faults I see in myself. We have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this "image" of who we think we are. That image stays the same in our minds no matter what we look like in the mirror. I need to really listen to the compliments I’m receiving… and see myself as others do. I don’t need to put stock in what I THINK others think about me, or will think, and focus on the constant… which is my own opinion.

 

3. I can’t waste my time wishing I was someone else, or looked like someone "thinner" than me. Cause honestly, it’s not going to happen. I am who I am. I’ll never look like them, and nor should I want to. Then I wouldn’t be a unique human being. Our uniqueness is our strength. We’re not like thin people. We’re better. Here’s why: We’ve seen both sides of the spectrum. We know what it’s like to be heavy.. we’re learning what it’s like to be thinner. How many people can say something like that? We’ll always have that soft spot, and consideration for heavier people. It’s something I never want to lose. You can certainly find inspiration in others, but why should we desire to be just like them? There’s only one me in this world… don’t we owe it to ourselves to be the best person we can be? We grow up thinking different isn’t good, but in reality, our differences make us who we are. It seems the thinner you get the more judgmental of your body you become. Even with my flabby arms, and thighs, I’m different in an absolutely amazing way. I need to cherish it. The moment you start accepting yourself and be at peace with it, that’s the moment where life starts to truly work for you.

4.Again, I’ve worked so hard to get myself where I am now… and instead of enjoying and loving life, I obsess over the little tiny faults. How crazy is that? I’m never going to be perfect, and nor do I want to be. The moment I become "perfect" in my own eyes, means there’s nothing left to improve… I have nothing to take from any other person in the world. I never want that for myself. I want to constantly improve myself.. A little over a year ago, I didn’t know if I was going to live much longer. Now… I’m getting married to my best friend in the entire world.. I know we’re both going to be alive for a very long time, and we’re going to have a family.

 

Who could ask for more?

 Ugh...   It's certainly one of those days...   better yet, one of those weekends.   No matter what I eat, it's like I'm STILL hungry.   Now, this usually happens before "that time of the month" but my god....

 

I ate so much yesterday, and although I know it's all good things I'm eating, I'm still over-eating.  

 

On top of it all, I feel absolutely HUGE.   I'm bloated, my jeans are tight...   I'm cranky....

 

I'm just a ray of sunshine this weekend.

 

The scale will most certainly hate me tomorrow.   Which in turn,will make me hate the scale.

So my mom and I went out this past weekend, and tried on wedding dresses. We were mostly just browsing... once I got started, I just couldn't stop! The dresses all fit, and even the ones that were hideous, fit amazingly! We were just about to pack it up, and get ready to leave when my consultant Jodi brought one more dress over. I slipped it on, and stepped out of the dressing room. It was almost like everyone in the store just stopped, and stared at me. I saw my mom's eyes tear up, and I knew even before looking in the mirror, that this was "the one". It's absolutely beautiful. Fits perfectly EVERYWHERE. and with every other dress I was able to see small flaws in myself while wearing them... this one was perfect in every single way. I told Jodi Norm and my story... how we both had surgery ect... and she called the other consultants over to hear. They said it was something you hear on Oprah lol. They all just couldn't believe it. Needless to say, I bought my wedding dress, and I can't wait for Norm to see me in it. Side note: I have 11 months to tone up these saggy arms. Eek!