Acceptance….

I’ve been doing a whole lot of thinking over these past few months after my 1 yr. surgiversary. I’ve come to some conclusions.. and revelations! It’s been anything but easy, and everyday I’m trying to really grow into myself.

 

1. I had a very hard time accepting things that can NOT be changed. I’m resisting what "is" based on what "was". I find myself dwelling on the little things about my body that I absolutely HATE. Not appreciating life, and enjoying the things that I love. I can’t change the fact that over a year, I lost so much weight that my skin hasn’t had a chance to snap back to where it’s supposed to be. It may not ever. I need to accept it, embrace it, appreciate it, and MOVE ON.

 

 

2. I’m not who I think I am. I’m not the girl who couldn’t walk up a flight of steps… I’ve worked my ass off, and achieved major successes, with many more to come. When I was pre-op, I found a few people on OH who I absolutely idolized. I wanted to be just like them. I thought they were perfect. Looking back… they prob. Were having the same problems with themselves that I am now. But from the outside, no one even sees the faults I see in myself. We have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this "image" of who we think we are. That image stays the same in our minds no matter what we look like in the mirror. I need to really listen to the compliments I’m receiving… and see myself as others do. I don’t need to put stock in what I THINK others think about me, or will think, and focus on the constant… which is my own opinion.

 

3. I can’t waste my time wishing I was someone else, or looked like someone "thinner" than me. Cause honestly, it’s not going to happen. I am who I am. I’ll never look like them, and nor should I want to. Then I wouldn’t be a unique human being. Our uniqueness is our strength. We’re not like thin people. We’re better. Here’s why: We’ve seen both sides of the spectrum. We know what it’s like to be heavy.. we’re learning what it’s like to be thinner. How many people can say something like that? We’ll always have that soft spot, and consideration for heavier people. It’s something I never want to lose. You can certainly find inspiration in others, but why should we desire to be just like them? There’s only one me in this world… don’t we owe it to ourselves to be the best person we can be? We grow up thinking different isn’t good, but in reality, our differences make us who we are. It seems the thinner you get the more judgmental of your body you become. Even with my flabby arms, and thighs, I’m different in an absolutely amazing way. I need to cherish it. The moment you start accepting yourself and be at peace with it, that’s the moment where life starts to truly work for you.