- Username: marylaw
- Location: Winfield, KS, USA
- Member Since: 7/26/2008
- BMI: 44.7
- Hoping to have surgery
- Surgery Type: VSG (11/17/08)
- Surgeon: Gregory Walton, M.D.
Photos
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Before & AfterThere are currently no before and after photos for this member. See these instructions if you wish to submit your own Before & After photos.
Goals
No Public Goals Yet.
Surgeon TestimonialGregory Walton, M.D.When I attended the informational seminar, Dr. Walton was the presenter. I was impressed by his unassuming demeanor, his humor, and his knowledge. When I found out that I could get an appointment with him, I was delighted. When I met with him, I just knew he was the surgeon for me! I have had several challenges already, and Dr. Walton has been very helpful and encouraging. His staff has been wonderful. Everyone emphasizes the importance of pre- and post-op care. Dr. Walton and I both know there are risks, not only in connection with the surgery but with me as the patient. I feel like I am part of the team, to make sure my experience is the best it can be. I feel \"heard,\" and that is so important to me. No question is \"stupid.\" I appreciate Dr. Walton's surgical expertise and his sensitive bedside manner.rnI'm sure Dr. Walton is not a perfect surgeon, but, so far, he's come close.
Member Interests
- Books & Literature - I'm an avid reader. I love to learn and be challenged.
- Writing - I enjoy writing spiritual devotionals and articles.
- Teaching - I'm a retired English teacher. I still enjoy teaching; I just don't get paid.
- Walking - I used to enjoy walking. I look forward to being able to again.
- Singing - My favorite form of worship is singing.
- Christianity - Radically saved (40 years and counting)
- Married - Very!!!
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My name is Mary. I'm 52 and am super morbidly obese. When complications from that landed me in the hospital in June, 2008, I knew something had to be done. Despite losing over 40 lbs., my weight is still too high. I am now dealing with high blood pressure, congestive heart failure, fluid retention, bad knees, lower back pain, and the list goes on.
My highest weight was 400. When I saw Dr. Walton, I was down to 373. I now weigh 360, and I must lose an additional 24 lbs. in order to have WLS. I have chosen the VSG surgery. [Had surgery 11/17/09]
I believe that my weight is due to past abuse that I suffered. I can't talk about it too much, even here, but, in short, I was abducted, chloroformed, and raped at the age of 15, as I was walking to church. It was a memory that my mind "put away" for over 30 years.
My first husband was very abusive. I left him when I was 4 1/2 months pregnant--after he pushed me down a flight of stairs, in hopes that I'd lose the baby. It was then that I realized that if he hurt me, he'd probably hurt our baby, and I could not tolerate that.
My second husband found me and fell in love with my daughter and I. Somehow, I knew he would take care of us, and he has. However, my weight has continued to climb.
With the help of my therapist, I've realized that I've tried to insulate myself with my weight, to keep people (especially men) away from me. I thought that when I realized all of this, the weight would just drop off. It hasn't.
I've done all I can. Now, I am ready to have WLS. I'm sure it sounds silly, but I feel like that when Dr. Walton cuts away most of my stomach, he'll be cutting away all the hurt from my past. I hope to get to know many of you.
Life Goes On on November 12, 2010 8:10 pm
Hi, Everyone.
It's been so long since I wrote in this blog. Life has been a challenge, for me. God is good...all the time, and He helps me handle whatever comes my way.
I'm dealing with several health challenges, none of which are from my weight-loss surgery. I don't know how it will all turn out, but one of the best things about knowing Jesus as Savior is that I know if He calls me Home, Home is where I will be, for all eternity.
I'm not writing, currently. I go through dry spells. This is one of them, but I really hope to be able to continue with the Life Plan Devotional, at least until I have enough daily devotions to cover one year.
Two weeks ago tomorrow, I said goodbye to a dear friend. We were standing in faith for her healing from 2 brain tumors, but then Jesus gave her a glimpse of Heaven, and she made her choice. Her dear husband (they would have celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary this Sunday) said that he knew she was seeing Heaven, and he asked her, "What do you see?" and she answered, "I see...everything!" and then she said, "Oh, God. It's so beautiful."
While I rejoice that my dear friend is healed and happy, in the presence of the Lord, I ache for her husband and daughter (she turns 18 this month), who are missing her desperately. There were an estimated 750 people at her funeral, her Homegoing Celebration. She touched a lot of lives, even though she was mostly a stay-at-home wife and mother. She taught little ones, in Sunday School, as well as at AWANA. It doesn't take much, though, to impact others for Jesus. Her smile lit up the room, and her laughter was infectious. I miss her.
Just a few days ago, I thought of my mom, as it was the 9th anniversary of her move to Heaven. There are so many friends and loved ones there, now, that it makes me Homesick. I feel the tug to go, but also the tug to stay.
I'm having a stress echo on the 18th, so if anyone reads this, who believes in the power of prayer, please pray for me, for courage and for whatever outcome is best. My heart is tired. It doesn't take much to wear me out, so if there's something that needs to be fixed, I'm ready for it to happen.
My weight is at a standstill, and has been for so long, it seems. I cannot exercise at all; between my knees and my heart, it's just not possible right now. I just pray that in the future I will be able to, for I know it's key in my weight-loss journey.
Well, that's about it. I do think of my OH friends, and I pray for all of you daily. I feel I've abandoned you, otherwise, and if you feel the same way, I'm so very sorry.
Love to All,
Mary
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Life Plan Devotion #250 [My Restoration, part II] on August 2, 2010 6:03 am
Hi, Everyone.
It has been a very busy 2 weeks. I thank you for your patience, for allowing me time away, to rest, to get some much needed work done, to take care of some medical issues, and to spend time with family. It was all necessary, but I missed writing the Life Plan Devotion, and I missed having contact with you. You were in my heart and prayers.
Tomorrow, I will have a vaginal sonogram and mammogram. In the near future, I will undergo a colonoscopy. These are just to see how I look on the inside, not from any concerns. :) I saw the knee surgeon, and x-rays confirmed that both knees are bone-on-bone. We are trying the triple Synvisc injections in each knee, as he would like to hold off on surgery. I'm relieved and disappointed, all at the same time. I know the Lord has a plan, so I will try to patiently wait for it to unfold.
Today, we continue with the 23rd Psalm series. If you missed the first 3, feel free to read them on my profile blog.
Please pray for all those having surgery today, as well as those recovering from surgery. If you have any specific prayer requests, please post them or send a personal message.
Blessings,
Mary
Life Plan Devotion #250 [My Restoration, part II]
Psalm 23:3a “He refreshes and restores my life (my self)” (Amplified).
Last time, we looked at the first type of lost sheep, the person who has not yet given his/her heart to Jesus, and how the Good Shepherd pursues the lost with great compassion. Today, let's look at another type of “lost” sheep...the believer who, for whatever reason, feels lost, hurt, disconnected.
Everyone goes through struggles. Believers are not immune to them. Trials come, from within and from without. Jehovah-Rapha, The Lord my Healer, desires to refresh and restore.
The believer may feel lost within, not because he/she is not truly saved but because apathy has been allowed to come in. Like any relationship, our relationship with the Lord will suffer if we ignore it, if we ignore Him. Eventually, the Lord will say to us, “'You have forsaken your first love'” (Revelation 2:4). In the meantime, we feel disconnected, like something is not quite right, although we may not even realize the reason.
At other times, the believer may feel lost because of struggles without—being on the receiving end of hurts from others, when the whole world seems wrong. If this describes you, today, let me remind you that Jesus cares, and He desires that you cast all your care upon Him (I Peter 5:7). If there is something you need to do, He will let you know, as you ask Him for wisdom. Otherwise, let Him work out everything, in His time, in His way.
The apostle Paul, and those who served with him, experienced “conflicts on the outside, fears within” (II Corinthians 7:5, NIV), but it didn't last forever. Paul goes on to write, “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us...” (7:6). Open your heart and mind to God's comfort, through prayer, through His Word, through other believers. If you need a heavenly hug, He will give one to you. If you have lost your first love, allow “Godly sorrow” to well up within you, for it “brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret” (7:10).
What this has to do with weight loss: There are times, on the weight-loss journey, that you may feel lost, unsure as to what to do next, to continue releasing weight, or you may feel lost without the former temporary comfort that overeating gave. Whatever the reason for how you feel, reach out to others, for help. Use the knowledge gained, and do what you can do, every moment of every day, whether you feel like it or not.
Prayer for Today:
“ Heavenly Father, there are times I feel lost. Sometimes, it's because of outside forces. Sometimes, it's because of inner conflict. Whatever the reason for how I feel, You are the answer. You are always the answer. You know me so well, and You know what's going on...even when I have no clue. When I'm feeling out of sorts, remind me that You are with me, that You care, and, as I partner with You, that You are working everything out for my good, because You have called me to Your design and purpose (Romans 8:28, Amplified). While my feelings are often fickle, my faith is my sure foundation. You are my Sure Foundation, and, with You, I am never lost. Thank You, Lord. Amen.”
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Life Plan Devotion & My Life :) on July 20, 2010 4:49 pm
Hi, Everyone.
Life is turning up the heat a bit. I have 21 family members coming in beginning Friday, a cookout on Sat., family going home Sunday afternoon, I'm seeing the surgeon Tuesday--one week from today--(to schedule 2 knee-replacement surgeries), and, despite not having had a "cycle" in over 2 years (even before WLS), today is day 6 of what had better be "the last hurrah." I'm scheduled to have the yearly female check a week from this Thursday--which I haven't had since my baby was a newborn (and he turned 28 in January). I know. I know. That's terrible, and you're shocked...but, in my defense, I avoided having those checks because of past sexual trauma. However, it's time to face each and every fear. I am no longer 15, and I am no longer a victim!
With all of the above, I feel like I'm going in 10 different directions, so I hope all of you will understand when I tell you that I've decided to take some time off writing and posting the Life Plan Devotion. Not too long...I plan to post again Monday, August 2nd (2 weeks from yesterday). Please understand, and please don't forget to watch for a post then.
I'd appreciate your prayers, for all of the above. If you have a prayer request, let me hear from you. I'm not taking time off from praying. :)
Blessings,
Mary
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No devotion today :( on July 19, 2010 8:46 am
Hi, Everyone.
Well, live & learn. I will never take 2 Advil PM at 11 PM ever again. Major brain fog today, manifesting in inability to write. I'll try again, tomorrow. You're all in my prayers.
(((Hugs))) & Blessings,
Mary
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Flashback Friday Devotion #59 [Praising...no... on July 16, 2010 6:46 am
Hi, Everyone.
It's a fabulous Friday here in Kansas. We had some good rain last night, and my lawn looks happy this morning. :)
Let's pray for all those having surgery today, as well as those recovering from surgery. My friend, Rose, went through her surgery well and is recovering. My friend, Sophie, is recovering nicely from her plastic surgery. Thank you for continuing to pray for their complete healing.
Today's devotion is from my personal journal dated June 6, 2007. Let me know how God speaks to you, and if you have a prayer request, feel free to contact me. I am honored to pray for you.
Blessings,
Mary
Flashback Friday Devotion #59 [Praising...no matter what]
Shortly after I began hearing from God, about this God Gain Lifestyle (eating with thanksgiving and discipline), God let me know that He would teach me something every day for 60 days. As I was getting ready to go to early prayer this morning, I was telling the Lord that I felt a little afraid, because tomorrow is the last day of "class" for this daily teaching from Him. I know that fear is never of God, so I asked Him to help me. The response was immediate, "Praise Me."
I continued, "But, Lord, what will I do if things get hard?" The answer was the same, "Praise Me." My mind went back to a conversation I had with Debra (one of my accountability partners) the day before yesterday. She talked about the importance of praising God, no matter what.
I was reminded of a song sung by The Imperials, called "Praise the Lord!" These are the words, as I recall them:
When you're up against a struggle
That seems to shatter all your dreams,
And your hopes look cruelly crushed
By Satan's manifested schemes,
And you feel the urge within you
To submit to earthly fears,
Don't let the faith you're standing on
Seem to disappear!
Chorus:
Praise the Lord!
He can work through those who praise Him.
Praise the Lord,
For our God inhabits praise!
Praise the Lord,
For the chains that seem to bind you
Serve only to remind you
That they drop powerless behind you
When you praise Him!
Now Satan is a liar
And he wants to make us think that we are paupers
When he knows himself
We're children of the King!
So lift up the mighty Shield of Faith
For the battle must be won
We know that Jesus Christ is Risen
And the work's already done!
Repeat Chorus
I read II Chronicles chapter 20, about Jehoshaphat and his army up against a BIG battle. Jehoshaphat sought the Lord, proclaimed a fast, and God calmed his heart, telling him that the battle wasn't his, but God's.
Verse 21 says that Jehoshaphat "appointed singers to sing to the Lord and praise Him in their holy garments, as they went out before the army, saying, 'Give thanks to the Lord, for His mercy and loving-kindness endure forever!'" That's how important is praise! It's the key for winning any battle. Praise ushers in victory!
Just like the song "Praise the Lord!" reminds us, "The work's already done!" Every battle was won at the Cross, already.
I know there may be difficult days ahead, because it's part of life on a fallen, sinful earth, but when those difficult trials come, I don't have to be imprisoned by them. I can choose, like Paul and Silas, to praise the Lord until the prison doors open and the chains fall off. Praise the Lord!
Today, no matter what you face, I encourage you to praise the Lord anyway! No matter the trial, big (physical, financial, family, etc.) or small (a number on the scale, etc.), turn your thoughts to the Lord and praise Him, whether you feel like it or not. See how much better you will feel, afterward. Listen to Russ Taff sing "Praise the Lord!" (sing along, if you will): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNYw_lWwwA8
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