It is the morning of my surgery.  I am getting ready and still packing at this last minute since work has been so swamped.  I am excited.  I am soooo freaking thirsty because I had my "broth" last night since I was starving.  Now after having soooo much broth, which is like drinking salt mind you, I am actually dying for water and I know I can't drink any without complications with general anesthesia.  My husband is no support in this process and I really don't have anyone upbeat around me (from my personal friends/family).  I am very sleepy so that is sort of helping me also, in not being too anxious.  My surgery was originally scheduled for 8:30 a.m.  Yesterday they called and said I was to arrive at the hospital at 11:00 a.m.  I was kind of put off because everyone has know for weeks about the date and time and now I had to shift everyone.  When I called the dr's office to find out why, the office manager was quite snotty with me.  I was told there were 2 slots a day, both by them and by other patients.  There was 6:00 or 8:30.  So when I was surprised to get 11:00, I don't think that should have been so strange.  I think I offended my doctor when I asked him about his fatality record and I get the feeling he doesn't like me very much.  Oh well, all that matters is that he is an excellent, superior, astute surgeon, I guess.  It's funny though because I chose this doctor because of his bedside manner.  I put my six-year old on the bus today and when I got inside I thought, "Oh my God, what if that is the last time she ever sees me and she didn't even realize it!"  I do have the fear of dying although I try to think positively.  I am my own boss so if I am not at the office, I don't get paid.  Because of this, I can't stay away very long from work.  I do have a very competent assistant but still I am the one the clients want.   I am starting to fall asleep as I am writing this and I still have to pack so I am going to run...see you on the other side...make room for me on the loser's bench!!!  :-)