ObesityHelp

Sometime around 6PM on Monday, September 24, the man who raised me and my younger brother as if we were his biological sons, and my Mother’s Husband of the past 30 years, Russell W. Hartley died of a massive, sudden (but, not all that unexpected) heart attack while preparing dinner in the family kitchen.

He was quite proud of his sons and particularly proud of how I had finally taken control of my weight and overall health during the past 2 years. Unfortunately, he never made his own health a priority. He wouldn’t have recognized a healthy meal if it bit him in the ass. Smoking two packs a day for over 45 years while choking down a couple of liverwurst and processed american cheese on Wonder Bread sandwiches followed by a package of Snowballs for lunch each day will seriously shorten your life span. He was only 62 years old, for cryin’ out loud.

Over this past week, the outpouring of support from friends and acquaintances has been overwhelming and much appreciated. Many of you have said, “If there’s anything I can do, just ask” Most people never cash in on that offer... but, I do believe that I will.

So... Here’s my sincere request:
Encourage someone that you love to take better care of themselves. Someone that smokes, eats too many unhealthy foods, drinks too much, won’t go to the doctor, or just something as simple as never wearing a seat belt. I’m not asking that you hold an intervention... but, maybe just one little push towards improved wellness could make a difference. I’ve learned from experience that, more often than not, this type of encouragement falls on deaf ears.... but, every so often, something clicks and the message is received.
I’m living proof.

Here’s hoping that something clicks.

74 Weeks Out - Current Weight: 183lbs. Total Loss: 234lbs. • I eat all day long. No, seriously... all freakin' day long. My extremely high level of physical activity requires me to get in at least 3000 calories a day. But, of course, I can't eat all that much at one time and, I refuse to eat foods with no real nutritional value just to get in the calories. I NEVER eat bread, pasta, rice, white potatoes, etc... So, my solution? Eat every 1 1/2 - 2 hours. This keeps my glucose levels fairly even all day, and I can get in 3000 - 4000 calories between waking and going to sleep. 4000 calories?!?!?!?! Yup. Hard to fathom, but it's necessary. I wouldn't recommend it unless you were biking 15-40 miles and running 3-6 miles each day, though. It's crazy... all these calories and the scale still creeps donward.

65 weeks out: Fluctuating between 190 & 193 lbs • Yesterday, I competed in and finished the New Jersey Devilman Sprint Triathlon. I wasn't the one of fastest athletes out there... not even close. But, hey... that ain't the point. If it wasn't for WLS giving me a good kick in the ass, I would never have been able to accomplish anything like this. As a matter of fact, before the surgery, I wouldn't have even had the energy to wake up at 4 in the morning and make the 2 hour drive to the race, let alone swim, bike and run for over 2 1/2 hours. A complete, detailed race report has been posted on my triathlon journal.

57 weeks out: Hovering right around 194lbs. • Much to my surprise, I found myself deeply affected by a simple question posed to me during Tuesday night's online, men's forum exercise/fitness chat. Now, it's no secret here or to anyone who knows me that I workout and train... alot. Of course, I've heard all of the "addiction transference" comments from quite a few people (at work, at home, in my local support group, and yes - here on OH). My quick response to this has always been, "Replacing my food addiction with exercise is much better than replacing it with booze & hookers!" It gets a brief chuckle... and the topic is quickly dropped. This even happened during Tuesday's chat after a brief mention of my seemingly insane triathlon training regimen. Then came the question. I'm paraphrasing here... but, essentially I was asked about the true driving force behind all of this work. Was it to get buff or built? Was it to prove something to myself or others? Or, was it simply do to something that never seemed possible before? I was stopped dead in my tracks. I really had never thought about why... One day I just set this goal for myself and got moving. My eventual answer was that I now considered myself a triathlete-in-training... this is what it takes. And, it was left at that. But, the question stayed with me. Why? Why all this work? I honestly do enjoy it... but, could that be the only reason? There's tons of other things that I enjoy doing, but don't devote as much time and effort to. Yesterday, I revisited an article that I read months ago written by triathlete & fitness expert, Eric Harr called 20 Great Reasons To Do A Triathlon... It really hit home and reminded me why I started all of this in the first place. Here's a brief synopsis with some highlights of the article: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." • 20 serious benefits for triathletes: You Will Lose Weight; You Will Look and Feel Years Younger; You Will Have More Energy; You Will Get More Out of Your Workouts; You Will Improve Your Health; You Will Live Longer; You Will Be More Productive; You Will Learn to Handle Stress More Effectively; You Will Build Rock-Solid Self-Confidence; Your Mood Will Improve; Your Motivation to Exercise Will Soar; You Will Learn to Strengthen Your Weaknesses; You Get to Rub Shoulders with the Best Athletes in the World; You Will Join the Fitness Elite (If you complete just one triathlon, you will become one of the fitness elite no matter what your finishing time. You will have accomplished something that only one percent of the population even dare try.); You Will Have an Increased Sense of Purpose in Your Life (There are times in our lives when we find ourselves unfulfilled on deep, intangible levels - and we cannot explain why. We may have everything we want: a fulfilling career, a wonderful family, a strong network of loving friends. We just can't put our finger on our underlying restlessness.); You Will Become the Best You That You Can Be; You Will Be a Hero to Your Kids (If your children watch you finish a triathlon, they may never look at you the same way.); You Will Motivate and Inspire Those Around You; You Will Set Other Positive Things in Motion - Things You Never Imagined. •••••• All those months ago, I found these words to be motivational and inspiring. Now, I find them summing up the new direction my life has taken. I've been reminded that, daily life rarely, if ever, provides us with the opportunity to be truly courageous, to show the world what we're really made of... and to be recognized for our own greatness. Completing a triathlon can provide you, and those around you, with physical proof that you are capable of more than anyone realizes. If anyone cares... This is why I do it. Glad I figured it out.

53 weeks out: Holding steady at 199lbs. • It's like someone flipped a switch. I hit my year anniversary and personal weight goal... a day later, I start getting much hungrier than I had been in the last year. For the past few months, I've been getting between 1700-2000 cals a day and still losing. I eat something every 2-3 hours - but, in the last week, I've noticed that I've been checking my watch repeatedly... just waiting for the next "feeding". I've checked my daily caloric needs with all of the various online calculators, and taking my high level of physical activity into account, I could get away with about 3200 calories and probably STILL lose. Here's my dilemma... I'm a bit freaked about raising my calories above 2000 per day. I know that it's probably the best thing for me, but, it's tough to wrap my head around it. I'm thinking I'll do it gradually... like adding an average of an extra 100-200 cals each day every week or two until I get to where I want to be - based on hunger, body fat, energy level and weight maintenance. All in all, I think I've got a good handle on it. As much success as I might have had with this whole process, I'm just gonna have to remember that it will always be a work in progress.

GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL! “It’s very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life.” - Inigo Montoya - The Princess Bride • Of course, Montoya was referring to his life-long search for the six-fingered man. In my case... replace the word “revenge” with “weight loss”... See where I’m goin’ with this? My Official Weight: 199 lbs. That’s One Hundred and Ninety Nine Frickin’ Pounds. Okay, okay, I’ll say it... “One-der-land”. This lovely little nugget of information was revealed to me this morning after stepping on the scale for the 366th consecutive day since surgery. Yup, today just so happens to be the first anniversary of my lap RNY. Coincidence? Synergy? Harmonic Convergence? You can call it what you like, but I call it... • 218 lbs... gone. (BMI down to 26.3 from 55.0 - Current body fat at 13%) • Back Pain... gone. (So long, Mr. Chiropractor) • Sleep Apnea... gone. (No more snoring, either) • High Blood Pressure... gone. (Along with the expensive medication) • 56 Inch Waist Pants... gone. (Replaced with 32’s) • 5XL & 6XL Shirts... gone. (Replaced with Medium & Large) • That secret, awful, sickening feeling deep down that I might drop dead of a heart attack at any moment and leave my sweet little girl without her Daddy, knowing full well that I could have prevented it....... Gone. I’m gettin’ a little misty, here. Ya know what? Screw Inigo Montoya... I know exactly what I’m doing with the rest of my life. Be Well, A.J. Oh Yeah...Here's my official 1 year pic:

51 weeks out: Down 193lbs since surgery and 215lbs for the year. • I'm normally not one to post advice on the boards. (I'm much better with encouragement, silliness, and even a little bragging here and there) But, my man, Timmy Ray asked me to post my thoughts about the importance of exercise on the New Jersey board... So, I will humbly accept my assignment. And, since I spent so much time typing it, I figured that I'd paste it here, as well. So here goes. These are just MY opinions on the subject... take 'em or leave 'em: Look... you've had surgery, you are going to lose weight and burn fat no matter what, AT FIRST. Hell, you might even get below your goal without doing a lick of exercise. Just about all of us are guaranteed to lose 60-75% of our excess body weight through the surgery alone. But, is that really acceptable to you? I, for one, did not take the risk of surgery to only shed 3/4 of the weight that I needed to. Nor will I allow myself to put that weight back on. Like it or not, exercise will GREATLY increase your chances on losing more and keeping it off. We're talking about a complete lifestyle change here, not just how we deal with food. Get up and get moving. I'm not saying that you should be running marathons... walk, jog, run, swim, bike, dance, play tennis, shoot some baskets, roller skate, or do some tai chi. Howzabout a yoga class? Geez... try pole dancing! Something! Anything! As corny and as hack as it sounds, Nike's got the right idea... Just Do It. (Bleeeeccchhh... I can't believe I actually typed that). I do some sort of exercise or physical activity AT LEAST 5 days a week. And, I can't begin to describe how much it has enhanced the entire WLS experience for me. C'mon... reach your goal, keep it off, sleep better, feel better, look better, experience a new feeling of accomplishment, have fun, enjoy the outdoors, make new friends... What 'cha got to lose? (other than a few more pounds!) Alright, alright - That's enough outta me. I think you get my point. See? This is why I don't post any advice... I get all caught up in my opinions and just spill it all over the keyboard. On a similar note, what ever you do... Never, EVER ask me my opinions on politics or religion. This website doesn't have enough bandwidth to support all of the ranting and raving I could do! Okay... back to encouragement, silliness & bragging! Be Well... I mean it.

48 weeks out: Down 189lbs since surgery and 211lbs for the year. • Dang... Exacty one year ago today I was tipping the scales at over 4 bills. Now, Im LESS than half the man I was that day. I'm careening towards 40 years old (well, 2 1/2 years to go) and I've NEVER felt better! So, just as a year-end present to myself, I decided to take on my own little personal sprint distance triathlon at the gym this morning: I hit the pool for 500 meters, followed it up with an hour-long intense spinning class and finished it off with a 5K on the treadmill. Done... and I could do some more right now if I were so inclined. My new fitness goal for 2007 is to complete the Olympic Distance (instead of my original goal of the Sprint/Short Course Distance) at the New Jersey State Triathlon in July: 1500 Meter Swim; 25 Mile Bike; 10K Run. And from there... who knows? Maybe a Marathon in the next year or even, as a 40th birthday present to myself, the 2009 Ironman (2.4 Mile Swim; 112 Mile Bike; 26.2 Mile Run) or Half Iromman. One thing's for sure... I ain't gonna rule it out. Last year, I don't think I even had the stamina to WATCH the Ironman on television! Big thanks to everyone here and have yourselves a great and even healthier New Year.

44 weeks out: Down 178lbs since surgery and 200lbs for the year. • For the past 2 weeks, the scale has been hovering around 221 - 220lbs. This morning - BANG! 217. 200 pounds gone... officially... forever. Earlier this week at the gym, someone asked me, “Hey, what happened to that fat guy with the long hair that used to come here?” I told him, “I killed that dude... gang-land style, and dumped him in the river. You won’t be seeing him around here anymore.” (Hey, Italian guy from Jersey... that’s the kind of answer that’s expected here.) Only 18 lbs left to reach my personal goal. I can hardly believe it. Thanks to everyone here for all of your success stories, support, kind words, encouragement, & friendship. I never thought that I’d be a part of any “online community”. Then again, I never thought I could shed 200 pounds in less than a year. Hmmmmm... You learn something every day.

39 weeks out: Down 162lbs since surgery and 184lbs for the year. • Today just happens to be my Nine Month “Surgiversary” (Hmmm.... I’m not really sure if I like that word or not. I can’t put my finger on it, but something about it rubs me the wrong way... Oh well.) and I’m in a bit of a reflective mood. So, I figure that this is a good a day as any for another round of “let’s insist on making everyone pay attention to A.J.” Oh wait..... Uh...... I mean, another round of my “Random Musings”. (Yeah, that’s it.) •  Recently, I’ve upped my calorie intake to around 1700 cal each day. And, as a result, I’ve dropped 9 pounds in the last 2 weeks. As of this morning I am 233 lbs, for a total loss so far of 184 (D’oh!). At 6’1”, that puts me 6 pounds away from a BMI under 30... Officially making me “overweight”. It’ll be the first time in about 15 years that I haven’t been classified as “obese”, “morbidly obese”, or “super morbidly obese”. Geez... the thought of being called “overweight” never sounded so good. • This past Sunday was the New Jersey 5K Run for Breast Cancer. It was cold, the wind was unreal, part of the course brought us through a very muddy field, and about one third of it was uphill. Brutal. Here’s a picture of Vivian wishing her Daddy “Good Luck”: I finished in just a hair over 35 minutes. In better conditions, I could have shaved a minute or two off. But hey, this time last year I could barely walk a mile. My brother ran as well. He’s 5 years younger than me and was always a great, natural athlete. You know... Captain of our high school basketball team, all-star baseball player... that kind of thing. I finished more than 5 minutes ahead of him. • So... here’s my new before and after pic: The “before” shot was a few weeks before surgery. The “after” was Sunday following the 5K. • The family and I spent a long weekend in the Shenandoah Valley a few weeks ago. We spent one afternoon at an indoor water park. I hit a few of the big water slides 5 or 6 times (climbing 7 flights of stairs each time!) and then decided to try a little body board in the high-powered surfing/wave pool. While waiting my turn, I asked the pretty, young, blonde lifeguard if the water jets had enough power to move someone my size. She gave me a weird look and in a thick, southern accent said, “What do you mean? It won’t work for heavy folks... but, you’re not big at all.” Security asked me to leave after I tried to make out with her. • Now that I’m training for a triathlon, I’ve been spending some quality time swimming laps and bike riding. The swimming is a nice change of pace, but, I’m really getting into the cycling thing. I just shelled out a good amount of dough for a brand new 2007 Trek FX 7.5 Hybrid Fitness bike. Man, is it nice. I keep it locked in the back of my truck so I can take it everywhere I go. I even spend about half of my lunch hour riding around the neighborhoods near my office. Cool... Fitness AND Fun.

And I'm not talking about my waist here (That's cause I've lost 20 INCHES around the middle). Nope... It's the hair. This weekend, I donated an 18 inch braided ponytail to Locks of Love. Hopefully, some deserving child will benefit from my 22 years of avoiding the barber shop and spending a small fortune on shampoo and conditioner. I swear, I was less nervous about having WLS... but, it was just time for a style change. It's still longer than most guys' hair. Blunt cut, one length all the way around, just past the shoulders. It's actually sort of hip. I no longer look like I just got home from following the Grateful Dead around the country for a few years! I'll try to post a new avatar soon. Thanks for allowing me to vent a bit... Ahhh, I fell better now.

34 weeks out: Down 144lbs since surgery and 166lbs for the year. • When I first started looking into WLS more than a year and a half ago, I received a TON of great information and support from a business acquaintance. At the time, he was a year post-op himself and at goal. In passing, I told him that I was looking into WLS. He immediately sat down and answered every question I had for over an hour - and the next morning, there was a HUGE packet of information waiting for me at my office. I poured over the months and months worth of research that he had done and eventually ended up going to the same surgical group that he used. It really made the decision-making process a whole lot easier. I promised myself that I would do the same for someone else someday. Well... today is that “someday”. I got a call this morning from someone that I have been helping through that scary pre-surgery decision. He told me that my surgeon will be performing his RNY before the end of this year. He even wants to tag along for a support group meeting. I could not be happier for him and his family. • As of 2 weeks ago, I’m completely off all blood pressure medication. 120 over 80 - consistently. And for extra bonus points, I no longer have to shell out a hundred bucks every 2 months for a bottle of 100 mg Toprol XL. (Cool... now, what can I spend an extra $50 bucks a month on?) • I know that, considering the fact that my big 5K charity run is still about 6 weeks away, this is gonna sound weird, but, being able to run a full 5K is already becoming boring for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled that I can do it and I’m still looking forward to the event... but, a week or two ago, I started looking for a new fitness goal. It didn’t take me long to find one. At the end of July, I’ll be competing in the New Jersey State Triathlon. 500 meter swim / 13.5 mile bike / 5K run - in that order, one right after the other. The running part has already been addressed, my bike is now at the local shop getting a tune-up and new road tires, and thankfully, my gym’s got a great big pool for doing laps. I’ve got a meeting with my trainer on Thursday night, and he’ll help me put together a reasonable training schedule. It’s only 10 months away... whoa, I’d better get crackin’. • This past Sunday, a great group of post-ops, pre-ops, family and friends got together for a nice 3 mile walk on the boardwalk. It wasn’t sanctioned by any national organization, we didn’t raise any money, and we didn’t get any mention in the local papers. The walk was a breeze for some folks and harder for some others. But, we all did it together for the camaraderie and just for the health of it. My sincere thanks to all of my friends who were there to share the experience with me and my family.

31 weeks out: Down 138lbs since surgery and 160lbs for the year. • After our last support group meeting, a few of us, as we usually do, went out for a bite at a local diner. Sometime during the course of the evening, the conversation was about friendships and relationships... The fact that we all had some people in our lives that we should rid ourselves of, and the need for us to surround ourselves with people who were more positive influences on us. Then, today, I stumbled across this little essay in a book that I’m just finishing up. I found it to be a fitting epilogue to our discussion... Investing in Friends: Even if we have a lot of money in the bank, we can still die very easily from our suffering. So, investing in a friend, making a friend into a real friend, building a community of friends, is a much better source of security. We will have someone to lean on, to come to, during our difficult moments. We can get in touch with the refreshing, healing elements within and around us thanks to the loving support of other people. If we have a good community of friends, we are very fortunate. To create a good community, we first have to transform ourselves into a good element of the community. After that, we can go to another person and help him or her become an element of the community. We build our network of friends that way. We have to think of our friends and community as investments, as our most important asset. They can comfort and help us in difficult times, and they can share our joy and happiness. • You know what? I have not had a cold all year. I used to get sick for a one to two week stretch every two months - That’s six full blown colds a year. At least one of them each year would evolve into bronchitis. Antibiotics wouldn’t help. I would literally be sick for 25% of the year. Not now, boy. A little sniffle or scratchy throat? Gone the next day. While researching WLS, no one ever told me about this lovely perk. For 2006, I’ve actually gained 12 more productive weeks where I don’t lay around the house, blowing my nose all evening or go to work feeling like total crap, getting all my co-workers sick. And, not one of them has thanked me. • The week before surgery, I went to the mall to see where normal sized people purchased their clothes. While there, I broke out the credit card and bought a pair of jeans and a shirt in the sizes that I wanted to be able to wear one day. They were size 38 waist carpenter pants from Old Navy and a sporty-looking XL Nike long sleeved pullover. I wore ‘em the other day.They weren’t even tight... How is it that normal, semi-“hip” looking threads from a regular store fit me? That is just flat-out, cool. And, right now, I’m still considered obese. I’ve got 58 more pounds to lose before I’m at my goal of 199. Hot damn... I wonder if I could wear 32 waist or medium shirts. Back in January, that was way too hard to fathom. Now it’s a distinct possibility.

28 weeks out: Down 127lbs since surgery and 149lbs for the year. • I drove to Queens on Tuesday afternoon to go to the Mets game by myself. (Is that weird?) My seat happened to be right next to the designated handicapped section. And, all this area really consisted of was a gated, elevated concrete platform with a little chair lift, a ramp and a bunch of folding chairs for companions to use. I’m not sure why, but I found it to be unacceptable as well as slightly degrading. One of they guys in the section was a very large man seated in an extra, extra wide wheelchair. When the game was over, he quickly got up and easily pushed his own chair down the ramp and toward the exit. I soon realized that the only reason he sat in the handicapped section was because he couldn’t fit in the regular stadium seats. The game was great and everyone went away happy - but, he just looked dejected and embarrassed as he tried to make a discrete getaway. I swear, I wanted to scream. I thought about him the entire two-hour car ride home. I hope somewhere, down deep, he actually was able to enjoy himself a bit during the game... but, I certainly could understand if he didn’t. • On Saturday, I went to a big, backyard BBQ / party with over a hundred guests. I hadn’t seen any of the attendees in at least a year... and some of them in as much as six or seven years. And, boy howdy, did my appearance cause a stir. Talk about the third degree. Now, everyone that knows me, knows that I’m very open and honest about having surgery. But, I just couldn’t bring myself explain the whole thing over and over again to the dozens of people who wanted to talk to me about the drastic weight loss. (Maybe I should have interrupted the party and made a little one-time speech.) Over the past 6 months, I’ve really tried to become an advocate for WLS and to help educate anyone who may be uninformed or have the wrong ideas about the surgery. This weekend, I failed miserably. I really just wanted to enjoy myself at the party and spend just one evening not talking about it. Once again, It’s all just about having this experience lead to a new lifestyle without becoming all-encompassing. • After the party, I finally got to bed at 1:30 am. Yesterday, I woke up around eight o’clock and had absolutely NO DESIRE to do my regularly scheduled Sunday morning 5K training run. But, the day was still young and the weather was wonderful, so I figured... what the hell. I strapped on my new Nike running shoes and hit the pavement. The first mile was very rough on my hips and knees - but, I kept running. Soon, I hit the mile and a half mark (this is the point where I usually have to stop running and walk for at least another mile.) - but, I kept running. By the time I hit the two and a half mile mark and realized that there was only three-fifths of a mile left, there was NO WAY I was going to stop. Uh-uh, no way, no how. And, I’m not gonna lie here, I actually got a little choked-up as I finished the entire 3.1 mile run with out ever stopping, walking or breaking stride. And to think, I almost gave in and passed on running for the day. There’s a lesson here somewhere... I’m just not exactly sure what it is.

26 weeks out: Down 118lbs since surgery and 140lbs for the year. • It was 6 months ago today that Dr. Hans Schmidt cut me open, stuck some mechanical-type gadgets in through the incisions and re-arranged the ol’ plumbing. Since then, every day has gotten better and better. I think, that instead of going on and on about it (as I certainly am known to do), I’ll let this picture do the talking for me: Sometimes I need that side-by-side comparison to really wrap my head around this whole thing. • Growing up, I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I never had to ask permission to go to the fridge or the pantry and shove whatever crap that was there (and believe me, there was a lot) into my chubby little face. Now, I’m not blaming my parents here... but, proper nutrition and exercise were not top priorities in our house. I refuse for that to be the case for my daughter. I realized before she was born that having me for her father automatically increased her chances of becoming obese. Vivian will be two years old on September 12th and has NEVER had any of the following: cookies, candy, lollipops, cake, soda, white bread, McDonald’s (or any other fast food), Kool-Aid, and a long, long list of other foods that almost killed her Daddy. When you ask her what her favorite food is, she doesn't say “ice cream” or “pizza”...she says “bananas” or “string beans”. The other day, my mom told me that when she sees how we feed Viv, she feels guilty about how she did it when I was a kid.I decided not to disagree with her. • On the Jersey boards, there's been alot of talk about these new Mexican-style restaurants called Surf Taco - So, I figured we should give it a go. We checked it out on Saturday and everyone enjoyed the food as well as the casual, laid-back atmosphere. All of the food is fresh and not expensive at all. I had half of a California Chicken wrap on a whole-wheat tortilla... tasty. We got a kids sized meal for Viv that was supposed to come with a soda - I asked the guy if they had apple juice. After he told me that they did, I asked if it was 100% juice. Stunned, he said, “yes, and that’s the first time anyone has asked me that question.” I was surprised by that... but, then again, maybe not that surprised. Here’s a pic of how much fun we had: Vivian and Daddy love salsa. She doesn’t eat the tortilla chips... she just uses one to scoop up the salsa and then slurps it off.

25 weeks out: Down 115lbs since surgery and 137lbs for the year. • This weekend, a few friends were inquiring about my weight loss progress - and they were looking for specifics. (Actual weight, BMI, waist size, shirt size) I answered every question honestly and unfazed. And, I could tell by the stunned reaction of some of the guys that I weigh less and wear smaller clothes than they do. Don’t ask the question if you can’t handle the answer. I could get used to not being the “fat friend” any longer. • I’m finally starting to not feel like an “outsider” at the gym. I’m comfortable doing my work-outs around everyone else and I no longer have that awkward, beginner vibe. The gym “culture” was always something that I never thought that I could get into. But, now that I’m actually in that big room with a bunch of folks with fitness as a common goal, I’m making the most of it. I’ve also noticed that there’s a lot of “networking” going on. I’ve actually become friendly with a bunch of local political and business heavyweights who all show up around the same time that I do. (5:30am). Oh yeah... and, this morning, one of the ladies that works the front desk said to me, “You know, the girls in the back and I have been talking about how great you’ve been doing and how good you look.” Niiiiiiice. • My 6 month “surgiversary” is next week - and I’ve been looking for the perfect “before” picture to post along side a new shot. Well, I’ve found one that completely captures my previous lifestyle. I’m in mid-laugh with my 3rd or 4th Samuel Adams of the evening in hand... and look like I’m about to explode. On the day this picture was taken, It didn't seem so bad to me. Now, I can barely stand to look at it. Hideous... just hideous. I’ll post it early next week. • It’s only been a few weeks, but my training for the 5K is going pretty well. But, I’m still getting used to the achy after-effects of a bone-jarring, high impact run. My left knee has been taking the brunt of it. I need to remember that I’m still 280lbs - That’s a lot of force slamming the pavement over and over. Also, I’ve taken a cue from Jen J. (of the January 2006 board fame) and registered to participate in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation 5K on October 29th in Princeton. This way, I can prove something to myself while helping out a worthwhile cause. If anyone’s interested, I’ll post specific info when the date gets closer.

24 weeks out: Down 113lbs since surgery and 135lbs for the year. • You know, I’ve mentioned before in these musings posts that I pride myself on keeping an overall positive outlook... and I think that, for the most part, I tend to do a pretty decent job of it. So, having said that, let me apologize in advance for a couple of rants that are sure to rear their heads sometime during this post. (I’ll try very hard not to have this become a habit) • Let me start with... red wine. I have decided to re-introduce red back into my life. And, of course, I have done my research. I'm sure we’ve all heard of the health benefits of red wine as well as the so called “French Paradox”. You mean to tell me that I can have a nice glass of Cabernet Sauvignon every so often and possibly reduce my risk of coronary heart disease, reduce the production of unhealthy cholesterol, boost healthy cholesterol, reduce blood clotting, and enhance the function of fat metabolism? Where do I sign up? I know, I know... all in moderation. • Okay - I’ve got an issue with the TV show, “Scrubs”. I’m not normally a sitcom kind of guy, but I usually find this one somewhat amusing. BUT... About a year or so ago, they aired an episode that included an overweight young lady (with co-morbidities) who was insisting on having a gastric bypass. I was dismayed by the insensitive and misinformed handling of the subject matter. Here are some direct quotes from a doctor during the episode: ”You want to take the easy way out with the surgery because you're scared. You're scared because if you try and fail, there's only you to blame. Life is scary. Get used to it.”; “There are no magical fixes. It's all up to you. So get up off your keister, get out of here, and go start doin' the work.”; “Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy.” I say, the guy that wrote that dialogue needs to walk in our shoes for a few weeks. • I’ve decided that I’m going to participate in a 5K run in late September. Yesterday, I measured out a 3.1 mile (that’s 5K, if ya didn’t know!) route around town for practice. It was harder than I thought. My knees and thighs would only allow me to actually run about a third of the course, total. But, I made sure to power-walk during the times when I had to stop running. I finished in about 45 minutes. Within the next 2 months, I ‘m hoping to be able to work up to a full run for the entire length. I don’t think that’s too lofty a goal.

23 weeks out: Down 107lbs since surgery and 129lbs for the year. • Yesterday afternoon, we took our daughter to the neighborhood playground for some quality time on the swings and the slide. Not 30 seconds after exiting my vehicle, a woman who was pushing her Grand-niece on the swings, glanced in my direction and shouted... “Hey! I’ve seen you on the internet!” Holy crap... I just froze in my tracks and took a quick mental inventory of all of the out-of-control experiences that I’ve had in the past where an unseen camera may have been present. (Unfortunately, there were many... fortunately, none of them involved Elvis impersonators) My heart descended from my throat when she explained that she’d had WLS also and had seen my profile on OH. (If you’re reading this.... Hi Barbara!) We spent the next 45 minutes having a wonderful discussion about how much our lives have changed for the better. She was such a cool lady. Not only has this surgery helped me with my overall health, but our common WLS experiences have given me a unique opportunity to meet some great people who, in the past, probably would have stayed strangers. • I have very little tolerance for intolerance and a very negative opinion of negativity. (Quite the paradox, I know!) Not everyone believes what I believe. Not everyone feels how I feel. Not everyone handles their accomplishments and failures in the same way. C’mon now... I learned these simple truths at 2 years old from watching Sesame Street. I’ve come across some adults recently that could stand to re-visit Big Bird & Company for a refresher course. • Is every TV commercial about unhealthy food? If I want to be bombarded with images of Quarter-Pounders, Chalupas, Toasted Cheesesteak Sandwiches, Chicken Fries, Stuffed-Crust Pizza, and Bowls full of a mixture of Mashed Potatoes, Fried Chicken, Gravy AND Cheese Sauce(!!!!)... all I need is to flip on the tube. It’s a good thing that none of this stuff appeals to me any longer. • I used to equate it to a modern torture device... but, the elliptical machine has become my friend. Two months ago, I struggled to go 5 minutes. Now, I’m going full-steam for a full hour and burning close to 1,000 calories each time. My brandy-new iPod Nano has been a big help. I loaded it up with my custom “Cardio Mix” - 50 songs that get my blood (and legs) moving. Here’s my top 5 cardio songs that really do the job: “25 Miles” - Edwin Starr; “Go Faster” - The Black Crowes; “I Just Want To Celebrate” - Rare Earth; “Domino” - Kiss; “Super Bad” - James Brown. I wouldn't listen to most of these songs in the car or at home but, they work well for me at the gym.

21 weeks out: Down 98lbs since surgery and 120lbs for the year. • Horoscopes are normally not my thing... But, I like this little blurb from today’s New York Post: Your Horoscope for June 26, 2006 • IF TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: The most important thing you can do on your birthday this year is to draw a line under the past and let nothing from your former life affect what you do in the future. What's done is done and cannot be undone and the only thing that matters is what you do next. Make it something you will want to look back on ten years from now. ....I’m down with that. • The famous Hawaiian singer/ukulele player, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (aka: Braddah IZ) died at 38 years old of a weight-related respiratory illness 9 years ago today. Over the past few years, you’ve probably heard his sparse arrangement of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow / What A Wonderful World”. I always thought the guy was an extraordinary talent. But, all the talent in the world won’t keep your body from giving out from the daily pressure carrying around 750 lbs. I can’t help but wonder...... http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i229/Gyrofork/BraddahIZ.gif • I’ve noticed that most ladies who lose alot of weight get very excited to see their collarbones. That’s not the big one for me.. I’m jazzed to learn that I have an adam’s apple. It’s been hiding under a lot of excess flesh for all these years. • Have you checked out RealAge.com yet? It’s pretty cool. You answer a bunch of questions about your health, diet, lifestyle, family history... that type of stuff, and, it gives you your “real age” as opposed to your chronological age. Since it’s free, I set up two different accounts. With the first one, I entered all of my information as it was before WLS - The verdict: 45.7 years old. With the second account, I answered everything as it applies to me now - Now, my “realage” is 35.2. Not only did I lose 120 lbs so far... I’ve gained more than ten years! Who knows how “young” I’ll be when I reach goal? I’m shooting for 25.

20 weeks out: Down 97lbs since surgery and 119lbs for the year. • One of the regular posters on the Men’s Message Board, Will Walker from Virginia (Will B. Thin), recently had serious complications a week after his surgery. I hear he’s doing better... but not completely out of the woods yet. Like all of us, he just wanted to be healthy for himself and his family - He took the leap and as a result, nearly bought the farm. It reminds me that WLS takes courage. It’s NOT a cop-out. It’s a cop-IN. Get back IN the game. Please take a moment today to think positive thoughts for Will and his family. • Sometimes I get some whacked-out e-mails from some people on OH and I get a little freaked. But, this week I got a few really nice e-mails from people who just identified with me, my posts, my profile, or whatever. I’ve never really made myself, my thoughts, and my opinions this accessible before (More often than not, my opinions tend to offend delicate sensibilities). Now, I find myself becoming less guarded as I become more like the person that I’d like to be. • Oh man, I had a good weekend. I baked in the sweltering 95 degree sun at the Mets game at Shea with my dad & my brother on Father’s Day. Damn, it was a good day. The Mets beat the Orioles 9-5, I (slowly & carefully) drank 2 light beers without incident, David Wright hit a Grand Slam in the 5th inning and 40,000 crazy Mets fans (including us) lost their collective minds. After all that, I hit the gym at 5:30 am this morning and officially weighed in at 298 afterwards. It’s the first time in over 10 years that my weight has started with the number “2”! That’s 6lbs down this week and a total of 119lbs gone since the beginning of this year. I’m having one of those days (Aaah! - don't jinx it!) where you feel like nothing can go wrong... cool.

19 weeks out: Down 91lbs since surgery and 113lbs for the year. • Lately, I’ve found myself really noticing other overweight people in public. When I see someone on the street or in the mall that seems like they could benefit from WLS, I have this desire to just walk right up to them and discuss it. Of course, decorum prevents me from ever doing such a thing. I mean, if a complete stranger had ever brought the subject up to me... a serious tongue lashing would have been in order. But, to tell the truth, I could have used a good wake-up call. Thankfully, I eventually woke up on my own. • I’ve been getting some feedback on my avatar picture. First of all, the do-rag is just to keep my hair out of my face and NOT to hide any receding hair line or WLS-related hair loss. Also, I’ve heard that I should change it because I look “mean”. I don’t know about “mean” - I prefer “serious” or “thoughtful”. Who am I kidding... I was going for “handsome” or even “hot”, and I know it. That is just awful on my part - new pic to follow. • I need to get me one of them new-fangled iPod thingies. Mainly, because I can’t stand the music that they play at the gym any longer. It runs the gamut from bad 80’s top forty to all-out, down-home country western. For me, none of this music is conducive to working out. And, to add insult to injury, it’s pumped through those bad, tinny-sounding dentist’s waiting room style speakers. I need some good aggressive music while I’m on the treadmill and some nice, soothing classical or new age to get me into a zen state for working on the machines. • Checking out the before & after pictures on OH is always fun. I love a good visual to go along with the success stories. And, everyone always looks so happy in their “after” pics. They’ve all got new hairstyles and spiffy clothes. Maybe after a few more pounds, I'll be chopping off some hair and buying a new suit... maybe.

18 weeks out: Down 88lbs since surgery and 110lbs for the year. My NJ Board Contribution: • There's been a lot of pushing lately for both Ocean County Support Group meetings (Toms River & Lakewood). I say, pay attention to these posts. If at all possible, check one out - I doubt you'll be disappointed. Look at me - do I look like the "going-to-a-support-group" type of guy? Thought not. But I look forward to going to the Toms River meeting every month. Those people Kick Ass. • Yesterday, for the first time in over 10 years, I bought jeans at a place OTHER THAN Casual Male Big & Tall. Holy Crap - I spent only 15 bucks at Target for 'em! Used to be, I'd fork over $55 for a "Big & Tall" pair of Levi's. Man, need a couple of inches more of fabric and you really take it on the chin(s). • I was disappointed in the final episode of the Sopranos and not all that thrilled that the Mets lost 2 out of 3 to that cheater Barry Bonds and the Giants. • For those who care, Deidre & I worked Timmy Ray pretty hard at the gym on Saturday morning - and he was back for more with me at 5:30 am today. Not bad Tim - not bad at all. • I've become a big proponent of a few different things to help me along this journey. Flax Seeds, Almonds, Oolong Tea and Compression Clothing. I invite everyone to check 'em out and see if you think they can work for you. If you'd like my take on any of these subjects - just drop me a line.

17 weeks out: Down 84lbs since surgery and 106lbs for the year. Men's Messageboard post: Eating has always been a celebration. The right meal along with the right music, the right wine, the right atmosphere, and the right people was always one of my greatest sources of happiness. I also got immense pleasure by just sitting in my car at lunch hour, listening to the radio with a bag full of Taco Bell. After my anatomy was altered, It was necessary to alter my mind set. But, I have come to a conclusion. I don't want to view food as just fuel. I want to keep that part of my life joyous while not sabotaging my weight loss and new healthy lifestyle. It's just a matter of getting joy out of this new way of eating. Not long ago, I remembered an article written by an author that I have really been into lately. Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist Monk, Zen Master, poet, peace and human rights activist who teaches Mindfulness. Mindful eating is based on the Zen principle of mindfulness and requires your being acutely aware and conscious of what you're eating. I thought that this article might be the kind of thing that some of you might be interested in reading. • http://chetday.com/mindfuleating.htm • Keep in mind that I'm not trying to push Buddhism on anyone. I just want to share something that's been helpful.

16 weeks out: Down 79lbs since surgery and 101lbs for the year. Every once in a while, I'll post a profile/blog type entry on one of the message boards. For future reference (as well as everyone's reading enjoyment), I've decided that I'd copy & paste certain parts of them here in my profile. Men's Messageboard discussion reply: Throughout my adult life, my size gave me an almost "bullet-proof" feeling. As an example, last year I was crossing a busy street with my 6 year old nephew. The traffic made him nervous and he shouted for us to stop because of an oncoming vehicle. My reply was, "Don't worry... Uncle A.J. can take a Ford Explorer!" No matter what, I felt that I and my family were safe as long as I was the most imposing person around. And, having that "Hell's Angel - meets - Professional Wrestler" look didn't hurt either! Most people around here just figured that I was the neighborhood bad-ass. (All you have to do is talk to me for more than 2 minutes to find out that that ain't the case at all.) But, now that my most "impressive" attribute is diminishing at a rapid rate - I wonder if that invincible feeling will as well.

12 weeks out: Down 64lbs since surgery and 86lbs for the year. I finally joined the local gym last week, and I already enjoy going. I had decided ahead of time that I would go every other day in the mornings before work. Now, I've NEVER been a morning person. That started to turn around after the kid was born - I'm even waking up at 7AM on the weekends since then. (I used to sleep in until noon most Saturdays) Last night, I set the alarm for 5 AM this morning. I got my workout stuff on and headed out tho the gym in the pitch black of the early morning. Now, the gym is on a very major roadway about 10 minutes from my house. The roads were empty and all the businesses and auto dealerships along the highway were dark. But, up ahead on the left, the lights from the fitness center brightened up the area sky - and to my surprise, I was excited about it. The parking lot was packed. People had been there since 4:30AM - There was even a women's aerobic class in full swing already. Five months ago, I would have never considered this -I would have said that these people were obsessed and crazy. But, now I've become one of them. I was PROUD to be there at what I used to consider an UNGODLY HOUR. When it was over, I felt energized. I haven't felt this good about my health in over 15 years. I've even dropped 3lbs since yesterday morning!

6 weeks out: Down 47lbs since surgery and 69lbs for the year. Well, what a difference a few weeks can make. For the last 2 weeks, I've felt like I'd never even had surgery. No pain, No aches, I can sleep on my side or stomach and go straight through the night with no snoring or apnea symptoms. I've also been throwing the kid up in the air with no ill effects. As far as food goes, I've been tolerating everything fairly well. I chew the hell out of everything and take my time - maybe that's why there's been very few problems. I get in about 70 - 90 oz of water each day and do around 100g of protein. I've started tracking my food at FitDay (Thanks to everyone at the Toms River Support Group for that suggestion) and I'm averaging 900-1100 calories a day. Oh, I bought new jeans last week and they're already way too big. I guess I'll just tighten the new belt I bought on the same day. Not much else going on - I'm feeling good and pleased with the progress. I'm planning on joining a gym within the next few weeks as soon as I get full clearance from the surgeon. Here's hoping I join the century club soon.

Okay, 2 weeks out. The experience was not exactly trouble free. There were no real complications but, it wasn't all as smooth as I would have liked. So, I had an 11:00 am scheduled surgery and had to be at the hospital by 9:00. Of course, we had to be on the road by 6:30 am to make the trip up north to Hackensack and fight the morning Parkway commuter traffic. Got there right on time and I was in a gown and IV'd within 15 minutes. Then we waited...... and waited. By Noon, my surgeon came in and explained that the ORs had been packed with emergency trauma cases and that my surgery would start around 3:30pm. They came for me at 4:45. The next thing I remember is being jostled awake in the OR. I remember them asking me to move myself over from the operating table to the rolling hospital bed. Then they had me remove the breathing tube from my own nose/throat. So, it seems my sleep apnea was much worse than we all thought. As soon as I was out, the airway completely closed up. It took 3 anesthesiologists a full hour to get me properly intibated. From there on, they tell me the surgery went perfectly. I arrived in my room at 9pm and was out of it for a while. Then, around 4 in the morning, I felt like getting up. Over the next 48 hours, I was the model patient. I was walking around, the catheter was out and I was tolerating liquids without problem. By Thursday night, my blood pressure was high and they wanted to keep me another day. I got so bummed out about it, that I decided to stay in bed all day to get my BP down to make sure I'd go home Friday. BIG MISTAKE. If I've learned anything about recovery from this is that YOU MUST WALK, WALK, & WALK SOME MORE. I stayed in bed and the gasses just kept building up. I was bloated and uncomfortable - but my BP went down and I went home. Over the weekend, the gas pain got so bad that I couldn't move, let alone walk - So I took percocet every 4 hours and slept. On Monday, I had the hiccups all day and the pain was getting worse. My wife called the surgeons office and talked to the nurse about what was going on. I was told to keep drinking liquids, stop the percocet and suck it up and walk. 4 hours later, I was feeling much better. Its been better every day since. I went back to work yesterday - I get tired quickly, but I can deal. As of this morning I'm down 23lbs since the surgery and 45lbs total since the beginning of the year. I'm looking forward being able to sleep on my side comfortably and pick up my daughter again. -Take Care

Whoa, only 4 days until surgery. I'm actually not really that nervous. I'm sure I'll be a mess by Monday night. Well, things certainly have been moving along. I had my pre-op tests eariler in the month and came though with flying colors. Blood pressure, cholesterol, EKG, chest x-ray and liver functions all checked out fine. I've also lost 22 lbs on my own over the last month in preparation for the big day. I've upped my water intake to around 80 oz per day, stopped drinking carbonated beverages, and cut out coffee and caffiene altogether. As a result, I have not suffered one bout of sleep apnea in the past 4 weeks (my wife says that I don't even snore anymore!). Also, I checked out the January 6th Ocean County WLS support group meeting in Toms River - and I can't say enough about how cool it was. Now, I'm not much for this sort of thing, but it was great to talk with a group af people who understand exactly what I'm going through and can offer advice on how to best handle the situation. Every person I spoke with was caring and helpful. I felt a thousand times better about my decision to have the surgery after leaving that room. I highly reccommend finding a similar group in your area. Okay then - that's about it. Hopefully, my next post will be me recounting a trouble-free experience at the hospital. Before WLS • Apple Picking • 417 Lbs

Hey, everyone. My name is A.J. and I'm a 36 year old Graphic Artist from the Jersey Shore. After a year of intensive research and agonizing over my decision, I have my RNY (Lap) with Dr Schmidt scheduled for 1/31/06. I haven't really started freaking out about it yet - I figure I'll save that for after the Holidays. I also plan to attend the Ocean County support group meeting next month. Anyway, it's now time to get control of my ample sihouette. I have a great wife, a nice home, a good job, and an amazing 15 month old daughter. And, for a man of my size, I'm in fairly good health. My blood pressure is slightly elevated (I've been on medication for the last 2 years), I occasionally experience a little sleep apnea and my back sometimes gets a bit tired - but that's it. I am also very aware that my good fortune could turn around quickly. So, I'm going to nip it in the bud right now. I've been below 200 lbs before, and I will again. 25-30 years from now, my daughter WILL have her daddy around to walk her down the aisle. Thanks for stopping by - I'll do my best to update soon. Good luck to all.