ObesityHelp

Well, I figured it was time for an update...so here goes:

I'm almost 24 weeks pregnant!! I can't believe it at times, it seems so surreal. We found out that we're having a boy. Of course, we couldn't be any more excited! We're naming him Nicholas Lee. We picked out our nursery theme. It is the barnyard line found at Babies R Us... so cute. We have also hired a muralist to paint the room. We've got the furniture ordered and that should arrive Wednesday. I'm so excited things are starting to come together. Financially, I worry a lot especially since I have decided to stay home after the baby is born. I'm actually quiting my job at the end of December. I would actually be working to pay for daycare if I decided to stay at work...crazy huh?? So I'm just going to stay home and be a mommy! As far as pregnancy related stuff, I've gained about 20lbs, which I'm not thrilled with, but can't do anything about it right now....I figure, you gotta take the bad with the good, right? I haven't had any problems other than chronic fatigue and the urgent need to constantly use the bathroom. I am starting to suffer from boughts of insomnia though. I go to the doctor on tuesday and hopefully get some lab work done at the Center. We borrowed a fetal heart doppler from a co-worker of my husband's and I just love sitting and listening to Nick's heartbeat and hearing/feeling him moving around. That is something I can never get tired of, I say that now right?? lol Well, I guess I've rambled on long enough...I'm posting pictures in the picture section to share.

I had my baby's first picture taken today :-) Though mind you, she looked like a gray mass in the shape of a bean. It was very surreal. It was like wow, that is actually growing inside of me! I am 10 weeks and 6 days according the the ultrasound. My OB thought I would be almost 12-13 weeks by now. I was suppose to be able to have the 1st trimester screening done to detect for down's syndrome, but I am not far along enough yet. So I get to go back on August 13th for another ultrasound...which I don't mind at all :-) When I go back, I'll be 12 weeks and 3 days. My due date is Feburary 22nd. I've gained about 2-4 lbs so far. The scales bounce up and down horribly! My size 14s are really uncomfortable and have since pulled out my 16s and 18s. Thank goodness I held onto them! I don't have any work clothes in those sizes though so I had to go buy some things. This weekend is the tax free weekend so I might go get a couple more outfits that I feel comfortable wearing. I'm at the point where I can't stand anything to touch me. Thankfully the nauseous went away a few weeks ago, though since then, I have been eating everything in sight. All I have really been wanting is ceral with milk. Special K makes a protein plus cereal which is pretty good and probably the healthiest of all cereals and it has 10 grams of protein per 3/4 c. Which when you eat with milk, it goes straight through you. I usually add a banana. At any rate, I stay in a perpetual state of sleepiness. When I'm not at work, I'm usually asleep. I even come home on my lunch hour to take a 20-30 minute nap. Come home at the end of the day and sleep for 2-3 more hours and then sleep all night with the exception of getting up every 2 hours to pee. I'm hoping that I'll get my energy back in the next couple of weeks and start exercising again. I feel like the biggest sloth ever b/c I'm too tired to exercise. But then I think, I'm growing a human being and I go into this state of wonderment and amazement and giddiness almost and feel better instantly. I think of the love I feel already for her. I'm really wanting a girl so maybe if I go ahead and give it a gender, it will be what I want hahaha. Darren and I have already decided on names too... Madeline Marie if she is a girl and Nicholas Lee if she is a boy lol. We decided to stick with the first names that we both liked and agreed upon instead of just dwelling on it for the next 6 + months. Well.... I think that is it as for an update. As soon as I can figure out a way to get the ultrasound pics online, I'll post those.

188lbs...

oh my freakin' goodness is all I can say! My BMI is in the 20's!! -barely, but there lol

Monday evening, after my workout at the gym, I hopped on the gym's scales.. the dang thing said 190lbs!!!! I was like what the heck?? They're always off, but usually weighs you more than your actual weight (I have been teetering b/w 193-195 since the end of March) I had just weighed myself that morning and the scale at home said 194. So I go home to see what MY scale says (yes, I'm pretty obsessive with weighing myself, I know I know... I drive myself batty with it!).... 189.. and this is in the evening.. so I actually LOST a pound throughout the day... that has NEVER happened ... that I have known of at least lol So, yesterday morning, I hop on the scale thinking that yesterday I was probably just wanting and wishing so hard, to weigh less than 190lbs that I actually saw what I wanted on the scale (silly huh?).... well NOPE, the scale said 188lbs! I never imagined in a million years that I'd see the 180s...I was ecstatic to be less than 200. I don't understand it ... because I have had a horrible time with food choices and getting water in for the past week and a half. But I'm getting back into a routine...at least I'm trying to establish a new one. I just started a new job and it has been hard finding my routine of doing things. Oh well... I'm a little frustrated right now with my class I'm taking for my Master's. I was only taking classes because I was really bored at my other job and used my off time at work (which was a lot) for homework and such. It is an online class so it is very convenient. Now that I have the other job that keeps me busier, I have no time to really devote to the class now. Secondly, the field I chose to study does not appeal to me in the least! I'm just not interested; therefore, I'm not motivated to do the work. I do the work...but it isn't my 100% best effort. Now , my professor just emailed me and the last test I just took last week wasn't submitted properly due to technical difficulties. It was even graded through the computer (I made a 45 out of 50) So tonight, that is what I will be doing.. taking another test (I hope it is the same questions) and then completing the weekly assignment for the course... urgh!!!

These wow moments happened last week, almost a year after RNY - I think these have been the most significant of all in the past year.

wow moment 1 - I hadn't seen my mother in a about two months (even though we live just 2 miles from each other!). She works 3rd shift at a local pharmacy which the shift makes it difficult to spend time with her. Anyways, April 5th was her birthday so I wanted to get her bday gift to her. So, I decided to take it to her at work. I didn't see her in the store so I asked her to be paged. As she was walking from the back of the store to the front, I started waving to her....she was squinting to see who it was and had this look of "who the heck are you" on her face. She did this until she got about 10 feet from me and said "OH MY GOD" and had the most shocked expression on her face. Her reaction to seeing me was absolutely priceless. My own mother didn't even recognize me! The whole transformation is truly amazing. I remember pre-weight loss surgery, when I lost 10-15lbs... no one could even tell. I had only lost maybe 10-15lbs in those two months I didn't see her...and she didn't recognize me! Also, I suppose this goes to show you that even though you may not be losing pounds, you're probably losing inches!

Wow moment 2 - Not really a wow moment, but I have to share! The next morning, after wow moment 1, my husband came home from work (He works third shift too) to find me standing in the kitchen getting my vitamins and protein drink for the morning. Of course, I am still in my pajamas which are incredibly baggy....so he is looking at me, eyeing my cheek bones jutting out and my super defined collar bones and how my pjs are just haning on me and exclaims "You're so scrawny!!" I laughed so hard! Me???....scrawny???? (definitely an oxymoron there!) I am just now kinda sorta getting accustomed to the word "skinny" now.... scrawny!! HA!

Wow moment 3 - The NEXT day after I was called scrawny by my DH, I decided to go shopping. Plus I needed some nice pants for my new job. Well, I was in Dillard's looking through the clearance racks in the "Woman's" department and a sales lady approached me and asked me if there was anything she could help me with. I politely said no thanks and told her I was just looking for some business attire. She looked at me like I was a little crazy and then asked me if I realized I was in the Plus Sizes.... I was kind of taken aback and a little confused, because I've had the same situation happen to me in the "skinny peoples" section and I thought maybe they had rearranged or something LOL so anyways,  I thought she was kidding with me. But I told her yes I realized that and told her I've always shopped in the Plus Sizes. Her eyes got big and she said, you LOOK too small to be shopping in Plus Sizes...and went on to say that she just wanted to make sure I was in the right department. OH MY GOODNESS, I almost started bawling right there in Dillard's. I did get tears in my eyes, but I didn't want to look like an idiot crying in the middle of Dillard's LOL But this moment has meant more to me than any other wow moment... I felt I finally accomplished the biggest task I have ever had in my ENTIRE life. It was a feeling of "I did it!" The best feeling EVER!