Finding out that I'm losing my job at the end of March next year, being alone, just quitting smoking...I caved. I went to the wretched Mcdonalds and bought myself a big mac meal. I was able to eat it without the top and bottom bread pieces, but I sucked down those fries like crazy. I can't lie, it tasted magnificent. Now that it's over, of course I feel bad and I'm sure it'll set me back on my loss. I just have to learn to find another way to get my frustration and lonliness dealt with that doesn't entail doing something bad for me. I hate it when I'm alone on holidays, even the if it's just the 4th of July. It's hard when all of my parents and siblings are gone and my kids are now grown and doing their own thing for the holiday. I can't remember the last time i was actually with someone special for the 4th. It may be back in the late 90's. Sheesh, that blows.

Tomorrow, I'll hope and try to be better. Maybe find something that I can grill that feels decadent and buy myself a cookie or something.