Hooray For The Weekends!

Mar 28, 2009

I had a rough week at work.....deadlines on top of deadlines and new projects....just glad I have two days to catch my breath!  ha!  I was being silly again and thought that maybe a small fill would do me some good.  Haven't lost weight in a month.  I called Dr. Acosta's office and even though him and Dr. Lara do come to ABQ for fills once a month, they don't come together.  I am only allowed to see Dr. Acosta for a fill.  The first I can see him is in June.  I went ahead and took that appointment.  I might need one by then.  I thankfully, do not need one now.    I was hardly able to eat at all on Thursday night and not much yesterday either.  I know that on Wednesday and Thursday I didn't get enough fluids in.  My band is pretty sensitive to that.  When I am dehydrated he tightens up like a mother.  LOL  I have not gotten any exercise in, except for Monday, I did take my walk on that day.  By some miracle I am down to 177 this morning!  Yeah!  A new low!!  I sure hope this continues.....that long dry spell sucked!!

On the personal front, I talked with Jamie's mom some more.  I was feeling VERY guilty for not calling her every day.  Last night she told me to quit feeling that way.  She has both of the kids for now.  I know Savahna will go back to her grandpa in a day or so, but it's good for Carlos to have his sister there.  Patty said they talked about their mom and how now they don't have any parents to each other.  Probably this talk was much needed.  
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Results Of The Test....

Mar 21, 2009

I can't stick to a damn test.......ha ha ha I know, I am bad.  If I had control of my entire day every day, that would be different.  I did take 4 ounces of chicken breast cut up really small and really moist for lunch on Monday.  I was only able to eat about half.  Monday night, I had the same for dinner and only ate about half again.   The rest of the week is sort of a blur.  At work the four of us supervisors were interviewing several applicants each day.  When we weren't doing that, I was either working on stuff I had to do with one of my employees or some drama with another one.  I DO love my job, but sometimes things get hectic and I dont have time to take care of ME.  

Wednesday was a co-worker's birthday, so I brought in cakes, queso, chips...and there was plenty of other goodies.   I was bad and let myself eat way too many chips and queso!  Oh well.  I did go on a four mile walk/bike ride that evening when I got home. Sheesh.  I don't understand how come I can't seem to ride a bike anymore.  When I was a kid, I could ride my bike ALL DAY long and never seem to get tired.  If I go up the slightest hill today I have to get off of my bike and walk it.  .  I know, right?  So embarassing!!  I change the gears, try to do everything, but my thigh muscles just plain give out....it's like I am a total wimp!  I can walk four miles with NO problems at all.  I just don't get it.  

So, the scale has gone down some from last week, but I am still up from my lowest.  I was right at 180 exactly this morning.  I will be busy cleaning house and doing things today, but I am sure I will have a few drinks tonight.  The bloody bitch is gone and I want to have some fun!!  ha ha ha!! 

On a more serious note....Jamie's younger sister called me earlier in the week.  She just had it confirmed to her that Jamie passed from a blood clot to the heart.  OMG.  It was all sooooo senseless!!  NONE OF IT NEEDED TO HAPPEN!!!  It just made me angry.  Well, Jamie's worthless ex got out of jail on Thursday LAST week and waited one full week to contact either of the grandparents to see his children!!  TRASH!!   So, both grandparents told him to go f*!@ himself!  GOOD!!  Jamie's mom called me on Thursday night though to also tell me that they did find out that Jamie had never added the kids as beneficiaries to her retirment money or life insurance,  So the stupid a-hole gets ALL OF THE MONEY!!!  I can't believe it!!  Jamie was so smart about all of that stuff!!  Its such a tragedy.  All of it is just a nightmare.  So, for all of my prayer giving people out there, please keep praying for her kids and family!  
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The Test

Mar 14, 2009

Okay, my dear monthly visitor showed up on Thursday.  Of course my band has been tight since then!  LMAO!  Now will be my test.  For one full week I am going to make sure that the only foods I have for my meals are weighed or measured SOLID proteins.  I am going to methodically take very small bites and chew chew chew.  If my band is allowing more than 1 cup of food then I will schedule a fill.  If anything, I should be back on track to losing weight by eating the proper bandster way.  I know that I have ended up eating a lot of thick soups and stews this winter.  It was quick, good and necessary sometimes.  However, Spring and Summer are on the horizon and I am ready to shed my remaining pounds that will get down to goal!  

I am going to recommit to getting in my exercise DAILY.....and being good to myself.  These commitments will help me decide if a fill is what I need and will definitely get me back to the losing side and down to goal.  YEAH!! 

I have been in contact with one of my dearest friends from the past through Facebook.  She called me yesterday and we picked up right where we left off!!  It's so funny.  You can have people in your life that you just click with.........people that "get" who you are and love you.  People who know how to make you laugh.  I am scanning in some old pictures of us and I am going to put them up on Facebook.  Can't wait to get her reaction.  I was reading some of the things she put in my yearbook and laughing out loud all evening.  I'm very glad we found each other again! 
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To Fill, Or Not To Fill....

Mar 11, 2009

Okay, I am scratching my head on this one.   My band has been at a pretty consistant tightness since last May.  The only two times it has been different are when I stupidly decided to get a small fill back in October, and then over New Year's when I really irritated it somehow and he got SUPER tight. 

The month of February has been a VERY sad, VERY stressful month for me.  Because of everything going on I haven't really concentrated on my eating or exercising.  I haven't really lost weight either.  In fact this past week I have been VERY BAD with my eating and I have put on a couple of pounds.  .  There have been a few months that my band seemed to open up a day or two before dear Auntie Flo came for her monthly visit.  PMS time is a horrible time because I am driven to eat as it is.  Put the two together (I am sure they are related anyway) and you get baaaaad eating habits.  UGH.  Only this time it seems even worse.  Last month I wrote about how I was obsessing over food before my period again.......but this month I can eat much more food than normal.  

I am wondering if I really do need a small fill this time.  I looked back at my blog and I have really only lost about 10 pounds since my band fill/unfill in early November.  I am so confused.  I don't want to make the mistake of an overfill again.  However, I want to get this last 30 something pounds off!! I was up to 182 this morning.  UGH!  I guess the only thing to do is wait until my period is over and try and take the most honest assesment that I can.  I am going to dedicate the next 30 pounds to Jamie.  She was so proud and cheered me on........she would not like to see me give up on this.  

I talked to Jamie's mom last night, she called me.  She is having such a rough time.  I wish I could fast forward time for her.....time is the ONLY thing that will ease her pain.  She just wants to die.....Please say a prayer for Jamie's family.  
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Life Marches On

Mar 07, 2009

This week Jamie's children have birthdays to mark.  I brought over presents and got to spend some time with her son.  He turned 4 years old this week.  He is such a living doll and definitely has Jamie's warm smile in his eyes.  He asked me if I had heard what happened to his mom.  I told him yes, but we didn't talk about it.  It's so sad that he is so young and won't have many memories of her.  Patti is still struggling, but that is to be expected of course.  I have so many good, caring people around me.....it's amazing and I really am thankful.

The scale has NOT loved me this week.....I went back up to almost 182 but was back down to 180 this morning.  UGH.  I am pretty sure that I am PMSing, as I am craving food a lot right now.  I have TRIED to be good, but that doesn't always happen.  I am also wondering if it's finally time for a SMALL fill.  I am still not able to eat a huge amount of food at one time, but I have noticed that I am not having to take very small bites and not having to chew as much lately.  I think I will monitor and see after my period if my band might need a little tweaking.  

A co-worker who has been trying to lose weight was keeping a log of our weights and measurements.  She was doing this while she was PREGNANT.  LOL  Anyway, she is back from maternity leave and wanted to know if I wanted to put down my latest numbers.  I agreed and when I looked at her log my last entry was from September.  I weighed in at 195 back then and when I measured I have lost 2 inches in my arms and waist since that time.  I am averaging a steady 5 lb a month weight loss.  I can live with that.  If that continues then I WILL be at goal by July some time.  That will be great!!!
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About Me
Rio Rancho, NM
Location
31.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/03/2012
Surgery Date
Jun 26, 2007
Member Since

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