Can Thursday Hurry Up And Get Here??

Sep 26, 2009

I travel down to El Paso on Thursday for my fill.....FINALLY!!!  I haven't been this loose since my first or second fill.  I can eat anything, and my will power is for shit.  I was back up to 161 as of this morning.  A band friend, Tom, suggested I try to stay with fruits and veggies this week.  If I can keep my ass away from fast food, that would be a great improvement!  

I am going up to New Jersey in two weeks to see my older brother, but I will be getting to meet a lot of friends that I have met through this board.  This board has been one of my best friends for over two years now.  I am thankful for the information I have received and the friends I have made here,  

Come on Thursday,....get here already!!
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Can't Wait For My Fill!!

Sep 19, 2009

I think I was up to 164 at some point last week.  I was back down to 160 this morning.  Not too bad, considering that I have been bad bad bad.  I did the pouch test for only about two days. Hunger took over.  Without any restriction I need solid protein to get my through, no liquids.  

I am think the E/R surgeon took out way more than 1 CC.  When he put the needle in, he didn't have the syringe attached to it yet, so some saline came shooting out.  He estimated that it was just a few drops.  When you are talking about small amounts, a few drops could be a few CC's.  I know that Dr. Acosta will check and see how much total I have now.  UGH.  I really hope he puts me very close to where I was before.  I need my band to help me out!! 

Life has been very busy with working two jobs.  I hate it.  I am hoping that I won't have to do this much longer.  I still haven't heard officially about my car.  The adjuster said yesterday that he is not totaling it, but it's right on the cusp, so his supervisor would make the final decision.  UGH!!!  I am hoping that it does get totaled at this point.....seriously.  I need to get out of that payment!  I don't want to continue to work two jobs.  

I traveled down to the Black Ranger District to speak to the Forest Service employees of the Gila National Forest yesterday.  I work for the Forest Service and was representing my area.  It was a lot of fun, but I certainly realized that I am so damn shy in front of crowds that it hurts!  ha ha!  I am good one on one with meeting new people, but speaking in front of a crowd is so hard for me.  Luckily, the co-worker that went with me is very good with crowds.  He handled it very well!  I think if I hadn't lost this weight, I would have been so much more embarassed to walk up to that podium.  I know that I would have been.  I would have been thinking to myself, "All of these people are thinking about how disgustingly fat I am..."  True or not, that's what I would have been thinking.

Off from both jobs today and tomorrow, so I am off to have fun!
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Ten Pounds Can Make Or Break My Self Esteem!

Sep 13, 2009

As of today, I have gained back 10 freaking pounds!!  It sucks!!!!  Aunt Flo is gone, and so is my bad eating!!  I am going on the 5 day pouch test, starting today!  I have to detox myself from carbs, starting today!  I almost went to get a fill from Fill Centers USA, but I know I can't afford the $165 expense right now.  I will just wait for my October 1st appt with Dr. Acosta.  I will lose at least 7 of the pounds I have gained by then.  I  will make sure of it!! 

One my dearest and trusted band friends says that the 5 day pouch test is the way to go to get myself back on track.  I have to make myself stick to it.  I went to the NM State Fair yesterday.  I had a good time, but managed to eat all of the bad food and drink beer.  Now that THAT is out of my system, I can start the pouch test.  ha ha!  

I still haven't got the official word that my car is totaled, but I am sure it is.  I am driving a little red Ford Focus as my rental car, and I like it.  Maybe I can find a used one, or something similar that will have affordable payments.  I hate having bad credit, but I am turning my life around slowly, and this will also be an area that is getting better.  I will have the life I dream of...one day at a time!
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Whoa!! Stop The Madness!!

Sep 09, 2009

Okay, I can officially eat ANYTHING and I hate it!!!  I am doing a mid-week update because I need to remind myself how far I have come, and that I NEVER want to go back to where I was.  My eating has been completely out of control!    I started my period last night, so I know that part of my eating has been hormonal.  

I was in a car accident yesterday on the way to work.    I am almost positive that my car is a total loss and the Geico adjuster said basically the same thing, but wouldn't know for sure until he has some other people check further.  My convertible PT Cruiser was my dream car.  I am sad, but thankfully, I am okay.  My neck is hurting very much today.  I went to a nurse practitioner and she gave me some Flexoril (sp?) and some pain killers.  So, at the moment I am feeling better. ha ha!

I have 3 more weeks before I can get a fill, and I DO NOT want to gain all that I have lost since that fill in June.  I CAN DO THIS!!!  I AM STRONG!!!  I AM WORTH IT!!!
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The Beast Is Not Dead!

Sep 06, 2009

My food demons are alive and well!!  After getting one full CC out of my band, I have been eating like crazy!!  I am back up to 156 lbs as of this morning.  UGH.  I let myself go nuts for the first few days,  After being scared to eat for two solid months, I cut myself that slack.  I find that I can eat almost anything.  *gulp*  Soooooo, I have to reign myself in NOW.  My appointent with Dr. Acosta isn't until October 1st, and I do not want to go in and have gained all of my weight back.  I refuse to keep going backwards.

I started a second job this week.  I am working at Walmart evenings and weekends.  The bright side to this, is I will not have much time, if any, to graze and eat just because I want to eat.  The downside is that I am losing all of my free time.  Oh well....I am strong, independent woman, and this too I will overcome.
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About Me
Rio Rancho, NM
Location
31.0
BMI
VSG
Surgery
04/03/2012
Surgery Date
Jun 26, 2007
Member Since

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